


I heard a scream (in the woods somewhere)

by beebolovesyou



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Character Death, F/F, Here comes the murder, Medieval AU, Past Sexual Assault, Slow Burn-ish, Sorry bad English, Swords being used and not to make sandwiches, and parental abuse, there is now warnings for suicide attempt, very generic story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:47:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 115,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21957610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beebolovesyou/pseuds/beebolovesyou
Summary: The Princess swallowed heavily. A dead end. Would she be foolish enough to break the safe-passage if Lex touched a single hair in Alex’s body? Ten times yes.“So we’re making a deal with the King of shadows”Kara despised the idea.or the 'oh no. Their families hate each other because of the war' fic
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 172
Kudos: 273





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this instead of making any Christmas plans. NO REGRETS

Kara’s steps were too heavy. Heavy and rushed. Usually, she was light on her feet, never putting more weight than necessary into her movements, always balanced and fluid. Her aunt had taught her that stealth easily got the upper hand when it came to combat, and strength was a lesser adversary when faced with patience.

Today, though, patience had given away to anger. There wasn’t anything calm about her as of this moment, all she had was a revolting feeling in her stomach and the unyielding desire to murder Lex Luthor.

The thudding of her boots continued to disrupt the hallways, it served as an alarm to the guards lazily leaning against the doors as they scrambled into a more dignified position. Her face must have been unusually stern because they moved out the way immediately without further inquiry. Kara barged inside, forgoing the pleasantries and took in the sight of the room.

Five heads turned at the loud sound, Kara’s steps faltered for a moment. She didn’t expect the council to be here. Alura directed a harsh look towards her, the Queen was as pristine as ever clad in blue and gold. Kara reassumed her walk, ignoring the stares directed at her by the respected composition of the Royal council. Any other day she would have condemned herself for such rudeness, but then again, today was a particularly bad day.

“Mother.” Kara’s tone was out of line, as it was referring to her Majesty in such a casual title in front of her advisers. If anything she was making herself look like a petulant child.

Alura dislodged from her chair graciously and surveyed the table “Forgive me, I’m afraid this meeting will have to continue in the afternoon. I must have a word with Princess Kara first.”

A chorus of voices responded diligently “Yes, Your Majesty”

Kara kept her stiff stance as people exited respectfully, paying no mind to them.

She knew them all since she was a child and would be rejoiced to see them in any other circumstance. Not now though.

Alura eyed the door briefly before it was locked, then sighed deeply as she took in her daughter’s obvious dissidence.

“Good morning, Kara” she said, tiredness clear in her voice.

“What kind of insanity has gotten into you?” was the response she got thrown.

Her mother braced herself by crossing her arms “Kara, I was about to-“

“About to inform me my sister has been kidnapped?” Kara interrupts, frown prominent in her forehead “well that would have been useful hours ago, mother! When she was taken!”

“Of course. Darling, I understand why you feel like this but it was pitch black outside. As soon as they found out I sent a search committee after her” Alura explained softly, as a mother her first instinct was to sooth Kara’s distress even if she had to fight against the aggression lining it.

Kara took two big steps in her direction, her face was flooded with angry disbelief “Did it occurred to you that maybe I would want to be on that search committee? Alex would be out there if I was missing, how could you possibly hold something like this from me?”

Alura tried to look less offended than she felt “Kara, I care about Alex too but I was not about to send you out in the middle of the night, you’re my daughter. My heir. I can’t let you go in blindly into such dangers”

“You can’t– I’m not any more important than Alex!” Kara gesticulated wildly “She’s out there, held by that bald excuse of a man and you are thinking about _my_ safety” she knows that politically speaking she’s a much more valuable hostage than Alex, but it doesn’t make it any easier to digest. If anything is harder because that means Alex's life is at a greater risk.

“He might kill her, mom” At that moment worry started to replace her fury. Alex might not be her family by blood, but Kara wouldn’t ever question she was truly her sister just in the same way Astra was her mother’s.

Without her Kara knows she would’ve been lost, after the war Alex had been there to sooth and share her grief. “I won't stand aside”

Alura recognized the stubbornness Kara had inherited from her father, it was both endearing and painful. Kara did everything fully, it reflected in most of the things she was passionate about but especially one thing: Kara loved fully. Selflessly. Ablaze.

She watched the tensed up muscle that was her daughter’s shoulders. But since the war Kara had also learned to love with the fear of losing, and Alura saw it written all over her face.

“I understand,” she thought Kara might pull away but she reached for her hand anyway. The blonde winced slightly, yet she held onto her and after a second Kara returned the gesture. “Alex is family, we will not abandon her. Not ever”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Kara demanded, changing her footing with impatience to face her mother more fully.

“I can’t just invade their land, Kara. The peace treaty establishes our borders, if we cross it there will be conflict” Her mother says impotently.

Kara scoffs and drops her Alura’s hand “The peace treaty is fifteen years old and it appears they don’t give horse shit about it! They crossed our border, they took a member of the Royal family. There’s conflict already and it’s all their making, mother”

“It’s not that simple, Kara” this is the kind of situation that really pushes Alura’s duty to her kingdom and makes her wish she could just relinquish her position as Queen “they assure us she was caught crossing their border and that’s why they apprehended her” she deposited the missive in Kara’s eager hands.

The Princess skimmed through the words. It was all pompous and accusatory, when she got to the bottom of it she was barely surprised to see the signature.

“….I expect your attendance to further discuss this matter and the consequences of such trespassing against the established accords of the peace treaty. Lex Luthor, King of Umbra.” She read the last part out loud, bitterly spitting out the name. For a second she considered ripping the letter apart into tiny pieces.

“This doesn’t make any sense” Kara threw the paper in an offended manner and it landed in the middle of the table “Alex wouldn’t cross that border. What proof does he even possess to say so?”

Alura exhales tiredly “Witnesses. At least that’s what he wrote”

“Of course, paid witnesses. Men of the King surely, why would they ever lie” Kara says sarcastically “I don’t believe a single word”

“Me neither” her mother admits “Regardless, we must find a diplomatic solution to this.”

Kara gasps “You can’t seriously consider the idea of meeting him. He’s a treacherous man, the moment we set foot inside Umbra he will-“

“We won’t meet him at Umbra, Kara. I’m not stupid, I won’t let a single Kryptonian enter that cursed land.” Alura’s stern tone was enough to make Kara mind her own.

“Forgive me, mother. I didn’t mean to insinuate anything of the sort” Kara apologized honestly. “I’m just…” she couldn’t find the right word.

“You fear for your sister, and I do too.” Alura conceded, she placed a hand firmly on her daughter’s cheek “but we will get her back, I promise.”

Kara swallows heavily “You say that, but I have the feeling whatever this is… the King’s intentions are rotten, mother”

Yes, Alura remembered. Over the years the aching had lessened but it hadn’t disappeared, the loss had surrounded her with chains and riddled her with worry.

She touched the smooth surface of her wedding bracelet, it wrapped around her wrist snuggly and in the quiet evenings she could almost pretend it was her husband’s hand instead of pleated gold.

“I won’t ever be trusting of any King of the Shadowlands, but I must tread carefully for the sake of our people” Kara didn’t particularly like her answer if it were her choice she’d be on a horse by now, armed and ready to get Alex back.

Alura minded her words, she knew her daughter understood diplomacy, but she also knew Kara had never forgotten whom she lost her father to.

“Lex can express his intentions in the meeting. I don’t care about his games, I won’t be fooled into anything and we won’t leave without Alex by our side.” She said resolutely. It seemed to convey enough confidence to quell her daughter’s doubts. For now at least.

…

“What is he like?” the Princess asked, keeping her eyes on the road ahead.

J’onn J’onzz smiled fleetingly at the sight. He’d seen her grow from a small child into a strong adult, she looked splendid with her blonde hair and wide shoulders. Zor-El’s daughter indeed.

Then his thoughts returned to the more somber theme.

“Alexander Luthor” he let the name pass his lips with apprehension “Firstborn of King Lionel and Queen Lillian, sovereign ruler of Umbra. Quite the lineage, powerful kingdom, and a cunning that precedes him”

“I’ve heard that’s not the only character that precedes him” Kara points out, recalling what little she’s heard. “Paranoiac, of explosive temper, power-driven, borderline cruel” she listed, her frown deepening the more she thought about it.

J’onn nodded, they heard often about the King’s reputation in court. Probably as much as he heard of them in his “It might be all true, or not. The last time I saw Lex he wasn’t King, he was only about your age and he still had hair” the Princess gave him an amused look at the comment.

“When I escorted her Majesty to meet Queen Lillian and sign the peace treaty he was there, beside his mother looking at us with cold eyes. I knew underneath that mask there was rage, weren’t it for Lillian he probably would’ve persisted with his father’s war” 

“Why didn’t he?” Kara asked, looking back at the Queen’s carriage.

“His ruling period hadn’t started yet. Lillian wasn’t enthusiastic about peace either but she saw the fragility of her forces, saw the strengthening of ours. They would’ve lost, so surrendering was the smartest choice.” He reasoned.

Lionel and Zor-El had fought a three-year war and in the end, it had been their widows the ones that finished it.

“It’s been fifteen years. What’s stopping them from heading into a new war?” Kara sensed there wasn’t much, Umbra had been weak after the war but they had a long period of recovering.

J’onn ignored the uncertainty ignited by the question, instead, he spoke assuredly “The knowledge we would beat them again.” 

They arrived by midday, after three long days of straight travel through the Kryptonian countryside. Alura had negotiated the meeting place and Lex had agreed with few complains, Kara didn’t know whether to be reassured or concerned about the quick approval. Krypton and Umbra we’re almost geographically conjunct, except in the southern parts where the Kingdom of Daxam drove a wedge between them. That’s where Alura decided would be best to meet, with the neutral presence of the Daximites and in the furthest point form both their capitals, meaning their armies would be too far away to cause any trouble.

 _Both our army and theirs_ , Kara considered as she touched the hilt of her sword. Sure, they had agreed to travel with a company of no more than twenty, but a combat of twenty against twenty wasn’t any less of a looming threat. Kara trusts her knights, she trusts General J’onzz and trusts in her own skills. Is King Lex she doesn’t trust.

“Kara” Alura warns “We didn’t come here for a fight”

Kara drifts her attention from the carriage window to her mother “No, but if he gives me a reason to I won’t be caught off guard” 

“Is this caution or impulsiveness?” the Queen questions with pointed cadence. Before the princess gets a chance to respond they get interrupted by a knock.

“The scouting party came back. Everything seems safe and Queen Rhea is waiting to receive you, Your Grace.” J’onn informs them.

“The King?” Kara wondered.

“He and his companions arrived half an hour ago and are expecting us to join them shortly”

Alura nodded “Better not keep them on hold” she announced and the caravan continued its advance. Fifteen minutes later they came to a halt and Alura directed one last expectant look at her daughter

Kara lifted her hands in an innocent gesture “I won’t do anything impulsive, mother.” She promised and then switched to a more serious tone “Alex’s life is at stake here. As well as yours. I would never act capriciously in such a dire situation, all I want is to keep my family safe”

Alura smiled gently and leaned to kiss her forehead “of course that’s all you want, my sweet girl. Rao will bless us and soon we will head home together. But if anything were to go wrong, I know I have a strong stubborn Princess to defend me”

Kara allowed herself to laugh quietly at her mother’s teasing comment. The moment was cut short by the sound of trumpets announcing their arrival, both mother and daughter readied for their imminent reunion with the Luthors. 

Outside the sun bathed the clearing Daxam had disposed of for the meeting. Kara surveyed the campsite, she calculates that Rhea’s forces consist of no more than a hundred soldiers for peacekeeping, more than enough to subdue Alura’s and Lex’s small ones if needed.

The arrangement of the camp revolved around the big regal tent where the meeting would take place, but Kara saw the grey banners of Umbra as well as their men settling accommodations farthest away as they could manage.

“They would set camp above the trees if they could, just to avoid breathing the same air as us” Kara said as she offered a hand to help Alura climb down.

Alura spared a single glance at her daughter’s object of interest “Doesn’t sound like a bad idea. The less we mix with them the better” she retorted with a speck of relief.

“Should I order to set camp in the trees then, your Grace?” J’onn proposed.

Alura held back her amused smile. Barely. “No need, General. Around here will do.”

As the men start lifting the tents Kara and Alura dig into the sparse belongings they’ve brought. The Queen had already changed into her highly ornamented dress before they arrived, so she only has to put on her jewelry and crown. Kara changed her mudded riding boots and switched to a blue fitting shirt with intricate embroidery, but she kept the leather trousers. Her crown is resting in the same heavy chest as her mother’s, glinting silver accompanied the gold reflections of Alura’s.

She doesn’t touch it.

“Pants and no crown?” Alura asks without really asking because Kara looks deadly decided “let’s hope King Lex takes it for humility instead of insurgency.”

“You are the Queen. I’ll have my time to wear pretty dresses and crowns after succession” Kara explains. She leaves out the part where it is easier to fight without a dress tripping you and a crown to balance on your head.

Alura reads through her “You do know they won’t let you carry your sword inside, right?”

“I have hands” Kara states with a great level of self-assurance.

“You could at least wear a cape”

Kara frowned. A cape could restrict her arm movement and make it easier for others to grab a hold of her, she opened her mouth to decline but Alura was already looking into the arks, only then did the Princess noticed the slight shake of her mother’s hands. It made her relent her rebellion in the matter.

“There. It’s not a crown but- well, it might ensue more approval if you don’t look too presumptions. Although we do risk him gaging you with inferiority, what’s to do about it” the Queen said as she finished fastening the red cloak around her shoulders, nervous fingers danced over the fabric and Kara saw the sadness in her eyes.

When Kara remembered her father she always pictured him wearing that same red cape, he used to say it gave him luck.

Most of his clothing was still untouched back in the palace, Alura had given this piece to Kara when she turned eighteen (having to cut a few inches) and told her she was Zor-El’s legacy. Krypton’s hope.

And now they were here. About to meet the family they’ve fought over a decade ago, in the war where Alura had lost her husband and was left to care for a whole kingdom by herself, not to mention a heartbroken child with recurrent nightmares. Kara could only imagine the clustering of worries her mother must be having.

“Mom” Kara calls softly and by the way Alura looks at her, she knows her voice just did that thing where it sounded like Zor-El. Just for a moment. “Rao will bless us and soon we will be home. Together.” She assures, hoping it’s the remainder Alura needs.

Alura nods “ _El Mayarah_ ” she recites the familiar motto to restore bravery into both their hearts “Let’s get Alex.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I've lost too many neurons this decade)

Kara kept her eyes forward, hand falling to the hilt of her sword out of habit. She’s become accustomed to being stared at, wherever she went eyes followed. Yet the kind of attention that followed her today was by far too different from what she’d ever experienced before. Alura had guarded her closely after the war and the Kryptonian Princess didn’t venture often out of her kingdom.

The Daximite soldiers kept respectful expressions (some tainted by poorly concealed boredom). The Kingsmen were a whole different front. Umbra was known for being a somber place and Kara had somewhat expected its people to be a reflection of that, still, the faces she saw couldn’t correspond to just that.

Kara tried to keep her scrutiny short and her face expressionless, but the truth sinks deep as she watches Lex’s soldiers: they would gladly trust a blade into her heart.

Queen Rhea greets them just outside the tent, with a consort of her own. Kara locks eyes with Daxam’s heir for a brief moment, Mon-El has grown several inches since the last time they saw each other and he’s sporting a beard. Her attention returns quickly to his mother, as Alura bows she quickly follows.

“Queen Rhea” Alura greets cordially “We are infinitely grateful for your hospitality and helping hand during these difficulties. My daughter and I did hope to visit under less pressing circumstances.”

Rhea offers a bright smile “oh, yes! It’s been a couple of years since the last time we got to mingle” then she settles her eye on Kara “Dear Princess, you look as beautiful as ever”

“Thank you, Your Grace,” Kara replies politely.

“I consider myself lucky I birthed a son. I don’t have to worry about not being the prettiest woman in the family” she said cheekily.

Alura’s laugh sounded fake, Kara could tell her mother wasn’t amused. Rhea had always been a self-centered woman from what Kara had been told, which she had corroborated when first meeting her at the age of sixteen.

Since the sudden death of his husband, King Lar Gand, Rhea had intensely sought out ways to increase her Kingdom’s power. One of them had been to extend an offer of marriage to Alura, intending for their heirs to marry.

“Yes, well…” Alura cleared her throat “I do think it is best if we don’t delay this meeting further. King Lex must be waiting”

Rhea’s struggled to maintain her amicable expression at the deflection “Right. As agreed, you’ll be allowed two of your men to escort you inside. No weapons allowed, of course.”

Alura nodded and Astra moved forward to stand in front of her as Queen’s escort, similarly J’onn took his place in front of Kara. Both of them started to strip their weapons in front of the Daximites close observation, J’onn simply untied the scabbard that held the long sword to his waist and gave it away to Lucy, his second in command.

Astra did the same but extracted begrudgingly her set of daggers, one hidden in each boot. Kara waited until they were done, she clasped the pommel of her sword for a moment before handing it over, along with her sense of security.

Rhea led them inside with some of her men trailing behind her. Kara knew the Daximites had sworn to impartial mediation but it did little to reassure her, she walked in with caution and feeling naked without her favorite piece of iron. Alura exuded a much more unperturbed appearance, presumably from dealing with these sorts of situations over her extensive ruling years.

The world darkened considerably and her eyes made an effort to adjust, when they did Kara took in the large rectangular table where the King was already seated. Lex Luthor was staring at his wine glass and Kara thought perhaps he expected to see something prophetic in it, for he’s mind seemed absent even as they walked in.

Rhea had to call for his attention “Your Majesty.”

Lex finally dragged his eyes up. His face stayed a cold mask of indifference for a long moment and Kara felt her hand twitch for the sword that had been left outside. Then a smile slipped into Lex’s face, in a slow stretch and the tension de-escalated around the room.

Never the less, the princess noticed that as wide as his smile might be, his eyes were stone-cold and almost cruel.

“Queen Alura. Princess Kara. Please take a seat, no need to bow” he said, even though neither of them had even attempted to “We are all royalty after all. Most of us anyway.” He corrected as he examined their companions.

“King Lex. This is Astra In-Ze and J’onn J’oonz, Generals of Krypton’s supreme forces.” Alura introduced.

The King paid no attention to this new information. Kara suspected he already knew everyone in the room, if something was said of him it always revolved around his paranoia and need of control.

“We should make the best of our time, there’s a discussion to be had.” Lex motioned to the chairs once again. Kara helped Alura with her chair before sitting, Queen Rhea sat at the head of the table and her son stood close by.

The Princess allowed herself to give the place a once over, mostly to count heads. There were twelve Daximite soldiers at a sufficient distance, some younger than others but all armed. Behind Lex’s chair stood two men, tall and strong with vigilant eyes, neither seemed to hold a weapon as agreed. Twenty people, hazily counted, in a tent big enough to fit fifty and still Kara felt like the place was crammed.

“You have a member of my family. Where is she?” Alura said. Kara was pleasantly surprised with her mother’s straightforwardness, it wasn’t often the Queen set aside courtesy so bluntly.

Lex is unimpressed by it, he takes a small sip of his wine before replying “Lady Alex has been a lovely company to my sister. They are together right now, waiting for the outcome of our negotiations.”

“Negotiations?” is the first word Kara utters since she stepped into the tent “my sister’s release is not a negotiation. It's a demand"

“Your sister crossed into my lands. An act forbidden by the treaty and punishable as the ruler of said borders finds fitting.” Blue eyes pierce sharply into her direction and Kara feels her hand inching. Rao, if she could just punch him she’d do it in a heartbeat.

Alura intervenes quickly “Lillian and I set those laws if I could speak to her-“

“I have no doubts my mother would be easy to leniency in this circumstance, but she isn’t Queen anymore.”

Kara felt her guts twisting as the silence engulfed the room. The tales of Lillian weren’t riddled by descriptions of her kindness but she did sound more reasonable than her son.

Across the table, Lex looks too full of himself, like he just got the reaction he wanted. Kara watches from the corner of her eye the deep sternness in her mother’s face harden at her back Astra has quietly moved closer to her twin sister.

“No need to be crass, Alexander.” Alura says, the King's jaw strains as if he doesn’t like being called that “We both know that family is something I’d go extreme lengths for”

Kara recognizes the tone, its Alura’s ultimatum. Were Lex to continue on his insinuations then the Princess was the least of her problems because the Queen has decided she won’t lose time with games.

“You’ve always been so perceptive, Queen Alura” Lex eases his attacks. Kara isn’t able to tell if he does so out of intimidation or a false sense of superiority. “I was initially enraged by the careless evasion of our laws committed by Lady Alex. Why would she do such a thing? I wondered”

“My sister would never voluntarily step into your land” Princess spoke with a bite to her words that, thankfully, the King ignored. “I suppose you have proof of her transgressions”

“I do,” Lex said calmly, setting down his wine glass “Lady Alex’s confession. Several civil witnesses that confirm her story, as well as the testimonies of my men, who detained her”

“What story?” Alura asked.

“During her recruitment path in a distant village, she heard a plea for help. Such plea came from our side of the border, where a mother and her little girl had been ambushed by a group of thieves.” Lex watched Kara’s confused expression, so he clarified “She crossed to save them. It’s clear to me that your… _bravery_ extends generously through your family. Even to those that don’t share your blood.”

“So you intend to punish my sister for saving your people?” Kara said with indignation.

Lex smirked “I have no intention of hurting Lady Alex. Yes, she crossed my border and took sentence in my land, even though that deliverance is only the King’s right to exercise-” 

“Alexander” Alura spoke impatiently “Enough detours. Tell us what you seek so we can resolve this matter”

The men behind Lex seemed more insulted by the interruption than the King himself and they shared a baffled look at the willingness with which he lets the challenges go without repercussion. Lex was holding back his temperament, but to what end?

“What I want…” he stared slowly

“is peace and growth.”

Kara almost jumped off her seat before her brain processed the actual words that had left the King’s mouth. What she had expected him to say was ‘all of your heads neatly arranged on a spike’ so she was surprised, when she turned to Alura she saw the same variety of confusion and hesitation mixed.

“I will pardon your sister and ignore her well-intended but still illicit acts. In exchange, I only want what is beneficial for both of our kingdoms. The peace treaty you signed with my mother was prudent back then, but it’s been fifteen years and innovation is needed.”

“You want to undo the treaty?”

Lex sighed as if Kara’s question was the embodiment of stupidity “I want to replace it. To eliminate the wall between us and allow for instance of cooperation. The reopening of commercial trade, the dissolution of the barrier dividing our people from coexisting and a reinstitution of the bond our families once valued. That is what I want.”

Kara sees Alura’s lips twitch as she meditates about it. Surely her mother has the same bitterness in the back of her throat. The King’s plans definitely can’t be as benevolent as he’s making it sound, there must something behind it that he wants to achieve.

“Is this a proposition or a demand? if I were to refuse this new…alliance. What then?” Alura questions.

“This is an opportunity. I don’t expect you to trust me so freely considering our past, so in an act of good faith, I will release Lady Alex without pursuing any consequence to her offenses. But the extent of my offer goes beyond that. I will trust you with something very precious because, as I said, I wish to relinquish any resentments between our families”

“And what would that be?” Kara asked, unaware of anything that could make them swallow the King’s compromise to peace.

Lex smiled amply “My darling sister” he answered. 

…

“That man is mad, I can’t believe you share a name” Kara complained bitterly.

Alex threw her an offended look and slapped away the hands that had incessantly checked her for any sing of injuries for the last five minutes "I don’t share his name” 

“I wonder if you’ll start balding soon” Kara teased.

“You know what? Maybe I’ll rather stay his captive than deal with you” Alex said as she strode for the exit, or tried because Kara grabbed onto her shoulders almost immediately.

“No!” she shouted, “I’m not letting you out of my sight, ever.”

“Kara, I’m not a child” Alex protested, but felt a wave of comfort. Usually, she was her sister’s keeper, yet every once in awhile Kara reminded her she was the same in return and Alex melted with affection.

“I take it back, don’t leave” Kara pleaded as she dropped her head, Alex felt the weight against the back of her neck “I missed you,” the Princess said.

Alex heard the fear entangled in the words “I missed you too” she turned around and dragged the blonde into a tight hug “But I’m here now and I have no plans of straying again”

“Please don’t.” Kara whispered, “Especially not now, it feels like history is repeating itself.”

Alex leaned back to catch her eye “It’s not. We’ve endured too much at their hands and if Lex attempts anything I will gladly remove his head”

Alura stepped inside the tent just as Alex finished the sentence “Alex, dear, I will advise you not to speak so loudly of regicide given our present location” she said with a big sigh, still she pressed a fleeting hand to her cheek “Thank Rao, you’re safe. Eliza is sick with worry”

Alex winced at the mention her mother, she’ll get scolded back home “I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble, Your Grace. Thank you for coming”

“You’re family, don’t thank me for what is due. Did he treat you well?” 

The redhead nodded “I was treated fairly, nobody harmed me. Although his presence is truly unpleasant, he thinks himself the cleverest man alive.” She said with annoyance.

“What about his sister? He said you two were keeping close company”

Alex furrowed her brows “Lena?” she felt Kara’s anxious energy beside her “yes, they kept us together during the journey here. I thought she’d ride with her brother but he put her in a carriage with me and kept us guarded by his men. She was mostly a quiet company, the girl devours books faster than her food. Why?”

“Did she seemed dangerous?” Alura sat and removed the crown from her head tiredly.

Alex answered despite her confusion “From the little time we coexisted I’ve come to think her brother inherited the worst of the Luthor trades, but one can only be so certain. I’m at a loss, why concern about her?”

“Because the King has decided she’ll be a visitor in our court…indefinitely” Kara explained “to ease our minds of his possible treachery”

“He’s giving his sister as a hostage?” Alex was surprised. She hadn’t seen the siblings interact much, they always talked in close quarters and publicly they acted overly formal. Yet Alex couldn’t understand how Lex would send her sister into a foreign land with what he considered the enemy.

“He assures us he wants peace. However he _offered_ it whilst holding a member of the royal family captive, I’m afraid this is a vile play to achieve his ends. There’s danger whether we agree or reject him” Alura meditated, Lex had allowed them to think it over but only for a few hours. “Better to agree” she said finally.

“Mother…” Kara started.

“If we deny him he will try to take Alex. There will be a fight and many will die right here, maybe all of us. Agreeing will at least let us regroup, getting back to Argo is our priority.”

“The Daximites won’t allow bloodshed” Kara argued “they are here to ensure that”

“Rhea chooses liberally when she wants to help or not,” Alura said with a harsh tone. Kara saw the resentment spark in her features before her mother regained composure. She looked at her daughter “tell me, can I expect of you to keep your sword sheathed when Lex tries to take Alex?”

The Princess swallowed heavily. A dead end. Would she be foolish enough to break the safe passage if Lex touched a single hair in Alex’s body? Ten times yes.

“So we’re making a deal with the King of shadows” Kara despised the idea.

Might as well be shoving our hands into a wolf’s mouth, she thought.

…

Kara played with the blue gemstone that dangled off her neck in a fruitless effort to slow down her rampant thoughts. Never in a million years did she imagine she’d step foot in any vicinity of the Luthor’s, much less that she’d be feasting with them. Sharing bread with the enemy just hours after signing a reconciliatory charter between the two kingdoms that tried to destroy each other when she was eight years old. Would her father frown upon this madness? Had they disrupted his peace in Rao’s light?

She couldn’t help but feel like they had made a mistake. Not that she questioned Alura’s way of ruling, if anyone had a deep desire to cut ties with Umbra that was her mother. So what she was doing now wasn’t capricious and Kara knew in some way it pained her and scared her, perhaps more than it did to Kara herself.

“Dear, you are making a mess of your sleeves” Alura brought her hand to a stop and then smoothed fabric. “Do I have to beg you to wear your crown?” 

Kara smirked “You can try to bribe me”

“I think you’re spoiled enough as it is” Alura joked “are you entering the pony phase again?”

“Oh come on! It was only three ponies and one of them was for Alex!” Kara defended, thinking about Sugarnibble, Cinnamonpie, and Zavier. _Obviously_ , Zavier had been Alex’s, she always liked the boring names.

“You sneaked them into the throne room” Alura accused, her amusement betrayed her and she smiled at the memory.

Kara threw her head back childishly “it was one time, and they were _Royal_ ponies”

“The whole court was so confused, Rao, it could’ve been scandalous if they didn’t find it so adorable” Alura brushed some of her blonde hair from her forehead “I sincerely hope your children won’t be so fixated on doing mischief”

Kara blushed at the mention of children, she barely ever thought about siring an heir or making a family. She was rather focused on keeping safe the one she had left and such affairs came to mind rarely, mostly it was a fleeting thought about if she could ever be the way her parents had been and whether she would ever look at somebody like that. Then the thought disappeared when she remembers her parents hadn’t been happy forever, nor had Alex’s, one way or another that kind of love ended. She was scrambling for what to respond when her aunt stepped into the tent.

“It’s time” Astra announced.

The sky lit bright red like it was on fire, Kara watched the color flood the world sluggishly before the darkness took over. Much smaller lights tried to compensate, torches and bonfires of the camp, but the manmade fire was a poor replacement, vulgar and aggressive where the sun was warm and clean.

“Oh, Rao! Is that a crown I see?”

Kara huffed at Alex’s mockery “Shut up”

“You are truly radiant, Princess” J’onn comments and Kara smiles at him.

“The sun is down. Let’s go” Alura announces and after a few shared looks of encouragement they marched together.

The Princess steeled herself as they approached. The air was hazy with smoke and heavy with the smell of roasted meat, the men that had been previously seated rose from the tables at their sight. Rhea smiled tackily as she came to meet them, the Prince following close behind her to deliver greetings.

Her mother wielded her politeness as usual, whilst the rest of them kept a respectful silence. Kara spoke some grateful comments about Daxam’s hospitality and managed to stay unbothered as the Queen kissed her on the cheeks in a motherly attempt that felt forced. She still remembered how the ire had momentarily invaded Rhea’s face after Kara declined her proposal a few years back. Mon-El had been amicable and humorous, but she’d had no intentions of betrothing Daxam’s Prince, or anyone for that matter.

The King arrived late and Kara tried to mask her unwillingness to meet him as she saw the cockiness he exuded, dapper in silk and grinning widely Lex Luthor strode into the room like he owned the ground everyone was standing upon. Kara thought of a petulant child but the dangerous glint in the King’s eyes reminded her he wasn’t, he was a cunning viper underneath it all.

“Your Majesty. Your Royal Highness.” Lex acknowledged them formally with a small nod “forgive us for the delay, I was just reassuring my sister about this encounter”

Kara’s eyes diverged from the King as he stepped slightly sideways, his broad figure moving to reveal a smaller one behind him and Kara almost spluttered as she refrained a surprised gasp. It’s not what she had expected the King’s sister to look like –perhaps because she hadn’t been expecting anything at all– and it left her quite stupified.

The King clicked her tongue with unsubtle exasperation “pardon, my sister, she’s never met a Kryptonian in her life and shyness gets the best of her occasionally.” He cleared his throat expectantly “Lena?”

Lex guided the girl forward and she went gracefully if ever so tensely to meet the royals. Her eyes came up briefly but she seemed to regret it, she looked away as she committed to a deep bow. Kara was further stunned, she had expected the same disdain that dripped from Lex.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Princess” Alura greeted cordially.

Kara wanted to say something but the words got stuck on her throat, the Princess shared a short smile with Alura before she switched her attention to the rest of them. The blonde found herself staring at the shinning green of her eyes, like a forest was trying to swallow her whole. Alex nudges her and Kara startled momentarily before she bent into a courtesy.

“Well, I think the feast has been on hold up for long enough” Rhea announced disrupting the awkward exchange “Let’s bring in the wine, surely this is a perfect moment to toast for the rebirth of an alliance between Krypton and Umbra.”

“Surely” Alura muttered, not at all convinced.

The toast went decently even if the kindheartedness of the words sounded insincere form both sides and the Daximite wine was sickly sweet. Soon the food was called in and everyone sat, to their relief Rhea had the foresight to prepare separate tables so at least they could eat in relative peace.

“She’s not going to disappear, you know?” Alex commented when she realized her sister kept looking at the Luthor table.

Kara almost dropped her fork in embarrassment “I- you didn’t tell me she was so…so…”

Alex smirked “So God damn pretty? I reckoned it wasn’t a priority. Why? You fancy her?”

The blonde gulped more wine and gave her a scandalized glance “Alex!”

“I understand, dear sister” she brings an arm around Kara’s shoulders and whispers with complicity “Defiling your enemy’s sister in revenge, such a strategic move”

Kara smacks her arm “I hate you sometimes.”

“No, you don’t.” Alex says simply before adding in a warning tone “make sure you remember that she _is_ your enemy’s sister”

“I’m not forgetting.” She says, burying her curiosity. Family, that’s where her sole attention should be. Her expression hardens as she watches Lex whisper something into his sister’s ear, to her judgment any resemblance of trust ought to be revoked if you're dealing with a Luthor.

The feast goes finely, or as finely as it could go. There's easy chat and even some laughter, Kara is quite surprised with how the evening is going, the Daximites act friendly with both groups and it’s effectively breaking the tension. At some point a singer starts playing the harp and a chorus of voices surge as they recognize the ballad, it’s almost pleasant: the sifting glow of the fire, the clangor of pewter plates and cups, and the low mutter of various cheery conversations. That is until another ballad starts, The King rises from his seat and everyone goes quiet.

After shortening the distance with a calm stride Lex stops before The Queen and presents a hand “May I be honored with a dance, Your Grace?”

Kara watches closely as Alura takes the offer politely, she wonders which one of them is trying the hardest to hide their disdain. Just moments later Rhea is escorted by her son and several couples of maidens and soldiers mix in as well. 

Alex pokes her “You should ask the Princess for a dance”

The blonde lifts the close eye she’d kept on the dancing Royals and sneaks a glance at the Princess, surprised none of his brother’s cronies had requested a dance with her and don’t seem interested in doing so.

“me? why?” Kara babbles back.

Her sister snorts “Kara, she’s riding home with us tomorrow, show some courtesy.”

a beat and then more words are spilled.

“And because she has been staring at you”

“What?” Kara whips her head and catches the Princess eyeing her before she tries to deflect by staring at her wine cup. “Oh…”

Lena sees her coming but still startles when Kara stops before her. The Kryptonian can feel the looks of the men on the table, disapproving and aggressive, yet her attention remains with the Princess. For a second she forgets why she walked here before executing a short bowing motion

“A dance?” she asks and immediately feels like she’s made a mistake. “Your Highness” she adds in hopes she isn’t sounding disrespectful.

Fortunately, the Princess doesn’t seem to think so because she nods and when Kara offers a hand she takes it. They take a central spot among the dancing couples as the song blends into another, to her left Mon-El requests a dance with Alura and she seems grateful to leave Lex to Rhea, The King spares them an expressionless glance.

Kara is brought back from the distracting exchange and finds a coy Lena awaiting.

“Sorry” she mumbles before laying one hand on the Princess's waist carefully.

Lena bites her lip nervously “it’s alright” she says, gripping onto a strong shoulder “I must warn you, I’m not much of a dancer”

Kara can’t help the smile that appears on her face at the girl’s bashfulness “that’s perfect, I was afraid I’d make a fool of myself out here” she’s rewarded with laughter and soon enough they settle into a slow step.

“Not many dances in Umbra?”

Lena’s face goes blank as if she’s reminded of something for a moment before she answers amicably “I'm not usually in attendance”

The blonde tilts her head, a little taken back “Really?” it’s unimaginable to her for someone of Lena’s status and upbringing, she wants to question further but then the girl’s attention goes to her brother, as the King leaves to retake his place at the table he gives Lena a murky stare. He’s quick to restructure his expression as soon as he notices Kara’s scrutiny, yet not quick enough, and now she’s not sure Lena’s lack of dance experience is her choice.

With a mind of her own, the hand that’s perched in the Princesses waist tightens “Well, let me try and make it worth your while then”

As if on cue the band decides to change songs into a lively rendition of ‘the lover’s misdemeanor’ and Kara leads enthusiastically, giving Lena a little twirl that has her giggling, forgetting about her previous apprehension as she hears the Kryptonian break into song.

_The lover’s misdemeanor was to love her hard and swift_

_Under green grass and weighty wind, an appealing awful sin_

Behind them, the tables broke into song as well, and Kara sees Alex to her right dragging Lucy for a dance as well, some other knights rise form their tables but Kara grounds herself in the glimmering green that’s piercing her. Lena follows her theatrics joyously and Kara is happy to oblige her, disregarding decorum –the King must be watching them but she shrugs the worries off- willing to make good on her promise. She makes an exaggerated turn and then lifts Lena into a brief carry, the girl is a fit of laughter at this point and sags against Kara's hold without a care. 

_Yes, the honor misbehaves_

_But there’s nothing sweeter than love made to last a whim._

When the song ends there’s cheering, maybe for the bards or maybe for the dancers, Kara doesn’t know. She gives the slightly breathless Luthor a wide smile, drowning the surrounding sounds and tries not to sound too hopeful when she speaks.

“So, Your Highness, would you say I was worth your while?”

Lena looks up to her “certainly, you are” she says catching her breath.

“I don’t know what you were talking about earlier, you’re a great dancer” Kara says honestly and has the girl in front of her blushing, perhaps just realizing she's danced in front of people.

Unfortunately, she’s interrupted by Mon-El’s request for a dance, Lena wriggles between people and back to her table in the blink of an eye. Kara sees her reappear back at her chair as Daxam’s Prince moves them around, Lex doesn’t even acknowledge his sister as she sits beside him. She endures the next couple of minutes of relentless flattery and then leaves with a short courtesy, unable to remember a single word he said or what she absently responded.

Alex returns a couple of minutes later, flopping heavily unto her seat “How did it go, Princess? Do we have to watch out for the little Luthor’s treachery?” 

“She’s –“ Kara doesn’t find proper wording to explain. Lena is sweet –she wants to say- Lena is a sweet girl with green eyes that squint at the ends when she laughs and makes kindness drip out of her easy. Alex gives her a questioning look, worry starting to blend into her face and Kara pushes the softness out.

“She’s a Luthor.” She grips her cup too tightly “watching out is a must” 

Her sister gives her an odd stare but nods, Kara hopes her discomfort isn’t displaying too loudly –although she knows for a fact Alex can she through her every time- hopes nobody notices her swallowing a mouthful of wine and forcing herself to remember they’re sitting in different sides of the room for a reason. A flower might smell sweet to disguise all the poison underneath, Kara decides, ignoring how internally the thought doesn’t fit as smoothly as she’d want it to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my last hurrah for the year. Good wishes to all you lovely humans.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: complaining about my shitty president  
> orange toupee: starts WW III  
> me: Ight, Imma head out

Alura frowns at her when she tells her about wanting to ride at the convoy’s rear. She says is better like that, to make sure they aren’t being followed, argues is about her peace of mind. The Queen doesn’t like the idea, but Kara is unrelenting about it and when Astra offers to ride with her she allows it.

It’s not like she’s trying to avoid Lena, it’s just that she needs to make sure there’s no diabolical plan to slaughter them once their backs are turned. Besides, there’s not much to avoid in the first place, since the Princess only comes out of her carriage a handful of times during the trip, at the utmost necessary moments. Even so, Kara had taken one look at her before their departure and felt something strange coiling up in her chest, then immediately requested to ride 40 yards behind the convoy.

“What’s your burden, little one?” Astra asks the noon of the second day after it becomes painfully apparent that her niece is not in her normal state of mind.

“You know what” she answers, shifting uncomfortably on her saddle “this whole thing feels wrong, we shouldn’t be dealing with them at all.”

Astra hums in agreement, eying the sun between the tree branches with a calm demeanor Kara expects to obtain someday. Having heard the tales she still can’t believe that at some point Astra had been just as impetuous as her, brazen and rebellious enough to lead an uprising that divided Krypton, that divided their family.

“Rao has carved this path for us,” her aunt says “oftentimes is not comfortable, but is still ours to travel as we wish”

Kara struggles with that notion. She respects their God, she fears him and loves him, still sometimes she questions how choices are made. Why would a Rao give and take so arbitrarily?

“I would enjoy my path a lot more without Luthors involved”

Astra levels her eye “what are you afraid of, child?”

Kara groans, she’s twenty three and nearing coronation but Astra still calls her child and little one. At times like this, she wishes she’d drop the cutesy connotations, although if she truly did Kara knows she’d miss it.

The Princess tightens the hold on her reins “We haven’t allowed Umbranians passage for years, and now we are bringing one into our lands. A member of the Royal family. The last time-“she has to stop the sentence and clear her throat “The last time we let a Luthor walk among us it only awoke misery and death”

Astra guided her horse until she could reach her niece's shoulder with a firm grip “We are together now. Nothing will break us, nothing will harm us. Because we are together.” 

Kara wanted to argue. They weren’t together. Her father was gone, uncle Jor-El was gone and Kal-El was absent –not that she blamed him for it. She didn’t felt like they were together, much less stronger for it, she felt like they were scattered between this world and the next.

Regardless, she kept quiet and squeezed her aunt’s hand. They were as together as they can be and that will have to be enough because Kara is not going to let her family be torn anymore.

…

“Your mother gets grumpy when you don’t show up for dinner”

“I’m just keeping watch” Kara answered without turning.

She knows Alex’s face is infuriatingly smug just by her tone “You know, I thought after being abducted by our sworn enemy I’d get a little more love from my sister. Instead, you want to ride far back and squint at trees as if they might stab you”

Kara glares over her shoulders “you don’t know if Lex sent-“

“Kara! For Rao’s sake, we’re two days ahead of them. They aren’t following us” Alex says as she snatches the bow from Kara’s hands “standing here with a bow when you can’t even see ten steps forward is just uncalled for. Not to mention you’re a shit shot” she digs and Kara pulls her offended face.

Alex pats her back in consolation “I’ll give you more lessons back home”

Kara shoves her, just a tiny bit, before looping an arm over her shoulders to bring her closer. Alex lets her, listening to the cicadas that fill the woods, then she looks up to the thoughtful Princess.

“Do you want to tell me what this is really about?” She watches Kara’s jaw move in that way it does when she’s uptight.

“I don’t know” Kara mutters, and she really doesn’t but with Alex here is easier to try and understand “There’s just this…thing. Like just a sensation that we are so close to danger, I haven’t felt that since the war. It was in everything, Alex, and I think is coming back”

“I want to keep you safe, keep everybody safe. I wasn’t able to back then but now it’s my duty and I can’t fail.”

Alex feels her heartache “It wasn’t your fault” she has a vivid memory of a small blonde girl with tear tracks blunt as rivers, saying goodbye without really knowing it’d be forever “You were a child. I was a child. You failed nobody, Kara”

It doesn’t feel like it, she thinks. Overall, it’s really stupid and she’s aware of it, knows she was too young to do anything about it. Still, she remembers the silence afterward, the void and how Alura hadn’t been able to look at her for days because she reminded her too much of her husband. And she gets it now, that Alura was grieving, but it had felt like she was guilty of something.

“But I’m not a kid anymore,” she says austerely, mostly to herself “this time I have to make sure we’re okay.”

“Have you considered the remote possibility that this is not all on you?” it’s something she’s been trying to drill into the blonde’s mind for years “You have me, Alura and Astra, I bet even Winn will raise a sword if you ask him.”

“He can’t hold it upright”

Alex nods, seeing the smallest of smiles in Kara’s lips “He can’t but he’d try for you. For us.” She grabs her sister’s face and tries to make her believe by sheer will “Don’t feel alone, because you aren’t. It isn’t you against the world, we have each other’s backs and that’s how we’ll be safe, alright?”

“Alright” Kara says, cheeks puffing against Alex’s palms. Her worries aren’t gone but Alex could say almost anything and she’d trust her, so she doesn’t fight her when she gets dragged out of the forest and into the camping space.

Alura kisses her cheek and Astra hands her a plate with warm food. She sits with Lucy and Alex, spends several minutes being teased about her moodiness and then rewarded with some ale they probably snuck from the last village they stopped at. Eventually, they get her to laugh, to joke back, and everything seems right with the world.

That is until Princess Lena steps out of her carriage and Kara’s eyes drift to her like a moth towards the light. There’s that thing waking up in her chest again that she just wants to beat it back into submission so that it may lay dormant and leave her alone. Lena watches her too and seems a tad surprised, Kara wishes she had an idea of what her face is doing right now. She burrows herself back in her ale and catches out of the corner of her eye how Lena grabs the food offered by J’onn before ducking back into the carriage.

…

It takes them two more days to get back to Argo, thanks to the misfortunate appearance of a storm that forces them to miss a whole day of travel. When Kara finally leaps down her horse she’s sore and her boots are a muddy mess she doesn’t want to deal with, she pats her horse lovingly and smiles when it huffs at her.

“Yes, you’re tired, I know” She coos and hands the reigns off to the stable boy “I’ll be back tomorrow to give you some carrots. Feed him well tonight, Mika”

“Yes, Your Highness”

Alex laughs as she leaves her horse as well “You’re walking funny, want a little help there, mate?”

“I just endured a week of straight riding to get you back, don’t be a jerk” She says rubbing her shoulder.

“And you urgently need to take a bath, darling” Alura sticks her head out of the carriage.

Kara rolls her eyes but goes to help her “I’d rather that than travel in a box for miles on end. My appreciation for my sanity far outweighs my vanity”

“Still, clean up for dinner. If only for the sake of our guest” Alura states, turning to the other carriage. Immediately, Kara feels a strong incline for bathing because Lena Luthor just steps out after four days of restless travel looking miraculously spotless, and in contrast, she feels like a pile of dirt.

Alura is already walking calmly towards the girl, Kara busies herself moving their luggage with the help of their staff. They resist at first given she’s the Princess, but inevitably they welcome her help. She always helps, the eavesdropping is only a bonus this time.

“… I hope you can excuse us, we’re worn out from the road and would sure love to show you around but it’s almost nightfall”

Lena shakes her head “it’s alright, Your Grace. I’m tired as well”

“Of course, please consider joining us for dinner tonight, it would be a delight to have you there” Alura offers kindly “unless you are too tired, we’ll send food to your room if you’d like that”

“You’d want me at your table?” Lena asks with confusion.

“You’re our guest, Princess, it would be an honor to dine with you” the sincerity in the words causes the girl to gawk for a second but Alura is already guiding her forward gently “Lucy will escort you to your room. We’ve provided some maids for you and I hope they are of your liking”

Kara watches her go inside, whatever Umbra looks like is probably not like this if judged by the awe in her face. Then Alura is back at her side and Kara gives her an innocent look as if she hadn’t been spying.

“Bathe,” the Queen says with finality as she walks inside “and don’t be late to dinner”

Kara bickers under her breath and spends a few more minutes helping with the heavy arks before she heads to her quarters, muddy boots in hand to keep the floors clean. She makes a quick stop by the kitchen and steals a piece of cherry pie from the cooks, stuffing it in her mouth with tremendous pleasure as she climbs the broad staircase to the left wing.

The black cat she named Steaky is waiting for her at the top and Kara makes sure to give him a good rub between the ears before continuing down the hall. The third floor of the castle’s keep had a dozen rooms fully equipped at all times in case they had honorable guests, usually, there were only four room’s occupied –Alex’s, Astra’s, Kara’s and Eliza’s- her mother slept on the Royal Chamber in the fourth floor, but Kara saw a fifth room open and almost tripped.

She knew Lena would be in the Castle but she didn’t expect her to be two doors away, keeping your enemies close was never something Kara thought reasonable, she was much more inclined for a 'keep your enemies as far away as possible _'_ kind of strategy.

Alex gave her an exasperated look when she asked: “Did you expected her to sleep in the stables?”

Kara narrowed her eyes “You’re annoying and- Oh! Hi Eliza!” she exclaimed as she spotted the woman coming through the hall and turned smugly to her sister “Alex is back, did you see her already? She’s so eager to see you! I’ll give you two some space”

Alex gave several angry gestures quietly but Kara walked away and the first words of Eliza’s ‘you are so reckless’ monologue amused her, so much in fact, that she didn’t notice the person in front of her until she ran right into them.

“Forgive me, Your Highness” Lena said coyly.

“Please, call me Kara. Most people around here do anyway unless we’re in some formal affair”

The offer makes Lena shift nervously “Yes, Your Highn- Kara. You may call me Lena as well”

“Did you need anything? you ran out of there pretty fast” Kara signals to the room.

“oh- I was just… I wanted to clean up but the maids said you didn’t have tubs here” Lena said. “And I didn’t mean to run, back home I only had one maid and having four is kind of overwhelming”

Kara laughs “Yeah, we don’t need that many maids but my mom likes to give the local girls good jobs” Lena nodded at the explanation “we have a bathing chamber below”

“A bathing chamber?”

“it’s just easier than have the girls bring buckets of water up here and if you ask me, quite more pleasant, there’s hot water running through so it doesn’t get cold or anything”

Lena looked impressed “I’ve never seen that”

Kara shrugged “it’s a Kryptonian thing, it requires quite a bit of maintenance but we like it.” Lena nods again and the blonde can sense her insecurity, the uneasiness of being a stranger in a totally different place. “I could… take you. I mean, I have to bathe as well so,”

The proposition hangs in the air for a moment, whilst Lena processes and Kara tries to understand where it even came from. _Rao, what happened to keep your enemies away, you witless sack of potatoes_ , her brain shouts.

“Would you be so kind?” Lena asks in the littlest of voices.

Her brain is majorly enraged at the words that leave her mouth “Of course”

They separate briefly to grab their change of clothes, Kara returns to Lena’s door still slightly out of it.

“But m’lady we should accompany you” One of the maids exclaims “you don’t know the castle well”

“And we ought to help you dress” another one pleads.

Kara clears her throat “I’m accompanying the Princess, she won’t get lost”

The four girls look her way and it’s clear they are newcomers, the usual maids would make some teasing remark, far too comfortable making fun of her at this point. Instead these four squeak in surprise and bow quickly at the sight of the Princess leaning against the door, Alura must have hired them just to tend to Lena.

She wants to laugh “I’ll bring her back to you. Unless you want company?” Lena shakes her head quickly at the question. Kara steps aside to let the Princess out and gives the girls a small wave, closes the door and hears them giggling inside. Lena gives her an amused look and she almost blushes as she scratches the back of her neck.

“New maids,” she says with a dismissive hand “most of the old ones are already sick of me” 

The Luthor lifts a brow “I find that hard to believe”

Kara blocks her bodily response to that comment. She leads the Princess through the castle keep, pointing randomly to share some facts about the structure or the paintings or the ledge of that window towards witch she holds a wholehearted grudge for giving her that scar over her brow, anything to fill the silence. Lena nods in interest and follows her along, trying to hide her growing smile as Kara walks into a sculpture in the midst of her rambling about Gerg-El the second and his predilection for five-level chandeliers.

Eventually, they get to the ground floor and to the baths. Lena stops in her tracks as she takes in the room, it’s ample space and Lena is sure she’s visited lords of Umbra whose halls were smaller and certainty less beautiful. The whole place looks like it’s been carved out of sleek white stone, above there’s a dormer that lets in the natural light of the receding sun as it cascades down to reflect onto the steaming circular bathing space.

To her left, Kara speaks “That’s the face everybody makes when they see it for the first time”

“It’s just… how do you even build this?” Lena says in disbelief.

“Good Rao, I don’t know, it’s been here for centuries. Is so old we have no idea how the first Kryptonians built it, I mean there’s some speculation but I just think they had _Kyn v’ot ehlo_ ” she explains as she drops her things in a nearby ledge.

“they had what?”

Kara hurls around “oh, sorry. It’s old Kryptonese, means gift of the stars” she explains quickly “The whole thing must sound so fanciful to you ”

She says jokily, unfastening the cords of her leather vest and throwing it carelessly “I mean, it’s folklore at this point even for us. Kind of a letdown if I’m being honest, it was my dream as a kid” the white shirt goes past her shoulders and off her head, she groans as she rolls her shoulders back thinking about how desperately she needs that hot water to work her aching muscles.

“But those kinds of dreams never last, am I right?” she says with a chuckle and faces Lena to seek some confirmation.

For a second Kara doesn’t know what’s going on, as she’s stared at intensely by the woman in front of her. Has she said something wrong? Is this the part where she gets stabbed by a Luthor and dies? In the bath! What a particularly underwhelming demise. That is until she notices the blush spreading over pale skin and the way Lena’s eyes rank her over to stop pointedly at her torso.

Fuck.

Kara reaches back for her shirt and tries to cover her nakedness. “Forgive me, I-I forgot you’re not…familiar with this” she laughs awkwardly “I mean, we wash together all the time here but that’s probably really weird for you”

Lena wakes from her haze and drags her eyes back up to the Princesses’ face, swallowing around the knot in her throat. She tries to correct her embarrassing expression by tilting her chin and offering a cordial smile “Not a common practice in Umbra”

“I had no intention of upsetting you, Princess.” Kara says, hurriedly trying to collect her things to walk away from the mortifying situation “Please, excuse this indiscretion. I’ll leave you to-“

“No” Lena jumps in but the blonde can tell she’s thinking hard for a reply “Kara, I’m going to be staying for a while and I should get used to things”

“You don’t have to if it disturbs your privacy. I can get you a tub for your room”

The kindness makes Lena relax “Let me try it first. If I don’t like it then you can get me a tub”

Kara nodded with reluctance, it wasn’t strange to her but she’d grown up with it, doing it before she could even stand. Either Alura or Zor-EL would hold her up whilst bathing, sometimes Kal-El was around or Astra when she wasn’t fighting with her sister.

Now it was mostly Alex who came whit her after training sessions or when the girl went on some long recruitment voyage and Kara wanted to be close. In those cases, Alex would call her a baby and splash her with water, but eventually would give in and let Kara wash her hair.

“Kara?” the call snapped her out of her thoughts “would you mind?” Lena said as she turned around “I can’t get the laces”

The blond moves promptly, dropping her clothes to come to her aid. She made quick work with her fingers, trying not to pull to harshly as she broke through the tight laces of the very fitted dress, she has no idea how Lena endured days in such a constricting thing.

“There, all done”

“Thank you” Lena says gratefully, turning around only to find Kara already pulling down her breaches and underpants.

Whirling back she sucks in a deep breath realizing she’s still a little anxious, the only person that ever saw her naked before was her maid Jess. Or that _one_ other time she doesnt even want to think about. She kicks off her shoes and starts peeling off her dress, still with her back to the Kryptonian. Once she’s out of it there’s only her chemise left, so she makes a slow work of her socks.

“I can still leave” Kara reiterates.

Lena’s fingers tremble at the edge of the fabric before she rips it off quickly, to get it over with. She can’t move though, won’t convince her body to turn around and face the other girl, she feels frozen by some unnatural force keeping her bare feet stuck on the floor.

“Lena” a soft call, a warm hand on her shoulder “are you alright?”

Her tongue is a dead thing in her mouth, unmoving. What would she say? _Yes, I am alright,_ a severe voice echoes in her head. Right, she should say that and she tries but nothing comes.

Kara comes into view, expression bursting with worry “You are crying, what’s wrong? have i done something?”

Lena shrinks in shame, feeling pathetic. This isn’t what she’s supposed to do, yet the situation stirs her deepest insecurities and uncovers wounds she’d forgone healing. “I’m sorry, it’s-“ her voice cracks midway and suddenly she’s being pulled into a hug.

Kara is breathing calming whispers into her hair and pressing tight to her, and Lena thinks perhaps she should feel threatened or uncomfortable but all she’s aware of is warmth. The solid frame of Kara’s body remains somehow lenient, full-on compassionate and it’s so simple to just lean into the girl that smells of damp earth and cherry pie.

“You’re okay,” the blonde says supportively “everything’s okay”

It takes some tender coaxing for Lena to regain a bit of composure, the Kryptonian Princess brushes the tears away and the blue of her eyes chase away the humiliation from her just as quickly as the warmth of her body unfreezes Lena’s. In all honesty, Lena has never in her life been looked at like that.

She breaks free and grabs the blonde girl by the hand to get them to the water, missing Kara’s heat only until they’re descending into the hot spring, and there’s plenty of room –enough for at least two dozen people- but they stay close. Kara follows her lead without a single question, possibly feeling the same unexpected thing blooming between them.

“You were really out there, huh?” Lena says as she lifts her hand to scrub some dirt off Kara’s neck.

Kara chuffs “I’ve looked worst.” Her arm tingles when Lena’s fingers swipe over another spot. “Once I fell off my horse, it had been raining for three days. I got back with the appearance of a swamp monster”

“Sounds about right” Lena says jokingly, already feeling looser from the vapor of the bath.

“I’m going to pretend like I heard nothing”

Lena bites her lip, amused, before Kara signals for her to turn around. When she does the blonde starts undoing the braid that had been keeping her hair together, Lena feels the relief immediately and runs her hands through it.

“Thanks”

Kara feels a shudder run through her at the sight of wavy locks in disarrange, almost chokes when she tries to speak “Your eyes are so green”

“oh- yes, it’s unusual. There’s a lot of blue and grey in the family” Lena retorts, taken back a little since she’s been told multiple times that green is a commoners color in Umbra.

The Kryptonian thinks back to the predominant ice blue of Lex’s irises, she’s been told they match her mother’s, and in all the books she’s read Lionel’s were described as some variation of grey. “I’m not surprised, you inherited the best trades“

There’s a beat of silence before she catches up to how that sounds considering they’re naked and barely a foot away “I mean, that you have a nice anatomy- wait, no. Not anatomy…Rao, of course, you have a perfect anatomy and I’m not saying- you look different, different in a good way, you know? I hadn’t heard from you before this, so I wasn’t expecting it but you’re so…”

She drifts off, _gorgeous_ , she can’t say that. Can she? Will it be weird?

“You’re really sweet.” the Luthor says, giving her the chance to retain some dignity.

Kara nods and offers to wash off Lena’s hair to avoid going back into her ranting. The longer it goes on for, the more surreal the whole thing becomes, if someone told her she’d be here letting Lena Luthor wash the grime off her back she would have punched them.

Still, there’s a certain serenity that manages to make her turn a blind eye for now and save the freaking out for later. They both bask in it, even with the impending knowledge that logically they absolutely shouldn’t, and it sort of feels like they’re in a consensus of overlooking duty just for a moment.

“You two are getting along nicely”

Kara tries not to look like a kid caught stealing a treat, but backs up from Lena’s personal space. The girl only expresses disappointment for a quarter second before nodding cordially towards Alex.

“Hi, Lena” the smugness of her voice is evident as she gets into the water. Kara pushes down her desire to flip her off when she gives an unsubtle wink “forgive my sister, she gets clingy quick” 

Alex has to duck to avoid the projectile soap hurled to her head.

…

Dinner goes in a surprising direction, meaning really well. The conversation isn’t stomped as much as expected, although considering Lena was only six years old the last time their families tried to bring each other to extinction the resentment hasn’t quite extended to her.

Everyone at the table threats Lena with neutrality. Alura, in particular, plays the perfect hosting role as a kind and encouraging Queen and the youngest Luthor looks more comfortable as the night progresses, even Astra, who is plenty hostile outside of their family, gives cordial chatter if ever so sparse. Nobody treats her like a menace and Kara can see how much brighter Lena’s content expression shines in response.

“That was one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time” Lena admits as they reach the door to her room, Kara sees the smallest indication of wetness in her eyes.

“I’m glad, you were lovely company as well”

“Earlier, I was worried about being here and how you’d take it,” Lena says bashfully, brushing some strands of hair behind her ear “You have all been wonderful, I don’t know how to thank you for your considerations”

Kara smiles “it’s our honor, Princess”

Lena tiptoes to kiss her cheek before ducking into her room with quiet ‘goodnight’ and Kara feels rooted to the floor for a moment. Alura passes by her, having exited her sister’s room and heading to her floor, hands clasped in front of her as she walks.

“I do believe I taught my daughter how to knock”

Kara cringes at the dig, giving big steps to catch up with the Queen. “Just… thinking”

Alura hums, starts climbing the stairs with the blonde following behind “Tonight went well, wouldn’t you say so?”

“oh, yes,” Kara says with a nod “it was a very lovely evening. Lena, I mean the Princess, was a delightful guest”

“She’s got charm, not a small feat” her mother gives her fleeting look “considering her nexus to rather unpleasant people”

“right” Kara agrees as they walk down the hall and into the Queen’s bedroom “I don’t think she’s like Lex, she seems so different that I can’t believe they are siblings”

Alura makes a noncommittal sound as she starts to get more comfortable, readying for bed, but Kara wants to push on a certain matter. She leans against the table, distractingly eying the papers on it to look uninterested.

“I spent some time with her, wasn’t as horrible as I anticipated” Alura is out of her dress, putting on her sleep robe, “she told me she only had one maid back home so maybe we could reduce her staff. For her comfort, right?”

“I wouldn’t like to fire the girls, they just started”

“We can find some other jobs for the maids, maybe the kitchens” Kara insists, entertaining herself with the stacks of letters. Recognizing the seals, even if they’ve been broken.

Alura sighs “I need the ears, Kara”

Her attention shifts again “What?”

“I need them to tell me as much about her as possible, have them there to get information”

Kara’s head crocks “You are spying on her?” Alura lifts a brow at the accusation, making her way closer to her.

“I’m staying informed. Just because she looks innocuous doesn’t mean she is, Lex never gives something freely. He does it to get his way”

That makes sense, Kara thinks. Her heart protests though, Lena doesn’t seem like the kind to be plotting against them, but then again, that could be part of the plan. Regardless her insides riot at the idea of putting Lena in the pile with her brother and Kara has to clench her jaw to dissipate the feeling.

“Why are you writing to all these people?” she asks to create a distraction, flicking the envelopes “Hexag? Naltor? What is going on?”

Alura stance tells her enough, Kara drops the letters back in the pile and puts her fisted hands on her hips “You told me you didn’t want to engage in a war, that I was overreacting. Now you’re calling for supporters?”

“Kara” the warning comes out heavy “I’ve made no declarations, I’m merely reaching out in the hopes we are ready to defend ourselves if needed”

“So this is a contingency” Kara’s lips tin out in discontent “one I’m guessing you had no intentions of trusting me with”

“Nothing has been set, Kara. I have to keep this subtle” Alura explains “Maybe Lex isn’t planning anything, in which case I won’t need alliances, but if he is… is best to be as ahead as possible”

Kara crosses her arms “Are we going to have this same discussion once you’re setting a very subtle war council?”

“I am Queen” Alura states, exuding authority even in her sleepwear “whatever I chose to disclose to you is irrelevant. If you want me to trust you stop acting like a child and give me a reason to”

“How about because I am your _daughter_. Is that not good enough? What’s next? You’re going to send me back to Lara? Get rid of me?” Kara spats bitterly.

Alura winces, it’s a reminder she doesn’t like shoved in her face because it always awakes guiltiness in her “Kara, you know that’s not –I love you. I trust you. But you’re young and this requires experience you don’t have”

“well, how do you expect me to learn!”

Kara isn’t usually the type to shout, but the last week has her confused to a whole new level and she’s pretty tired of her mother’s overprotectiveness. Alura might want to keep her safe but all she feels is unwanted like she could get shut out again, alone with the invasive thought that she’s never going to measure up.

“I’m sorry,” Alura says, eyes closed as she considers her mistake “this situation is just-“

“Tough, yes, I know” Kara finishes for her “but I don’t want to be ignorant to everything”

Alura nods “of course, I was wrong to submit you to that”

“So you’ll stop hiding stuff from me?”

“Yes. I think it’s hard for me to be open with you, I’ve ruled by myself for years, Kara. Trying to keep you safe after your father died was my prerogative and the thing I couldn’t fail at”

The Princess uncrosses her arms “it’s been fifteen years. I can’t be kept in the dark anymore, even if you think things are going to hurt me”

“Okay” Alura agrees “I’ll start briefing you in”

Kara scratches her brow tiredly “thank you, that’s all I’m asking for. I’ll let you sleep”

Her mother stops her from turning away “I’m sorry if I angered you. I worry, that’s all”

“I understand” Kara gives her hand a soft squeeze “do bake me some cookies though”

“Right, still a brat” Alura lets go and Kara starts making her exit “I guess I should, you’re doing a good job figuring Lena out. Do tell me what you find out”

Kara stops in her tracks, she gives a rushed answer before heading out “will do. Goodnight”

She doesn’t voice her humongous preoccupation about not having a single idea of how to figure Lena out, or that strange fluttering feeling they seem to share. _Rao, have mercy,_ she mentally whines as she flops face-first into her pillows. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, I also gagged at this but i don't know how to fix it. 2020 is already a mess so I'm just matching the theme ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took me unreasonably long and i'm sorry

Lena thinks that Krypton is definitely the strangest place she’s ever been to, not that she’s seen much of the world to start with, but still from day one it feels like she’s stepped into some kind of fairy tale. Perhaps the most striking thing about it is that it is so nice, something she would’ve never guessed from the few (very biased) information she’d been given.

Over the years her ears had gotten used to the accusations connected to their neighbor kingdom: Brutes, ruffians, wrenches, among other variants. What she finds instead is kind knights, giggling children and a blue-eyed beauty with calloused hands. She’s confused, and amazed and honestly in trouble because every step she takes gets her more enamored with this foreign land.

Even the sun seems to shine brighter here, bouncing off light like an always present being. A small boy with curly hair runs into her leg in their peruse of a butterfly and trips, his lip starts wobbling with the telltale sign of oncoming crying and Lena doesn’t know what to do. Fortunately, the blonde beside her is already kneeling and picking up the child with ease. 

“Hello, buddy,” Kara says sweetly “sorry we didn’t see you coming, are you hurt?”

His stunned expression is endearing as he stares at the Princess, Kara jostles him a little and gets him to smile, and the interaction does the same for Lena, as her lips inevitably split to form a smile at the softness of it.

“Theo!” a woman races towards them, stopping in her track when she sees Kara “Your Highness, forgive me, I should keep a closer eye on him”

Kara shakes her head “it’s alright. You blink and they’re gone, that’s what my mom has told me anyway”

The woman nods respectfully and when Kara hands him back to his mother Theo squirms. Lena watches sympathetically as the lady sets him on his feet again with a sigh, the boy takes off again unburdened by the encounter.

“Do they know who I am?” Lena asks though she can deduce the answer given nobody has spit on her face yet.

“Only that you’re a guest, the details haven’t been disclosed. Mother is still figuring out how to… _communicate_ our new relationship with your kingdom”

The tentativeness in the blonde’s speech alarms her, it is one thing to arrange between rulers and another to explain it publicly after such deal has been struck. Her presence here could inspire spirits of defiance, she knows her brother would kill those spirits –quite literally- but she doubts that’s Alura’s way.

“Do you do this often?” Lena doesn’t want to sound so skeptical but she has grown with paranoids, Lex doesn’t walk among his people unless it is unavoidable and he always does it with plenty of guards. Kara in turn only has her company, and the surveying eye of a single guard several steps behind them, her stride all confident.

The Princess tilts her head “Aye, I like my country, why should I lock myself in a keep?” she reads Lena’s expression and furthers her explanation “ _if my people find a reason to hurt me, it is because I have failed them_.”

Lena’s eyebrows shot up at the mere insinuation that Kara would surrender herself to her subjects like that.

“My father used to say that. I try to practice it in his memory”

Tactically, Lena finds that a dangerous statement to live by, still she can recognize the power in it. Kara doesn’t want to rule her people, she wants to protect them, and that alone is an unfamiliar concept where she comes from.

“What about you? Your father- he gave you any advice?” Kara asks politely. The ends of her lips betray her and Lena knows there’s an old wound there, did her father the war-crazed maniac of a King had any wisdom to share?

“I don’t remember him much” Lena mends and truly she doesn’t. Lionel Luthor left when she was three years old and at his return, he was basically already dead. She only saw him for five minutes, bloodied and feverish, an image that remained burned vividly into her brain. By the sunrise, he was a corpse despite the healer's efforts.

“Maybe it’s better that way”

Back home she would’ve gotten slapped for that comment, but Kara gives her an understanding look and extends an offer to show her the castle’s library to remove the bitter memory. Lena spins in amazement once they get there, Umbra’s library was extensive but many books were kept only for the King’s access.

She flies around, picking every book that picks her attention and skims through the pages of perfect calligraphy with immense thrill. Kara sits down and watches her go up and down the bookcases with a small pleased smile, lets her roam around for nearly an hour.

“God, sorry, this must be so incredibly boring for you” Lena apologizes, reprimanding herself for acting so rudely.

Kara grins, lifting from her chair “it's fine, that’s how I expect it to go. You can take those with you if you want”

Lena gapes at the small collection she’s carrying “Really?”

“I got a feeling you’ll like them,” Kara says as she runs a finger over the spines, reading the names and stopping as she spots a bulky one she knows well “This one was a real nightmare for me”

“Why?” Lena wonders, leveling her head with Kara’s to inspect the item that she was actually most excited to get to.

Kara chuckles “A thousand pages of Kryptonian history is no fun when you’re twelve. It made me snooze, but Astra gave me cookies for every fifty pages so I eventually finished”

Lena feels sheepish, at twelve reading was mostly all she did to pass the time. And at eighteen. And now at twenty one. Holy hell, it’s kind of embarrassing but in all fairness, there were few things she was allowed to do.

“Don’t worry” Kara says, giving her a small nudge “it’s one of the lightest versions and I’ve been told you’re a voracious reader”

The weight of the books in her hands pleases her but it’s the beaming smile on the Princess’s face that has her overjoyed.

“Thank you, Kara”

…

“He will strike as soon as we let them through” Orflaith argues “they will storm in, we know that. It’s better to call for war now, we have his sister as a hostage”

Astra gives a pointed look to the seneschal “Lex wouldn’t give away anything that could be used against him, we kill the girl and it will change nothing”

Kara’s fingers drum against her leg, she isn’t fond of this talk about Lena and execution. Alura seems to pick up on her agitation and is quick to dismiss the idea.

“We won’t kill a girl that has committed no crimes”

“Yet” James adds with a quirk of his brow.

The Queen chooses to ignore him “We’re only opening the trade road in Tal’ash, it’s our most defendable post. If we send containing forces they could hold it easily, even heavily outnumbered, give us enough time to respond if Lex tries to lead an army”

“Only if it came to it, we have the entire west border guarded. Lex can’t mobilize an army of large proportions without being seen” Astra says to back up her twin.

J’onn claps his hands over the table before speaking “I don’t think that’s how Lex would do things anyway. His father failed thanks to the bluntness of his plan, this is a different time and a different King. He won’t be as reckless”

“No, surely this plan will be far more rancid to ensure victory” the expression on James' face is pure spite, Kara has known him since childhood and his temper frizzled at the mere mention of a Luthor so she wasn’t surprised.

“This girl that was sent to us, she must have something to do with it,” he says next “why not put her in the dungeons?”

“Lena is our guest” Kara speaks up, to defend a girl she barely knows “She’s here under the laws of hospitality and protection, and we don’t break our word”

James puffs with irritation “should we keep promises that endanger us? The King of Shadows won't and his sister is of the same stock, we fall for their tricks and were dead. Do you think they would have been as generous if they had your sister?” 

Kara bites her tongue. Thinking about Alex is enough to reduce her buoyancy, knowing if Lex had her in his castle she wouldn’t be sleeping in silk beading or maybe alive at all.

Alura decides to shut down the argument “No harm will come to Lena”

“Your Majesty-“

The Queen lifts a hand to stop him, he closes his mouth quickly “James, I have it in good authority she hasn’t sent or received correspondence. She’s never unguarded or unwatched, if she were to commit the slightest offense I would know. Until then I think it would be best to focus on the immediate threat that is her brother”

And with that, the conversation turns to alliances, resources and defense strategies. Kara stares at James long after, his expression has loosened but his knee bumps up and down. She wonders which one of them is wrong and hopes it’s not her. By the end of the meeting, they have made some progress in deciding their approach to the general situation but there’s no new clarity on the matter, all they can do is wait to see what Lex does first and prepare countermoves.

“Has she really not sent any letters? It’s been a week” Kara asks, once it’s only them left in the room.

“None” Alura informs, lifting from her chair. “The maids haven’t seen her write and the ink we provided for her is still sealed. There’s nothing strange in her belongings either”

Kara tries not to be disturbed by the invasion of privacy, instead tries to come up with something her mother might find useful “Perhaps Lex’s intentions were to make us worry of some inside treat when there is none, to give us a fake target”

Alura doesn’t look too assured “Perhaps. Still, find out what you can”

It doesn’t feel right, she thinks as she makes her way through the halls. For the life of her, she can’t see what she’s being encouraged to, the evil that has to supposedly reside somewhere inside Lena. The girl doesn’t talk much about her family and Kara doesn’t want to push, to be excessively blunt and make the Luthor suspicious.

They spend at least half the day together, somehow making conversation that doesn’t involve the obvious family quarrel that brought them together. But Kara is running out of castle to show Lena, and she’s supposed to be getting information that helps them predict what Lex has in store for Krypton.

Sure, there’s plenty of things she’s learned. Like that Lena’s eyes aren’t the same color all the time, that she likes a hot cup of tea with honey in the afternoon, or that her cheeks blush whenever she gets the smallest of compliments. But that’s not what the council wants to hear about, that’s just her brain logging the most unnecessary things.

“don’t you usually wait until sundown to get broody?” Lucy says once she spots her crossing the bailey.

“Alex, I think I heard a voice but I’m not sure. Did you hear? Like a very tiny being was speaking to me” her sister ignores her, focusing completely on the target ahead.

Lucy gives her a vulgar gesture with her fingers but then bows with intentional mockery “fight me you Royal jerk”

Kara finds it hilarious, it earns her a light punch to the arm “Don’t want to, you got the small fists of doom”

Alex releases the arrow, hits bull’s-eye with the smoothest of motions and only then she talks back “You two are ruining my aiming right here”

“I’d say that’s pretty accurate” Kara counters.

Her sister turns, sizes her up for a moment before smiling cockily “that’s because you, my dear, can’t shoot for shit”

“Stop that, just because you’re better doesn’t mean I can’t shoot”

“crossbows don’t count.” Lucy says and Kara throws her the dirtiest look she can convey.

These two insufferable idiots always team up against her, since they were kids, at a time were Lucy was still taller than her. It gets tiring sometimes, puts her a little too on edge but that’s when they always notice and back off, that’s when Lucy gets her to laugh and Alex offers affection. They know her too well and Kara loves them for it.

Alex brings her in for a side hug and Kara knows she must have felt that thing she always feels when the blonde is straying away into her head. She doesn’t mind that she has to crouch a little to fit into Alex, she never minds.

“Let me have it, I want to be your super skillful archer defender”

Kara snorts at the comment “Alright, defend me from that thing then” she points her finger at Lucy, the brunette flashes her a devilish smile before she launches for her and the blonde squeaks.

…

“Have you been here?” Lena lifts the illustration.

Kara nods “Once or twice”

Lena lets out a small sound of amazement, in Umbra there are no glaciers “how is it?”

“Beautiful. Enough to make you forget you’re freezing”

She hums in response and stares at the drawing, is foolish of her to get so caught up on places she’ll never visit. Then again, what has she been all her life but a foolish girl?

“Yes, definitely pretty” Lena says, closing the book with disappointment. Convincing herself it doesn’t matter is a task she has yet to master and that’s why she continues yearning stupid adventures.

Kara jumps up from her chair then, extends a hand to the brunette, tilts her head adorably at her confusion “Come on, let me show you something better than a dusty library”

The Kryptonian leads her through the halls, Lena follows her quietly, comforted by Kara’s hand on hers. It’s odd but she trusts her more each day, despite the fact she has been indoctrinated to hate her, despite the fact she knows it won’t end well.

“You want a stallion or a mere?” Kara asks when they get to the stables.

Lena hesitates, it’s a rather normal inquiry for someone of her status, nobility and all. But her family isn’t kin on riding, it leaves them too exposed and Lillian had always said it wasn’t proper for a lady.

Kara perceives her vacillation “You can ride with me, it’s not too far. Aoife is well mannered, he’ll like you”

She’s out of her element, so she lets Kara hoist her up and hides her flush when the girl squeezes behind her to fit. Her dress hikes up a little but the guards barely look at her once they head out, and just like that they’re out and about, heading for the woods.

There’s a moment where they pick up the pace and Lena thinks she might just fall off, Kara’s left arm comes to circle her torso and laughs sweetly near her ear. Her heart leaps, she can see the rise and fall of blonde curls when she peaks back.

“Don’t be so stiff, he’s doing all the work you just have to move with him” Kara instructs, giving her a nudge with her hips and when Lena starts doing it she cheers “There you go”

“Sorry, I’m not good at this” Lena apologizes.

“It’s okay” the hand around her lowers, settles against her hip and adds soft pressure “you’re doing very good”

Lena tries not to think too much about the way Kara molds her with her hands, how her body allows it so easily. She wants to be mad at herself about it, but Kara’s aura has proven to be the equivalent of a lullaby that soothes her rampant trepidations.

It only takes ten minutes for the landscape to change after they leave the castle, the trees grow sparser and the vegetation opens up to reveal a clearer path, Kara commands the horse into a quicker skip and the tick leaf coating is left behind.

The clearing exposes a long body of water and behind it, framed by the forest, Lena sees mountains with snowy peaks. The sun shines delicately above it all to reinforce the beauty of it with its gleaming, the air that enters her lugs is scented with soaked wood. 

“I know it’s not a glacier but… well this is the first place where I felt like I was looking at something special” Kara explains, bringing them to a holt “it’s silly but as a kid, it was my first taste of the great outside”

Lena finds Kara’s forearm, the muscle twitches but her eyes are fixed forward “it isn’t silly. It’s heavenly, Kara”

The Princess stays silent for a moment and when Lena twists in the double saddle Kara seems sheepish “um, yes, let me just –help you get down”

Kara maneuvers her gently off the horse and Lena’s attempts to conceal how impressive the display of strength is, apparently failing, because the blonde stops to grin at her and it’s unnervingly charming. They stand by the edge of the lake, watching the fluctuating color as the light hits the surprisingly clear water, Lena can see the fish swimming underneath.

To her left the Kryptonian lets out a big sigh and when Lena sees emotions starting to show up on her features. She keeps quiet, not wanting to disturb her and glances behind them where Aoife is nibbling some pasture with his ears twitching happily.

“He won’t run away” Kara calls back her attention.

“oh, no, I didn’t think he would,” Lena says “I just– you were having a moment so I didn’t want to intrude”

Kara winces “Rao, am I doing the brooding thing again? Forgive me, a bad habit like that should’ve been expunged a while ago”

She disagreed, it was nice seeing emotion spur up so freely coming from a family that condemned it. “What were you thinking about?”

Lena asks without thinking and immediately regrets it, for God's sake could she voice a more intruding question than that? Probably not. Fortunately, her companion doesn’t seem bothered by it, which just serves as a reminder of how far from her country she is.

“I must’ve been two or three, so I shouldn’t remember it really- maybe I just made it up or something, but my dad brought me here” She smiles in a sad kind of way “He put me on his shoulders and it felt like I was looking at the entirety of the known world, you know? It’s such child logic but it was long before I reached Greist or Daxam or anything else, so this was just so _big_ ”

“I told him that and I think he laughed. I can’t remember… what that sounded like, but I’m pretty sure he laughed”

It’s a heartbreaking statement and Lena feels alluded by it as soon as it comes into existence, horror clawing at her just as intensely as it had while she read word by word the recount of the war. No matter how grandly painted, she’d always known her family’s crusade hadn’t been a fair one.

“I’m sorry you lost him, that we took him from you” her intention is good but she expects backlash. They haven’t gone this route, they have been dancing around it and pretending it has no weight but the truth is unavoidable.

Kara lifts a brow “oh, you too?” 

Lena blinks slowly “what?”

“Alex is always telling me how annoying it is when I take the blame for things out of my control” Kara says casually and then pokes her arm “you do that too?”

The Luthor is bewildered, she opts for saying the obvious “We tried to destroy you”

“Really? Were you commanding a war at five?” the tone is sarcastic and Lena listens as the rage builds over it “I know I wanted to. I wished to ride west and put you all through the sword so you could never touch us again.”

Lena feels her heart beating wildly at the admission, as the freight takes over. Deep down she knew Kara hated her, would wipe out her whole bloodline if possible. Honestly, she could not blame her, oftentimes she found herself wishing the same.

“Some days I still feel like that, like-“Kara stops mid-speech and drops to the ground, Lena is alarmed until she catches her eyes again and finds them welling up. There laying in the grass: a broken Princess staring back at her “I don’t know. I don’t know what to do with it”

“You’re allowed to hate us, Kara” she runs her hands through her dress because her palms are clammy “if you want us all dead is alright, no one can hold it against you”

Kara’s brows knit together like Lena said something ludicrous. Lena thinks is the most rational thing she’s said since she got here. The blonde extends a hand up, when Lena grasps it she pulls down softly and the brunette kneels on the grass beside her.

“I don’t hate _you_ ” Kara’s voice is a mere whisper as she brings their joined hands to the middle of her chest “I’ve tried but I don’t. I simply can’t”

Lena feels a tug on her belly, a shortening of her breath. _Deviancy_ , her mother would call it but she is unable to tie anything related to Kara as such, even if it’s something her people conceive unnatural. Even if it’s something she’s never felt with men, a capacity she believed was undeveloped within her.

“Perhaps you ought to try harder, love” she’s shocked at her own stupid words.

Kara smiles though and if Lena didn’t know better she’d think there’s blushing over her cheeks “I commit hard, Lena. I could despise you with passion, but I don’t”

“Okay” she gets lost in the way Kara looks for a minute, how the sun hits her hair in just the perfect way and freckles map over her nose.

“Do you hate me?”

Her answer is instantaneous “No” it doesn’t matter that she’s been groom to do so, instructed to even “You are the loveliest person I’ve ever met”

“Ever?” Kara opens her eyes wide “We need to get you some friends”

She snorts, dear God she’s been doing a lot of that recently “I don’t think they’ll like me, once they hear my name anyway”

The blonde reaches up, pulls a little leaf out of her dark hair and just when Lena thinks she might be able to breathe again the fingers brush tenderly over her jaw. “I think your name is pretty”

“I mean my last name, Kara”

Kara hums lowly, crashing back into reality. Kryptonians are kind and welcoming, but Lena is the daughter of the man responsible for many missing family members and understanding doesn’t always prevail over wrath.

“Might just be stuck with me then”

Lena can’t find an issue with that.

…

The lines don’t look right even after the fifth try, Lena puts down the quill and looks at the paper with disappointment. It’s only one word that’s causing her trouble, making her start all over again to ensure the piece is correct.

She goes back to the heavy book, her calligraphy looks sloppy in comparison and her grammar may be turning the simple message into an indecipherable mess, Lena is starting to think this isn’t a good idea when she hears the knock.

Her eyebrows rise in surprise before she disciplines her body into a bow “Your Grace”

“Good evening, Lena,” Alura says kindly “could I have a word with you before dinner?”

“Of course, Your Grace”

Lena moves aside to allow the woman entrance, already nervous, Alura has been cordial towards her since the start but this is the first time she has requested a private discussion. She’s suddenly hyperaware of the mess on her table, the papers spread over the surface denoting untidiness.

Alura seems to pay them no mind “So, how have you been feeling?”

“How have I-“Lena stumbles in her wording, it’s not what she expected to be asked “good, I- you have made me feel very welcomed, I am incredibly grateful for your hospitality”

“I’m very happy to hear that, I was afraid you might be feeling lonely. Are those for your family? I can have them deliver”

Lena follows Alura’s fingers. Crap, she did notice.

“oh no, those aren’t… God, I was hoping not to make a fool of myself so quickly” she fights her impulse to hide “I was trying to write something in Kryptonese, but I must be butchering it”

“May I?” Lena gives her a sharp nod and Alura smiles, grabs the parchments to inspect her work.

She nibbles her lip as she waits, the Queen stares at it for a minute as if figuring it out and then expels a soft sound that Lena hopes is positive.

Alura glances back form the paper “I’m impressed”

“You don’t have to lie”

“I’m not lying, it is a thank you note right?” Alura presses “it reads quite nicely, except… I mean its outdated speech. Overly formal, old Kryptonese.”

“Oh?”

“But I’m sure the recipient will be pleased regardless” the knowing look on the woman’s face makes Lena fidgety “I’m glad you were able to find a friend”

“It’s for Kara” she says shyly “she has been very kind to me as well, I wanted to show her my appreciation”

Alura reviews the words again, then picks up the quill and writes below Lena’s shaky letters with ease. When she’s done she puts the paper in her hands and Lena looks inquisitively at the added letters.

“You wrote her name the old way, with her title attached” The Queen explains “this way it’s not so…stern, friendlier.”

“Thank you” The Luthor says, already planning on staying awake late, until she can write Kara’s name as elegantly as Alura.

“Lena” her head springs up at that, the Kryptonian’s stance has changed from relaxed to a stiffer one “as you know, in two weeks the commercial trade between our lands and yours will be restored. After fifteen years of it being strictly forbidden, our people will once again coexist. I must admit I am not in the least reassured of Umbra’s intentions with this new _alliance_ ”

She bids herself to silence, waiting to see if this is it, if this is the moment she’ll be finally at the end of the hostility her family name awakes. Lex had warned her about it, ordered her to remain stoic and unmoving ( _if they take you do not run. Do not fight._ ), that is her duty.

Alura, however, doesn’t slap her, doesn’t call her degrading names or drags her out of her room and straight to the executioner. Alura just asks her upfront.

“Can I trust your brother?”

This could be a trap, or at least most certainly a test. Alura sounds sincere like she truly wants to know what her opinion is but there’s also something else, a reading of her reaction and she knows she’s being measured by the Queen. Alura won’t ever trust her brother, this answer is not aimed to change that whatsoever, despite the subject Lena recognizes this question has nothing to do with Lex. It’s about her.

She should lie, as trained. But then again, lately, it’s hard for her to do what she should instead of what she wants.

“No, you can’t”

“How about you? Are you here to do act in his behest?”

Lena mules the question over, her purpose was clear since her parting. Or it had been until she ventured inside Krypton, until she met the very people she was meant to destroy. It is expected of her to be at the service of her country and her family, yet the longer she exists in this side of the border the less she’s inclined to do so. The thought of Kara plagues her mind, if she can spare the girl some pain she will, God knows she’s experienced it unfairly often.

“Rest assured, Your Grace, I am not here to provide my brother any sort of power. I hold no ill intentions towards your family”

Alura seems satisfied “That is good to hear. I can see why my daughter is fond of you. Let’s head down, dinner must be ready”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some revelations will be happening next


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've rewritten this several times and it's still as disappointing as all of my life choices. But enjoy? i guess

The girl’s hands shook with the weight of the bucket, water spilling no matter how hard she tried to keep a steady grip. It would’ve been easier to carry it over her head but her right arm was occupied, keeping a wobbly toddler from stumbling face-first into the dirt.

Ultimately wherever she tried to go she was followed and observed and she was just getting the hang of it, tasks like bringing water had never been so difficult. Still, looking down at the very tiny hand in hers, she had to admit it warmed her heart. Her loneliness had never been so apparent until now when there was someone around all the time.

“We are almost there” she said.

The little girl never complained or talked much yet, though she had heard a couple of freshly acquired words. It was probably her fault, there were not many people around and she had grown accustomed to silence so she was perfectly fine in the quiet. For a moment she wished they were somewhere closer to the capital, so her child could hear the laughter of other children and voices that weren’t hers. But the reclusion offered them safety, she reminded herself, the further from Umbra the better.

Once their small home is in sight she directs a small smile to the little girl “See? Just a little further and we will be there” she can see thin dark hairs clinging to the sweaty forehead and the way the tiny legs are dragging with exhaustion.

She puts down the bucket, her fingers are numb but she pays them no mind, squatting down to face her daughter “come on, I’ll carry you home, _a chuisle mo chorí”_

Her little girl shakes her head stubbornly and makes her smile. For someone who’s barely reaching two years of age she’s awfully spirited, she likes to think that’s her share, that and the eyes. The rest of her face is absent in her progeny, as well as her hair but stature is yet to be determined.

“Don’t be hardheaded, I know you’re tired. The water won’t go anywhere” she argues but the child is already headed for the bucket, her arms are too small to lift the load and the wood is slippery but she tries. Her heart rattles in her chest, a distinct feeling that she gets every time her little one does…well, anything really. 

“You little, rascal” she pulls the child up and wraps her in her arms, the girl whines a little at her frustrated attempts to carry the water.

Her laugh makes the girl pout adorably “I know you want to help, I know” she kisses the rosy cheeks until the angry stare dissolves “but I don’t want my pretty girl all worn out. I’ll come back for the water” she says, tries to shield her baby’s clear eyes form the sun.

“Walk” Mighty Lord, this child is harder to persuade than a stingy merchant.

She starts to consider whether she can somehow carry both when she hears it. Horses, horses a trot. Fuck. Her feet start moving instinctively, her arms cradle her daughter closer.

“Mom?” the little girl is confused but there’s no time to explain. If she runs fast enough they can hide under the bed, raiders don’t care about beds, right?

Except she looks behind her and it’s not a pack of robbers. King’s men, all wearing the colors of Umbra, grey, silver and purple chasing behind her, already too close. In her hurry, she almost trips, where is she running? What can she even do about it?

She’s feet away from the door when a horse cuts her off, the animal sneers as its rider pulls on the reigns and comes to a stop. The man that glares at her grins like seeing her gasping for air is a victory, the sword is sheathed but his hands are equally brutal, she knows this.

 _Lockwood_. He had visited before, a lowlife mercenary turn general looking for a quick fuck. He had said she had talent, paid her double as if he was a generous lord. He returned with the company of some other soldier, claiming to have found the best whore in the Umbranian stygian corner.

The new client had been kinder and she had considered him alluring in a detached kind of way. He called her pretty in a way that sounded sincere, made her forget she was a brothel worker in the middle of a slum and even assured her were he not marry he’d take her for a wife. And off he went, leaving her to fantasize about what could never be.

Months later she would find out her fantasy was a nightmare. Because she was pregnant, and the man hadn’t been just another low-ranking solider.

“Shit! Would you look at that! it _is_ you” Lockwood exclaimed with a tilted head “you whores all look alike, every week someone would come up saying they knew where you had gone”

Her legs felt wobbly, the only thing keeping her upright was the child on her arms. Curled around her and frighten, the little girl took shaky breaths whilst staring at strangers.

“You’re clever, for a brothel wench” the words barely registered but when they did she wanted to slap him. It wasn’t untrue, but she had left that behind the moment she’d found out about her pregnancy. Well, maybe she had been kicked out but still, she had worked hard to get away from that life for her daughter.

“Liberty” the voice came from behind, potent and demanding silence “Let's let her say her piece, hmm?

Lockwood’s smile died but he directed one last look at her, _Slut_ she almost heard him say. Her attention shifted then, to the voice she knew and the face she remembered. Such was her luck, she had to go and fuck a King instead of a stable boy.

His eyes were still cold, grey like wet cavern stone and emotionless. What had she even liked about him that one night so long ago? The pretty words? The caring hands?

He stared at her with boredom now, like an old toy that displeased him by merely existing. Lionel Luthor descended from his horse, still, towered over her as if he hadn’t, and the height only exacerbated the disdain in his eyes. Until he saw the child and something else sparked there, he’d found a new toy.

“You’ve eluded me longer than most” his sudden closeness made her back up “a courageous effort undeniably”

“Why?” she wasn’t asking anything in particular, the inquiries blending in her mind. Why had he slept with her being a King? Why had he chased her out of Umbra? Why did he have any interest in this child, born out of a streetwalker? Why couldn’t he fuck off and leave them alone?

The King’s face remained still “I am-“he took a quick look at the child as if to confirm “her father. Her rightful place is beside me, she is a Luthor”

“She’s half a Luthor” she argued, valiantly despite her amounting fear “The Kingdom won’t-“

“The Kingdom obeys their King” Lockwood injects as much poison as possible into the words “as you should’ve when summoned by him”

She can’t bother to reply to the lackey, instead she pleads to the man in front of her “You have a son, a legitimate son. She is nothing but a mistake to you”

It’s the wrong thing to say, Lionel moves her hand and his men hurry to his wishes. She struggles, the little girl clings to her clothing but it’s futile, in seconds her _a chorí_ has been ripped away from her. She can hear her crying, sobbing and screaming to get back to her but she’s just a child.

“Lionel, please, I love her” she begs “don’t take her away, she’s my daughter. Please, I love her”

A hand closes around her throat, hard like metal. He bares her teeth at her “She is mine”

Then he lets go, her knees hit the ground and she starts screaming “You can’t do this! Lionel! I’ll tell the entire fucking world! Your court and your wife and all your fucking putrid knights! I will fucking tell them all”

Lockwood jumps off the horse and grabs her by the hair “My King?” 

Lionel doesn’t even look back, grabbing his horse by the mane “Burn the house down while you’re at it, Liberty”

She hears the unsheathing of the sword and tries to get up. To get to her child, squirming in the arms of some other buff man as she’s crying for her still. Green eyes, her eyes, looking back at her with terror and tears.

“LENA!” She screamed, the echo of it lost to the woods. 

She wakes up with her heart running, feels disoriented enough to sit up and watch the room to recognize it. Her breathing starts to slow down as she runs a hand over her forehead to wipe away the cold sweat.

Lena never remembers why she wakes exactly, bits and pieces of unsavory events. The clearest thing when she opens her eyes is the gross sensation of fear, something raw and instinctual that spears her in the chest until she’s pulled into consciousness.

With her sleep disturbed she untangles from her sheets and stands by the window, to let the cool air swipe around her damp neck. Over the years it has become a routine to just read and hope morning comes quick, but tonight, after what Alura had said her mind won’t digest any words.

The Queen could’ve proceeded into a heavy interrogation but she didn’t. Lena had promised she wasn’t in allegiance with her brother –and truly she was not tied to Lex’s motives- her role was that of a brainless tool. 

Her hand fisted across the glass surface, the vail was no larger than her finger and still it was the most threatening thing to hold. _Two weeks_ , that was all the time left and the more she delayed it the more her guilt built up, she kept promising just one more day because selfishly she didn’t want it to end.

…

“Your aunt is scary”

Kara nods by her side “I know”

She sort of didn’t. Everyone had this notion of Astra being the unbeatable warrior that could make grown men cry –which she is– but Kara mostly thought of her as her aunt. Hard shell and mushy inside, the kind of woman who had sailed a week straight just to be there for her birth and who cried silently as she watched her twin falling apart after a loss.

But Kara understood how the general could appear daunting, especially now as she terrorized the recruits. They definitely looked positively intimidated as they took turns trying to beat her, in pairs and groups, coming out defeated every round.

“How does she do that?” Lena wasn’t too appreciative of sword fighting, it all always looked the same to her. The competitions her brother organized were dull affairs of men clanking swords together and trying to inflate their egos.

Astra was nothing like them, without spurts of rage and urge of damage. Her hands were agile, her body nimble, calm and collected as she deflected all attacks easily. She didn’t need to roar or make wild swings, there was control in every moment and Lena felt mesmerized.

“I have no bloody idea” Kara said with a laugh “sometimes we tie but I think that’s just her being nice to me”

Lena is impressed and curious “I’ve read that- during the war… they say there wasn’t a sword that could graze her”

Kara leans into her, lowers her voice like she’s relaying a secret “oh I’ve seen the scars. Some of her opponents get lucky but I’ve never seen her lose a fight”

“Never?” the disbelief in her voice was clear.

“Not on single combat. My mom tells me once when I was still a baby, my uncle and my dad tried. She says they came pretty close to beating her, they probably would’ve if she didn’t intervene.”

“Was this-“Lena stopped. It was a stupid question, Kara probably wouldn’t want to talk about her family matters with a Luthor.

The Princess didn’t appear uncomfortable though, as she shifted to face her more fully to give her an assertive gesture, a go-ahead.

Lena twisted her fingers in her lap “Was this after her banishment?”

Kara scrunched her nose “it wasn’t really a banishment. More like self-imposed isolation”, she knew Lena had read about it but the books weren’t always as precise with inner details “My dad wasn’t happy but my mom didn’t want to punish her”

“Because of the uprising?” Lena asked

“Yes” Kara spared a look at her aunt. Alex was talking to her, probably pleading her to be more flexible with the new recruits but Astra just persisted with her serious demeanor.

Many years ago it had been a mayor destabilizer for Krypton. Astra never talked about it and when she did it was referred to as her biggest mistake, to rise against her family without a clear motive, to be the puppet of a movement with hidden intentions. She hadn’t planned for her family to be targeted or for her crusade to turn into a revolt and she had jumped ship as soon as Non’s drive became clear.

“Her husband, I’m sure you’ve heard of him. He wanted to rule, thought the House of El had to be eradicated” Kara had never met him, she was glad she hadn’t “he worked behind her back to get rid of us but Astra found out”

Lena’s hand came to curl at her knee to comfort her, Kara quickly placed hers on top, feeling the soft skin of the girl’s smaller hands. She offered a smile before continuing.

“She killed him” her voice thinned out, her aunt hadn’t married for love but still, hurting one’s spouse was one of the highest grievances under Rao’s light. Astra didn’t regret it, not nearly as much as she regretted putting her twin in danger, her unborn niece in danger. “After that, she ran. I think she felt guilty, unworthy of even having a family”

“Kara…” Lena was lost as to what to say.

“She came back” the Kryptonian assured “half a year later, just an hour before my delivery. Alura screamed at her the entire time for leaving” her chuckle broke the solemn mood “and then she vowed she would never leave us again. _El Mayarah_ ”

Lena blinked slowly as the information sunk in. Hearing it from Kara was different than skimming trough dusty pages, it made the people on the stories sound like real living things instead of names on a book.

“You El’s are out of this world, aren’t you?” She teased and Kara started to redden “seriously, your history has more interesting events in a decade than ours in a century”

“I think we’re a little short of marbles, yes” Kara conceded.

Lena hums, totally aware that she’s staring too deeply into blue eyes. The blonde lifts her chin slightly and she realizes just how close they are now, her breathing enough to disturb the locks that are out of Kara’s half up- half down hairdo.

“You want to go riding today?” Kara asks, distractingly playing with the tips of Lena’s fingers.

“If Aoife doesn’t hate me yet” she responds insecurely, with Kara as her teacher she’s improved but she’s still nowhere near her abilities.

Kara shakes her head with an amused grin “what do you mean? He loves you, when I first got him he tried to throw me off the saddle for weeks”

“Really?”

“Oh yes, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him warm up to someone so quickly. I guess it’s just your natural charm” the blonde teases with an eyebrow wiggle “I’m getting a little jealous”

Lena can’t help but laugh, sliding a hand over Kara’s bicep “No need. I’m not scheming to take your horse, Your Highness”

Kara groans at the use of the title and is about to reply, possibly something humorous by the wickedness of her expression, when Alex interrupts her.

“oy!” her hands are on her hips and she’s clearly exasperated “sorry to get in the middle of- whatever this is. Astra is fucking up the recruits moral, want to… you know?”

The Princess threw her head back in a childish manner, Lena glanced between them in confusion as to what this was about.

“Please, she always lets you win” Alex pleaded “I like this year’s recruits, I don’t want them to quit because Astra likes to play tough guy”

Lucy came up behind her, elbowing the Danvers “you mean you like tall lady over there?”

Kara brought her eyes back down, interest peeked “what? Who?”

“that one, Sam” Lucy points towards a long-haired brunette “your sister’s been drooling over her since we recruited her in Kandor”

“Shut up, Lucy” Alex says, running a hand over her short hair “she just has a lot of potential okay?”

“I bet you’ve been examining her _potential_ very closely” Kara jumped in. Lena was blushing beside her, hearing her talk so freely about such things was making her a little squirmy.

Alex crooned her head, and looked between her and Lena maliciously “ _oh_ you want to go there? I can go there, Kara”

Kara swallowed thickly before replying, untangling herself from the hold of Lena’s hands “I- I didn’t bring my sword”

“I’m sure none of the recruits would mind to borrow you one” Alex discredited her meek excuse “and it could be very instructive to the people watching, right Lena?”

She gaped at Alex, not sure what to respond. Kara perked as if waiting for her answer and Lena felt her mouth drying, as three pairs of eyes laid on her with expectancy. Fundamentally, she should be uninterested in whether the blonde wanted to fight or not, but instead, she was intrigued and slightly excited.

“Uh- if you want to” was all she could mutter.

Kara’s expression lightened “Alright, I guess I can have a quick go at it” She said as she dislodged from their bench on the sideline, her fingers make quick work of the laced front of her doublet and shrug it off. Thankfully the white undershirt is loose enough to allow for the movement she needs, she lays the discarded garment beside Lena. “Riding lessons after?”

The shine of Lena’s black hair under the sun is unreal and her eyes are a little skittish, and even though she wasn’t ready to admit it, Kara had already grasped the reality: that this girl will be her undoing. 

“Yes” Lena says, velvety and husky.

Alex chooses to drag her sister away then, rolling her eyes at how ridiculous the whole thing is. Lucy follows them making a fake gaging sound and Kara flicks a finger to hit her in the ear, Alex has to break them up before they get into a grappling.

“Fuck! The two of you I swear if you don’t stop-“She’s too irritated to finish the threat. A warm hand wraps over her shoulder and suddenly Sam is on her space.

“Hey” Sam’s lips always look so pretty when she talks “I’m afraid the guys from Xion are getting grumpy, they didn’t expect…well, that”

Alex glances in the direction of her recruits, they look butt hurt and she knows Astra is strict when it comes to teaching (unless it’s Kara) but right now she’s not teaching, she’s crushing them instead of guiding them.

“Can I borrow that?” She points to Sam’s longsword, the one she picked up from the armory and gave the woman herself. Just to be nice, of course.

Sam gives it away without a thought “At your service, Sergeant Major”

Alex pivots out of the conversation with a polite nod, hopes her hair and cheeks aren’t the same color “There, so you don’t complain about my swords” she says shoving the handle into Kara’s chest.

Kara scoffs “it’s not my fault! Those are glorified knives”

“We don’t all have arms of steel, Zor-El,” she says, pretty found of her matching shortswords “do your thing”

Her little sister smirks “So defensive, Rao, this Sam chick has you all pent up uh?”

“You little shit” Alex says angrily, wasted words because Kara is already walking away.

Kara feels the swords out, her grip doesn’t feel too odd but the weight is different so she’ll have to compensate with her wrist. Well, she never backs down from a good challenge, even if that challenge is her unusually short-tempered aunt.

A sweaty young boy loses her footing and yields, Kara helps him get up before facing the older woman. Now that she’s closer she can notice there’s something off about her, a discernable worry on her mind that she’s been taking out on the inexperienced recruits.

“No layers, little one?” Astra says with contempt “Are you feeling particularly daring today?”

Oh, yes. Something is wrong for sure because she hasn’t worn layers for sparing with Astra since she was fifteen and this warning feels very aggressive, maybe she should’ve borrowed some protecting gear from the recruits.

“Depends, are you in the mood for cutting up people today?” Kara asks the lifting of a brow is answer enough “ah, I see. You’ve fought with mother”

“I thought you were here to do your heroic presentations, not chat,” Astra says rudely, lips irking into a snarky smile “maybe you’re boosting it up for a certain someone”

Kara decides to ignore the comment “what did she say?” _for you to be mad at everyone_ , She leaves out.

“Nothing deserving of your attention. Should I sheath my sword or…” Astra responds evasively.

The Princess sighs, trying to pry a secret from the General is basically impossible, perhaps she should try the other twin. In the meantime, her focus better stays up to the mark because annoyed Astra can spiral into deadly Astra really fast.

So she builds her guard, sword raised and ready, the gravity of the argument can be determined on whether she bleeds today or not. Astra smiles when her niece stays put, offering her the first move and thus revealing her hesitation.

“Alex…” Lucy whispers, sensing the tension, just like everyone has.

“She won’t hurt her” the redhead assures because she can’t even fathom it happening “She never does”

Astra’s first swing is a wildcard, easily deflectable and nothing but a mocker. Kara steps aside, doesn’t even move her blade at all from her defensive guard, going in boldly is a mistake when it comes to her aunt as proven by several trainees. She won’t make such a futile gambit.

Before long Astra understands that her provocations won’t work, her next strike holds more intention and Kara has to engage her sword to prevent cuts to her sides and shoulder. The quick succession of moves allows her a window to throw her first offensive, a forward trust that Astra swipes away with her blade.

The counteract that follows is dangerously near her chest, making her retrocede a couple of steps. Astra shadows her, goes for a vertical strike that clips the back of her shirt as she turns to avoid it, her footing is unideal and her aunt takes note of that, advancing to trust in an angle that has her arms locking into an awkward bind.

Kara manages to divert the blow and pushes an attack, barely hearing the clanking of metal over her racing heartbeat. When her sword slides down and comes close to slicing fingers, Astra’s eyes harden and the blonde tries not to shrink, but then her aunt breaks through her guard and whirls in a wide flourish.

Ah. Fuck.

The next portion of the fight she spends it in her back foot, constantly retreating from the ruthless assaults. Astra finally gets her on the arm, a hard slap with the flat of her sword, the most basic of warnings but Kara persist, slashes air and then the very end of her blade catches clothe.

The General narrows her eyes, pushes her blade aside and cleanly hits her with the flat of her sword again on both her thigh and forearm. Were the edge alignment right the flesh there would be slashed, instead Kara just feels the blunt hit.

“Yield” Astra demands.

Kara frowns, strikes laterally in hopes to get an opening but Astra manages to slip away. The power behind her next blow is enough to make the Princess gasp and when Astra flings the sword in the direction of her head, Kara is honestly alarmed.

The ultimatum comes again “Yield”

There’s something about Astra’s voice that chills her over, and even though she’s pretty sure this need of control has nothing to do with her it still hurts. Whatever the twins had discussed it’s not a light subject and Kara herself is starting to worry.

Her silence seems to aid Astra’s rage as she hits again, and this time when their swords bind the woman doesn’t relent or allows her to get the upper hand. The General breaks the bind by shoving the pommel of her sword towards Kara’s face, the blonde angles her shoulder upwards to avoid a hit that would surely break her nose.

This is apparently what Astra expected her to do because then she rips the sword that has slacked in her grip in her attempt to protect her face. Just like that, the sword is out of her hand, and there’s a blade by her throat.

“Yield”

Stupidly she wants to keep going, fists bare if she has to. It’s her pride calling at her for a little redemption but she knows she won’t get it, and Astra seems like she needs this win more. So she backs down and faces the recruits that are gaping in awe, claps her hands and smiles.

“And that, fellows, is the ultimate goal that you can set for yourself” she says, feeling the eerie presence of Astra’s eyes on her back “to be half as good as her…and to never get on her bad side, of course”

It’s funny enough to clear the air of rigidity and get some sympathetic laughs. The best she can do right now seaming as she failed to lift anybody’s hopes, she turns to find Astra strangely unhappy with her victory.

“Kara…”

She reclaims the sword “I think you should reserve this posturing for whomever you’re really in animosities with. These people here want to defend our Kingdom, stop punishing them and teach them how”

Kara doesn’t stick around to see the result of her harsh words, heading over to her sister and giving back the borrowed weapon.

“Sorry. I’m afraid moral lifting isn’t my strong suit” she says before bolting out. 

…

Lena stares at the bruising spot in Kara’s arm as she pulls the horse out of the stable by the reigns. The blonde has a vacant expression, hasn’t spoken much since they rejoined after the whole swordfight situation and the weirdness of it all is getting to her.

“We don’t have to go today” she offers.

Kara stops her walking, eyes clearing as she comes out of her mental fog and Lena urges to elaborate, not wanting to sound too condescending.

“If you want to be anywhere else, I mean. You don’t have to take me riding today…if you want to be alone”

The blonde seems conflicted by the statement “I, yes, I want to be alone” Lena gets ready to leave but Kara’s searching look roots her to the ground “I just… don’t want to be alone without you?”

It’s said with surprise, like the Kryptonian herself is unsure of why that is. She’s almost sure she’s overwhelmed and ready to brood but she also wants to be with Lena.

“Kara, you don’t have to”

“Please?”

She is taken back by the plea, is almost as if Kara craves her company in the same way Lena does. There is an insecurity in her voice that Lena eagers to quell, so she nods and the relief on the girl's face is a testament of a good choice.

Kara lets her take the reins this time, remaining quiet all the way to the clearing where she’s been teaching Lena the essentials of horse-riding. Once they are there she tries to get some sense of normality by giving Aoife a fresh apple, watching him eating it in delight.

“I think we can get you to canter this time, he seems in a good mood for that” Kara says, checking the saddle but then her hands get pulled away from the contraption.

“Maybe we could just sit for a while” Lena says hopefully and Kara doesn’t want to resist the soft pull on her wrists so she goes along.

Lena settles the Kryptonian down and then sits close, arraigning her dress skirt mostly out of the way, Kara distracts herself by pulling out some grass. She watches the blonde playing idly and instantly thinks about a younger version of the Princess doing the same thing, both the imaginary one and the present one are adorable.

“I’m sorry”

She frowns at the apology “why?”

Kara scratches the back of her ear “I just wish you hadn’t seen that. It’s usually more fun and less arguing”

“Believe it or not, I have a vast experience on disputes with family members” Lena says with a small shrug “it happens. I’m sure Astra wasn’t trying to be so overbearing”

The blonde sighs “No, I know she wasn’t. Whatever Alura said to her…” there’s a pause before Kara turns to her “sorry you got a lame fight, I wanted to show you my impressive skills but, well, I got crushed”

Lena doesn’t agree, the way the girl had moved was nothing short of astonishing and her eyes had felt branded with the vision of Kara’s body. The thin white fabric had been nothing but a veil, underneath the muscle worked with synchrony Lena would never aspire to have and somehow the blonde had looked gallant even though she’d been losing. 

“Trust me, I am very impressed by your skills” she raises her hand without thinking to rub at the spot she hasn’t been able to stop staring at, the slim red line on the girl’s throat where a sword rested briefly. It’s barely a cut and still, Lena wants to take care of it, has the urge to kiss it even.

Kara sorts “Did we experienced different fights? Because I’m pretty sure I died back there” 

“Considering who you were going against I’d say that was a graceful death”

The Kryptonian flutters her lashes and Lena’s hand gets claimed by reckless need, guided softly from the flawless neck into low blonde curls. She stokes gently and the moan she gets in response is just about the most heavenly sound ever, it plunges into her heart like an arrow but instead of pain, there’s just joy.

Kara curls closer, resting her head on Lena’s shoulder “You make me feel good”

Lena tries not to gasp at the words and when Kara’s nose drags across her naked collarbone she begs for her lugs to work again. She tries not to faint or panic or just descend into the ground and blend in with the grass.

She’s aware they have clashed into a strange dynamic, an intimacy so unadvisable that Lena sometimes wants to take it all back, she wants to reclaim all of the pieces of her heart that have been stolen. But she doesn’t, and in the back of her head, there’s a piercing scream of warning. There will be a price for this, for this quiet moment of feeling wind and sun and lush hair on her fingertips, a time when it will all be lost and they will both be broken by it.

But for now, she plays deaf.

“You make me feel like that too. I don’t think…there’s nobody like you where I’m from” she says, thinking about a younger Lex and the kindness that had died within him “At least not anymore.”

Below, Kara’s squint is one of worry. The blonde never asks and Lena is not the kind to expose insight into her personal relations, nosiness was breed out of her at a young age, but Kara has the strange power of knocking down doors Lena thought were locked to spill hoarded secrets.

“Nobles are all the same. They want power and riches, their lives are pointless beyond that” her experiences with Umbranian ladies and lords had taught her so “and the people, the common herd as my mother calls them, they wouldn’t touch a Luthor with a ten-foot pole. You’re the only person that has liked me in a long time”

“You are different. Here things are different, you care for your people so deeply and-“ Her throat closes for a moment before she can moderately express what it means to her “The world is not so dark around you. I feel like I’m dreaming and when I wake up…is this a dream?”

Kara rips the hand that’s been working her scalp and brings it to her lips, kisses the back of it earnestly like is precious or something. Lena knows is a ridiculous expectation but it feels like she’s cherished.

“It’s not a dream” the blonde assures “but if it were I wouldn’t want to wake, _zrhueiao_ ”

…

_Ten days_. _That should give them enough time_ , Lena thinks as she sets up her table. Two letters, one for Kara and one for Alura. Nothing for Lex, apart from the bitter tears that are currently sliding down her face. She shouldn’t be crying, this is the right thing to do and her time here has stretched to the limit.

It had taken her far too long but there’s no more avoiding it. For a second she considers going to Kara’s room, just down the hall, to have a little more joy before it’s all over. It’s a greedy desire that she shuts down quickly.

She takes the cork out and watches the liquid dance inside.

“See you in hell, big brother” she makes a final toast and gulps it down. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only reason I'm watching Supergirl now is because i feed off of Katie's godly being, other than that the show feels really bland. Also, the William/Kara thing is following the same Mon-El equation were she finds him annoying and mean but then suddenly he's not and now she likes him, not my jam. No hate to the actors or anything, just write her a different boyfriend already


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This unexpected comeback is sponsored by coronavirus, since my college finally got shut down and quarantine started now I have time to write.  
> also, as a warning, there is some sexual assault and parental abuse depicted in this chapter. I know I'm not supposed to sprinkle trauma to make characters interesting but this is just what came out of my head at 3 am.

The guards parted for her promptly, Alura would’ve smiled cordially but in this instance, she was devoid of her usual friendliness, as she was of sleep. To her despair, the affection had multiplied through the castle –to the whole city even– as the restlessness set over, sleep had been elusive.

For the last two days her tasks had been endless and all of them joyless. Inside Eliza Danvers was crushing different leaves, open crystal bottles filled with substances reflected the candlelight a constant shade of warm orange keeping the shadow at bay.

He sister was at the furthest corner, arms crossed and features somber, a quiet sentinel ready to handle whatever threat was imparted on them. Alura neared the bed and placed a hand on the cold forehead of the laying girl. Lena looked ghostly pale and even though the shivers had receded, her breathing was still short.

“Astra, I think you can sit down. It’s very unlikely she’d have the strength to do anything” she said “that is if she wakes up”

The General’s posture didn’t change “Where is Kara?”

“Sparring.” she thought about her daughter, several levels below, furiously beating training targets. Kara had been extremely mad when she had order nobody to enter the room apart from Eliza and Astra, had sat on the hallway for the first day and opted for working herself into exhaustion on the second.

“Is it working?” Alura asked, as calmly as she could.

Eliza walked over “She appears to be improving, but until she wakes there’s nothing certain, Your Grace” the woman tipped the girls chin and inserted the small apparatus she had devised, Alura watched the liquid pour down the girls throat coaxing her to swallow. “It’s a fortune she was brought in so quickly, otherwise I couldn’t have done much to help”

“Thank you, Eliza” Alura knew the woman had been pushing herself every minute of the last two days to keep the younger girl alive, in a situation no other healer could’ve handled.

Eliza smiled sadly “I’m just doing my job. I still don’t understand why she would- she’s just such a sweet girl”

Alura knew why, at least partially. She had been both surprised and unsurprised by Lena’s words on the letter, it had been a clear confirmation that Alexander Luthor was a different person from the youngling she met all those years ago. 

Talking to Astra when she was angry was like speaking to a stone wall, she tried anyway. “You should rest, I can have someone relieve you for the night.”

“Have you slept?” Astra fired back and the silence made her stand more firmly “then I am alright”

Alura hated the pride in her twin’s voice “She’s not going to kill anyone. In case you haven’t realized, the only person we failed at protecting is her”

“This could be part of something-“

She cut the paranoid dialogue short “She’s not working for Lex”

“You can’t possibly know that”

“Sister, efforts of war often have unwilling participants for their endeavors. I thought you of all people could understand that.” Usually, she wouldn’t bring old mistakes into play but right now she needed efficiency and union.

Astra pursed her lips, burned by the reminder but deciding to move past it “Has J’onn been deployed yet?”

Alura nodded “He and Olsen are doing their part. Lieutenant Lane is leaving tomorrow, to survey Tal’ash with her division”

“And if Tal’ash is a smokescreen? What will our youngest and most inexperienced Lieutenant do then? With the better part of our forces stuck in an out of reach settlement?”

“She will do what her Queen has ordered. Lucy may be young but she is perfectly capable in all regards, otherwise, the position wouldn’t be hers” Alura defended, trying to push back the offense of her sister’s defiance “You set ascension for all of our warriors, do you believe her training is incomplete?”

Her sister’s jaw clenched, she evaluated every recruit alongside with J’onn and their standards were by no means low. She had surveyed Lucy since she was fourteen and the girl had quickly proven that size didn’t matter, admittedly the girl could be cocky but she was a prodigious leader.

“No, but she has never experienced war”

The hint of concern on her sister’s eyes made Alura sigh “They were children before and… it is hard but they have grown, sister. As much as we want to protect them, this is what we prepared them for”

Astra’s head bowed down “As you command, my Queen”

Alura smiled at the disgruntled tone and leaned in to swipe the white strand of hair from her sister’s face “You did always hate taking orders from me”

Her twin uncrossed her arms and adopted a more compliant stance “Only when you find the most dispiriting missions to give me”

“it will be fine, _kir’je_ ” the pet name of little sister gains her a huff but she knows Astra likes it, regardless of how much she nags about Alura only being the older twin by six minutes “Sit down, please. Have you had dinner?”

Astra sits and shakes her head, it makes her want to zap her in the head but instead, she kisses the crown of brown hair “I’ll have someone bring you some food. You too, Eliza”

She leaves slightly less exasperated at life, throwing one last glance at the Luthor before heading downstairs. She requests delivery of supper for the physician’s courters and has a rather pleasing conversation with one of the cooks, a lovely woman named M'gann that she has seen her other General flirting with.

Kara is in the upper ward beside the arsenal tower, it seemed like she finally exhausted herself after hours of unloading her anger on things and, unfortunately, people. Alex had tried her best to calm her down but eventually accepted defeat for the night, Alura couldn’t blame her given shutting people out was the worst trade Kara had picked up from her.

Her daughter is slumped over a wooden bench, the sweat has dried but her face is still red because of the strain. Once Alura is close enough for her to notice Kara stands up brusquely, her legs a little shaky but her stance determined.

“Lena?”

“Still out of it but Eliza says she’s better than before”

The blonde fists her hands “Allow me to see her”

It’s said with stony resolution and Alura fears Kara might try to get past the guards again, the only thing that had stopped her the first time was Astra staying put at the door. She doesn’t want to deprive her daughter of anything but she wasn’t sure inviting her to the room was a good idea, vividly remembering how terrified Kara had been seeing Lena unmoving.

Unmoving had been one thing, but the choking sounds and unstoppable shaking that had followed after had been worst and she hadn’t wanted Kara there to witness it. Her daughter had yet to see someone die and Alura, foolishly, hoped to protect her from it a little longer.

“She’s still frail, it would be unwise to put her under any unnecessary stress that might worsen her condition“

Kara’s face loses stillness, a grimace forming “You said she was better, I want to see her”

The Queen remained contemptuous “Once she wakes you will be the first to–“

Kara erupted into a scream “Let me see her!”

Alura blinked rapidly at the fierce expression displayed, neck tendons leaping and teeth bared. Kara had always been a joyous child and rare was the occasion when she lashed out so boldly, even after Zor-El’s death her daughter’s pain had expressed more like a slow drowning than a raging fire.

At her bafflement Kara turned apologetic, her posture becoming less aggressive “I’m sorry, I just– five minutes, alright? Give me five minutes and I won’t bother you about it anymore”

She felt her opposition dwindling at the anguish of her child’s voice, hearing the brokenness in it as the pleading continued, blue eyes already starting to well up.

“Please, mother. I need to see her, I haven’t seen her since…” Kara’s voice faded and fought a sob “I-I can stand outside the room, I won’t get in the way of anything but let me see her, please”

As a Queen, she ought to stay strong but as a mother, she was starting to understand that keeping Kara away was inflicting her pain. Even if Lena died, was it fair to impede one last moment of intimacy between them?

“Change into clean clothes,” Alura told her “then you can come up”

The Princess was gone before the sentence was even finished, Alura shook her head as she watched her sprint and thought about how many times she had chastised running inside the castle. She tried not to worry too much about this new fondness her daughter had never expressed before but all of the indicators were there.

Alura herself had been uninterested in courting until she met her betrothed, Zor-El had been an inevitability at first, but they had turned out to be compatible and soon: in love. After his death, Alura hadn’t focused much on finding Kara a mate and the girl seemed equally uninterested, but as it is the day might have just arrived.

And _of course_ , it had to be Lena Luthor, of all people to ever catch her daughter’s eye. Not that she considered the girl a bad option and Kara’s choice was entirely out of her influence, but it did pose some difficulties given the circumstances. By the time she makes it back, Kara is already planted in front of the door, staring unhappily at the two guards and tapping her foot against the floor impatiently. 

The Queen trusts the paper forward when she gets to her side and Kara’s brows knit together when she grabs it, the dainty writing makes her eyes widen in realization before she throws her mother a betrayed look.

“She left it for you” Alura hadn’t meant to keep it from her but Kara had been frantic for the first three hours and after that duty had prevented the delivery “Read it first, then you can see her”

“Did you read it?” Kara asks, almost in accusation despite the clearly closed envelope.

Alura doesn’t take it to heart “No, it’s for you.”

The blonde breaks the seal with shaky hands and retrieves the letter, Alura knows her thoughts were correct then, knows by the way Kara’s cheeks dampen with tears and her fingers run over the ink with silent adoration.

 _Two half’s of the same heart_ , her husband’s content whispers comes in a memory undamaged by time and Alura has no argument against something so apparent.

…

Lena smiles, she jumps out of bed and runs towards her brother, attaching herself to one of his lanky legs. Lex puts a finger over his lips and Lena quiets her giggle, she doesn’t want Lillian to know they are sneaking into each other’s rooms.

The eighteen year old Prince puts her back to bed, Lena sits with her legs crossed and tries not to bounce with excitement. He finally sits down beside her, letting her cuddle close, and then he opens up the book. The girl listens closely to the story, getting entangled with the adventures described and imagining the strange places the protagonists travel.

It’s the kind of book Lillian has prohibited her from reading, arguing her childish fantasies do not need encouragement but Lex had purchased one, kept it hidden in his room to make sure it wasn’t found. Her brother reads the tale on a low voice and by the end of it, Lena feels warm and ready for bed.

“Another one” she asks despite her sleepiness.

“No,” Lex says with amusement, already pulling the sheets to her chin “Go to sleep, stinky”

Lena flaps her arms “I’m not stinky. You stink, I don’t”

“Hey! I’m the guardian of the book remember? You have to be nice to me” his tone is serious but his lips curl up “besides we don’t want mother to find out”

The girl nods, thinking about how much more irritable the woman had become lately. It was easy for Lena to manage being ignored but now, with Lionel gone, Lillian was even less tolerant of her presence.

“Is father going to be away for long?”

Lex tapped her fingers against the cover of the book, eyes elusive “uh…I don’t think so. He will be back soon. when the fight is over and then you can show him how good you’re getting at chess”

Lena isn’t that happy about it, Lionel spends most of his time on meetings and on the occasions when he wants to spend time with her it feels like he’s surveying her more than anything.

“Why are they fighting?” she asks, confused thoroughly by the supposed rivalry going on.

Her brother scratches the top of his head, upsetting his dark hair into a weird direction “For the glory of our kingdom. Krypton wants to keep us subdued and we can’t allow it” his words sound rehearsed and unsure.

“I thought you had a friend there”

Lex stares absently at her for a moment, the reminder spiking something that hardens his look “Listen to me Lena, Kryptonians aren’t friends. From now on we mustn’t deal with their kind, understood?”

Lena shrinks at the sudden authority, her throat bobbing heavily with unspoken protest. She doesn’t know why but there’s a rising echo on her head, a voice and a face. Blue eyes. Not Lex’s, a warmer blue, shinning under the sun with a smile to pair them. Lena feels like she knows her, like...

The door burst open. Lillian isn’t a threat physically now that she’s older but the knight behind her is. Ben Lockwood has a devilish grin that has always scared her and the strength to drag her without even breaking a sweat. Just like he does now and at this point she doesn’t fight it anymore, in hopes there won’t be bruises after. 

Sometimes this will happen. Lena will say or do something that her mother disapproves of and she will organize one of these impromptu punishments, depending on what it is she might get her favorite books reduced to ashes or a heated scolding in front of the staff, occasionally a slap as well.

So she’s expecting that or maybe more food deprivation, since Lillian is always telling her about how her body is all wrong in all sorts of places, and that is fine. She can handle that kind of thing, now that she’s almost seventeen it doesn’t feel as tormenting as before.

Except it isn’t that normalcy she gets pushed into now. Lockwood shoves her arm forward and she almost loses her footing, what keeps her standing is running into a body. The man gazes down at her and Lena scrambles away at the wolfish features, when his brown eyes rank her over she immediately feels threatened. Her eyes fly to the door, only to find her mother blocking her escape route.

Lillian stare is cold enough to make a shiver run down her spine “You were so exceptionally rude to our guest last night, Lena.”

Her voice returns for a moment “Mother-“

“Why, now you feel the need to apologize, don’t you? _After_ you have tainted our family name with another of your tantrums?” Lena shakes her head at the accusation, she had merely wanted the handsy Lord to back off last night. He had tried to touch her under the table, in a place where she didn’t want to be touched and she had proceeded to call him a variation of delectable insults.

“Fortunately, Lord Edge has decided not to take your offenses to heart in exchange for a little penance form you,” Lillian said with boredom in her tone, then turning to Lockwood “Liberty, please aid the Princess” 

Lena felt rough hands pulling at her clothes, ripping at the seams. She squirmed to get away and was remunerated with a backhanded slap, her lip coming down forcefully against her teeth, the taste of iron slowly growing in her mouth.

The dress pooled at her feet, she tried to hang on to any remaining piece of fabric but Lockwood stripped it all away, her last desperate attempt was clawing at his face and even though the red lines speckled with blood he didn’t stop. He grew angry and Lena prepared to receive another hit, instead, she gets roughly turned around and Liberty’s arm hooks around her neck.

“Don’t worry, he doesn’t want to touch you” he speaks close to her ear, laughs as she fails to break from the hold “No nobleman wants to dishonor themselves by touching a half-bred. He just wants to look”

Lena feels tempted to scream now, her body coiling up in a panic, but one glance at Lillian makes her decide against that. It wouldn’t do anything but give her mother more satisfaction, her struggle dies quickly, the hard hold on her throat choking her and making the edge of her vision blurry. It takes long seconds to regain her breath and that is the opportunity he needs to pull the rest of the clothing off.

Her first instinct was to cover up but as soon as she tries, her arms were brought behind her ungently and she couldn’t twist out of it unless she broke a bone. So she finally goes tensely still, the only fight left was the one against her watering eyes, and shamefully she was losing that one as well.

Morgan Edge's glance made her nauseous, as it slithered over her body like a snake. He has the grossest of smiles on his face, it makes her chest tighten with shame at being exposed and tears are running down now. Lena closes her eyes, tries to escape the moment.

After a long minute the Lord lets out an unimpressed hum like he has been forced into some dull affair, his ego restored “Pretty, I guess” it’s said deceptively and then Lena hears him walk “We will have the next shipment delivered at your wishes, Your Majesty”

“I am happy this negotiation was fructiferous”

“The young Princess, if you haven’t found her a husband yet one of my cousins is-“

Lillian cuts him off “The Kingdom thanks you for your service, Edge”

When she’s finally let free she balls up in the floor, her mouth tingles with the distinctive desire to throw up. Lillian’s feet make an appearance in her field of vision, Lena doesn’t lift her head, her defiance has been annihilated.

“Next time, remember your place, Lena. I don’t have time to deal with your little rebellions” Lillian says and when Lena doesn’t respond she sighs “I’ll send Jessica in. Your brother will return tomorrow, I’d advise you to wear something with a high neck”

She’s left alone after that, with a bruised throat and a shredded dignity. Jess puts something over her shoulders, soft and silky, Lena clings on to it. She rises and asks the maid for a bath, Jess nods diligently before leaving, once the girl is away Lena finally vomits her breakfast onto the carpet.

“Lena”

She wipes her tears briskly and turns “Jess, can you-“

It’s not Jess. Is that face again, who is she? The blonde looks at her with concern and extends a hand, Lena wants to grab it, and some primal part of her tells her is safety but she can’t remember why. Before she can figure it out the girl is gone, someone else replacing her to stand in front of her.

“They found her in the outskirts of Gaeling” The King says “We leave tomorrow, that girl turned out to be just the thing we needed to move forward”

Lena hates the use of ‘we’. Hates to be a pawn on something she never had a choosing on, as if her brother didn’t keep her in the dark about most of his plans, as if they were partners.

“I’m sure they won’t suspect at all of your eternal plotting to achieve their demise”

“In the name of our family, try to dial down your glee,” he says equally sarcastic.

 _What family?_ She wants to ask, throughout the years it’s been clear that they don’t fit that description, they are only three distrustful acquaintances who happen to share a bloodline. Or in her case half of it but still.

“Why am I here Lex? I’m not on your war council. This mission to silence and slaughter doesn’t concern me”

The King lays backward in his chair and eyes her carefully “You are a Luthor, it concerns you more than anyone. We can finally get back what was stolen from us, Lena”

She huffs “and what was that?”

“The empire father wished to build, the greatness of our house. Destiny.”

“Destiny? I thought I was the one too enrolled in fantasizing” Lena digs and his brother’s stance stiffens, he doesn’t like being called a buffoon. That’s the whole reason for this, Krypton had called them a bluff and now he wanted to destroy them.

“I for one hope that you remember how we’ve suffered at their hands, dear sister”

The argument fell flat to her, after all, Kryptonian’s had never laid a hand on her, it had always been those whom she called family that had hurt her the most. The only thing they had done was murder a man she never thought of as a real father and considering how determined he had been to wipe them out for the sake of some delusional superiority, she couldn’t blame them.

Lex continued at her silence “I want you to help me return that suffering to them. To start over. Take back everything we lost, everything that was taken from us. We will pay the same coin of family ruin”

“I thought mother was your favorite conspirator partner, you do nothing but remind me of how unequipped I am for it,” She says simply, completely disinterested in partaking.

His finger comes up to point at her “That is exactly why I need you. They know mother and they know me but you are barely a rumor. If there’s anyone they would allow themselves to let their guard down with, it would be you.”

Her arms cross “why would they need to trust me?”

The devilish grin that takes over Lex’s face reminds her how much he’s changed. Lena hasn’t seen him smile in true delight that wasn’t over besting someone else in years, wasn’t had a conversation with him about anything other than her duties. Lex hasn’t told her she loved her since she was a child.

He's a stranger in the skin of her once sweet brother.

“So you can bring this to them,” he says, holding a small vial between his fingers.

Her blood runs cold immediately “You want me to poison them?” her brother lifted a brow and Lena lost her temper “So you’re just going to send me there to do your dirty work? I have never in my life had any interest in this enterprise, Lex. Do you want to become father? Good, but I stay clear of it! These people have done nothing to us, and you might insist on avenging a man who mistreated you but i-“

The harsh sound of a fist upon wood made her close her mouth.

Lex’s face contoured in anger

“They die. Mercy is for the weak. And I'm not the Prince of the bedtime stories, I’m not your childhood friend. I'm your King! Show me some respect!” his jaw twitched “I don’t have time to waste on the pathetic little scrapper still trembling from mother’s reprimands. You have a legacy. You are a Luthor. So you will do what is needed and stand up for your family”

The words had hurt but she spoke through the lump on her throat “And if I refuse”

He remained stoic. He wasn’t asking, his wishes were law and if Lena disobeyed him…

“ _I have climbed nearer out of lonely hell_ ”

“What?” Lena stares at Lex but he is frozen in place. Like an old portrait hung on the wall, his face a mask of indifference that remains inactive. The voice isn’t his, Lena turns to look through the room but she finds no one there.

“ _Beat, happy stars, timing with things below, beat with my heart more blest than heart can tell.”_

The name comes to her tongue at once and the memories. Blonde hair, blue eyes, pink lips “Kara?”

“ _Blest, but for some dark undercurrent woe, that seems to draw- but it shall not be so: Let it all be well. Be well.”_

And then the room disappears, dims into unbeatable darkness that swallows her whole.

…

She comes to her senses abruptly. Smells the earthiness of herbs and feels the soft surface of pillows, her eyes are lazy so the light comes several moments later. The first thing she recognizes is the woman sat in a chair facing her, Astra stops tending to her dagger as soon as she sees her awake.

The woman stares at her for a long second and then stands, hiding the dagger in her boot and walking towards the left. When Lena tries to follow the action her neck protests, there’s a dull pain running through her, she groans and it develops into a cough rapidly.

“Here, sweetie” Eliza Danvers is on her space now, offering her water and Lena swallows fervently.

After, she licks her cracked lips and croaks “Where–“

Eliza hushes her before purring something else and directing it towards her lips, Lena drinks and the liquid with a somewhat bitter taste almost makes her spit but her sore throat feels pleasantly warm afterward.

“Princess Kara and her mother are at the gates sharing farewells with Lucy Lane, she’s leaving to defend Tal’ash, Astra must be going there now to tell them you are awake. I’m sure they will be happy, we weren’t sure you would recover”

“H-how? I should be…” Lena felt tears spurring.

The blonde woman nods “Dead, yes, you should be. Black Daffodil is a very dangerous but not incurable, with the right ointments and remedies it’s survivable, although given the amount you took…I’m a very experienced healer but yours was a difficult state”

Lena knows this. She researched the poison thoroughly and for her to survive it in a large dosage was the slimmest of chances, even if it didn’t outright kill her it effects certainly would without care in a few hours. She shouldn’t be alive.

Eliza saw her confusion “Kara found you, she brought you here early enough for me to save you. Miraculously, really. Otherwise, no one would have known until morning”

“How long have I been out?” she says, the pressure on her head incrementing as a headache develops. Lillian is going to have a feast with her, she can’t even _die_ properly.

“Three days” Eliza presses a hand to her cheek tenderly “meaning we should get you something to eat. I love Kara but she wouldn’t leave you once Alura allowed her in, every time I did anything she got all defensive like I was hurting you, she’s probably sprinting now”

Lena felt a mix of guilt and warmth thinking that Kara had cared for her to such extends. Eliza kept her distracted, feeding her hot stew before giving her a thorough check-up and even though Lena feels awful the healer seems very happy about her state. 

Eventually, there’s quiet and Lena just lays there and breathes for a while. She contemplates her failure and the results it might bring upon them all, what the El’s must think of her now after she’s proven herself even more of an inconvenience. Her intentions weren’t aimed to cost them time and resources but she had, by trying to relieve them of a burden she became one. _Great_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The grammatical mistakes in this I can blame on my lack of English knowledge but for the rest, I have no excuse. Call me out in the comments for my bullshit 
> 
> ps: stay safe or whatever


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the virus is scary or whatever but what about ECONOMIC RECESSION. I'm already jobless this is a mess.

“oh, there she comes” Eliza utters, organizing some jars.

Lena hears it too, the loud thud of boots as they echo through the hallway. Kara enters the room with a stumble, heaving form the running, behind her one of the guards is getting back to their feet as if he’s been pushed over.

“Fuck, Kara! I was opening the door for you” he says as he recovers.

The blonde spares him a glance “Sorry, Simon” and then she shuts the door.

When they lock eyes Kara seems disconcerted at seeing her awake, as if she hadn’t believed it. Lena imagines that her expression must be mirroring that too, considering she had been certain their last interaction was the last time she’d ever see Kara’s face but there she is, looking as perfect as ever.

Lena’s heart swells immensely, rattling inside her chest. Alive. _Very alive_. That’s how Kara makes her feel. For a second the blonde is set in the same position and Lena starts fearing that she might still be asleep or that she has truly reached hell and this is nothing but a cruel dream to make her suffer.

Until at last Kara breaks into a watery chuckle and hurries to her with a quick step that has Lena bracing herself, an unnecessary measure because the embrace comes softly despite the eagerness. Kara keeps all the weight on her arms but her head finds shelter in the crook of Lena’s neck, so firmly she can feel the pulse of the other girl on her lips.

“You’re awake”

“Yes,” Lena whispers as she lifts her arms from the sheets and locks them around Kara’s shoulders.

Kara’s chest compresses with a sob “I wanted to tell you something after dinner and when I got to your door, Streaky was clawing at it and…y-you were barely breathing, Lena”

She feels the brokenness of Kara’s voice all over her body “Kara…god” her hands travel south, pulling at the blonde’s lower back to get into a more solid embrace “I’m so sorry, love. I didn’t- hurting you was not my intent”

Kara draws back and sniffles “Then what were you trying to do?” 

“I was trying to do the right thing,” Lena says, swiping a stray tear from Kara’s cheek. The blonde looks enraged and ready to argue but Lena lays her fingers over parting lips to silence her “My family’s sins cannot be answered by just one act, but I hoped…that our downfall could grant you some peace”

“Losing you would never bring me peace, Lena” Kara drops a kiss to her fingers reverently as if to punctuate the statement “Never.”

“The poison was meant for you, Kara, and I would rather swallow it myself than let it touch you in any way”

The precious blue eyes blink slowly “You could have told me”

Lena had thought about it. Day and night, considered just stepping into the light and bearing all her secrets. She trusted Kara with every beat of her heart and it would’ve been a dream to not bear the burden alone, to commend herself to Kara’s indulgent warmth. But she also didn’t trust her family would stop at anything to destroy them. The Luthor’s had to go. She had to go.

Her bloodline was a scourge that shouldn’t run free, even Lex’s loneliness had eventually grown into cruelty, erasing the brother she loved and letting her with a copy of her father. The same madness would surely reach her one day, to consume her and turn her into the same bitter thing.

It’s a good thing when the door opens again because she hasn’t figured out how to explain all of her motives to Kara. Alura and Astra have always been easily discernable to her, the clothes and the body language breaks their resemblance greatly –as well as the white strand on Astra’s hair- but when they walk in Lena notices the identical expression on their faces.

She witnesses the dual amused gaze for a second, then Astra meets her eye and puts on a mask of seriousness, reassuming her guarded stance. Alura gives her sister a reprimanding look before turning to them, clearly fighting a smirk.

“I think Lady Lena would appreciate a little room for breathing, Kara”

Kara stands quickly, just now noticing the women’s arrival, and Lena misses her already “Forgive me”

She’s not sure if the apology is for her or the Queen, so she lifts a hand to entangle it with Kara’s and squeezes reassuringly. The blonde whirls her head back and stares at their linked hands, a blush and a smile forming on her face.

“It gladness me that you are better” Alura speaks kindly “Eliza is gifted but I must admit you scared all of us” There’s no accusation in the words but Lena still feels guilty “I don’t wish to deter your recovery but postponing this conversation would be ill-advised”

Lena shakes her head “It’s alright, Your Majesty” her head protests as she starts to lift from the bed, luckily Kara aids her into position and then sits beside her. Kara worriedly presses closer to her to stabilize her, the dizziness recedes and Lena gives her a grateful smile.

“You left this for me” Alura holds the paper to her eye level “I would still like it if you help us to understand more thoroughly the situation”

“Whatever you need to know,” Lena said, tired but keen on helping.

“So, Lex and Rhea settled for an alliance” Alura waited for her nod and then continued “I can only assume it existed prior to our most recent visit to Daxam. Why didn’t he kill us then?”

“I think he wants you to live long enough to strip you of all the things you hold dear” she says honestly. 

“You _think_?” Astra sneers “is this a fabrication of yours or a certainty?”

“Astra!” Kara holds her protectively.

Lena puts a hand on Kara’s knee calmly “it's fine. My brother has turned unpredictable but I know the way his mind works and he wouldn’t be pleased with murdering you so quickly”

“Then why the poison?” Astra continues her interrogation.

“As I said in the letter, my brother only gave me enough to make you ill, four drops of Black Daffodil for each of you. Leaving the three remaining El’s with a claim, weakened and unprepared for his plan, giving him enough time to put you all in chains and parade you around or whatever he had in mind”

“I’m not a member of the House of El” Astra said drily. 

Lena limited her reaction to the hostility “Not you” her eyes switch to Alura, she hadn’t mentioned that part on the letter “He thought Kal-El might turn up”

Alura raises a brow at the mention of her nephew “Kal-El renounced his title”

“It doesn’t matter. Jor-El’s son would still be able to reclaim his position at any time, Lex wants to eradicate him”

The Queen sighed then focused on her with curious eyes “But you don’t. You went against your brother, to the detriment of your own life, why?”

“He wants an empire, a dynasty of a glory unbeknownst to man. Lex doesn’t just want to become like our father, he wants to best him” her mouth dries but Kara runs a hand down her back, coaxes bravery out of her “I don’t want to be like Lionel or Lex”

“You aren’t.” Kara says, pressing a kiss to her hair.

Alura stares at them as Lena tries not to blush. If it weren’t for the presence of Kara’s relatives, Lena would be melting into her arms right now, clinging to that sense of haven the blonde carries with her.

“And I've come to know you” Lena continues “maybe not completely but your people don’t deserve what he will bestow upon them. So I defied him, because I don’t want to give him what he wants. If it is the end of your line that he is striving for, I will give him the destruction of the Luthor one instead”

Astra frowns but her words carry less bite “you would pursue your own family’s destruction?”

Lena juggles with her emotions like she always does when it comes to her family. She wants to love them, wants to be loved by them and it’s probably the most twisted of thoughts because they lost that chance too long ago. Perhaps they never even had it.

“Yes. God knows we've had it coming”

There’s a deadly resolution in her voice that makes the room fall into silence for a moment. Astra is still frowning but the assaulting questions stop, the General shares a look with her older sister and then finally adopts a more relaxed posture. Lena counts that as a win.

“Well,” Alura reclaims the attention “I have already sent J’onn to secure the southern border, with Daxam under Lex’s control we can only assume he will try to attack from there as well as the west.”

Lena’s eyes bulge “They will outnumber you. You can't win” Umbra’s forces are similar to Krypton’s but with Daxam playing a part the balance shifts drastically, even more so now that Alura’s forces are split.

“Alone, yes. Undoubtedly” the Queen says “The Grants are already marching to meet with the forces at J’onn’s command and James is aiding some new allies to cross the Meridiem Sea, three hundred ships will arrive at the northern cost with warriors by the end of the week”

She’s a little stunned at being trusted with that information, so much that her response comes awfully late “That should be more than enough to secure your victory. Umbra will be yours”

Alura gives her a pointed look “I have no desire to rule over the Shadowlands”

Lena’s body coils up “Your Majesty, as long as there is a Luthor in charge you won’t be safe. Even if you get rid of Lex and Lillian, the nobles have no affinity for your people and support my brother’s efforts with extreme fidelity. It might be years before they try again but they will”

“If I try to usurp power on your Kingdom, it will displease them all the same”

The statement makes Lena’s arguments plummet, it seems no matter what method they try it will eventually circle back and end up in bloodshed. There’s plenty of lords ready to jump at the opportunity to take over and she’s sure they are too prideful to submit to any Kryptonian.

Realization must show on her face because Kara kisses her shoulder in support and Lena instinctually leans into it. A little defeated, she lets her head drop to settle just where Kara’s jaw begins as she feels the overwhelming exhaustion of nearly dying and having to come to terms with the apparent inevitability of endless conflict. Even if they manage to end the Luthor line, there is no assurance of peace.

“Mother, she needs to rest” Kara’s plea is faint on her ears but she feels the very warm arms wrapping around her.

Lena is happy to be maneuvered back down to lay on the forgiving pillows, the world spins slower and her neck pain fades slightly. Alura appears suddenly in her field of vision, softly brushes some hair off her face and gives her the kindest of looks.

“ _Nahkluv_ ” Alura says in a sweet tone “ _khap rrip chad khuhtiv kehlish_ , _inahmin_ ”

Kara’s hand twitches in Lena’s, the blonde has a disbelieving expression that only furthers when her mother delivers a sweet kiss to her cheek. Alura whispers something and Kara nods firmly, closing her agape mouth. After that the Queen leaves, her twin shadowing her as usual and although Astra doesn’t show her any regard, Lena thinks she’s earned some respect.

“What did she say?” Lena asks, her eyes are closing but she wants to stare at Kara just a while longer.

The Princess smiles nervously “She said thank you. I should let you sleep now”

Lena tugs on her hand weakly, Kara hasn’t tried to move despite her previous words so she assumes is safe to voice her wants “Please stay?”

“You need to rest, _I_ ’ _shovuh_ ” Kara mutters the words into the back of her hand, and Lena honestly doesn’t know how she’s supposed to resist this. To have Kara calling her _my love_ and not feel like her ribcage is going to pop open.

“Please” she licks her drying lips and watches Kara’s eyes follow the path of her tongue “Don’t go yet”

“Lena…” it barely sounds like a protest and maybe is a little vicious of her but Lena lowers her pitch to reach that rumble that she knows Kara likes.

“Read to me a little more?”

The blonde looks confused and then awed “ _You heard_?”

“Yes,” She declares, tugging on the front of Kara’s silk vest “I heard you”

Kara blinks three times as a second passes by, Lena sees her take a shaky inhale before she’s shooting up to her feet. She wants to apologize immediately and make Kara sit down again but the Kryptonian isn’t leaving. Lena observes the rushed fingers undoing the vest buttons when Kara almost trips trying to kick off the boots she starts to laugh.

“Sorry” the blonde excuses, as she runs a hand through her hair. Lena moves to open some room for her on the bed. “uh… where..” Kara makes a semicircle motion as she seeks the near surfaces.

Eliza clears her throat, announcing herself and Lena burns with embarrassment at having ignored her presence “Here, I’m going to get stretch my legs” the healer says as she hands Kara the book she was looking for “take care of her while I’m out”

Kara giggles awkwardly “oh, yes, yes, of course. T-thanks, Eliza”

The door closes and Lena suppresses a giggle in favor of urging Kara to her side. It’s pathetically needy but as soon as she stretches her hand out Kara is lowering to lay beside her. The blonde doesn’t let her feel pathetic, she clings onto Lena quickly and it is truly glorious, to be pulled into a tight and unrestricted embrace.

“I missed you” Kara mutters, fingers roaming over the line of a cheekbone “Rao, I missed you so much”

Lena felt her heart in her fingertips, louder than war drums “me too. The days that I’ve spent with you-“

“Have been the brightest joy of all my life.” Kara finished quoting the words Lena had written down, teary-eyed “Your Kryptonian is good”

“You are such a liar” Lena says “I can only understand a hundred and twenty words”

Kara smiles widely “That’s a hundred and twenty words that you learned all by yourself” the awestruck tone of the Kryptonian’s voice makes her stupidly shy but Kara presses on “You are so smart”

“I’m not that smart, your mom helped”

“What?” Kara asks with her brows furrowed.

Lena pushes herself closer, the forgotten book pokes her in the chest but she’s quick to correct her mistake “She didn’t know what it was for I- told her it was a thank you note”

The blonde loses her some of her concern but remains serious “Lena, I’ve never held you accountable for any of your father’s mistakes, I need you to know that”

Both of Kara’s hands slide onto her hips, bringing her ungodly close to her own body, and with the thin bedwear allows her to feel the expanse of Kara’s big milky palms. She almost gasps at the sensation and for a brief moment, she wonders if she did die and this is some fantasy afterlife of sorts.

The kiss Kara lays on her chin feels real though “You aren’t responsible for anything that your father did, or that your brother does” the hot breath makes her skin ripple with goosebumps, as Kara mouths the words into her jaw and then her neck “you are not like them, Lena”

Her lips part to let out a sound that’s part whine part moan and Kara returns upwards “You are nothing like that. You’re good, Lena, you are so good” it’s said at the edge of her mouth and Lena craves it. Within an instant she wants it so painfully, she wants the words and the touch and just _Kara_.

She can’t refrain from saying it “Kara- god, Kara I-“

“You are so good, love. You need to know that alright? Please, Lena, say you believe me” Kara is insistent and tender, which is her doom.

“Yes,” Lena says, her nose bumps with Kara’s and she practically is speaking the works into the girl’s mouth “I believe you”

Part of her knows she’d say whatever Kara asked her to, whatever Kara wanted her to do without question. But mostly she just wants to believe it so bad, and she trusts Kara with her life and she just said she was good, good, so very good. So she’ll just glut on it for now. After all, war is about to come and Lena has the impending feeling one of them is not going to live it through.

“You said goodbye. In your letter, you said goodbye” Kara swallows thickly, as if the mere acknowledgment of it is egregiously bad “I don’t want that, Lena”

Lena backs up enough to catch the sight of Kara’s face, brows scrunched out in pain. It makes her hate herself, that she did this to someone who’s already so tragically familiarized with losing people.

She frames Kara’s face with her hands “Forgive me” she begs “I’m sorry for-“

Her apology is cut short, as Kara surges forward and presses her forehead against Lena’s.

“Did you mean the last part?”

She recalls vividly the last words she’d carefully put on paper, the ones she had desperately wanted to say in person for weeks. The ink couldn’t make them justice, hell, no language known to man was designed to carry the meaning.

Nonetheless, she tries “I love you, Kara Zor-El”

Kara freezes at the admission as if she was expecting a different response, Lena tries to stay calm, combing her fingers over the mess of blond curls. She must look terrible after three days on the brink of death but her Princess is still somehow perfect, despite the dark shadow under her eyes.

Her life is most likely an arrangement of sad tales colliding into each other that gave birth to the pitiful nightmare that makes up her personality. Until not too long ago she didn’t care about what happened next, but now she stares at Kara, runs a finger over the slightly opened lips that look so fucking delectable and finds herself with an unfamiliar sensation: lucky. She’s so godamn lucky.

Before she can have any more contemplations Kara finally snaps out of her trance and starts moving, lifting herself only enough to view Lena form a vantage point. Calmness goes out the window quickly, having those blue eyes admiring her with a devotion that should only be reserved for artwork or landscape, not Lena and her too pale face.

“You love me? ” Kara asks with a lot of uncertainty in her face, hair cascading over her right shoulder like a river of gold.

“Yes” Never seen before. A wonder. A true anomaly. “I mean…I don’t have anything to compare it to but I-“She loses herself for a second, in the unwavering stare of blue orbs “I have been falling for you since the first day I met you and, honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever reach the bottom”

Lena is afraid she’s shared too much, but fuck it’s so true. Falling in love with Kara has no discernable end, it’s just a continuous drop that makes her stomach feel funny and good. There’s also no stopping it, no force on earth capable of putting her back on land ever again, all she has now is the fall.

Kara’s expression remains blank. It makes the fall feel less gracious and more like she’s rushing towards the ground in a blur of limbs. _She didn’t like that,_ her mind yells, _she didn’t like that, you stupid unthinking b-_

Her inner monologue is quickly shut down by the blonde’s breathy voice.

“Lena” Kara’s face is only an inch apart, suspended above her like an immaculate painting on a vaulted ceiling “Rao, how did this happen?”

The question doesn’t feel like it is directed to her but she answers anyway “I don’t know. I’m sorry”

The Kryptonian looks at her like she’s mad “Don’t be sorry. You’re always apologizing so much, Lena”

“I’m sor- oh.” Lena stops herself.

Kara smiles in amusement, slotting herself impossibly close to her until Lena can feel the patron on her breathing and follow it “I don’t want you to be sorry about that, Lena, because I- wait, can you please say it again?”

Lena frowns “that I’m sorry?”

“No. That you love me. If you mean it, can you say it again?” Kara asks very gently.

“I love you,” she says and the words are so foreign. They would’ve been tasteless with anyone else, but this is Kara, and somehow that makes it the equivalent of a drink of water after centuries of thirst. It’s absurdly indulgent and scrumptious to no end. 

Kara smiles wide and pretty, Lena’s heart can barely take it “I love you too, Lena” the declaration comes out eagerly “I love you so much, _tve’aos_ ”

The repetition comes with an added endearment Lena is pretty sure means ‘baby’ and her lips part, tremble. What the hell? Kara just said that? She said she loves her, and now the blonde’s attention has indiscreetly traveled to her lips. Caught staring the princess avoids her stare by nuzzling into the side of her face. Lena feels the warmth of her breath as she reiterates the words another five times into her cheek, breathy and muffled but so strong. 

That’s all it takes for Lena to pull at Kara’s jaw, the Princess follows her guidance dutifully and their mouths come together easy. Lena immediately has to cling to Kara’s shoulders, because the glee form experiencing the soft satin-like expanse of her lips is positively overwhelming. Kara herself has a long shiver before she’s adventuring further into the feeling, coaxing Lena to move along with her.

Lena has never kissed anyone and didn’t built any expectations about it but…God, kissing Kara feels is the oddest of juxtapositions, debilitating and revitalizing. Everything else becomes inconsequential apart from this, nothing matters besides the commotion of movements where they are connected.

Kara parts and Lena almost whines “o-oh Rao- my god, Lena” then she’s back, sliding a hand to thumb at her waist and giving in more fully. Lena opens up readily, letting Kara lap inside her mouth is the most rewarding thing in her life, as the blonde hungrily makes a feast out of her she considers to just continue doing this until the end of times.

Eventually, it’s her unfortunate need for air that debauches that plan. They separate with similar heavy breathing and intoxicated appearances, Kara buries her nose in black hair and pants. Lena isn’t fairing too well either, she licks the remnants of Kara off her lips, shamefully aware of how incredibly warm she is now.

The Kryptonian recovers first, starts nipping at her lower lip like it’s one of her favorite sugary treats. Lena welcomes her back enthusiastically, already in too deep to even considering denying herself the pure ecstasy. She could do this for hours, days, months and-

The short knocking barely grants them enough time to get somewhat dignified before Eliza is coming back in, hands stocked with some light foods from the kitchen intended for Lena, _for_ _Lena_ the healer says very pointedly when she sees the pouting blonde.

…

“I fucking hate you,” Alex says with a groan, wiping the sweat off her forehead.

Kara snorts “No. I’m your favorite person in the world remember?”

“Yes, well, I’m revoking that statement” Alex crosses her arms “I mean, you treat me like chopped liver for three days and now I’m going to get a back pain form lifting this stupid thing” The copper makes a clacking sound as Alex kicks it.

“I’m sure you can ask Samantha to help you with your sore back later” she shouldn’t tease a grumpy Alex but it’s too hard to restrict form such a pleasurable thing.

Her sister’s jaw turns into a sharp edge “Are you seriously giving _me_ crap? You just scavenged the whole town to get this fucking bathtub and then made me drag it three floors up for a girl you met a month ago”

Kara is glad she can excuse her blush as the result of exertion. For a moment she wants to laugh or slap Alex and start some stupid quarrel just to shut down the matter but something strange flourishes in her belly at the reminder of Lena.

“I- I think I’m in love with her” the stutter annoys her, she’s sure, she shouldn’t stutter “No. I know I love her, Alex”

“Oh” the fake resentment flees from the redhead's face and she uncrosses her arms, Kara scratches a nail along the rim of the tub and pretends it’s not a big deal.

Alex has been the only constant in her life for years, whatever is on her mind and heart always makes its way into her sister’s ears. This though is something Alex has never hear her say, she’s dabbled in romantic entanglements before but nothing like what she’s now admitting, and she was a royal anyway, duty and family had always been her highest priority.

“Alright. That’s…a little terrifying”

Kara gapes at her with slight irritation and Alex lifts her palms “Sorry, you just- I mean you don’t ever talk about that and I guess I knew you were already because there’s nothing discrete about it”

“Alex!”

“It’s true,” her sister says with a shrug “you do realize that after years of not having any interest in this, you fell in love with the one person you probably shouldn’t?”

“Thanks for the support” her heart clenches uncomfortably at the words. It’s exactly what she had been fearing, loving Lena meant people would most certainly tell her she shouldn’t. That’s the reason why she had tried not to in the first place, but it felt so out of her control.

Alex is in front of her with two steps “wait, it’s not wrong, alright? That’s not what I’m saying, Kara” she grabs her shoulders and speaks with resolve “I’m happy that you have someone that makes you feel that way, Kara. Of course, I am, don’t ever doubt that”

“But?”

“I have to say I am a little concerned about how complicated this whole thing could get. We’re readying for a war against her family”

“She’s nothing like them” Kara jumps in, tensing until she feels the squeeze of Alex’s hands.

“I know that, stop trying to fight me” she lets out a tired exhale, then stares at her with warm brown eyes “I just don’t want you to get hurt. That’s all”

Kara nods, she knows that Alex has only ever tried her best to protect her. “You’ll keep me safe” she teases and lifts her hand to place it above Alex’s.

“And I will keep you safe too” she adds, tilting her head in the way she knows Alex finds adorable. 

Alex smiles, delivers a quick kiss to her temple before pushing away “none of that mushiness now, I’m still mad about this shitty tub”

It’s not that shitty, she thinks as she scratches her ear. Argo isn’t the best place to look for bathtubs but Kara tried her best to find a decent one, and this one is good if ever so modest. So no, the tub in itself isn’t shitty, the shitty part is bringing up the water herself because she won’t subject the maids to this torture.

“This is not what I had in mind when I joined the military guild” Simon whines, once he dumps the last bucket.

Kara laughs, stretching her sore arms “what did you have in mind?”

“Heroics, infinite ale and pretty ladies who’d marvel at the size of my arms”

“My arms are bigger”

His wince is filled with annoyance “you better make me your general one day because I’m not taking this abuse for free”

“Oh come on!” she pats him in the back “you offered”

He pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs “ugh, I did. It’s the thing you do with the eyes, honestly fuck you for that”

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?” he fails at hiding a smile and Kara bumps him in the shoulder “Thanks, Simon. I’ll send some wine to you when your watch is done”

His brown eyebrows rise “care you clean my boots too?”

“Alright, off you go” Kara says with an eye roll.

Eliza is writing down annotations on her desk when Kara comes back inside, the woman smiles at her arrival promptly going back to scribble more words. It takes her two seconds to look up again, confusion coating her features, making Kara look down at her very wet top.

“Uh…I was just- can I borrow her for an hour?” she signals to an equally perplexed Lena.

The woman spares a look at her patient “Outside?”

“Oh Rao no, to her room” Kara explains “I promise I’ll take care of her”

“Lena?” Eliza’s call is soft, breaking the brunette focus on Kara.

“I- yes, can I?” she asks.

The physician smiles kindly “Of course, honey. Just make sure to tell Kara if you are feeling off”

Lena is still a little unsteady on her feet, so she’s glad to have Kara help with her very gentle hands. The aching over her body has diminished, as well as the sharpness of her migraine that is now just an inconstant throb and certainly, her bones still feel heavy but less so after falling asleep on Kara’s chest for several hours.

“Your sleeves are soaked” She says as the blonde guides them through the hallway.

Kara clicks her tongue “yes, sorry about that. Are you still dizzy?”

“A little, but is so much better than this morning” Lena answers, the blonde holds onto her waist more firmly at the revelation and it makes her smile “why?”

Kara’s cheeks are coloring pink “I have kind of a surprise, but if you feel unwell… let me know okay?”

Lena nods and marches inside of the room with the protective arm around her, for a second the new addition to the furniture doesn’t register but then it does and she turns to look at Kara, who’s anxiously biting down on her bottom lip.

“You got me a bathtub?”

“I got you a bathtub” the blonde bobs her head as if she’s unsure “is that okay? I don’t know if it’s the right size or“ Lena halts the ramble before it can start, rotating to face her and Kara’s speech slows down at the happy expression on the brunette's face.

Lena lest out a low hum and drags her fingers over her shoulders makes a trail up her neck with a delicacy that has Kara swooning terribly and wondering how is it possible, to have her heart be owned so deeply in only a month. When long fingers hook on her jaw, Lena smiles at her so bright and pretty it makes her want to cry.

“Thank you” the words are so soft and Kara doubts it’s just about the tub, so she grabs onto Lena’s wrists and guides them carefully to their rightful place, there where Lena likes to play with the baby curls on her nape.

There’s a certain fragility in the forestlike eyes that she adores, something beyond the loving tone of Lena’s look. Kara doesn’t want to push too hard, to scratch her way inside whatever she is not allowed to see and nobody has ever praised her for patience, but right now she has no demands. Not for Lena.

So she just smiles “Anything for you _, zhao_ ”

“yes?" Lena asks, suddenly sheepish.

Kara feels bubbly as she nods “Anything. Let’s get you into the water before it gets cold”

Getting into the copper tub would have been a hazard, despite her reassurances to Kara, Lena is still unbalanced enough to tumble over if she even tried to lift her foot more than a couple of inches. Luckily the blonde is prompt to help, easily getting Lena out of her sleeping gown and into the water with only a moderate amount of blushing.

It’s such a different feeling from that first day when Kara’s eyes had been curious but nothing else. Now -despite trying not to in a chivalrous effort- Lena sees the undelaying longing in the darting blue irises. Occasionally she stares at herself in the mirror, naked or not, she never finds anything noteworthy but by the absorbed gaze Kara directs her way there might be.

“I can’t believe you went through this much trouble to get me a tub” Lena says, signaling to Kara’s soaked clothes.

The Kryptonian smiles tenderly from her kneeling position, chin resting atop the tub ledge “I wanted to give you something more…familiar? I don’t know. Also going to the sublevels seemed unviable given your state”

“That makes sense” Lena crooks her head “but I miss the superiority of your bathing chamber and having you in the water with me” it’s bold and stupid, considering she probably looks sunken and horrid. Still, Kara gives her an intense look of adoration, like she’s a perfect girl laying in a sun-washed field of poppies. 

“I thought it was weird for you,” the blonde says with narrowed eyes and smirking lips.

“It is. Absurd and improper” Lena says, picturing her mother’s cold stare for a second “and I like it” 

Kara snorts at her faux scandalized tone “Eliza did not mention you were also delirious”

“Oh that’s inherited, love”

Kara laughs at her cheeky comment “ugh, finally someone to compete with my level of derangement” the joke makes her chuckle “okay, let’s hurry up before you get cold”

Lena nods and happily lets the water rinse the coats of cold sweat. Kara’s sleeves are dripping by the time she’s finished with Lena’s dark hair, but she remains unbothered, landing a kiss on her temple and helping her out.

“This one?” Kara asks, holding a light tawny gown that she’s retrieved out for her.

Lena looks up “yes, that one is fine” she shrugs the slim drying fabric from her shoulders and it pools around her in the bed.

Kara’s boots thud as she half trips “oh. Um, maybe, are you sure you want this one” averting eyes go rampant over the gown she’s holding “it’s a little, I don’t know, maybe you’d rather I bring up a maid- I don't, eh”

“You have seen me naked before, Kara”

“n-not on a bed” the blonde whisper-shouts, switching to stare at the ceiling “and I didn’t even ask if you wanted me to dress you, Rao, am I making you uncomfortable?”

“You are not,” Lena says softly “can you come here?”

Kara only hesitates for a moment but she’s there just as quickly, eyes skittish and Lena pulls up the linen to cover up most of her torso.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?” she asks fearfully in turn, slightly ashamed.

“What? No” Kara finally looks back at her “of course not, Lena you are…” the Princess struggles with her words, huffs out in frustration.

“I’m sorry,” Lena says, holding the fabric tighter “I don’t know why…I just feel good around you, safe.” She swallows heavily, thinking of what is whispered about her, about her mother the ‘streetwalker’ “I wasn’t- not like that” 

“Lena, I-“ Kara takes a reluctant step and the worry on her face makes Lena ill because she’s bringing all of her broken pieces into Kara’s life and she didn’t ask for it.

There’s a heavy sigh as Kara finally makes it to the bed, she throws the gown into the sheets. Lena feels small as Kara’s forearms flex anxiously at the girl’s hips, it’s awfully attractive despite the frown between her brows. Before Lena can start apologizing again the blonde is taking off her shirt and Lena is only a little startled as Kara continues, removing the breast band just as swiftly and letting them fall to the floor.

Kara’s eyes remain set on Lena as she reaches down to catch one of her hands, Lena complies with the movement and gives away her open palm. The Kryptonian guides it up and the new angle of her arm makes her cover slip down, but Lena suddenly doesn’t feel ashamed or wrong. Her palm makes it to Kara’s chest, she feels the soft curve of a breast and underneath, the steady beating of a heart.

“My people, we aren’t too prudish,” Kara says, holding Lena’s hand against her chest “we- it is said we come from the stars, that we turned into people because Rao wished it, and with his wisdom, he decreed only one thing…that we should love each other as if we were one body. One soul.”

Lena nods respectfully, knowing these teachings were shared with Kara by her family. Her father. Most of her reluctant beliefs were inflicted upon her by cruel churchy people Lillian entrusted her to as a child. So she finds herself entrapped by the contented tone of remembrance on Kara’s words.

“It’s a rather loose religion I guess” the blonde chuckles “to hold love as our most sacred value troubled me for some time after my dad died. I thought that discipline or honor or strength should be more important because-“a grimace blooms in Kara’s face “well, he had all of the love I could think of and that still didn’t save him” 

“I loved him. My mom loved him. His people loved him. He went west because he loved us too, because he wanted to protect us”

 _‘from us’_ Lena can’t help but think. She shushes that thought and listens, rubbing Kara’s sternum with her thumb in support.

“It feels like since you got here all I do is talk to you about my issues”

“I’m here. I want to hear about everything that made you _you_ ”

Kara gives her a fleeting smile and continues “I think what I’m saying is that I am scared. Because just now I looked at you sitting here, looking so beautiful and- I love you. I love you and I’m afraid I will lose you” there’s a broken resignation Lena hates to hear, so she leans in and kisses the hard yet soft surface of Kara’s low abdomen, feeling Kara’s other hand land on her hair.

“No matter how much I love someone they are just going to get ripped away from me” Kara continues, mouth overflowing with the things she hadn’t dare to share “and now it’s happening again. My mom, Alex, Astra and now you, I am never going to be able to keep you all safe. I-I can’t keep you safe”

Lena intervenes the growing panic “Nobody is going to be ripped away-“

“You almost died, Lena” Kara jumps in, hurt lacing her speech “i can't -” the sentence is never finished because the blonde breaks into a silent cry, pulling her hands away to hide her reddening face.

Lena jumps over her own pain at being the source of distress for Kara, her abrupt rise causes a wave of nausea she also has to overcome but as soon as she does her focus is on her love.

“Kara, my love” she tries to uncover Kara’s face, throat a little tight as emotion shakes within her “ _zrhueiao,_ please” 

Lena implores as the feeling of guilt stretches in her gut “I didn’t mean to take myself away from you”

“Then why?” Kara asks unappeased, scrubbing the tears away aggressively.

Lena is quick to stop her, tearing the offending hands away and standing on the tip of her toes. Kara has no way of avoiding her eyes and Lena watches her inhale sharply through her nose, she almost doesn’t know what to say or where to begin but she knows she needs to give the blonde enough information to make sense of the situation.

“When I was a kid I used to pretend all the time that I was a different person” she starts, voice steadfast for once “and I would make up stories about who I was in my head, I’d imagine myself far away where I could stop being Lionel’s daughter, somewhere Lillian would never reach” Kara stares, shuffles her body closer “I was convinced one day I would make it real and run away. Maybe with Lex, and we’d be happy”

Her tongue feels a bit too heavy suddenly but she keeps speaking “After Lionel died I stopped. Many things didn’t make sense yet but I understood one thing: that I could never escape what he’d done. I heard the rumors about Kandor and a hundred other places, the slaughter and the wrongdoing and it finally settled on my head, I was never going to stop being the bastard progeny of a madman”

“Lena” Kara’s hand cradled her cheek, a single tear running down her face.

She shakes her head “I know _you_ know, Kara. He might have tried to hide my illegitimacy but after his death, Lillian did not. Anything to make sure I never had a ruling right above Lex” Lena shrugs “Your people are the first ones to call me a Princess in fifteen years. Umbra doesn’t recognize me as royalty since I was five years old” 

“It doesn’t make me think any less of you. It has never mattered to me” Kara says softly.

“Is that why you never brought it up?”

“I don’t need a rumor to tell me who you are, and neither do you” the resolute tone of her voice causes a shiver in Lena “you don’t have to be what they say, you don’t have to make them right. They might be shadow but you are light, Lena” 

“You make it sound so easy” her hands cling to Kara’s shoulders “I don’t want to imagine anymore, I want to live and be free. I want all of that with you” and she did, for Kara made her forget she was the aftermath of hateful things.

Lena felt her whole body shiver at the half-lidded look given to her and soon enough Kara reseats the scene, bringing Lena’s hand once more to her chest “You can have it” the blonde whispers “you can have me”

Those four words break her, leave her speechless, adrift in an ocean of emotion she has never been equipped to navigate. _You can have me,_ Kara said, not in proposition but certainty. Lena tries to combat her own disbelieve, her jaws feel stuck in place. 

Kara is still there, holding her patiently as she sorts her thoughts. She opens her mouth and closes it again, stupidly, because of course she wants her. Kara who is now the closest thing to a home, starts to kiss her with warm lips like she intends to unfreeze her. Lena feels the soft repetitive pecks, her eyelashes drop slowly and so does the fear.

“You had me since the first time I saw you, Lena” Kara breathes the words against her mouth.

Lena counts three heartbeats vibrating against her palm before she gives up questioning whether she deserves this or not, as of now she can’t project a future without the revered experience of belonging with Kara, the rest of the world is composed of profane notions but this is divine.

“I want you” her mouth finally works and what spills out jerks her soul into some sort of redemption. “I’m yours” 

Kara's response is immediate "so am I, _Zhao."_

Lena lets that knowledge soothe her and when Kara gracefully pulls them both down into the fluff of satin covers she feels like she's healing, like things aren't so fucked up after all and there still are dreams to be chased. Her body feels light and her mind is quiet, content, as she finally belongs. 

"Yours until the stars die out" Kara promises into her hair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was aimed to be a fluff chapter but soon there will be more drama. Also I listened to Conan Gray's Album whilst writing this and I just want to say: bish I wish I were Heather too.
> 
> ps: I forgot to say that in the last chapter what Lena hears Kara reading is a fragment of Alfred Tennyson's poem Maud


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been sleeping fifteen hours a day, procrastinating my essays and making mediocre attempts to move this story along.

Kara bounces her knee. Impatience, it’s always been the thing her teachers chastised the most, the fact that she wants to do everything head-on and without thought. Alex rejoices in telling her that’s why she’s such a lousy shot, because she just can’t wait until the right moment when her body is supposed to know to let go and allow the arrow to be true.

Lena pursed her lips slightly, her fingers tapping rhythmically as if she has all the time in the world. And Kara almost wants to rush her. Almost. But it’s so easy for her to be tantalized by this woman, admiring the way she blows some hair out of her face and lets a finger linger at the edge of her mouth in deep thought.

The Kryptonian watches, belly coiling up with the desire to replace that finger with her lips. Lena looks up for a moment, and her smirk is so knowing Kara almost starts blushing. A second later the brunette makes her move, she doesn’t even track her Queen as it’s pushed across the board, staring at Kara.

“Checkmate” Lena announces as she corners Kara’s King.

The blonde bites her lip, defeat usually feels disappointing but as she has discovered through the last five rounds of chess, seeing Lena cockily win is the opposite of bitter.

“I win. Again.” Lena says as she leans back stretching her neck.

“Will I ever stand a chance?” Kara asks, ready to add chess to the list of things she sucks at.

Lena arches a brow “Not very likely, Darling”

“No?” Kara plucks the remaining pieces out of the board, laying them down with the rest.

“You stand a better chance at splitting a rice grain with an arrow”

“because you are so smart” Kara says with a smile, moving the board from the middle of the bed and uncrossing her legs.

Lena catches onto her advance but doesn’t retreat “could beat you with my eyes closed” she says with a prideful chess puffing.

Kara leans over her, a bishop digs into her knee but she ignores it. Lena stays put but she can see her softening, as Kara comes closer and closer, until she’s just right there. The blonde tilts her head, examining the way the girl breathes just a bit too quickly, unwilling to back down but not unaffected by the proximity.

“I know,” she says huskily “not that I mind a bit of bashing when it comes from you”

It is a thought-provoking sentence and perhaps cheeky enough to earn her a swat but Lena doesn’t do that. Kara groan loudly when she’d guided forward by a strong grip on her chin, and when Lena licks at her lips sweetly Kara opens up so willingly it’s sinful.

It’s been two days since their first kiss and she’s certain if they were left alone to their own devices, they could’ve kissed for hours on end until their lips went numb. _Rao, have mercy,_ Kara implores mentally as Lena’s nails rank along her jaw to pull her closer and she goes like a puppet on a string, taking in a shaky breath when her bottom lip is subjected to the delicious attention of Lena’s pearly teeth.

“How are you so good at that” Kara wonders in awe, once they stop for a much-needed breather.

Lena’s expression of delight is akin to watching the sunset “I pledge myself very deeply to the things I enjoy” the brunette runs a finger over Kara’s reddened slick lips “and I really, really don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed anything more”

The yearning on Kara’s chets only grows having heard that “well, I wish I can somehow compete with your mastery”

“Oh, you do,” Lena says and there’s a light blush setting on her cheeks “I don’t think I will get my fill anytime soon. Having you kiss me it’s…”

“What?” Kara pries when the pause runs too long.

“it’s, I don’t know” Lena frowns as she searches her vocabulary “Godly, I guess” she says with a smile, if any of Umbra’s priests heard her now she’d get slapped for sacrilege. Fuck them, if there’s anything near a divinity it has to be Kara. Kara with her crystal blue eyes and her big hands trailing over her hips.

Kara who looks elated at the revelation, pressing forward until Lena has to back down into the bed with a very smug blonde slotting above her. Her stomach coils funnily at the way their bodies weld so well together, maybe destiny did exist and it wasn’t just some stupid justification to start a war like her brother thought but about Kara kissing her so thoroughly her toes curled.

Which the blonde proceeded to excel at, running her hands up Lena’s sides and stealing her breath away with the searing heat of her tongue. Were they not laying down she might have gone light headed, instead she’s just awfully warm and having to quell down the voices in her head that want to rock against the strong tight between her legs.

“Oh for fuck’s sake”

The loud shout interrupts them and soon they’re both staring dumbly at Alex, as she stands by the door with her hand over her eyes in a dramatic fashion. Kara scrambles into a sitting position and Lena accepts the offered hand that pulls her upwards, smoothing over the bottom of her dress that has riddled up.

“Alex!” Kara runs a hand over her hair awkwardly “what are you doing here?”

“You mean besides getting assaulted by _this_ ”

“You didn’t knock” Kara points out

Her sister scoffs “It’s the physician’s quarters, Kara. You are lavishing your girl’s throat on my mom’s workspace”

Kara looks a little bleak “don’t say it like that, I- I wasn’t”

“No, no, no. Spare me the details” Alex says with a sigh, she waves at Lena “Good morning, Lena”

Lena smiles shyly “Good morning, Alex” she occupies herself with reorganizing the scattered chess pieces as Kara leaves the bed.

“Alright, where’s my mom?” Alex asks “she send me to find this herb for a tea but I can’t imagine she’d drink this. It smells like feet”

Kara takes the small pouch form her hands and smells it, coughing a little “you probably brought the wrong one”

Alex gives her a death glare but ignores the comment “I passed Astra on my way here, she wants your help with the drills since Lucy is gone”

“You’re her _Aodai,_ you help her” Kara says stubbornly.

“I’m running an errand, you prick” Alex retorts, reclaiming the pouch “and she requested you. I suspect she wants to apologize for making a fool of you on training the other day”

Kara clicks her tongue, a little annoyed. She's spending most of her time with Lena, so speaking with her aunt has not been a priority.

“Fine,” she says, going back to pick up her boots and slide them on. Lena stares at her with her bright green eyes, so she leans in to kiss her “I’ll be back when I’m done. Maybe we can go down to the gardens if you want to”

Lena nods “I’d like that”

Once Kara is out of the room Lena turns her attention to Alex. “ _Aodai_?”

“Sergeant” Alex answers, as she settles on a nearby chair “ _U’hmpahr_ for General, perhaps Astra will like you better if you call her that”

“I don’t think she’s ever going to like me at all” Lena says, playing with the black horse on the board.

“She played chess with you?” Alex sounds surprised.

“Yes, why?”

“Her dad gifted it for her eight birthday”

Lena stares down at the pristine set of wood chess. It looks almost untouched for how old it is, in fact, she had wondered whether Kara had also gone on the hunt for it along with the bathtub. But if Kara was eight when she got it then…

“He was in Crow’s town, couldn’t make it” Alex continues “Lionel was advancing fast and there was no time. Zor-El sent Astra back with it, to tell Kara he’d be returning soon and they would play. Kara strategized the perfect play for three weeks, learned everything she could from the library books”

“He didn’t make it back” Lena said. Crow’s town had been just a couple of miles away from the site of the battle where the King of Krypton had defeated her father’s army, and whilst Lionel had retreated –injured and beaten– Zor-El never left the field.

“No. His bones made it back, but Alura didn’t let Kara look at them” Alex's face was somber “I suppose it would have been cruel to give her bones instead of a father. She only pulls that out when she’s sad but she has never…played with it since”

Lena feels her eyes water “I didn’t know” if she had then she wouldn’t have dared to touch something so precious to Kara and tarnished it.

“You know” Alex calls her attention, noticing the upcoming tears “I don’t think I have ever heard her laugh when that chess is out. So, thank you”

The redhead sounds truly grateful and Lena tries to do an acceptable job at not railing off into another lapse of emotional crying, nodding and smiling because she isn’t sure what to say or if there is any way she could say it without choking up.

“Also remember that I can accurately hit a two-inch target on horseback” Alex added with a half-serious, half-humorous tone “in case you’re thinking about breaking my little sister’s heart”

“You won’t have to chase me if I do”

Alex finds that funny and laughs, satisfied at the response. Before they can talk about anything else there’s a knock on the door, and then the Queen enters the room, Lena starts to rise when Alura makes a calm gesture with her hand.

“Alex, could you give us a moment?”

“Of course” Alex lifts from the chair “Have you seen Eliza?”

“I believe I saw her in the library earlier”

With that the girl is off, giving Lena one last cordial nod before disappearing with confident steps. Alura closes the door behind her, no matter how kind the woman looks Lena always feels nervous when they are alone in the same room, insufficient someway. 

The Queen’s eyes widen a little when she sees the chessboard on display by Lena’s side but recovers her composure rather quickly “I heard Eliza is letting you move back to your room today”

“Oh, yes. After dinner” She says, correcting her posture in second nature.

“Good”

Silence follows for a moment and Lena is so unabatedly anxious she asks the first thing on her mind “is everything alright?”

Alura smiles at her “as alright as it can be, considering the circumstances. If Rao allows it we’ll have easier times in the upcoming months, and once winter hits we’ll have nothing but peaceful days”

“I hope so. I apologize if my stay has furthered your worries”

“Actually, you couldn’t have arrived at a better time,” Alura says candidly “we need you, Lena”

Her confusion appears to be exuberantly clear as Alura sits down beside her and explains “If we manage to defeat Lex, that still leaves us with no control over his Kingdom or his lords and now that Daxam is backing him…Rhea’s ambitions aren’t small, she won’t settle for submission now”

“I don’t understand, if you install a ruler on Umbra they-“

“They will overthrow it, I am already making plans to hopefully reach a sense of peace between Krypton and Daxam. Umbra, however, it’s a different story”

“Most of the Lords have put their men behind Lex’s cause. Once you repeal them it will be easy to claim their lands and put trustworthy people at their seats” Lena says.

“Take their lands and steal their families homes to divide them amongst our allies” Alura juggles the words in her mouth “that is what your father wanted to do with Krypton”

Lena is moderately angry at the comparison and not on her family’s behalf “Lionel was going to slaughter you all. You will be merciful, allow them to live under a just reign”

“Will your people see it like that?” Alura questions. 

She doesn’t answer the question “if you let them remain in their positions of power they will strike”

“if I push them out the outcome won’t be any different. The only person capable of controlling the Shadowlands is a Luthor” Alura says pointedly, glance fixated on Lena.

For a moment Lena doesn’t understand. Luthor’s are exactly what they all want to get rid of, especially as monarchs, so Alura’s statement makes no sense to her, at least not until the Queen raises her brow.

Lena’s mouth opens stupidly for a long second before she can stitch a sentence together “I’m not- you can’t be seriously considering _me_ ”

“You are Lionel’s daughter”

“His bastard daughter” Lena corrects and the more she thinks about it the more absurd it comes to be “Most of the nobles would slit my throat with a smile on their face and the Clergy…its utter nonsense”

Alura softens her stare, reaches to clasp her hand “Krypton will support your claim, and so will The Grants, Naltor and even Daxam if I manage to turn them around. You will have our protection and if my sources are true the people of Umbra will too, not the nobles but _your_ _people_ , the ones Lex has wronged and deemed inferior”

Lena clenches her teeth, overwhelmed by this new information and ready to bolt out of the room. Umbra has felt like nothing but a prison for so many years, she can’t rule it, doesn’t even want to go back to those halls of grey stone.

“I-I can’t. I’m sorry, Your Grace” Lena stutters.

If the Queen is half as disappointed as Lena is of herself she makes a wonderful work hiding it “it’s alright. I ought to know when I am asking for too much”

“If I could do it I would,” Lena says, feeling terrible “I want to give your family peace but…it will never work”

“I think you can do whatever your heart desires” Alura cradles her cheek “the path is up to you”

Then the moment passes swiftly by and the Queen stands “I must tend to some affairs but be sure to send for me if you need anything”

Lena nods and watches the woman retreat before she remembers “Alura”

The Kryptonian turns, one foot already through the door.

“When I woke, before leaving you said something” Lena recalls “I couldn’t understand you fully”

“Do you love my daughter?” the question pounces out of Alura’s mouth abruptly but Lena doesn’t have to think twice.

“Yes”

“ _khap rrip chad khuhtiv kehlish, inahmin_ ” Alura says, smiling to herself for a moment before translating “May your hearts be joined, always” Lena tilts her head in mild confusion and the older woman smiles in the same tender toothy way Kara does when she’s particularly happy.

“I gave you my blessing” Alura says simply and walks out.

Lena is left staring at the threshold of the room, positively perplexed.

…

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know how to tell you! It’s embarrassing” Kara squeaks “that’s not even how it’s supposed to go, there has to be a request first and a vetted vow with at least five days of official courtship to…don't laugh!”

Lena tries to, masking her giggle and scratching at Kara’s scalp “I just can’t believe that actually happened. Is it that easy for Kryptonian’s to establish royal marriages?”

Kara shook her head on Lena’s lap “No. It isn’t about marriage”

“oh?” Lena feels a little dumb, so she has been daydreaming about marrying the Princess when she shouldn’t, right, fuck.

“Not only about that anyway” Kara explains “it’s about the conjunction of two hearts, to remain together always, even among Rao’s light. Like saying here, now you are the same…soul? I guess” the blonde starts playing with her fingers and looking skittish “my parents used to say they were two halves of a heart but I don’t think I knew what that meant”

Kara kisses the back of her hand “until now”

Lena’s whole chest lightens and she leans down to kiss Kara, slowly, pours her whole heart into it. it takes her almost a minute to collect enough willpower to back away, she stares at Kara and her still closed eyes, the perfect cluster of freckles on her nose and cheeks.

“You want to marry me already, Princess?” Lena says teasingly but also, wishfully.

Kara pops her eyes open “Depends. Are you going to run in the other direction if I say yes?”

“I think I have made enough colossal mistakes, no need to add another one”

Lena swears she’s never seen someone smiling so wide, it almost hurts her cheeks just looking at Kara’s perfect teeth shining “well, I guess I will have to carve another Queen for my chessboard”

It’s said self-assured and happy, obliging Lena to roll her eyes even though she is secretly delighted “how did the drills go?”

“Astra was…I don’t know. She apologized but after she was very quiet” Kara says “and it wasn’t her usual quiet but a weird quiet”

“She’s probably just worried, being a General is a big responsibility. Especially when war is approaching” 

Kara pouts a little “I suppose that’s right”

They spend a bit more time talking as the afternoon stretches, the warm colors of the sky blending in with the vibrancy of the Royal garden. Lena thinks about how much of a turn her life has taken in just a few weeks, as Kara braids daisies into her hair and kisses her at the smallest of chances, she’s sure she has never known such joy.

“Your Highness”

The Guards appear suddenly, just as the sun starts to set and Kara lifts form the bench promptly as if she senses something Lena doesn’t.

“Simon” the blonde refers to the tallest, the man who had spoken “what is it?” 

“The Queen has requested you return to your rooms”

“Why?”

The Guard has an uncertain look and his attempt to hide it is poor “Her Majesty ordered us to escort you to the Keep” Kara seems taken back for a moment and Lena can feel the tension building up, the man remains firm under the Princess gaze.

“Lena” Kara extending her hand.

Judging by the attitude everyone is displaying she assumes there’s something grave happening, so she stands up quickly. Kara keeps holding her hand as they get escorted out of the garden, the six guards surrounding them protectively. She wants to ask what is going on but the quick pace of the man indicates there isn’t time for questions right now, and Kara’s jaw is set in the telltale way of concern.

Before they enter the Keep, Lena starts getting a tight feeling in her gut, something definitely isn’t right. A group of soldiers rushes out of the building, in a hurry and appearing somewhat startled.

“Kara, what is happening?”

The blonde squeezes her hand “I don’t know” her head turns to watch them go and then forward again, taps Simon on the back “what are your orders?”

“To get you upstairs”

“And after?” Kara presses.

The broad shoulders of the Guard sag as he sighs “Kara”

“What are your orders, Simon?”

He looks over his shoulder as they start climbing the stairs, looking grim “get you to your room, then head to the wall. Everyone available has been ordered to arm the battlements”

Kara’s face falls visibly and her step slows down at the information and Lena notices how she starts to get a little pale, it makes her heart race but then Kara morphs her face into a more stoic expression and drives them up the stair, faster than before. 

Once they reach the third floor Simon quickly strides for the room at the end of the hallway, opens the door and signals for them to get inside. Kara eyes him reluctantly and Lena stares between them.

“I’ll leave Cathcart and Goodall” he points to two of his guys “Astra should be on her way, do not leave this room without her, here” a third guy hands him a sword, Kara’s sword. Simon gives it to the Princess.

“My mother?” Kara questions, grabbing the weapon “Alex?”

“They will be here soon,” He says simply “get in”

Kara stops him just before he closes the door “Captain” he pauses with the nob on his hand “I- thank you”

His smile looks weirdly contemplative “You better give me a whole lot of ale once this is done” and then he locks them in.

They both stare at the plain wood for long seconds, pondering how brusquely the situation has changed. Lena swallows heavily, it has to be Lex but it doesn’t make sense, the opening of trade roads is still five days away and that’s when she was supposed to poison the El’s.

“He lied to me” she realizes, tempted to laugh at her idiocy.

Kara knocks her head back, hands on her hips “Of course he did. That swindling snake, why wouldn’t he?”

 _But I’m his sister_ Lena thinks pathetically. It’s not surprising, her brother has never trusted her with his full cooked plans and he holds on to information like a hoarder gobbling but he never lied to her. Not so bluntly and certainly not setting her up so theatrically.

“It doesn’t matter, we can defend the city” Kara says but her hands tremble as she tries to buckle her scabbard onto her hips.

Lena has the upending feeling that the Princess is lying to herself. She has noticed how deserted the castle is, most of the soldiers are marching south to face Daxam or holding the West border. Lucy is all the way in Tal’ash with a quarter of Krypton’s forces to support a false reopening of borders that will most likely turn into a bloodbath.

Now Lex has somehow made it to an unprotected Argo and even for someone with only theoretical knowledge on battles, she knows they can’t protect the city. Maybe they could hold the castle for a few days but there will eventually be a breach.

“Fuck” Kara shouts as she fights with the leather of her sword’s sheath, Lena stops her from twisting it in frustration. Her fingers are shaky but still functional and she manages to string the garment nicely, Kara looks at her with agitated breathing. “I’m sorry”

Lena shakes her head “I might faint very soon so don’t feel bad about it”

It makes Kara laugh loudly with a nervous undertone “My dad never got scared”

“I think he did” she runs gentle hands over Kara’s neck “bravery in the absence of fear is meaningless. Is untrue.” 

Kara stares at her in awe “Have I told you I love you today?”

“Over a dozen times” she says

The blonde tilts her chin down, hands more steady as they cup Lena’s face to pull her gently into a chaste kiss “I love you”

“ _khap zhao rrip”_ she mutters back and Kara lights up.

It only takes ten minutes for Kara to get antsy again, Lena is pretty sure were she not there the blonde would be busting out or perhaps she wouldn’t have obeyed the orders at all. As the wait turns into half an hour Lena gives up, lets Kara walk around the room with a maniacal pace as she speaks to herself and curses under her breath.

“This is ridiculous, I’m going to find my mother” Kara says finally, but the door opens before she can get to it.

Astra steps in, barely holding eye contact with her niece before she’s turning away again “We have to go”

“What?” Kara asks.

“We have to go” Astra says in a hard tone that compels them to move.

Lena almost trips down the stairs but Kara holds on to her tightly as they keep moving, rushing around the halls and taking a detour that leads them into some part of the castle Lena has never seen, though Kara seems to recognize it immediately.

“Astra, what is going on?” Kara calls, just as her aunt takes a hard left.

They lose sight of her for a moment but when they go around the corner Astra is gone. Lena freaks out for a moment about the sudden act of vanishing before Kara marches them forward, behind a tall column and hidden by the shadows there is a narrow entrance to a room.

Inside there’s a scarce collection of furniture: a dusty table, a chair with a broken leg and a bed that looks like it’s been untouched for decades, at the far left there’s a bunch of barrels, Astra is moving some of them away from the wall. Lena sees rock until the General rolls a third barrel and then there’s wood plies contrasting with the solid wall.

“We’re running?” Kara’s disbelief is evident, as Astra forces her feet through the wood.

“Your mother’s orders” The general says with a pettish tone, aggressively pushing the weakened plies with her boot “She’s taking the passage under the kitchens with Alex and Eliza, we’ll meet at the collapsed mill on krym forest”

The Princess frowns “So we’re just abandoning our people then”

Astra gives her a cold look “if Lex gets us it’s over. After he kills us the crown is for the taking”

“Our allies-“

“Our allies are not here, Lex made sure of that by sending _her_ ” Astra’s finger points in Lena’s direction “she made us concentrate all of our troops south and west. Made us sent our fleet away and now he’s made it to the bay with ten thousand soldiers”

Lena feels dirty, the unsubtle accusation striking her heavily on the chest. Kara puts an arm in front of her protectively, despite the fact Astra has made no move in their direction. 

“Alura made those decisions” Kara says defensively.

“With the information she gave us!” Astra turns her heated stare to the younger girl “You assured us that Umbra had no naval capabilities”

“I-It doesn’t” Lena chokes out.

Kara lifts her hand in an appeasing gesture “Umbra has no access to seas. Neither does Daxam”

“But Saturn does” Astra’s lips twitch in anger and since her niece seems too confused to answer she continues “Lex has found himself a new friend that Lena forgot to tell us about. Isn’t that right? What else are you hiding?”

Lena shakes her head “trust me, I didn’t know about this or I would’ve told you”

“Trust _you_?” Astra spits, walking up to her so fast Lena recoils.

She never finds out what the General’s intentions were since Kara steps in front of her “Don’t-“ the blonde catches herself before she says something nasty, and she wants to very much, so much in fact that her fists are clenching.

Kara settles for deflection “This isn’t helping. Lena told us everything she knew, you might not trust her but I do” she says firmly, ignoring the split second where Astra smiles in mockery like that’s the most idiotic thing she has heard “did my mother order you to set up an interrogation or an escape?”

Astra narrows her eyes at the retort but turns to kick the last pieces of wood and motions for them to get down. Kara goes first, handling the small drop easily and aiding Lena next. The blonde murmurs a quiet ‘sorry’ before Astra falls next to them, the General spares them a quiet look before heading down the dark passage.

Lena is grateful for Kara’s hand in hers since she can’t see anything that’s further than two steps. She loses Astra out of sight almost immediately, only hearing the thud of her boots ahead as she leads them. It must be a few minutes but Lena thinks is endless, the disoriented feeling of the pitch-black space is overwhelming but Kara’s presence calms her.

When the open night finally receives them back into the outside world Lena feels relived, that is until she sees Kara’s face contort into sorrowfulness. The walls are high so they can see the city but the orange glow that spreads into the night is enough to deduce that it must be on fire, at least a part of it.

“Let’s go” Astra urges. When the Princess doesn’t move she tugs at her shoulder, Kara shrugs her off but stars moving.

Astra leads them into the thick woods and Lena wishes that she had the same agility to speed through the deep forest at night, aware that she’s slowing them down despite Kara’s help to steady her. They went on for a while, disturbing the mostly quiet night with their steps but eventually, the vegetation started to part allowing her to catch sight of some shadows ahead. The mill was at most a ruin and Lena wondered briefly what had happened to it. Behind a mossy wall there’s three horses tied to a young tree.

Kara’s anger returned “What is this?” her voice evolved into a growl “where is my mother?”

Astra did not need to respond. Three horses, three riders. That was it.

“What did you do?” Kara’s hand pulled her aunt by the shirt and Lena feared a fight would begin.

The General didn’t react “I am obeying the Queen’s commands”

A second first came to crumple Astra’s clothing as Kara shouted in her face “what does that mean!”

“Alura is surrendering the city. She told me to get you to Kandor safely”

Lena saw the devastation on the blonde’s face “Kara” she tried to call her back from her pain.

Astra kept speaking “We don’t have a lot of time before they realize you two are missing, if we go now we will be ahead of them. Once we get to Kandor we will rejoin with J’onn and Cat, then we can try to bring some troops back here”

“Are you mad?” Kara lets go, hands going to her head “are you fucking mad? You left her there?”

“She ordered me to”

Kara looks revolted, her throat expands visibly with every breath she takes. Lena doesn’t know what to do, she reaches to offer some comfort but the blonde evades her. The Princess takes a step back, stares absently at the ground as the words ring loudly on her ears, she turns to the direction they came from and considers running back.

“They must be swarming in by now,” Astra says “you won’t make it”

Kara doesn’t hear it, she can’t hear anything. It’s like she’s underwater.

Lena’s face appears in a blink and she stares at her moving lips but she can’t make out the words. Her chest feels tight, like there’s an iron anvil over it that’s crushing her slowly. She wonders if that is what dying feels like or if it’s feather-light. _I saw her this morning_ , Kara thinks, _she said it would be a busy day but we’d see each other for supper._

She can’t remember what she responded. Did she respond at all? Did she say she loved her?

She feels an icy touch as something tugs on her neck, cranes her face downwards. Lena’s eyes look a little frantic, as they search her face in worry for a response or a speck of awareness that tells her Kara is there. She makes an effort to pay attention, to come back and wipe the sad look on her face.

“-Kara” Lena sounds sweet and a bit distorted by the roar of her rampant pulse “love, please tell me you can hear me”

“Lena?”

The girl nods “yes, it’s me”

Kara blinks forcefully as she returns to reality, only now realizing she has walked several feet away from the mill. Astra has moved with them but remains out of reach, hovering near with a hesitant expression.

“I know this is hard” Lena speaks “but we have to go. If you go back there Lex will kill the both of you, but if we leave now he will likely keep your mom alive. It’s not like him to settle for less than what he wants and he wants you”

Her mouth is desert dry and she feels Astra’s heavy gaze, she hides from it by closing in on Lena, who lets her slump forward for comfort. Her face lands somewhere against the junction of her neck and jaw, Lena runs a hand down her back.

“I’m sorry, my love” she can hear the pain and it’s like she knows about the anvil atop her chest and wishes she could lift it “I’m so sorry”

Ultimately she manages to reel back her emotions only because Lena is there, and she might be a wreck but Kara won’t let her down as well. Won’t let Lex get his nasty grip back to tamper with her newfound freedom.

She takes in air, inhaling loudly before she lifts her head again “Thank you, _Zhao_ ” she drops a short kiss near Lena’s ear before facing Astra “we will have to go slow, or the horses will break a leg”

“Better slow than not at all” Astra said, confident on her knowledge of the terrain.

Between Argo and Kandor lay long leagues, rugged hills, thick woods, wild rivers, and more obstacles than she cared to contemplate. Kara had made the trip time and time again, if they picked up the main road ahead and rested little they could be there in a little over two days.

She was securing Lena onto the horse when she saw the two riders moving towards them, her aunt only beat her in the draw for a fraction of a second and then their swords were out glinting in the moonlight.

“There’s only two” Kara said

Astra whispered beside her “we only _see_ two, hoist up, we don’t want to be on the ground if they-“

A melodic whistle came carried by the wind. Kara responded instinctively, made the shape with her mouth and whistled the familiar tone. When the figures came into view she felt so relieved she almost dropped to her knees.

“Oh Rao, thank you” Alex hopped down the horse and crashed into her, almost got impaled by the sword but Kara moved it out of the way fast.

“You didn’t think I was going to leave you unsupervised, did you?”

Kara let out a wet chuckle “of course not, but how?”

“I’m your protector remember? Alura wouldn’t send you into danger without me”

“You knew?”

Alex made a face “She told me ten minutes ago and sent me off, I was afraid I wouldn’t catch up” her brows furrowed “I tried to get my mom to come but…well, she wouldn’t leave”

Kara rubbed her sister’s arm. if they made it out of this alive Alura and Eliza will have to cook thousands of pies to make up for this sacrificial bullshit.

“I grabbed Sam and ran” she signals to the brunette behind her “it’s alright though, we just have to bring some cavalry and Lex is going to be pissing himself at which moment I will proceed to sever his dick from his body”

“Alright, let’s move” Astra called already hopping atop her horse.

Kara turned to look in the direction of her home one last time before parting. She couldn’t see it, the trees were tall and they were far already, but she knew it was there.

“I’ll come back” she said to herself. For the city. For Alura. And for the bloody King of Shadows.

…

Lex’s eyes were clear, so clear indeed that they almost seemed transparent, Alura stared into those soulless pits of ice. They stared right back, with a crooked smile of amusement as he sat on her throne.

“I have to admit your architecture is delightful, strong and regal” he ran a finger over his lip “Complex yet…unpretentious”

Alura watched him stand up, tilt his head to look at the stained glass vault of Rao that would shine once morning hit it, lighting up the room with red.

“Spectacular. Far more than what I’d have to say about your Generals” his mockery built back up “Hurtling where they should not be, a waste really. I have heard about your military prowess but so far I’m quite disappointed”

“Surely your father must have told you about it. He witnessed it first-hand” Alura’s tone is neutral but it doesn’t go over the King's head.

Lex’s left hand came up to tap his forehead as in remembrance “oh, yes. Crow’s town” he looked down at her from his vantage point “how many ballads have I heard about the way your husband stepped into battle, roaring like a wild beast” 

“But the wild beasts die and the crows eat them all the same”

Alura remained quiet and that seemed to please him.

“Now, you took a very wise decision by surrendering the city and I am uttermost happy. I wouldn’t want to ruin a night so peaceful with carnage so” he finally descended and feigned cordiality by putting a hand on her shoulder “care to tell me where my sister and- the other one, the tall and quite swaggering young Princess?”

“Probably out on an evening stroll”

Lex smiled at the ballsy retort, menacing and calm “I sure hope I can help them make their way back. I’ve been looking forward to having a chat with the two of you, for fifteen years”

Alura lifts her chin “Have you finally learned how to pick a sword, Lex? Because if you want to take down my daughter you’re going to need it”

“I have plenty of swords right here” his arms rise and the men behind him all stand as a testimony, as is the fallen figure of her captain somewhere to the right. The blood pooling around him sticky, Simon had always been a man of smiles, but his face is now rigid and discolored. Alura had ordered him to surrender, he had but one of the Umbrainians had cut him down regardless, and Lex didn’t bat an eye.

The Queen scoffed “Kal-El did mention you were a tad bit squeamish” 

Lex’s eyes lit with anger at the name. Alura braced herself for a hit that never came, instead, the King’s fingers gripped the chin she had trusted upwards with pride.

“Don’t worry too much about your daughter, I’ll make sure she returns to us safely and then…” the grip got firmer, painful. He licked his lips “I will show you precisely what my _squeamish_ nature foists” Alura contained the urge to spit in his face and by the way he smiled, so wickedly, he knew his threat had been successful enough.

“Find the Princess and my sister, bring them back alive” Lex called to a knight to his left -the one with the cruel dark eyes- then directed his look at her once more to finish the sentence “whoever’s with them, bring me their heads”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you are all doing well wherever you are <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will probably have to add one or two chapters because i'm dumb and put in unnecessary scenes that make this way too long

The trees were huge and dark, somehow threatening. Their limbs wove through one another and creaked with every breath of wind, and their higher branches scratched at the face of the moon.

 _The sooner we are out of here_ , _the better I will like it,_ Kara thought.

Krym forest runs for miles down south, as a child Alex had told stories to scare her about how people got lost in it, swallowed by the tall trees never to be seen again. The truth is if you walk with the stars aligned it stops at Tarim river, and despite the thick covering of the trees Kara can still see _iudah_ shining on the sky so they must be going in the right direction for now.

She’s not paying too much attention to their advance anyway, eyes glued to the back of Astra’s figure ahead. Her anger is still there despite the cold night, at this point she thinks that’s all she has inside to warm her up.

It would do them no favors if she obeyed her wishes to start a fight, but if she starts to deviate from that rage her thoughts will fly back to Alura. So she holds on to that fire like a lifeline.

Beside her, Lena is quiet, probably just as preoccupied with her own mental machinations. Kara sees, how her back is tense and her brows are creased, the girl is looking inside her brain for answers that aren’t there _. ‘He lied’_ Lena had said it with such blankness, as her whole understanding of the situation faded into clear uncertainty.

“Don’t hold them so tight” Kara spoke, for the first time in hours.

Lena whipped her head to the side “what?”

“The reigns” Aoife flared his nostrils again in discomfort.

“Oh, forgive me, boy” Lena let loose, petting him in the neck “The dark is a bit unsettling”

“Yes, it can be. Though it could be worst” she said, gesturing at the moon as it peered down through the branches.

Lena fell into silence for a moment “He didn’t tell me of Saturn”

“I know” Kara replied in a validating tone.

The girl shook her head “I should have known he had some other trick”

“All of us should’ve” Kara admitted “but it’s too late for blame”

There is only forward now. Assuming Lex had more vile plans should have been at the top of their minds but he had played a good card, sending Lena and expecting her to turn sides to give away partial information. Evil but clever, to lure them into a false sense of security.

Kara pictured his face. Thought about the many ways she could wipe that ugly smirk off. Imagined him dead and bloodied, she would stand over him and be released of her anger once his limbs all sagged.

Her father had always told her that one never ought to rejoice in a person’s death, especially if you killed them because it was a life regardless. _It will rot your heart inside_ , he had said with serious eyes after Kara asked him about her uncle’s murderer execution. Zor-El had to be lying about not having liked it -she understood now- when Zod’s head separated from his body her father probably smiled.

Kara shall smile too, once she has her hands on Lex Luthor.

The night ran long but they kept going, battling the dark, the cold and the exhaustion to continue their advance. When the terrain allowed for it they pushed the pace to cover as much distance as possible before morning came, at which point they would be far more visible.

“Astra” Kara called, the third time she caught Lena shivering, “I think we should rest”

The General seemed inclined to deny her when Alex spoke, trotting up from the back of the formation “I second that, there must be only an hour before sunrise. We will move faster once the sun is up” 

Astra relented, halting her horse and staring anxiously at the forest “Alright. An hour”

When Kara hops down from her saddle her legs are numb, to her left Lena tries an ungraceful dismount and her feet get caught up in one of the stirrups. Kara makes her way over rapidly to free her, Lena holds on to her with relief and she can feel how cold the girl is.

“You’re freezing,” Kara says worriedly as she rubs her hands up and down Lena’s arms.

“You aren’t” Lena retorts, happily leaning into her warm chest.

Kara hums as she brings her arms around the smaller girl, wanting to light a fire but knowing how monumentally stupid that would be.

Astra gives them a long look, lips turn over in a displeased expression before finally talking “I’ll take watch. Sleep if you can”

“Hey” her sister’s interruption is welcomed, otherwise, she might punch Astra in the face “I brought this with me”

The familiar red fabric is a gratifying feel on her fingers “Thank you, Alex” she places it over Lena “what do you know?”

Alex turns serious at the inquiry “the ships made it to the bay during the night. They took out the few men still at their posts, by the time your mother realized they were at our door”

“How many ships?”

“Not more than ours. Saturn isn’t big, the Titan isles aren't abnormally big despite their name” Alex says, unimpressed “They mostly stick to commerce, I don’t understand why they are siding with Lex now”

Lena lifts her head “He must have promised them land here, just like he did to everyone else.”

Kara sighs “Great. How much power does that add to his forces?”

“Even if James makes it back with the Naltorians, they will still outnumber us. Not to mention they have a positional advantage: south, west and now north” Alex shakes her head “our forces will be cornered and if we lose there’s only east, The Grant”

“Cat has moved too many of her forces here and Carter is only a boy. If Krypton falls The Grant will be next. Retreating will only dilate confrontation” Astra says in a monotone tone “if we can’t beat them here, before winter hits…”

“We will all die” Kara finishes.

Sam laughs, Kara had forgotten she was even here.

The tall brunette is casually sitting with her back against a tree, sword perched beside her and her smile is wide and charming. Her loud outburst has gained her attention and she flushes with embarrassment, Alex makes a small noise Kara recognizes as a low-pitch hum of endearment.

“Forgive me, Your Highness” Sam scratches her ear “I just-“ she shrugs and switches her glare to Alex “I was starting to like my place in the world and now the whole thing is crumbling. My damn luck” 

Kara hears a dry chuckle and crooks her hear to see the same glint of humor in Lena’s eyes.

“Me too” Lena says.

“You are clearly out of it” Kara's smile is small but is there “Better put you to sleep”

She does just that, laying down on the most comfortable patch of greenery she can find, just beside a tall tree. Kara kicks away stones and acorns before receiving Lena’s weight as the girl drifts off into a light slumber. Kara traces the outline of a dark brow soothingly, feeling the languid breathing of the sleeping girl against her ribs.

As the night withdrawals and the sky turns from black to blue she manages some stillness of thought. She stares up at the cloud of leaves hearing the early birds sing to the rising sun and resting her lips against Lena’s forehead. She cries, for a moment, as her mind stops proposing thoughts of destruction and allowing the sadness inside her to fizz out in silent tears.

Astra reappears from a round of scouting ready to wake them up, seems struck by the view of her niece crying under a tree. The General sits down on a prominent root near them and stares at her boot, then to Alex snoring softly against Sam’s shoulder just some feet away and then back to Kara.

“I didn’t want to leave her”

“You promised you wouldn’t leave her side again” Kara accuses.

“I know, but your mother committed me to a new vow” Astra’s clear blue eyes get clouded “I don’t love her any less than you love Alex, if I could have stayed I would have and if I could switch places with her I would.”

It doesn’t satisfy her at all “if Lex kills her…”

“I won’t forgive myself, and you won’t either” Astra lowers her head in recognition “You can hate me for as long as you want, Kara”

“Good” Kara turns her head away angrily. She realized glumly her anger was towards Alura too, for lying again. For not even saying goodbye before sending her away.

Astra seems to accept her response and she rises again but pauses, making a false attempt at speaking before clearing her throat to try a second time “I do not regret doing whatever I must to keep you safe, Kara. I never will”

Kara bit her lip and closed her eyes thigh. Of course, Astra would say something like that, so honestly and precluding to her stubbornness to stay mad.

“I don’t hate you” Kara clarified, tightlipped but truthful, because how could she ever. 

Her aunt breathed deep with relief “Thank you for saying that”

She continued still, “and I would really like it if you stopped putting blame on Lena. You don’t trust easily, I get that. But I’m not letting you punish her for what Lex has done”

The General eyes the smaller girl cuddled again her niece and Kara catches the flash of remorse on her face. “Rao never granted me the grace of a _giehrimzhaol_ ”

Kara blinks with surprise, not in her life has she heard Astra use that word. A soulmate is a pretty antique notion that is mostly referred to on old Kryptonian poems.

“I respected my husband, because of his strength” Astra rubs the inside of her wrist, where her marriage bracelet used to rest, a show of vulnerability that is rarely seen “I never loved him and when he threatened to kill you and your mother my respect died, it turned to hate”

The speech took a pause and Kara knew her aunt was thinking back to it, to how close she'd been to losing it all. 

“so I do not understand how you feel,” Astra said gravelly “and I fear I have done wrong because of that ignorance but I won’t anymore. Forgive me, little one, for hurting your beloved”

“It’s her you should apologize to”

“I will” Astra agreed “when we are not in such a rush. I promise”

Kara nodded, her anger receding and the General gave her a modest smile and a warm look. It lodges in her heart, that Astra has built such a scary reputation, only to stare at her with so much love. 

Once Astra walks off to wake the other two sleeping women Kara brushes a hand over Lena’s back gently, whisper’s her name softly, sad at having to wake her. 

Lena blinks her eyes open slowly and clings to her with more propose as her awareness sets in.

“Hello”

Lena lifts her chin lazily “ _ehsit?_ ”

Kara’s heart flutters with adoration “yes, time to wake up. I’m sorry, I wish you could sleep a little longer”

Lena doesn’t look too disgruntled about it, even though Kara notices how restless she is and once she’s on her feet its clear her body is sore.

“I’m fine, my love” the brunette reassures after Kara’s third worried glance.

“Aye,” Alex comes over and offers some bread and berries “I’m going to spread out a little, see if I can catch a rabbit for later. Sam is going to cover your rear, alright?”

“Don’t stray too much” Kara pleads.

Alex pats her in the back “I won’t, meet you back in a couple of miles. Keep those peeps open though”

Kara watches her sister waif south-west with her bow ready, she’s consoled by the fact that Alex is a quick hunter so it shouldn’t take her long.

They start moving again, at a much quicker pace now that the sun is out. At her left Lena struggles to keep up so eventually Kara has to trail behind her to make sure she stays with the group, and the girl looks as apologetic as she does fatigued. Kara hates it, wishes they could stop and have a proper rest on a proper bed, weren’t it for Astra leading the unforgiving pace.

She knows they need to advance regardless of her desires, her consolation is the knowledge that by tomorrow’s nightfall they should arrive at Kandor and there Lena will be safe and able to rest.

It takes them less than an hour to make it to Tarim river, its clear current breaking the line of trees to reveal the upcoming hills they’d have to travel. Spring has brought the steam to lower flow that hopefully will let them cross without much trouble.

“We should wait for Alex,” she says to her aunt who’s looking eager to cross “She won’t be long.”

Astra sighs “She better not. I don’t like all this delay”

Kara tries not to react to the distinguishable irk on her voice after all Astra is the kind of person that would ride for days without sleep and stay miraculously lucid. In this particular circumstance that's a precious skill, unfortunately, the General isn’t riding by herself and Kara can understand her urging. Every minute they waste is a minute her mother is in the hands of their enemies, but she’s not willing to leave anyone else behind.

Lena looks miserable and yet she offers a smile once Kara walks over, she pets Aoife fleetingly as the horse drinks water before sitting in front of her.

“How are you feeling?”

Lena’s hair is tousled beautifully by the wind “if I say well would you believe me?”

Kara gives her a knowing smile “You don’t have to lie to me, _zrhueiao_ ”

“I honestly don’t understand how you do this” Lena loses a little tension on her shoulders “I feel half-dead”

“Your body gets used to it with time” she thumbs Lena’s cheek affectionately “does it hurt a lot?”

The girl’s tighs shift, and Kara understands immediately. She sneaks a look back, locates Astra somewhat distracted with her daggers and Sam munching on an apple. Her hands carefully arrange the fabric of Lena’s dress, so she can have access to her legs.

“Lena-“she cuts off, hesitantly edging around where the pale thighs are red and raw “why didn’t you say anything?”

“It’s not that bad…just a little achy”

Kara gives her a reprimanding look “if you need to we could go slower”

“No, we can’t. You know we can’t” Lena says “I’ve already been slowing us down”

Her brows knit together “don’t say that” she leans in to kiss Lena briefly “you are not a burden in any way, alright?”

Lena looks unsure so Kara pecks her again and again until she smiles a little “I’m so-“ the brunette catches herself “I’m _not_ going to apologize”

“Yes! That’s my girl” Kara cheers and watches Lena flush prettily under the early morning sun.

She spends the next five minutes sinking her hands in the fresh water of the running river and pressing them softly to the red spots of Lena’s inner thighs, to cool down the irritated skin.

Kara sighs “Eliza says chamomile is good for this, if I could find some…” she looks around, wishfully thinking maybe she’ll find some of the flowers but there’s only grass.

“It already feels a lot better” Lena puts her smaller hand over Kara’s “you could have been a healer in another life”

“I’m not sure I’d be fielded for the job,” Kara says bashfully “El’s are a little rough-handed”

Lena brings up her hand and kisses the inside of her wrist “I think they’re perfect”

Kara puts up a fake contemplation “is it possible, my lady, that you might be starting to fall for my charms?”

“Perhaps it’s the other way around” Lena slips in the impeccable throatiness that stirs Kara’s desire, makes her want to flop belly up like a lounging kitten.

 _Rao, she could ask me to do anything_ , Kara thinks. The sun is starting to shine brighter but she knows that’s not why her body feels heated.

She clears her throat “yes, well…uh, once we get to Kandor my aunt Lara can help. She has magical hands, I got the pox once and if it weren’t for her I would’ve scratched my face off. Oh, and her husband was quite the historian fanatic I’m sure he’s got more of that thing you wanted to read on that relator”

“Drefel Cadarn” Lena supplies, with shiny eyes of interest.

“Yes” Kara nods “I’m sure you can find his work there, Lara won’t mind the company”

Lena’s eyes narrow “Company?”

“Of course she will be happy to receive you”

“Receive me?” Lena says confusedly “Kara, I don’t think there will be time for hospitality if we want to return to Argo before Lex has caused even more destruction”

The Princess tilts her head “well, no. We will ready as many battalions as possible and depart but you can tell me about this Cadarn when I am back”

Lena blinks twice “Kara, I am not staying in Kandor. I’m coming back with you”

“ _Zhao_ -“

“I don’t care how many miles that is, alright? I can get used to it, Kara. I will be faster and won’t slow down”

Kara shakes her head “it’s not about that, Lena. You can’t come to battle with us, it isn’t safe”

“I’m not going to stay back while you try to defeat my brother, Kara,” Lena says with incredibility “Do you have any idea how it feels to know I brought this upon you? you expect me to just pretend that I'm innocent“

“You have done nothing” Kara jumps in “there is not a single thing that I blame you for. I can’t- I am not letting you near that city until I know there’s no chance of you getting hurt”

“Letting me? Unless you plan to imprison me there is no way I won’t be by your side”

Kara huffs at the stubbornness “Listen, I know he’s your family and despite it all that means something. I understand but you don’t know what he is capable of yet, what he might do”

“oh, right,” Lena says with sarcasm “I have lived with him my whole life. I know what he was before and what he is now”

“Maybe, but do you want to see it?” Kara can see the doubt blooming “You love him. I’ve seen it. He will turn into a whole different person in your eyes”

Lena doesn’t bother to deny it “Are you making this about me so it’s easier?”

“No” she means it, Lex may be a monster to her but she has witnessed the way Lena’s eyes still hold fondness’ when she’s telling some childhood story. There is also the fact that she is terrified to have everyone she cares about in a battlefield. 

Kara is sure she won’t survive losing more. “I am trying to protect you, please let me”

“Kara, if I am not there and you lose Lex will just come south for me. It makes no difference”

“No!”

Lena is startled by the sudden loudness and judging by how her eyes drift to the side so are Astra and Sam, but Kara doesn’t turn to confirm that suspicion.

She sets her gaze on the sharp lines of Lena’s features, the slight pout of her lips and the uplifted brows, her green eyes matching the backdrop of the forest behind her.

A whole-body shiver moves through her “I can’t lose you, Lena” it is sad and at last, awfully selfish but the truth “I love you and I won’t walk you into a slaughter”

It’s devastating enough that she has to do that to Astra or Alex, that she might have to watch them fall.

“You won’t lose me” 

Kara feels her jaw twitch “you don’t know that”

“And you?” Lena’s expression switches to something more determined “can you promise me I won’t be left waiting for you? You tell me you can’t lose me, well, I can’t lose you”

“Lena”

“No” the tone is keen and Kara feels it, lapping at her skin like warm rain “you are half my heart so I’m with you, always”

Kara stared and saw no hesitation, Lena was going to follow her and there was nothing she could say to change her mind.

She wanted to scream, why had Rao decided to send _her zhao_ now? When she was too weak to defend her, when defeat seemed almost certain, when she had nothing to offer but an impending butchery.

Lena scooted forward with her dress still lifted and her knees dragging over the grazing land until they were close, and then she put Kara’s hand over her chest, almost too forcefully. “I am half your heart, zhi?”

“ _Zhi_ ” Kara said strongly, she doesn’t even like that sentence put on a question.

“Then don’t ask me to abandon you”

She swallows, pinned in position by Lena’s firm stare. It’s more than a claim stake, more than the fact that they are each other’s now. Lena won’t abandon her, just like Kara herself wouldn’t, the only thing that can separate them now is death. Even then, she’d follow.

Is it fair to demand from Lena something she would never do? No, because then she’d be like Alura, sending her off with lies, taking away the choices and leaving only heartbreak. That is not protection, is coercion. Her family has done that enough, one-sided decisions that only branched off into new hurt.

“You’re right” Kara acknowledges “I’m sorry, it’s-“

A high pitch squeal irrupts and Kara’s mouth stays stuck open, she turns and sees Sam –who had just been next to her horse a moment ago- on the ground.

The animal has reared, standing on its hind legs expelling a wail and Kara sees the strange object sticking out of its side. Soon enough another bolt comes and the horse tumbles back as it pierces its neck.

“Kara!”

Astra’s shout coaxes her into action, she jumps to her feet just as the men surface from the woods. Kara doesn’t bother to count, she just knows there are more than enough to make this an unfair fight. She drags Lena up and pushes her behind as she draws her longsword, Sam has recovered from her fall and fumbles to get her’s, the one that had been hanged at her saddle.

“Stop moving or I’ll put one in you”

Sam looks up to find a crossbow pointing menacingly at her, weld by a huge man with greasy hair and yellow teeth. Following the tree line, there’s more of them, men of the King wearing Umbra’s grey and purple.

“Otis” somewhere in the middle a man moves, the leading one “who do you have there?”

The crossbow lowers slightly as he examines her “Some cunt, I don’t think she’s worth shit. Do I kill her?”

“Let’s not, yet.” The man says calmly, then he surveys the rest of the company backed up against the river. His lips curl upwards “Lena, good thing I found you. Your brother has been worried about you, I’m glad you’re still looking so _lovely_ ”

Lena breathes heavily, glancing at him over Kara’s shoulder “still my brother’s little bitch, I see” her voice is shaky but the sentiment gets through.

Lockwood laughs “oh, are we in that feisty mood, Lena? it’s a fortune I have always known how to handle your indiscretions”

He takes a step forward and in the sun Lena sees the faint long scratch she had left on his cheek, almost gone after so many years.

The others follow his path, pushing forwards at his lead. Lena knows them all, it’s Lex’s usual crew of retribution to deliver the King’s justice, all of them scared up and cruel but loyal to their master.

Deathly and effective, so much so Lena feels herself start to tremble and panic.

“If you turn around now, you’ll be alive a couple of days longer” Astra’s voice is steely. Her sword is still sheathed but her stance makes it obvious that could change in less than a second.

“Astra In-Ze” his eyes glint “I remember the last time I saw you, spearing down man left and right. Ruthless, a perfectly breed killer.” his finger lifted and scratched the ample nose “Lionel almost wanted to keep you for entertainment, you know? He told me not to kill you, but you weren’t there in the end, were you?”

“If I had you’d be dead”

He ignored the quip “I never thought you the kind to run off a battlefield, never the less here you are. Running away again like a gaunt dog, so I guess you were never as strong as everyone thought”

The mockery in his tone made Kara’s blood boil but Astra didn’t show a single twitch “Walk away before I have to ruin my sword with your guts”

“My sire has asked for your presence. Well, for theirs” he points at the young pair and Lena feels gelid “but I think he will appreciate me delivering the Queen’s twin. Your friend here, however, I don’t think he’s going to want her”

His eyes drift to Sam, still on her knees on the direct path of the next bolt “so, if you come with us and save us the trouble of making this a skirmish we will dispatch her kindly. Right, Otis?”

Otis shrugs unhappily but changes his aim from Sam’s lower region to her head.

“How about that? She won’t feel a thing” he pushes his chest forward. His proud generosity is met by silence and he frowns “no? I thought we could find common ground. Alright, how about this: you come with us or we cut your friend into pieces, her legs and arms…maybe her screams will change your mind”

He goes to grab his sword handle but Astra beats him to it, he chuckles darkly “really?” another two men lift their crossbows to point at the General “I don’t think you understand your position right now”

“Do you?” Astra asks daring, her Longsword upright and imposing like bared wolf’s canine.

Ben Lockwood losses patience and his jaw sets into a tight square “Otis, let’s try to be persuasive. Shoot the bitch in the leg”

“Sam!” Lena doesn’t think before moving but Kara catches her by the waist before she takes another step.

The blonde looks franticly at her aunt but Astra has her eyes forward as if she’s clearly seeing through the act and refuses to do something dumb, Lockwood has made a mistake by appealing to sensibilities she doesn’t have.

“She’s not who you’re after, let her go” Kara attempts to reason but the man is readying to shoot.

Otis grins cruelly “come on, get up. It’s no fun if you’re not standing, you can run even” 

Sam glance goes from him to the trio of royals, several feet away but within running distance. Kara meets her eye, the terrified jittering of brown eyes as she realizes that they can’t save her and it makes the blonde want to run to protect her.

All the while Ben waits for them to do exactly that, so in control, he rests his hands on his belt. Lena is still weakly wriggling in her arms and Kara feels bad for trying to stop her.

“Go on, let’s see how far you make it”

Sam stands with surprisingly firm legs, and at that moment Kara notices two things, as the world slows down to a snail pace, and her pulse spikes crazily. Firstly the hand Sam keeps clutched behind her back, the heavy rock pulling down her wrist in an awkward angle as she tries to keep it hidden. Secondly, a flash of black at the edge of the woods, a blur that she doesn’t recognize until the time starts passing again at a much quicker pace. 

“Agh!” the rock collides with the man’s face almost silently, all but a wet thud before Sam starts running. He shoots but the accuracy is lost now that there’s blood dripping into his eye, the tall brunet manages to avoid the projectile. 

The black horse speeds down the river line swiftly and Kara swears is like her sister is flying. Otis gets the first arrow through the chest and the second one between the eyes, curtsy of a very pissed off Alex. The woman manages two more shots, one piercing the belly of a lunging man with an ax and the second one going through the second crossbowman’s throat.

However the third one manages to shot and the bolt hits her in the exposed thigh, Kara hears the grunt and sees the shifting of the stirrup as Alex’s leg twitches with pain. Fortunately, Astra digs out one of her daggers and sends it to plunge inside the shooter’s chest before he can reload his weapon.

Then all hell breaks loose as Lockwood shouts to advance. 

“Kara stay back!” the General orders just before the swords start to clash.

The blonde doesn’t argue despite looking troubled, she just keeps her sword up and makes sure to have Lena behind her. Astra starts cutting down people, the first two are easy and leave her sword tainted red but the third one that comes her way is carrying a spear, the range difference making for a tricky opponent.

Alex starts to fire again, striking a couple of guys before one of them sneaks close enough to swipe at the legs of her horse with his sword. The limb is chopped off and Alex falls along with the animal, Kara almost runs towards her but a man comes charging at her, sword first in a forward thrust that her fast reflexes manage to block despite her frazzled state. She has to push Lena brusquely out of the way as her attacker comes more aggressively, taking a step to her left hoping he’ll follow. The furious wrath of a sword glides rapidly in her direction and Kara has to duck in order to preserve her head.

“Don’t fucking kill her!”

Kara hears someone yell, possibly Lockwood. The Umbranian hears him as well, that single moment of hesitation gives the blonde the opening she needs as her arms follow through with the movement easily the same way they have for years.

But this time is not a target for practice, the man is not made of straw and so her strike rips fabric, leather, and flesh. The ugly line on the man’s chest spew red and Kara matched his eyes just for a moment before he slumped forward, tried to lift his weapon again even in his afflicted state and Kara’s body moved as in some sort of trance. Her sword dug into him, the resistance of muscle and bone barely an impediment to the strong iron.

It was over just that quickly, as the dead body falls to the ground. She watched him for a second, his mangled ribcage an unmoving mess whilst inside hers, her heart feels like exploding, beating rampantly. She could even smell him, acrid and lifeless at her feet when he had been roaring just mere moments ago.

“Kara!” Lena screamed and when Kara snapped her head up she saw another one coming, angry and swinging. Yet what terrified her the most was that another two were closing in on Lena.

She moved as if being puppeteer by some unknown force, meeting him halfway with a brusque clashing of metal. His leverage was better and it had her elbows bend, her shoulders struggling to lock in with enough force. Lena was backtracking, she could see her, scrambling to get out of reach.

Kara kicked the man in the knee, pushing the joint in an unnatural direction that makes him grunt and fall. She swung heavily and her sword went across his face, Kara didn’t pay attention to the gruesome result, making her way to Lena. 

The brunet was at the river’s edge, only a step away from falling into the water. Kara shouldered the first one away from her and he stumbled, the second man was extending his hand to grab her _zhao_ so Kara cut it off.

“Lena” Kara met her frighten eye “can you swim?”

The girl shook her head no and Kara swore under her breath. She turned just as the two soldiers recovered, the one now missing a hand dived in first with a look of hate but Kara only had to make the sword go in a downward arch and he fell.

The second one was more cautious, staying out of reach and making her engage first. He was faster than the rest, Kara noted, as her strikes were met by the man’s sword. Not as eager to die like the rest he made sure to keep his guard up and when she went in too fast he twisted away, she realized her mistake too late and the edge of his weapon opens a gash on her side.

It’s not a death blow but the next time she tries to block him she feels it. The open wound limiting her response enough for him to advance, pressing her backward with constant attacks. Kara hears Lena gasp at her back when the fight gets too close, it pushes her to stay put. With his sword resting over hers, slowly breaking the distance until she can feel it nicking through her leather vest to cut her shoulder.

For a moment she thinks it is over, despite what Lockwood had said about not killing her. She feels tempted to give up as the blade lodges more into her shoulder. She wants to look back at Lena, instead of ahead to the man’s lips quirking up in victory.

But then suddenly the man takes in a choked breath, confusedly glancing down at the arrow sticking out of him. Kara pushes his sword away as soon as his grip slackens and plunges her own into the exposed throat, left him to drown in his own blood.

Alex is only briefly on her feet before she slumps back down, almost at the same time as Kara’s attacker. Kara grabs Lena’s hand and runs in her direction, Sam is on her feet and fighting to keep a solider with an ax from making it to the redhead.

Kara puts her sword through his back and Sam gives her a startled look, but they move quickly to Alex.

“Fuck,” She says when she sees her up close. Alex looks pale and her leg is bleeding profusely, wetting her pants.

“Kara, you have to-“her sister slurs “leave. You have to…agh!”

Lena ties a ripped piece of her dress around the bloodied wound “You pulled the bolt out? Why did you do that!”

“So I could stand!” Alex shouts angrily “you two were-“she trails off, eyelids dropping.

“Hey!” Kara shakes her but she’s losing consciousness.

She looks around, there are dead bodies everywhere. Astra is still fighting three men, making sure they don’t get past her and even though her movements look fluid, Kara knows she’s tiring. All the more obvious when Lockwood goes for her leg and the General moves too slow, gets herself a new slash on her calf.

Kara is ready to go help her until she sees the figures at the distance. More Kingsmen, at least another dozen.

“We are not winning this” She realizes, turning to Sam “There is a town. Metropolis, just a couple miles south. They have healers, ask for Clark Kent”

Aoife was still around despite the butchery and the blood, Astra’s horse was nowhere to be seen. She called him and he trotted their way at the whistle.

“What?” Sam asked

“Get her to Metropolis, then to Kandor. As fast as you can”

Alex is passed out when Kara starts to lift her, but she grunts in pain as Kara pushes over the saddle. It’s a good thing, otherwise, she’d fight to stay. 

“Kara, I- you should go with her” Sam argues “I’ll stay, you take her”

Kara kisses her sister’s cheek and whispers “Forgive me” then she turns to Sam, the riders are less than a couple of yards away.

“They will kill you if you stay,” Kara says firmly, spares a look at Lena and sees the understanding, the support “Lex wants us alive, you and Alex…his men will murder you right here”

Sam blinks at her “My duty is to keep you safe”

“Your duty is to obey” her voice comes out rough, she feels her eyes watering “and I am ordering you to get my sister out of here”

“Now!” her commanding tone gets the woman to move, hopping on the horse and securing her unconscious companion.

Kara turns around to avoid lingering and after a brief pause, she hears Aoife’s hooves hitting grass, galloping. Ahead there’s only Astra and Lockwood left, the other two have fallen to the General’s sword.

The reinforcements are almost on them though. Kara feels her head spinning and her side aches, but she grips her sword handle tight, turns her face to Lena.

“I can get you on one of those horses” she speaks with a slight pant “I get you on one of those horses and you follow Sam, okay?”

Lena gives her a tender look and only now does she notice the splotch of red where blood has splatter onto her pale cheek “Kara, I’m not going anywhere without you”

She ignores it “Just follow them. Lara will take care of you”

“Kara” Lena grabs her hand but the blonde twists out of it.

She almost trips with a corpse. Astra is still fighting, she has a cut on her cheek and is shouting for her to run but Kara needs to help her aunt. Her side hurts, she presses her hand against it and it comes out red.

 _A horse_ , she thinks. She needs to get Lena a horse and then help Astra.

Her sword feels too heavy, the handle is a little slippery with blood. If she aims high she can dismount a rider right? Will the horse scream and kick?

The front rider charges for her, Astra screams or maybe Lena. Her heart rushes at the sight of the spear but she stays anchored, waiting for her chance. _Hit the rider, not the horse, Hit the rider, not the horse_ , her brain repeats.

She sees the spearhead and the man holding it. Lena will surely still get a horse even if she gets speared. Kara tries to lunge but the rider commands the animal evasively and she misses, he cackles, turns the spear and hits her with the blunt end.

Kara feels the impact against her temple. Then her world darkens into nothingness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine since i can’t decently in any language


	10. Chapter 10

It takes her a full hour to find Kara, after having roamed the castle in search of the little girl. From the heiress’s quarters to the kitchens, the gardens, the library, the throne room. There was no sight of her, so Alex turned to less obvious places: the stables, the ballroom, and even the abandoned hallway of the sublevel that terrified the Princess because of the tales of ghostly figures.

She returns to her room and shuts the door in frustration. ‘Whatever’ she tells herself ‘she will turn up when she’s hungry’. But then she sees a distinctive shade of honey blonde at the corner of her bed, just the ends sticking out like a cat’s tail. Except the only cat around is Streaky and his fur is black.

Alex kneels down and sticks a hand under. Her fingers touch something wet and squishy for a moment, she retrieves her hand quickly “ew, don’t lick me”

The second time she finds a limb, a smaller hand that wraps around her own comfortably. Alex pulls carefully until Kara’s head comes fort, out of the draping bed sheets.

“I didn’t lick you” Kara mumbles “you put _your_ fingers on my mouth” 

The redhead tilts her head and exhales “you hid under _my_ bed. There are consequences”

“You taste like dirt”

Alex raises her eyebrows but lets it slide, just because Kara has been evidently crying “want to come out?”

The girl considers it, sniffing through a stuffy nose. She’s gross really, like all eight-year-olds, that's just Alex’s true unbiased opinion. Still, Alex holds on to her hand, even if it’s gross and there’s probably dried snot on it because secretly, very deeply, she finds Kara adorable. Even red eyed and sad.

Kara puts out her other hand lazily and it’s up to Alex to pull her from under the bed, which would’ve been easier two years ago but now that Kara is growing in size not so much. She has maybe a year or so of being the taller of the two, after that she’s going to have to endure the role reversal of Kara calling her a tree stump.

‘The good years are flying by’ a speeding thought. A very stupid one under more scrutiny. The last three years have been shit.

It’s been over a year since Jeremiah died and Alex is still learning how to stand on two feet with the weight of it. Kara has had four months of it and she’s still on the floor, being crushed by the sensation of absence. The forever unoccupied space of a loved one.

“What happened?” she asks.

“I don’t know” Kara answers with her voice cracking and averting eyes. Like she’s ashamed of it.

Alex understands, she had tried not to break too. In a way, she thinks she got luckier because there were still things to worry about when her father died, but for Kara, there aren’t any more distractions with the war behind them.

Nothing else to be aware of, just cycles of hurting.

And Alura, Rao, Alura and her constant estrangement. Going from meeting to meeting, spending her whole time on political affairs, skipping family dinners. Alex bites the inside of her mouth thinking about it, about the first two months when the Queen had sent her daughter away because she had a Kingdom to fix.

 _“She will be safer in Kandor”_ Alura had said. But it had sounded so empty.

Lara had been nice to her niece and Kal-El had his natural kindheartedness. Yet, when Kara came back she seemed smaller than Alex had ever seen her. So she had spent the next month caring for her as much as possible, making sure to sing her calming Kryptonian nursing rhymes when there were nightmares and letting her speak or refuse to whenever she retreated to a dejected state.

Alex wasn’t always good at being nice. But on occasion, she could be, for Kara she always tried to.

“I think…” Kara started but there wasn’t a follow-up.

It was at moments like this when Alex felt angry at the world. Without a focus, nothing but an endless stream of fury. Watching Kara bring her knees to her chest and shake her head, Alex felt like punching the injustice out of the earth.

“I'm sorry,” the blonde said before she started sobbing.

Alex dragged herself closer, she put her anger aside and brought the little girl into her arms. Kara burrowed into her amidst her crying. The world was unfair and there wasn’t much she could do to stop it. 

But she could be Kara’s shield and wrap around her like this, and no matter what she wouldn’t budge.

…

Samantha Arias had never been considered brave.

When she had refused to marry a man who only wanted her to breed children she had been called rebellious. When she had run away from her neurotic mother who had set up that marriage she had been called unmanageable. When she had decided to join the army she had been called stupid.

The first day of training Alex had asked the recruits to try and hit her but everyone had been too scared of hitting the Sergeant. An honorary Royal. The Princess’s sister.

She had been the only one to go for it and failed miserably, humiliating herself in front of every soldier there. Yet Alex hadn’t looked at her with disdain or disappointment. Instead, she had given her an open grin and a pat in the back. Called her a brave one.

The fondness of that moment seemed so far away now. Sam was scared, terrified even. As she waited at the feet of the bed for the woman to wake up. Her first impression of Alex had been that she looked strong and confident, but now she was yellowish and fragile.

“Don’t worry, she’s tough. I bet she won’t even scar”

Sam followed the voice and found that despite the reassurance Clark Kent had not minded to disguise his expression of concern.

“She looks sick”

Clarke’s dark eyebrows furrowed more “The blood loss was substantial, but you got her here before it was too late. Thank you”

Sam didn’t feel like any gratitude was owed to her. Alex might have called her a brave one but she had ran, left without the very people she was supposed to protect.

She was definitely a coward and possibly a traitor. Abandoning the Princess was enough to ensure execution, yet she went overboard to dishonor her oath by leaving her aunt and her beloved too.

A warm hand rested on her shoulder “You saved her life” he gave her a kind smile.

“I believe that's your healer’s merit,” Sam said “I-“

Her eyes caught movement and she hurled her head just as Alex sat up brusquely with a gasp as if she had been pulled by the chest into awareness.

“Where...” the wide brown eyes connected with the two figures in the room “Kara”

Sam saw her confusion, slowly mixing in with the realization of what had happened. Alex swung her legs impressively fast, only grappling with her pain as she got up and making Sam run towards her.

“Alex, your leg!”

“I’m going back” she barked stubbornly.

Sam shook her head “You can’t stand” 

The redhead tried to push her off in an attempt to prove her wrong but her wounded leg failed to keep her balanced. Luckily Clark grabbed her and pulled her up before she fell, Alex seemed to only notice his presence then.

“Clark?” Alex appeared surprised enough to sit back down.

“Yes,” he responded, “why is it every time I see you you’re drunk or hurt…or both”

Alex shrugged “I like annoying you” she turned to Sam “how long?”

“Half a day”

The woman cursed loudly, holding her head with her hands and breathing heavily.

“I’ve already sent riders to Kandor, I requested as many men as they can spare” Clark kneeled and spoke firmly “Most of our fighting men were recruited to face Daxam but I’ve reunited as many able ones as possible”

Alex glared at him, furious tears on her eyes “We have to march now” 

“Not without a fighting chance. Kara needs our help, we can’t give it to her if we’re outnumbered”

“We’ve been outnumbered from the start!” she shouted, “We just didn’t fucking know!”

Sam sneaked a hand over the healthy leg and rubbed, uncertain on how to comfort her.

“Alex” Clark calls “listen to me”

Strangely enough, Alex does and Sam sees something being shared, a sincerity that fluctuates between them.

“Kara needs us,” he says “We have to be smart”

Alex takes in a shaky breath but relents “How long do you think they’ll take?”

“No more than two days. Cat is there with J'onn, you know how she is. chop chop and all ”

“Will Lex contain himself that long?” Sam asks, full of dread.

Beside her, Clark grinds his teeth “He will. I’ve sent him a message, an offer. It should demand some of his time to think it over” his blue eyes return to Alex “I’m sorry, when all of this started I should have been there”

“I assure you we understand why you were not. Your family comes first”

“But you are my family. I am going to fight for you”

Sam watches the interaction with confusion, but then Alex puts her hand on his shoulder in a very similar way she does with Kara.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from the son of Lara Lor-Van and Jor-El the second”

The gasp that leaves Sam’s mouth is embarrassing.

Alex stares at her with amusement “Half a day and you didn’t introduce yourself apart from your silly farmer name?”

He shakes his head at the teasing but extends a hand towards Sam “Well if we want to be formal. I’m Kal-El, the silly farmer name is just more discreet”

…

First Kara thought it was a dream. Her body felt light, almost like she was floating and when she opened her eyes there was grass gliding bellow and passing dandelions under the sun. It was as if she was flying over the earth, marveling at its beauty.

It was all but an instant, then she was falling as a nauseating feeling took over. The drop was short-lived and Kara knew enough about falling to do it right, yet her limbs were frigid, and the grounds were unforgiving despite the voluminous meadow. The dandelions got crushed by her body.

She lost the air in her lungs and let out a gasp. A hoof stopped too close to her face, dark and shoed with iron.

“If she falls one more time I’m roping her feet and dragging her the rest of the way” a deep voice said angrily and even though Kara wanted to see who it was her head felt too heavy to lift.

“Just put her back on”

“The bitch is heavy! Why do I have to-“

“I don’t give a fuck about your knee, Koner” the reply was sharp with irritation “worry about your head better. If you left her with a cracked skull and stupid, the King is going to behead you”

Kara felt a pressure on her shoulder, as a boot pushed to turn her over.

The man had a patchy beard and the contexture of an ale barrel “Nothing cracked! I merely tapped her” his brown eyes widened at once “wait! She’s awake” he seemed visibly relieved at the discovery.

Another face joined him and Kara found herself staring up at Ben Lockwood’s twisted smile. Her hand balled up with the desire to knock his denture out, to hear his laugh turn to gurgle as he choked up with his own blood.

“Pull her up”

The bearded man obeyed and grabbed her, one hand on clothing and the other brusquely pulling her neck. He was strong in spite of the protruding belly, no doubt capable of swaying her in whatever direction was required.

Kara felt nauseous by the movement, now the world was vertical and she realized the throbbing pain of her head. For a moment her sight turned bright white and she tumbled forward, only kept in place by the severe grip of her captor.

“You’re looking a little green, ain’t you?” He sounded falsely astounded and Kara contorted her neck to glare at him with as much wrath as she could collect with her sight still blurry “I would so hate it if you felt indisposed, Princess”

She struggled forward uselessly, breathing in through her mouth –maddened within an inch of her life– and he laughed.

“You just don’t know when to give up” he said and signaled to the side.

Kara took a second before following with her eyes to where he pointed. Lena’s expression yelled of desperation, her hands tied and her mouth gagged. The man pressed to her back atop the horse didn’t seem to be hurting her, but Kara worried all the same.

Astra wasn’t too far away either and she looked horrid. The blood on her hands was likely not hers, the face was a different story…they had beat her up, badly. If she were not moving Kara would think she was dead, but her shoulders lifted with rhythmic breathing, and behind swollen skin cerulean eyes regarded her.

Lockwood made a throaty noise of satisfaction “To give you a clue, right now is when you give up”

“I’m going to kill you” she assured with her voice trembling in rage.

His brows creased at the stubbornness and before Kara knew it there was a knee colliding with her stomach. She doubled over and screamed, the hit knocked her air out and reminded her of the open wound on her side.

“Fucking Kryptonians, so full of yourselves” Lockwood muttered “Koner, give her some water before she passes out again. I have to piss”

Once his commander walked off, the man forced her to sit and stretched a leather keg for her to take. She made no move to grab it so he threw it at her feet and gave her a warning stare “Drink or I’ll have to make you. Lex would hate it if you died of thirst before getting his share of you”

Kara wanted to refuse but her mouth was desert dry and she felt close to vomiting. The water was disgustingly warmed by the sun but she drank anyway. Her eyes wandered to Lena and Astra, to the men that stared at her blankly atop their high horses.

She could try to fight, but weaponless and feeble as she was it would be most assuredly only a waste of energy. Still, she saw the blunt happiness of the Umbranian’s and the pride on their posture, it lit a fire inside her that she wished to put out with blood.

Astra read her expression and discouraged her agitation.

“ _Zha, rutehn fah_ ”

Her aunt’s command was firm even when in all appearance she was defeated. ‘Stand down’ was a wise course of action but Kara still battled to swallow the accumulating bitterness of being at the mercy of these people. Regardless, she steeled her face and focused on not doing anything stupid.

“ _nim kryp dhehraoghehd ugem_?” She asked, not sure if it was directed towards her aunt or just to the world in its totality. Surely the earth wouldn’t bother if they died at all and yet she couldn’t help but wonder in some sort of awe.

Astra didn’t answer verbally but Kara guessed anyway by the severity of her stare. _She doesn’t know either if this is it. She can’t even master a comforting lie_ , Kara concluded.

Ben Lockwood returned from behind the trees “Unless you want me to cut out your tongue, shut up. Don’t try to plead in English either, Lena already gave us enough of that” He returned to his horse “let her walk the rest of the way”

He was obeyed promptly and Kara was soon tripping along the march, with her hands tied uncomfortably as the rider pulled her forward. At least the rope wasn’t placed around her neck, not that it was much solace if she was walking towards her definite peril.

Lena was ahead, grimly looking back at her every now and then with concern. Kara switches her view to her feet, unable to put up with the sight and the unbearable understanding of her failure. She managed to tune out the world, as she lost herself into the monotone act of taking stumbling steps.

The miles went on but she blinked dumbly at the ground, her left boot now covered in dried blood contrasts starkly against the fallen leaves. The dark thought of it being Alex’s ran into her mind, but no, it couldn’t be her sister’s blood in her boot.

She looked at her hands and the black under her nails, there it could be Alex’s, from when she picked her up maybe. From when everything had turned to shit and one of the people she loved the most had ended up with a twelve-inch bolt into the thigh.

Alex could be dead for all she knew. Even if she got to Clark in time, what then? Kara knew her well enough to guess she’d just head back into danger. They were all going to die, obviously. Lex had crafted the perfect plan to ensure just that, Kara just wished she went first without having to witness the rest.

“You know” Lockwood slowed his horse just so he could loom over her “I was there when your father met us on the battlefield. He didn’t even gave us time to contemplate but I remember thinking he looked like a cursed creature from hell, covered in mud and blood and fucking raging”

He glanced at her “He didn’t say a single word, just started severing heads like a mad man. Many of my men died squealing like little girls”

“You deserved worst,” she said harshly “because of what you did”

“oh, Crow’s Town, you mean?” he licked his lips into a snarly smile “We needed the supplies, is very hard to keep an army feed, but I guess you wouldn't now”

Kara clenched her teeth so hard it hurt. There had been men, women, and children. She had no doubt Zor-El had every reason to be enraged after finding the bodies of his people burnt and mutilated. Whatever he had done after, once he found Lionel’s army with the torches still aflame was justified in her eyes.

“Back there, you almost looked like him. You surprised me.” He continued to sound unburdened “So many children are a shadow of their father. They lack the strength and the fire, but you…well, is a fortune Lex took action now, a couple more years and you might have matched Zor-El. The savior your people need”

She felt the urge to lunge at him, yet all she would manage would be dragged by the tied hands over the ground.

So she gave him a look of profound hatred instead “I’ll make you wish you had died by my father's sword” Kara spit when she finished the sentence, it didn’t reach him but he eyed him dirtily anyway.

“Save your talk for the King, Princess. We’re almost there”

Pulling the reigns he returned to the front of the formation and Kara realized it was true. She could see the faint figure of the ruinous old mill and that meant she was home.

…

The sea was a mess, disarrange in every sense. Like a sentient beast with a constant shifting mood –blue and green and grey– never the same, always shifting. A body of nature strong enough to sink ships and drown men on a whim, and yet it remained beautiful.

A wild thing, A free thing. Nia Nal allowed it to bring her awe for a couple of minutes, felt the equal parts of fear and wonder, and reminisced of her childhood picking seashells with her mother. She hoped they got to do that again in another life.

The sun was eclipsed by a figure and so she turned to find the tall dark-skinned Captain, big arms barely trapped under the leather in a crossed stern stance.

“We should be ashore already” he said as he squinted at the sea.

“The winds will be kinder to us, the worst is already past us”

His profile persisted presenting hard lines of uncertainty “How could you now?”

“I had a dream” she says simply.

He turns and gives her a look of curiosity “I pray you’re right. There are only three days before trade opens up, we ought to be there when Lex marches”

Nia picks at her nails. Her dreams are never as straightforward as she would wish but she knows they’re already late, in a sense.

Still, there’s a gut feeling that not everything is lost. Behind the fire and ash she had seen more: a raised sword and a red cloak. The moon and the sun aligned with a mantel of stars to witness. 

Chaos and order, one can not be without the other. They just have to find the right balance. 

“We will be there when they need us” she was sure of it “you will deliver us there, Captain”

James leaned overboard and breathed in sharply, then eyed her “You are oddly calm, considering what we're heading towards”

She shook her head “I am afraid. For me and my people,” she looked up to the turquoise of the Naltorian banners that would be flickering on the wind if there was any “but I chose to see beyond that, to the greater future we will build together”

“So you think we will win?”

“We must. Otherwise, Lex will slowly put the world under his boot, a shadow that will suffocate everything that was ever good”

“you saw that in a dream too?” James asks and when she nods, a determined expression surface on his face “Then we must eradicate the Luthors, as you said”

She almost concedes for a moment, since the Captain has shown to be stubborn about the matter “Not the young one”

“Lena” he shakes his head as the name leaves his lips “She’s the same. They are all the same”

Nia doesn’t think so “She can choose what to fight for. Just like us”

He seems ready to argue but then there’s a gust of wind of a sudden rising, it rustles Nia’s dark hair and brings the saline smell of the waves as they shake off their previous tranquility. On the nearest boats, she hears cheering as the fleet celebrates the return of the wind.

“I told you” she tells him and he might have bickered were they not in such urgency.

“Untie the mainsail!” James roars to his men, gifting a small smile to Nia "seems your dreams do come true" 

…

“Just before nightfall. Your brother will be thrilled to have you back”

 _Will he?_ Lena would’ve retorted cynically, where her mouth not tightly restricted. Not that it would be of use, after all, she had whimpered for hours for them to let her help Kara and all she had accomplished was earning herself a gag.

The man behind her guided the horse firmly, he smelled of dampness and dirt. Astra had stuck him in the face with the pommel of her sword and his nose had become an ugly stump, making him lose his hold of the girl’s hair.

She hadn’t expected the General to defend her once Kara was down, but she had. At least until they had pointed to her niece with sharpened steel, the moment the sword slacked in Astra’s hold they had swarmed her, beat her to a pulp.

Lena crooned her neck to look at Kara. In a way it was a torture, to catch the sight of her, the purpling shape where she had been hit and the gash on her side nobody had let her clean. Yet she was so glad to see her standing, after hours of her being a limp form.

Ben called her attention back “Lena, did you really gave yourself to the Kryptonian already?”

Her head whipped back to glare at him, he didn’t care. It amused him.

“I’d knew you’d take after your mother eventually”

Her nails dug into her palms at the taunting words but she turned back to Kara once more. He didn’t matter to her, none of them did. Just Kara.

The blonde had heard and her blue eyes were aflame with anger towards the knight. Lena wanted to go to her, put a hand on her shoulder, and quell that fire. She wanted to be tender to Kara, there where the world had been cruel.

She had to settle for a look of longing. Kara had been skittish to meet her eye but she stared now, paused her march for a moment to share a single moment of softness. Then the rope around her hands pulled her forward and the instant shattered.

“You, go ahead. Let the King know we bring what he asked for” Lockwood signaled to one of his men.

The soldier urged forward quickly as they reached the city gates. Lena’s brows knitted together as she smelled the thick presence of smoke in the air and saw the patrolling guards. Most of the buildings close to the outer walls where a mass of burnt desolation, the pretty structures Lena had marveled at had crumbled into piles of drab ruble.

As they went onward the destruction turned less explicit but no less brutal: doors splintered into opening, broken windows, and traces of blood. Occasionally, Lena’s eyes will find figures of people hiding inside, watching with fear as the line advanced.

They were closing in towards the castle and the presence of Lex’s men thickened. They noticed them fast.

Rough laughs erupted, words of celebration for the knight of liberty, Umbra’s better-known killer smiled. Other voices chorused with mockery as they laid eyes on the captured Kryptonians, barking insults like a pack of hungry dogs.

A multitude of them followed all the way to the Castle gate and Lena felt relieved as soon as they were left behind. Ben finally ungagged her and cut the rope that had left her wrist red but he wasn’t any kinder as he pulled her, behind her Astra and Kara were dragged in a different direction.

“Kara!” Lena shouted as soon as she realized.

“Lena!” Kara gave her a desperate look and struggled, but she was subdued quickly and put out of her sight.

Lockwood pushed her despite her efforts to resist, his body was too solid and so she was shoved unceremoniously into a room. She had only been once inside the Kryptonian council room, when they were planning how to defeat the very person that sat there now.

“You may take your leave, liberty. I must have a word with my sister” Lex said as he stood up “and do ready our guests for dinner”

Ben inclined his head and departed, closing the heavy door behind him.

Lex watched her for a long second before saying anything “Wine? You look like you might need it”

“Where did you take them?” Lena demanded, “what are you going to do with them?”

The King’s lips tightened into a severe line “That isn’t your concern”

She took angry steps until she could face him at the other side of the table “You used me, so it is my concern!”

“They are our enemies, you already know what I’ll do with them. You’ve always known”

“You will not touch them,” Lena said, the bite to her words amplified by the echo of the room “I won’t allow it”

Lex splayed his hands over the table “I don’t need you to allow anything. I am King” the gaze she received was reprimanding “I sent you here with a purpose. One that you clearly rejected to satisfy yourself”

“Satisfy myself?” she asked in bafflement.

“Yes. Instead of following my orders and doing what was right for your family, you have prostrated yourself at the feet of Kara Zor-El like a lovesick pet”

“I love her”

Lex scoffed and rounded the table to meet her “no, you just latch onto every person who pretends to have affection towards you”

The statement stung enough to make her reckless and she hit him heavily in the chest. He didn’t move back, but closed in on her, and grabbed her by the neck in a fit of rage. Lena felt her hip bang the edge of the table as he hovered over her.

Her left hand came in a wide arch to slap him but he stopped it with an iron fist. She tried prying the hold on her throat but all she managed was a weak claw at the pressing fingers.

Lena gasped at her brother, he had never hurt her before. Not physically anyway, that had been Lillian’s entertainment.

“I have worked over a decade to get us here” his tone started as a hush but it rose easily, transformed into an aggressive growl “I won’t have you and your idiocy costing me the empire I was born to rule. My legacy. My destiny”

Her eyes started to water, her breathing turned shallow as he closed his hand more tightly.

“I am going to end them for good, because it is my right. Just like it was father’s right. You are nothing but a nuisance in my ear that I have put up with, hoping you’d change. That you would see we can have it all”

He finally let go. Lena tips over against the table, recovering from the assault.

“But you always let me down, Lena”

Lena stares at the man in front of her and doesn’t recognize even the smallest scraps of her brother. The one who loved her as a child. The one who had taken the crown form Lillian after finding out she had undressed his sister for Morgan Edge.

Her shoulders sink as he watches him recompose the tailored persona that has replaced what she loved. A mask of glacial emotionless that splashes Lena in the face despite the fact she has understood for years that she was losing him.

Lex rearranges the sleeves that riled up “Our guests are awaiting and although I wasn’t planning on having you there, it seems you need an enlightening experience to get this capriciousness out of you”

He heads for the door as if this had been nothing but an inconsequential conversation.

“If you hurt her I will never forgive you,” she tells him “you won’t be my brother. You won’t be anything to me”

The pause in his step lasts only a moment, after that the King pushes the door open. It’s the last chance she can give him and he refuses it.

Two guards escort her to follow behind him, through the halls that have darkened now the sun has set and the shadows climbed inside the place. Along they go and Lena feels her gut tightening at the threat of what is about to happen.

By the time they are at the threshold she’s having a head rush, like she’s been whacked with a stone in the middle of her brows. Lena pleads for some intervention, of any kind, but there isn't one.

Inside the El’s are together, sitting almost in the same manner they do for dinner except the mood is nothing but dreadful. Kara finds her as soon as she steps in, looking so alarmed Lena wants to run to her.

She doesn’t get to do that.

“Here, sister” Lex’s is ungentle as he trusts her into a chair at the end, the one that they always leave open for Zor-El “Make yourself comfortable after such stressful travels”

His hand lays heavily on the back of her neck, curling wretchedly to exert control.

“Alexander-“Alura starts, tears streaking down already. Lena has never seen her so powerless. So afraid. 

The King lifts a single finger to quiet her “I see you have rekindled with your daughter and your sister. How very worried must you have been when they disappeared”

 _Games_ , Lena thinks, _fucking games_. Her brother loves them.

“Fortunately I have brought them back to you. Aren’t you grateful?”

Silence overwhelms the room, Lena gazes around. Alura seems crumpled in despair, on the opposite side of the table her sister maintains a steady stillness of endurance despite the situation and Kara…

Kara has a storming sea in her eyes, fury extending out fixed on Lex. 

“Lex” Alura tries again and he allows her to speak this time “please, I will do whatever you want. Anything you want you can take, just let them go. If you let them go you can have the rest, I swear it”

“The castle, you mean? the Kingdom?” he asks with sarcasm “you can’t offer me what I already have. Frankly, I was never interested in the land but it bought me allies and as i promised they'll have the spoils”

“You can kill me” Alura pleads as Kara and Astra both direct her outraged expressions “I am the one you want”

“I do want to kill you” He nods along “but I can’t let them go, Alura. You should know, if you would have had the intelligence to wipe us out fifteen years ago this would’ve been avoided. I shall not fall to the same mistake”

Lena pulse spikes when he moves from her side, everyone follows him as he goes to one of the many men that wait dutifully for instruction. One of them hands him a long dagger that he waves in indication to Astra.

“I believe this is yours. Very beautiful” his smile is wicked “Would you be willing to tell me how many lives has it taken?”

Astra says nothing and Lex dangles it with amusement “I just hope you don’t mind me upping the count” 

Kara tries to rise but they have her before she leaves her seat. She gets three solid punches to the gut before Lex calls it off, Lena’s desperation only grows as they sit the heaving Princess.

Lex clears his throat “as I was saying, Your Majesty. Since this is your home I’m willing to grant you the choice of who dies first”

“No. No, please” Alura begs brokenly “take me. Please take me”

He ignores it as he rounds the table “Your child or your sister?”

His soldiers pin the women to their chairs. Kara fights uselessly against the hold, still raging, but her aunt doesn’t resist. Astra exchanges a look with her twin that has Alura pleading harder through her sobs.

Lena joins her “Lex! Don’t. Don’t do this” her voice feels tiny despite her screaming “you can- no! Listen to me. We can walk away from this. We’ll go somewhere else, like we always talked about, remember?”

She gets no acknowledgment, beyond a buffing exhale “Please brother, we can leave it all behind. I promise, Lex. This was father but it doesn’t have to be you, just-“

The words get stuck inside her mouth as the shiny blade is pressed to Kara’s throat. The blonde stares up at Lex in defiance, as if challenging him to do it. A slow smile spurs on the King's face.

“w-we can make a dea!l” Alura says with her eyes wide in fear.

“Make a decision”

“No, no” the Queen insists “we can make a deal”

Lena sees the moment he runs out of patience, as his right eye narrows almost imperceptibly. She gets up, takes three steps towards her brother before a fist connects with the side of her face. Losing her balance she ends up tumbling but a solid body keeps her standing, the same hand that stuck her now restraining her.

“Alright” she hears the nonchalance in Lex’s speech.

Her eyes open after the surprise of the blow wears off, but in an instant, she wishes they hadn’t.

Lex retrieves the blade from Kara’s neck so fast it nicks her shallowly, leaving a smear of red behind. She would have screamed had she any time to do so, but it all happens far too quickly.

The blade slides in perfectly, there is no flaw in its design whatsoever, so it pushes through the flesh with ease. Lena can only see a sliver of Astra’s profile when eclipsed by Kara’s figure seated beside her, but it's enough. A strand of white hair floats almost idly when Astra looks down at the dagger inside her chest, she lets out a ragged breath.

Lena watches her lips part and move, yet the sound never makes it to her ears. The King unlogged the blade only to thrust it back in again, to a higher spot. Astra’s head fell forward, emitted a low babble with the last air inside her lungs then moved no more.

Kara’s body is frozen, Lena can’t see her with her face turned to her aunt. Alura, on her part, is shaking and weeping rivers.

“how…“ Lex started as he pulled the dagger out. Blood dripped from the steel and over the table “disappointing. You bleed like common men, by your pride I’d assumed you were godly creatures”

As soon as the sentence finishes Kara is on her feet, somehow having managed enough force to break away from the hold on her arms. It doesn’t last long though, she gets slammed into the table promptly.

Lena hears her spit Kryptonian in a violent tone that doesn’t need translation, it’s an erupting volcano of curses. The King winces at the loudness and waves a hand, one of the men holding Kara grabs her by the hair. Up and then down, the clash of Kara’s head against the wood fills the room like sudden thunder.

The Princess scream again, but not in pain. Rather in a feral way that scares Lena, by the slight quirk of Lex’s cheek, he is too. The same involuntary movement Lena saw him make when Lionel was displeased.

She tries to stop him then, at that flash of weakness “Lex, please-“

“I will take one finger from her hand for every word you say next”

Kara responded to the threat in English “I’m going to kill you”

Lex gawked at the blonde coldly “You want to know why that isn’t true?”

He moved closer and Lena barely contained her tongue, lip trembling as the fear pumped through her veins.

“Put it here” he motioned between a trapped arm and the table. Soon the limb was twisted into position, Lena let out a pant when the blade was put atop the splayed back of Kara’s hand.

She pushed forward but the hold on her was unmovable. No. He couldn’t do this, she hadn’t said anything. Lex spared her one crude look before zoning into the Kryptonian once more.

“Because I’m the one with the knife” He applied weight into the golden grip on his hold.

Kara managed to contain her shout of pain for three long seconds but eventually broke. Her whole arm shook as the steel pierced through until it met the table underneath.

Alura finally stood and abruptly regained some of her nerve “Let go of my daughter”

Lex put on a callous smile and Lena knew he was going to kill her. _Her zhao_. She won’t get to hear her laugh one more time.

She won’t get to kiss her.

She won’t get to marry her.

Lena can feel the scream starting to form, pushing out so painfully that she might just spit her heart out. But someone beats her.

“My King!”

Lex isn’t appreciative of the interruption. His smile gets twisted into a snarl of bother as the man approaches.

“I assume you are eager to be put to death by crawling in here to ruin my otherwise delightful night”

The newcomer, a boy of maybe sixteen, shudders visibly “n-no, of course not, Your Majesty. I would never-“ he stutters before lifting a wavering hand “a letter! A rider arrived, said it was urgent”

The King still stares at him like he wants to gut him, until there’s a slight shift of the object. Scarlet seal on white paper pressed with a glaring S. He rips the thing out of the boy’s grip and dismisses him with a shove.

Kara grunts when he rips the dagger out of her flesh, he uses the tip of it to cut open the parchment. He skims through the words from top to bottom and then once more before letting out a single chuff of air, content.

“Alura, you asked for a deal?” he asked and the woman looked at him through the tears “it seems that your nephew has the same idea. Brave and strong Kal-El has finally squirmed out of hiding to-“ his hand stokes the tousled main that is Kara’s hair “-change places with his only cousin. How lovely”

“Fuck you” Kara mutters gravelly

“Outstanding vocabulary” Lex mocks “in any case, it is quite the offer and I plan to consider it thoroughly. I was going to hunt him down but why not expand this family reunion”

Lena didn’t think things could possibly be worst. Yet, her brother is fixed on deifying that expectation.

“We must wait for him then. Take them”

The order is carried out rapidly and Lena barely gets a glance at Kara as she’s dragged away. She kicks a bit, surprisingly energized enough by anger despite her state. In the last moment, before she’s out of sight, the Princess croons her neck in a painful angle and stares intently at Astra as if willing her to move.

Lena can’t describe the grief that carves Kara’s face when she realizes it’s real. When the anger starts to peel off to leave unbearable sadness. But then she’s gone.

“Liberty, let her go”

She’s finally released. Lena stands there, completely flabbergasted in the room where they had dinned just some weeks before, with happy smiles over funny stories. 

Lex sits, picks at an invisible imperfection on his clothing. He doesn’t even look at her as he says “I hope this has enlightened you. If not, there’s still plenty of time”

“Now, shall we eat?”

He waves and the servents come out, dishes warm and ready.

Lena could only look at the way Astra’s blood started to pool over the table. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This cursed year is going to cut my lifespan in half. Still, I hope anyone reading is safe and doing well.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Category is: my computer died and i had to write this on my phone.

“ _So, you’re not having dinner tonight?”_

_Kara bit the inside of her mouth. The simple question bothers her, all she wanted was to be alone._

_“I’m not”_

_“Why not?”_

_She leaned more heavily against the stone ledge, looking down at the steep drop. The snow had started to collect below the tower, several feets of it._

_Her lack of response didn’t faze the woman._

_“The stars are bright tonight” a sigh accompanied the sentence. Kara saw the veil of vapor as breath met the cold night._

_Words spilled out of her without warning “I don’t understand why she doesn’t trust me. does she think I’m stupid? that I’m going to humiliate her?”_

_“She just worries, Kara. Mother’s do that”_

_“It’s a tournament! What’s there to worry about? That I’ll choke with a meat pie?” it was stupid. Like really stupid._

_“You don’t like jousting”_

_Kara whipped her head “But James is going! With Lucy and Lois. Kal-El wrote too, he’s going to participate in some of the events”_

_Alex had refused to go in her behest, so she wouldn’t be so upset about being the one left out._

_Though Kara knew she’d met a girl last year when they went to visit Kandor. A short brunette named Maggie that could make Alex’s face match her hair with few words._

_It hadn’t been enough to make her feel better, she didn’t want her sister to stay. She just wanted to go to the damn thing._

_“Kal-El is a grown man, he can make his own decisions. You are just sixteen, I’m sure there will be plenty of tournaments for you to attend when you’re ready”_

_Of course, he could. The man of Steel could do whatever he pleased with no one to hold him back. Kara on the other hand was subject to what was deemed acceptable by her mother._

_“I am ready! You have trained me, what reason is there to not let me go”_

_“Kara” the tone was contemplative before it turned into a more serious one “there’s nothing you have to prove. You’re young, you should enjoy that”_

_“I’m trying. That’s the whole point” she flung an arm in exasperation “ fun with my friends and a tournament, I don’t see the issue. Is like she doesn’t want me to be happy”_

_“She does. You know that Alura would give anything to make you happy. She’s hesitant to have you away that’s all”_

_“So I am never going to be able to do things by myself because she’s scared? I don’t-“she stopped and shook her head “it doesn’t matter.”_

_There was a prolonged pause and deep inhale from her right._

_“I’ll talk to her. She’s probably going to forbid the competing part but I’ll do my best to convince her to let you go”_

_Kara straightened her stance, suddenly hopeful “Really?”_

_“Yes” Astra smiled in that tender way she never allowed in public. The snow had started to fall more heavily and the white lock of hair picked up in the wind like it wanted to join it._

_She cheered with excitement and rushed to give her aunt a crushing hug._

_“Thank you, thank you, thank you” Kara repeated, pressing her face against the warmth and enjoyed the familiar scent of her clothes “I love you!”_

_Astra hummed whilst putting one arm around her, kissed the top of her head “I love you too, little one”_

Kara doesn’t know why the memory comes to her now. It’s beautiful. It had been beautiful.

Astra smiling under the light flurry of a winter night. She had made good on the promise and convinced her mother to let her go. Kara hadn’t been allowed to compete, of course, but her aunt had done so in her name.

She had cheered loudly, as knights flushed with embarrassment in the face of defeat. General Astra In-Ze was unbeatable. Her aunt was the kind of warrior the great songs spoke about. It felt like so long ago now.

They threw them into a cell, the men clanked the thick iron bars and laughed.

Sometimes Kara felt an unexpected sorrow that seemed to come out of nowhere, a rattle of emotion and she had –to some capacity- learned to deal with it. This wasn’t like that. Nothing had ever felt like this.

She’s alive but also a little dead, a little gone. Watered down.

_Kara_ … Astra had murmured. With nothing to follow it. Just one word and then silence.

Had she meant to tell her something? Kara shuffled forward until the grey wall pressed against her forehead. The whisper bounced around inside her head. She’ll never know.

All she knows is there was a whisper of her name, a twitch of fingers and one finale short exhale.

She slides down with weakling knees, the wall scraping the skin of her knuckles. Sorrow wouldn’t cut it this time, agony is closer but not quite. The cold floor receives her ungently, she doesn’t care. What’s there to care about anymore?

Behind her, Alura is crying and she knows she should turn to offer some comfort or protection or love. The problem is she doesn’t have any of those things to give, so she can’t move.

Kara understands now, why her mother hadn’t been able to either all those years ago. Because she could stay here unmoving for ages staring at a grey wall, even as she hears the whimpering noises.u

At some point the sound stops, or so she thinks. Perhaps she’s going deaf. Anyway, she doesn’t turn to find out, just stays down and counts her irregular breaths and clutches her tights, makes sure to slow her breath and contain the tears. Because if nothing else, that’s something she can do.

“Kara” the echo makes turns the call into many.

“Kara” again, louder.

Closer “Kara!”

She gets pulled back, her legs are too numb to resist. Eliza looks at her with alarmed eyes, roaming over her in a frantic inspection.

The woman turns her until her back is resting against the solid stone and crouches to her level.

“Do you hear me?” she asks “Kara do you hear me?”

She nods, barely.

“Alright,” Eliza glances over her shoulder to The Queen “are you hurt?”

“No. They- it’s just Kara” Alura croaks from her curled up position.

Hands fly over her face, the bruising that lays there “Rao, what have they done to you? Can you tell me where you’re hurt? Kara?”

“Her hand” Alura supplies “left, and her side too. Eliza, I don’t think she has eaten anything in days”

Eliza turns to the warder “you’ve had them here since last night, they need water and food”

The man shrugs “The Kings only said to keep them here. Nothing about food or water”

“He sent me here to care for them. Do you think he would’ve done that if he wanted them to die of starvation?”

He frowns, contemplating the idea.

“Boiled water and vinegar too. If I don’t clean her wounds infection will take over” she stood and addressed the man firmly “I’m also going to need that back”

Kara heard the clicking of glass bottles. The warder was clearly displeased but he extended the bag for Eliza to take, almost letting it fall before the woman rushed to save it.

“Sure” he locked them in, gave them dirty look “you’re as good as dead, anyway”

His heavy steps reverberated as he crossed the room and took the stairs.

Eliza returned to her side “Your head, does it hurt? Can you see well? Do you hear any kind of buzzing sound?”

Kara blinked at the recital of questions, but she couldn’t find an answer to any of them. Her lips parted and closed again, what had Eliza said?

“Kara, please, “ Eliza said, then her voice diminished to a murmur “can you at least tell me if- my Alex, is my Alex alive?”

Alex. Yes, she could answer that.

“She, uh, yes” Kara heard herself hoarse “I sent her to Kal-El. She had…they shot her with a crossbow”

Eliza’s eyes shined with hope and tears “Where did they shot her?”

Kara made an effort to recall then pointed to her thigh, two palms above the knee. The healed nodded nervously and whispered to herself for a moment, before saying it out loud.

“She’ll be fine” the steadiness came back swiftly “can I see your hand?”

She showed her. The blood had dried over the night but it still throbbed painfully, not that Kara had felt it until now that she was looking at it.

“Can you make a fist?”

Her fingers trembled but her hand closed. 

“Good, good. That’s very good, it means it’s not as bad as it looks” Eliza reassured “now your side” 

Eliza inspected her carefully and Kara managed to respond to her questions with only a bit of slowness.

“Is it true? Kal-El is coming?”

Alura runs a hand over her face “Yes”

“Well, that is good, right? He’s not just going to march happily to his execution, he’ll fight. He’ll get us out”

Kara swallows, her throat is so dry it hurts “Kal-El is brave. It will get him killed”

The two women stared at her with matching frowns.

“He should’ve run with his son and wife. At least then there would be something left of us”

_Us_ , she thinks. The house of El, strong and mighty, but look at us now. Little Jonathan is lucky to go under Kent, that last name will save him a lot of trouble.

“Kara, that is not true”

She doesn’t mean to be spiteful or cruel, just honest. “Do you not see it, mom? We are going to die. Astra is already-“

Her tongue can’t utter the rest but the point gets across. Eliza gaps, like she didn’t know… or more like she already knew but wasn’t ready to hear it.

Alura looks away, the start of another string of sobs coming to life.

While Eliza tries to console her mother, Kara’s head sinks between her knees. Astra is dead and soon they’ll be joining her. There is no way Kal-El can save them, not unless he can conjure a massive army out of thin air.

Ships at the bay. Thousands of men inside of the castle. The Daximites down south. They are just royally fucked, with zero outs.

“Here” the warden is back “you have ten minutes. After that, you’re back to working on our guys”

Both the vinegar and the water leave her feeling scorched. The burn is possibly the most vibrant emotion she’s had since being put inside the cell, but that doesn’t mean she’s grateful for it. On the other hand, the soothing salves are very welcomed.

“Alright,” Eliza says once she’s done dressing the wounds “don’t touch them, I’ll be back to change them and-“a short look at Alura and the tone lowers “-I know you’re hurting, but that doesn’t mean you have to hurt others”

Kara licks her lips, right, sugarcoat the truth for your grieving mother. Yes, why not.

She gives Eliza a nod before a thought blooms inside her mind. The one thing she hasn’t really had time to worry about but now hits her like a boulder.

“Have you seen her? Lena, do you know if she’s alright?”

“No, they keep me tending to their wounded every moment” Kara starts to notice the exhaustion the healer is wearing, her eyes look sunken “I haven’t heard much, other than screams and vomiting”

Kara knows she appears desperate because Eliza cups her face.

“I’m sure she’s fine. Perhaps the safest out of all of us. I do know Lex has taken the Royal chamber, so most likely he’ll keep his sister close”

She doesn’t exactly believe the whole safety thing. To her understanding, Lena in Lex’s claws is as safe as somebody tiptoeing on a cliff. 

“Time’s up. Get out”

Eliza barely gets to say her goodbyes before being pulled out.

…

Lena dashed to grab a piece of glass. Elongated and pointy, she held it in her hand and waited.

Keys chimed and then the wooden door was finally moved. She had spent most of the night banging at it but nobody came. It had angered her, and so she threw chairs, paintings, and crystal cups. Nobody came.

Lex stepped into the room, rising a single brow as his shoes stumbled with the mess of destroyed items. Then stared at her, and at the sharp object in her clutch.

“Lena” he cooed, almost lovingly. Almost “give me that before you hurt yourself”

“Why don’t you come and take it?”

“Come on, I know it’s not in you to hurt anyone. Much less me”

Her gripped turned tighter “let’s test that theory”

The King closed his eyes, tilted his head. As if dealing with an unruly child.

“This will get you nowhere. If I am compromised in any way, Liberty has orders to kill the Kryptonians” His sentence dragged with menace “you might hate my methods but we both know he’s far more perverted. I don’t even dare to wonder what he’ll do before ending them”

Lena felt her body shiver at the thought. Wavered. That was all it took for him to smile and close the distance.

He took the glass shard from her, slowly prying open the fingers.

“There. Now we can have breakfast”

The maidens came in with fearful looks to arrange the table, putting back the chairs where they belonged before serving the food. Quick and efficient, one last bow, and they were gone.

“You’ll be happy to know that, in your behest, I allowed a healer to visit our prisoners” Lex sat down, poured himself a cup of wine then winced at the taste “this is truly foul, winemaking is definitely lacking here”

Lena stood in place, ill at the mere sight of his casualness.

“Sit” not a request but an order “You didn’t eat last night and I was lenient on your lack of appetite given the circumstances, but no more. So eat”

To say she wasn’t hungry would be a lie, after fleeing the castle they had barely had a bite of anything. On the way back she had been offered food by Lockwood’s men, but since they weren’t giving any to Kara or Astra Lena had rejected it.

Lex leaned back on his chair and acquired a more relaxed expression “Let me make you reconsider. You eat and I will send down food for them”

She frowned. Food… if she hadn’t eaten then Kara hadn’t either. Kara who was hurt and drained, debilitating by the hour.

Lena pulled the chair and sat begrudgingly.

“Look at that, isn’t it nice to be cooperative for once”

“You will send the exact same food you’re serving to me,” Lena said sternly “and I will deliver it to them”

Lex sipped his wine “Not much of a bargain on my side, is it?”

“You’ll do it or you’ll watch me starve”

Is not much of a threat really. At this point Lex might let her, remorselessly.

He watches her with curiosity “Kara Zor-El huh? Of all the people to choose from. Father would be mortified”

Lena doesn’t appreciate the evasive conversation so she shoves the plate away “You heard me, Lex”

“Yes, I did” The King states, then slides the meal back to where it was “Fine, it is as you wish”

She pierced a slice of ham with the fork. With Lex watching her intently the food tastes like ash, still she goes through the motions of chewing and swallowing absently.

“I heard some interesting details about your stay”

A piece of honey socked biscuit goes down bumpily. Lex seemed entertained by her discomfort, he searched his belt and extracted a long dagger. _Astra’s_.

Lena almost bit her tongue off, in rage, in fright.

“That you were sick” he started to take an apple apart with the blade. Unnecessary and theatrical, as always “Poison, I believe. It fills me with ire to know those crummy Kryptonians would use a tactic that vile in an innocent girl”

“What are you talking about? You gave me the poison!”

“Hmm I don’t recall doing such a thing” he denied “anyway, rest assured that they will pay for that crime heavily. The world will come to know who they truly are very soon”

Lena felt the desire to stab him with her fork “You can’t- you did this. It was you”

“Why would I poison my sister? And how would I do that when I was not here?” His faux expression of innocence was despicable as he sliced the fruit.

“Is that what you’re going to say? That they poisoned me and then you started a war to rescue your poor sister?” it was outrageous, but not beyond him of course “Instead of the truth. That you sent me here to do your bidding and I defied you’”

She shook her head in disbelief “I never thought you could create something sleazier than father” a chuckle left her as she affronted the absurdity of it “You’re so much worse than him. But you know what, Lex? This war is not over and you’re going to lose”

“I’ve already won, Lena”

“I doubt it. Was it Kal you used to call him? your long lost friend” by his eyes Lena knew she had angered him “and now you’ve messed with his family. No, Lex, I don’t think you’ve won”

He tapped his foot, perhaps unnerved by the statement. Then he put the dagger back where it came from and placed the neat pieces of apple on her plate.

“Give the Princess my regards, sister” He stood “tell her that I look forward to seeing n her again. I bet we’ll have fun” 

She’s left to wait for a long hour that has her wondering if Lex was lying to her again . Finally –just before she starts trashing more of the room- they come for her.

Ben Lockwood shadowed her as always, Lena scurries away when he tries to put a hand on her back.

The steps feel endless, descending from the keep and then lower, to the sublevels.

Here the stone was a grey-black and the light dwindled considerably, though she was sure it didn’t compare to the pitch-black bowels of Umbra’s dungeons where men forgot themselves.

Eventually, the stairs end and the ground levels, ahead the space opens to reveal the row of cells. Lena notices the collection of people outside one of them. Three robust guards, two maids with food platters, which means…

She hurries forward but a tight grip on her arm stops her.

“Fuck off”

Ben lifts a brow at the instant retort “Calm down, you can see your blithering blonde in a minute”

He nods towards the guards to unlock the door, two of them enter and Lena frowns when she sees what they carry.

“You didn’t have them in shackles before,” she says accusingly.

“Your brother’s orders. Come on” He guides her forward and whispers one last thing “do or say something you shouldn’t and I’ll pay them a visit later”

Inside the compact place, two figures dwelled. Alura had stood up, keeping a resentful eye on the King’s men but that look faltered once Lena came into view. The woman shifted from the protective position, shackles tinkling at her hands, to allow her entrance.

The other inhabitant of the cell had remained on the floor. The chains connecting her wrist dangled between her knees, she looked so small, huddled, and with her head down.

Lena felt as the tears sprung from eyes. She went to her desperately, knelt so fast she’d bruise later.

Her hands hovered, not knowing where to start. What to do. The bloody bandages on Kara’s left hand almost made her shut her eyes.

“Kara” She touched a forearm. _God, she’s cold. She’s never so cold_ , Lena thought.

It took a moment, for the blonde to lift her head and even when she did Lena found her distant. Kara stared forward but Lena wasn’t sure she was seeing her, really seeing her.

“Please” she begged, cupping her face with all the softness she could offer “please”

Kara blinked rapidly and exhaled through her mouth, blue eyes finally connecting.

“Lena?” she said incredulously, her voice sounded rough. Her lips were dry.

“It’s me” her hands slid up, putting some of the messy hair away, she pressed herself as close as she could without hurting the Kryptonian “it’s me, love. I’m here”

There’s a ghost of joy in her features, a small glint under the coat of anguish. Kara runs a hand over her cheek lovingly.

“They hurt you” the blonde strokes the sore spot where a fist laid a dark mark on Lenas face.

“Me?” her eyes flood, it’s like someone has stomped her heart “God, Kara, you’re the one who’s hurt”

Kara parts her knees and pulls her in –awkwardly with her restraints- until they fit together “no, I’m good”

Lena holds onto one side of her neck whilst burring her face on the other. She finds the cut caused by the dagger that came close to making irreparable damage, too fucking close, and kisses it.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” She thinks of Astra and the unimaginable pain Kara must be experiencing right now. It makes her sob, wet an ugly into the junction of the blonde’s neck “I don’t know what to do”

The admission fell heavily out of her mouth. It terrified her, that she didn’t know how to help.

“That’s alright, _I’shovuh”_ Kara spoke calmly “all will be good, you’re going to be fine. I promise”

Lena didn’t like how Kara excluded herself form that promise, she backed out of the embrace to look at her.

“I’m going to do whatever I have to do to get you out of here, you hear me?” she said firmly “whatever it takes”

Kara shook her head but Lena didn’t take any protests.

“Yes, I will. If you don’t get out of this neither do I”

“Lena-“

She leaned forward and kissed her. Kara let her do it, dropping her head against the wall and offering herself with silent resignation.

“That’s enough” Lockwood warned and Lena heard the shuffle of his boots.

“I love you,” she said hurriedly into Kara’s mouth, making sure she’d never forgotten it.

The blonde held on to her hand and returned the kiss. When she was removed forcefully Lena saw the rolling tears, as Kara let go of her and mouthed.

“I love you too”

…

Alex suppressed a hiss but Sam gave her an apologetic look that revealed she must’ve made a face.

“Don’t worry” she said, as unpleasant as it was she had to wear pants. Lois had offered her a dress but Alex had never felt comfortable wearing them.

“Maybe you should take your own advice”

If only she could. Worrying was her last salvation, the only productive thing she was capable of at the moment.

“I’ll stop worrying when I have them back”

Sam cradled her hand “You will”

Or she’d die trying, that much was assured. All she could ask for is that Rao favored her sister and Alex wasn’t exactly the praying type but she was strung up enough to ask: _don’t let her die, she’s too young and she just fell in love. Don’t let her die._

She squeezed Sam’s hand “and I’m going to take a lot of bastards down in the process”

It wasn’t exactly chipper and the brunette could tell. As it turns out, Samantha Arias had the exceptional capability to see through all her bullshit. It is irritating and endearing at the same time.

Sam sighed but kissed the back of her palm “I’ll be right there with you”

The sentiment made her want to smile, yet the reality had her heart dropping. She had to lead Sam –and many others- to a battle, they might not win. Even in the unlikely chance they did, many would die.

Standing up is rather painful but she’d crawl all the way to Argo if needed. To her side, Sam makes herself a sturdy support and even though Alex doesn’t like to appear weak she leans.

“I could always carry you” the teasing tone makes Alex's cheeks burn.

Sam is strong and tall, Rao she’s so tall. Her hands so much bigger than Alex’s and it makes her mind wander stupidly to how it would feel to be lifted by them.

“Very funny” she deflects “I can still take you down with a bad leg”

“Oh, I know very well that you can, Sergeant Danvers” and the way Sam bites her lip after is so unfair.

When they open the door Kal-El is just turning the corner to meet them “They’re here”

“About time”

The complaint is unfounded really, for as apathetic as Cat Grant might seem sometimes she’d truly gone out of her way to mobilize an army in such short notice.

When they get to the stairs Alex almost reconsiders the offer getting carried. At last, she’s too stubborn so she makes her way down with a slight hop, and her arm looped around Sam’s shoulder.

Once down Sam swipes at the sweat that has –embarrassingly- collected on her brow and let’s go of her. It’s like she knows that regardless of if she disagrees, Alex will try her hardest to appear unburdened by pain, with the small consolation of shooting it afterward when pretenses drop. When no one is there to bear witness.

Kal-El’s farm is warm and homey but it isn’t overly luxurious. It’s a farm after all. So the sight of Cat and her Generals is almost comical, crowding the small dining room.

“Alex” J’onn steps into her space as soon as she enters, surveying her with concern.

The fatherly energy he expels makes Alex draw a half-smile. His eyes go from her face to her leg, then to her face again with a deep disapproving frown.

“I’m fine” she assures and stretches an arm.

He hugs her tightly, rubs her back “If I would’ve been here…I shouldn’t have left”

“You’re here now”

They part and Alex slips into a more serious posture “Your Majesty” She addresses with a half bow.

“I see they got you good” Cat says and it almost sounds casual, but there’s an itch behind it. A ferocity “let’s return the favor. Tenfold.”

Alex nods in agreement “From what little information I have Lex has ten thousand men, though maybe a couple hundred were killed by our forces before Alura surrendered the city. Regardless, the bay was taken over by Saturn’s fleet which means that he has even more soldiers to summon at will”

“James?” J’onn asks.

“We know nothing of him. Right now, all we can count on is the forces you brought from the southern border. There’s no way of communicating with the west troops, but is safe to assume Lex is attacking them as well”

She thought of Lucy briefly. Lois had asked about her sister and Alex hadn’t been able to give her any answers. There was no doubt in her mind that Lucy Lane would defend her post until the bitter end and they had no means to help her.

Alex swallowed, pushed aside the torturing thought “Frankly…victory is a slim chance”

Lex had them in the gallows, with ropes on their necks.

Cat gave a couple of short nods as if weighing the situation “So the balance is tipped on their favor”

Alex feared for a moment that she might abandon them. Take her soldiers, go home to her son, bend the knee to Umbra, and live to tell the tale.

“Saying we had an opportunity to even out the playing field, you would take it?” Cat was looking at her with inquisitive eyes.

Alex tried not to sound as desperate as she felt “Yes, whatever it is”

“Leslie” The Grant Queen cued one of her Generals.

Alex frowned, ignorant of what was happening. The woman left but quickly returned with company, a tall figure that soon was recognizable to her. After all, they had seen each other just over a month ago.

Mon-El of Daxam at least had the wisdom to appear panicky under her gaze. Had she had a knife Alex would have slit his throat right then. Every muscle she had tensed as Alex held back the murderous urge, her wound throbbed painfully.

“During our long wait to contain Daxam’s forces, Prince Mon-El reached out to us with an offering of support” Cat informed.

Alex didn’t turn, she kept her sight on him.

“He has eight hundred men at his disposal. Combined with ours we have more than enough to rat Lex out of Argo”

“You think I’m willing to put my faith in somebody as perfidious as Rhea?” she says, sharp-tongued “What has your mother sent you here to do, _boy_?”

Mon-El chest puffs “You’re mistaken, I am not here because of her. As a _man_ , I make my own decisions so-”

“Very well, you’re responsible for your death then, since you decided to come here with a mouthful of lies”

She can feel the tension rising in the room at her words. Anticipation growing with the premise of a fight.

“Alexandra” Cat calls, trying to appease her but still commanding “Let him speak”

Resentfully, she does while clenching her teeth.

The Prince stood taller “I never fully agreed with Daxam’s participation in this war and since the moment the preparations for it began I knew it was wrong.Kara has always been kind to me and although our courting was fruitless she is dear to me”

Alex almost scoffed. They didn’t even court properly, it had been merely a prospect and her sister had never matched his interest.

He made a musing pause before looking at her “I don’t want her to die”

It was annoying how honest his eyes were, so she rushed to redirect the conversation.

“Am I supposed to believe you changed your mind mid-war? All because you don’t want her to die”

“There’s something else” He searched below his belt and pulled a folded stained paper “Alura sent word to me of something and I’ve corroborated it. It’s…well”

He lifted the letter for her to take. Alex didn’t want to go near him.

“Here,” J’onn took it and place it in her hand.

She read the words, Alura’s handwriting was distinctive and pristine. Her eyebrows rose with every word that was read.

Rhea wasn’t a nice individual and Alex had always felt icky about her but she would have never guessed the woman would kill her own husband to take full control of the crown.

“She told me it had been some disease” Mon-El sounded hurt, torn “Lex visited shortly after his funeral. They were already planning this and my father was the last of the obstacles still in the way”

Alex wetted her lips, she had always judged him a spoiled child with no backbone. Perhaps she was wrong.

“Lex has to die and my mother…she can’t rule anymore. I’m offering you help to win this war, to get Kara back”

She folded the letter and meet his eye “Let’s march then” 

...

She was pushed back and heard how the wood creaked, so harsh a blow she almost lost her balance. A guttural shout came out of the man as he pulled the ax, her feet quickly got her out of range. He charged again, a mass of muscle twice her stature.

At least ducking was easier, otherwise, her head would be gone. It had taken the airhead multiple tries to realize he was aiming too high, so now he had chosen to swing wildly into her shield. The good part was he couldn’t get her below the belt without basically doubling over.

_Not so cursed by being five feet then_ , Lucy thought.

The next hit was even more brutal, he was getting tired of chasing her, turning impatient. Lucy felt like her shoulder was on fire, she let out a low grunt at the effort but waited. His arm drew back once more and the heavy ax glimmered under the hot sun.

Lucy took a sharp breath and steeled herself. He struck down, she let the shield tilt when the ax hit it and stepped out. Her sword connected with his leading shin, cutting cleanly to the bone, and for as strong as he was it marked his defeat.

She put the blade through his chest to end him.

Ahead, a wall of soldiers marched their way. Lucy surveyed her own fighters, dripping sweat and rolling their tired shoulders. Still brave, still ferocious, even in the face of an uneven battle. 

The formation of archers made another clump of arrows fly over the enemy, many of them fell but the rest kept advancing. For every man she killed there, three more ran her way. it seemed endless.

She’d wanted to hold the riverfront but Umbra’s forces quickly overwhelmed them, had them slowly retreating as they struggled to stand their ground. Lucy knows they’re softening the ground with expendables, soon enough the cavalry will come in to swipe them.

Most of the mounted men had gone to battle Daxam. What they had was archers and spearmen, foot fighters. Her temples palpitated as the scenario ran in her head, left her feeling foggy.

Lucy shook her head, she couldn’t feel that way. She was commanding.

“Fall back!” she shouted “we have to secure the bridge”

The order was echoed and the retreat started. Giving up ground wasn’t ideal but the bridge was narrow, they’d still be outnumbered but it would restrain Umbra’s lines of attack.

It was a solid move tactically but offered Lucy no letup. They were retreating to the bridge, after that it’d be the gate.

Eventually, the hold on the gate will break, leaving the Umbrian’s to storm in and turn Tal-ash into a pile of rubble.

She readjusted her splintered shield, glared at the incoming onslaught ready to destroy everything on their wake.

But first, they’re going to have to cut her to pieces.

…

Kara opened her eyes at the sound of sniffling. Thanks to the unsoftened surface her neck was stiff. After being delivered a surprisingly exuberant meal she had dozed off, the only real rest she’d had in what felt like an eternity.

It might have been the food that had given her the calmness to do so. Although, most likely, it had been Lena’s short visit. Enough to make her remember there were still things of light in a world being consumed by darkness.

Her people were children of the sun. Yet, Lena –a girl birthed in the Shadowlands– glimmered in a way Kara had never seen. 

Warm enough to chase away the cold, enough to make her feel less numb.

Kara moved from her corner of the cell and towards her mother. She sat by her side, inside her, a pang of deep guilt arose. What should she say to correct her indifference? What could even offer any semblance of comfort?

Nothing came to mind so she just slid her hand into Alura’s. The woman looked at their joint fingers and then her way, blinking with wet lashes.

The prayer slithered out of her mouth with ease she found striking. Old words, heavy and longing, the same ones recited at her father’s funeral.

“You have been the sun of our lives”

Astra’s smile flashed in her eyes, a gesture smoothly lacing strength and beauty.

“Our prayers will be the sun that-“she choked, feeling the sting of incoming tears.

Alura helped her by tightening their holding of hands.

“Our prayers will be the sun that lights your way on the journey home” her throat felt like it was shedding. It hurt and hurt, and never stopped.

_It’ll hurt forever_ , she realized.

Her mother joined her “We will remember you every dawn. And await the night we meet you in the sky.

Rao’s will be done” they finished.

Kara shut her eyes and tried to save herself from a fit of sobs. It was futile, Alura embraced her and shushed her kindly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really slow chapter, pretty much just a setup for the final battle


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this thing right here is a monstrosity

First Lena had pondered about killing Lex, which to be fair she already wanted to do anyway. The problem with that, assuming she accomplished it, is that there are still ten thousand men that will absolutely have her dead.

The second option was something requiring delicacy: getting Kara and Alura out of Argo. She knew about the secret tunnels underneath the castle, she could have them escape through there.

Sadly, she was never alone. The room where she spent most of her time was kept locked and in the limited moments they let her out to eat and bathe the guards where there. Lockwood was always there.

The third option was degrading and most likely a waste of time but she had to exhaust every resource. So here she was.

“Let them live. Please, Lex”

The desperation didn’t need to be faked.

“Oh God, are you serious?” The King pressed a finger to his temple “no, Lena. Stop already”

“You can exile us. Tell everyone you killed us and nobody has to know the truth”

“I’m never going to agree to that. You know it, I know it. Let’s move on” Lex stared her down, feed up “We’re going to have an empire. Everything you ask for will be given to you. How can some wimpy Kryptonian girl compare to that?”

She wanted to slap him. Tell him Kara had more greatness on her than the entire thirty-four generations of the Luthor name, more honor on her pinky than Lex has in his entire body.

Lena reeled back her insults “You can have your empire. All I ask is you give me this, _her_. Please, if you love me at all, please”

“It is precisely my love for you that drives my actions. The Kryptonian’s have poisoned your mind, sister”

She shouted every dirty word on memory, called him all the low terms she could muster, and even when they ran out she kept screaming. Even long after he’d walked away. 

In the end, there was no plan devised to save Kara. Perhaps someone else could, someone strong like Alex or Lucy.

A moment of weakness overtook her and she wished they’d never met, that Lionel had never found her and she could’ve remained a common girl that never got entangled with a Princess that smiled sunshine and kissed warm rain.

Regret came almost instantly, she didn’t want to forget a single thing about Kara. The only person she’d ever felt truly safe with, truly loved.

_“So what do you like to do?” Kara had asked her, that first week when they were still figuring out how to act around each other._

_Lena had pressed her lips together “um, read. I like to read”_

_“I’ve noticed,” Kara said with a charming grin “anything else?”_

_That simple of a question shouldn’t puzzle her so much. She scrapped through life, found comfort in what little she could like books and sunsets. Not much else though._

_Kara moved closer and weirdly it didn’t appear to be a pressuring gesture. Her look was earnest and soft, telling her she cared about what she had to say._

_Lena fidgeted at the attention, different to the standard disinterest she’d grown accustomed to. Somehow this woman didn’t seem to find her repulsive despite the haunting history between their families._

_Nor did she considered her an inferior thing unworthy of regard. The entire experience was odd since she had always been told she didn’t quite matter. She was the bastard daughter of a dead King, a low breed that was allowed to exist by the benevolence of Lillian, and later, Lex._

_But none of that reflected in Kara’s kind gaze._

_“I like playing chess and-“ she hesitated until the Princess nodded encouragingly “I can play the harp, just some simple melodies”_

_“Can’t wait to find you a harp then” Kara jumped in._

_It made her laugh. It made her comfortable “I tried poetry for a couple of years and I loved it but…” she trailed off. Lillian had told her it was silly and a waste of time._

_“What do you like to do?” she redirected the question to Kara._

_The blonde gapped, unprepared “I mean- I train, swordfight. That’s fun…mostly” she scratches her ear “drinking is more like a vice but it’s a good time. Rao, when Lucy starts the gambling, that’s when things get serious”_

_Kara wiggles her eyebrows and Lena suppresses a laugh by biting her lip. It really should be of concern how quickly she drops her guard around this girl._

_“Oh and sing! I like to sing. One of these days, if you want to, I can sing and you can play” the excited tone is contiguous “I know some really good ballads that work with harp”_

_“Sure” Lena’s chest warms at the idea._

_Their conversation stops for a moment, still slightly awkward. She turns her head in the setting silence, feels the weight of Kara’s eyes on her._

_“Hey”_

_The blonde shifts a little forward and Lena thinks she might reach out to touch her. She holds her breath and tries to push back the thought of how pretty_ _smiling_ _Kara is._

_There’s no touch but Lena finds herself wishing for it. Wanting it._

_“If you liked poetry, you could pick it up again. There are some great books that might inspire you in the library”_

_It’s sweet, it’s so fucking sweet. Lena wants to hide her face at the dumb astonishment that she is surely displaying._

_“Never give up on the things you love” Kara tells her._

Never.

Lena smashes the last breakable object in the room, a large mirror. Making sure to cut her hand in the process.

They sent Eliza in only twenty minutes later, Lena had stained her dress to keep the pressure on the gash. It wasn’t alarmingly big but bleed stubbornly.

By some divine luck, Lockwood was nowhere to be seen. Instead, a young boy escorted Eliza in and stood by the door, he was chiseled but probably not over eighteen, looking rather uninterested about them both.

“Does it hurt?”

Lena shook her head and she hadn’t been lying, but when Eliza poured water over it the sting made her hiss.

The boy has aligned his body half out the threshold and played with a coin. Lena saw the weird shape of the coin, too ovular and flat. _Not an Umbranian_ , Lena realized, _he’s Saturnian._

To confirm she asked, “Where’s the King?”

Lex’s men would have ignored her, but he didn’t.

He looked at her with a drowsy expression “Meeting with generals”

She’d never been to the Titan islands but there definitely an accent and he looked too tanned to belong to the Shadowlands.

When he turned his head Lena kicked the bucket of water. Eliza let out a little surprise sound as the liquid spilled over the floor.

“Oh god, Eliza,” she said falsely embarrassed “forgive me, I must’ve moved”

“No, it’s fine, I was already f-“

Lena cut her off, and turned to the Saturnian, disguised her intentions with naivety “I’m sorry, could you please get us more water”

He stared for a long moment with distrust. She looked at her injured hand and pulled on her lip slightly.

“Uh, yes” he picked up the bucket and backtracked, eyes still on her “I’ll go get it”

Once he walked out Lena turned to a confused Eliza “You saw Kara, right?”

“Yes, yesterday. Do you know him?”

“No, but that's actually a blessing. We need to get Kara and Alura out”

“What? How?” the healer shook her head “Lena, I don’t think we’re in a position to do that. Our only hope is Kal-El”

At least on that, they agreed. She doesn’t know much from the Man of Steel, apart from that he had renounced his status and that Lex had once called him a friend.

Her best insight was from Kara, the few stories that included her cousin were embedded with affection. Kara loved him like a brother. That’s as much as Lena knew.

“You’re right but he’s also outmatched. We can’t rely on him alone”

Eliza seemed to deflate at the rationalization, Lena reached to hold her hand.

“So what do we do?”

She lowered her voice “we’ll wait until he’s here”

If she’s sure of something is that Lex will give Kal-El his undivided attention once he arrives. Never before had there been a reason to gladden at her brother’s fixation.

“They’ll leave a small crew to guard the castle, I’ll be easier to sneak around”

“Lena, that’s not possible. We can’t just- I mean, you’re locked up here and I’ve got guards on me every day”

“How many?”

“At least two”

“You have Maypop right?”

At night, when Lena was still a kid with a fear of the dark, the flower had been an assurance for fast dreamless sleep. 

“Oh” Eliza’s eyes widen “you want me to…alright but after that?”

“Get to the dungeons, give some to the warder, perhaps on his ale. When he’s out you help Kara and Alura escape”

“What about you?” Eliza asked worriedly.

“I’ll find a way” she swallowed heavily “but if I’m not there… please get them out, Eliza”

“but-“ Eliza stopped abruptly as the guard returned.

He put down the bucket and glanced at Lena, cleared his throat timidly “-water?”

Lena smiled kindly “Thank you”

The boy returned the smile, albeit smaller still gentle. Too gentle for someone aligned with the devil.

Eliza wrapped her cut neatly when it was clean. Left her after giving her a meaningful look and a whispered blessing for her safety in Kryptonian. 

…

The shackles were back on, breaking the delicate patron of the satin on her sleeves.

“I must say, I still can sort of understand the appeal that has blinded my sister ” Lex said with a sardonic quirk of lips.

Kara wished she could get to him, strangle him with the short chain gripping her wrists. Sadly there were enough men to put her down at the slightest attempt and Alura was giving her that severe _‘don’t do it’_ stare.

That didn’t mean she had to hold back her disgust towards him, with that she was transparent.

“Now that somewhat presentable, I can see why my sister keeps throwing tantrums upstairs” He said “still, incredibly immature”

It had been two days since she had seen Lena and the mention pissed her off. The condescendence that this man poured into every sentence that involved her Zhao.

“This whole war is a tantrum. you're twice her age but act more like a child than she ever has”

Ben Lockwood took angry steps her way. Lex stopped him with a lifted palm, commanding him like a well-trained dog.

“No need, Liberty. Desperate words shouldn’t be taken seriously” he treated her like a fool “You don’t have to keep this up. I know Kal-El doesn’t have the men to take the city, so-“moving closer he brushed a finger over the fitted fabric on her shoulder “I’m going to take you to the gate and you’ll plead your cousin to surrender, we don’t have to engage in useless bloodshed”

Her eyes dug into his with hatred.

“You’re afraid of him” Kara said, the more she pushed to awake recklessness the better “you hate us because you’re afraid”

“Is that so?” His jaw twisted, the irritation on his face made her lips curl up.

Kara lowered her tone as if relaying a secret “My cousin is going to crush all of your rotten cutthroats, and when you have nobody to hide behind I’m going to split your skull down the middle”

She could’ve sworn she saw him flinch, or at least like he was about to. Before covering it up with a wheezing laugh and his cocky demeanor.

“That right there” He pointed to her expression “that resistance is what is going to make this so fun. When you finally realize I’ve truly destroyed you”

“Likewise”

That earned her a backhanded hit. Her lip split thanks to the compact surface of the ring on his finger. Then Lex wiped the blood with his knuckle with a pitiful frown, Kara almost bit his finger off.

“I’m sure we’ll find out very soon”

He left after that with a calm step. Kara knew he was uneasy though, she made out the cracks in his controlled character.

Alura blew out a long breath “why?”

“Because it pleases me to see him squirm, even a little” joys where scarce this day, she took what she could “it’s not like we have much to lose anyway”

“He’s Lex Luthor, he’ll find something”

They’ve been relocated from their cell to a small room at a higher level, one of the servant’s quarters. She’d get to wash for the first time in a week, a slight reprieve that gave her both glee and suspicion. When Lex entered, after the maids had finished dressing them, that gut instinct was validated.

 _Plead_ , fuck that. She wasn’t going to plead for anything, their execution was planned, either way, surrendering wouldn’t change that.

“They must be close” she murmurs, knowing the King wouldn’t have moved them otherwise.

Alura sits down on the little bed against the back wall, and hums in agreement “Things are about to get…tempestuous”

“You think they’ll win?”

Kara didn’t mean to have hope because most surely it was only a matter of time before it got crushed. Still, the last tidbit of the family she has is coming to fight a doomed battle, so hopes and prayers are owed.

“Well, I know Alex is never going to stop until she was you back” the reassurance came out with an undertone of sadness “or Kal-El for that matter”

“Stubborn idiots,” Kara said with a nostalgic chuckle, “you think Jonathan is going to be like that?”

Alura smiled “Definitely”

Kara thought back to the beautifully carved and painted set of knights she’d stashed in one of her drawers. A gift for Jonathan’s first birthday, the date just a month away. She should have sent it early.

…

“So, this is where we part”

Alex gave him a quick glance before continuing the inspection of her bowstring “For now, yes”

J’onn shuffled his feet apprehensively “I should-“

“Come with me?” She interrupted, a teasing smirk on display “absolutely not. Someone has to make sure Mon-El keeps his word. You’re the most reliable person I know”

“Flattery won't make me less worried”

Alex turned to him “I’ll be fine. You guys will do the heavy lifting, all I have to do is scurry in like a rat and get our girls out of there”

“twenty soldiers, against who knows how many” J’onn frowned so hard she thought his brows would lock together forever.

“Way to boost my confidence” 

“I don’t mean it like that”

“I know” making sure not to limp so apparently she moved closer, placed a hand on his shoulder “but it’s going to be fine. You just give them something else to worry about and I’ll be in and out”

A snap of fingers “like that”

He doesn’t look convinced but concedes “Be careful, please”

Kal-El finds them, swerving between the crowd of horses and armed Kryptonians to get to Alex’s small division, followed by Cat and Mon-El.

“Thought we should have one last run down”

“Fair enough,” Alex says, putting her shortsword around her waist. Only one, because her leg will protest if she adds any more weight.

“I move in first with Cat, giving Lex a big target to focus on. He doesn’t know we have Daxam with us and will expect me to concentrate all of my forces on one single attack”

 _Fucking self-assured dick_.

Kal-El continues “J’onn and Mon-el will breach the westside gate – which they probably won’t even bother to fortify- and diverge the forces inside the city, blocking the way towards the castle”

“With his eyes on the main gate and on the streets, Alex will be free to take the tunnels, get inside the castle and carry out the rescue quietly”

“Aye” she chimes and Cat Grant throws her a chastising glare.

One long night and all the shit they’ve been through will be over, she’ll put Lex’s head in a spike and let Sam hold her in bed until she feels human again.

“Hey”

Kal-El looks like a mountain, clad in his lustrous armor already. In comparison, Alex feels tiny, in her padded layers of leather. Granted, her task will require more skill and stealth than endurance so all of the heavy metal would just slow her down.

“You look ridiculous” she says.

He laughs and loses a lot of his intimidating factor “I suppose I do”

“I was kidding, Man of steel” she pushes him lightly “spit it out, what is it?”

“Nothing, just wanted to say goodbye and…be safe”

If she wanted to be safe she’d be walking in the other direction. Alex nods sharply regardless “You too”

She watches a large host of their army march forward towards Argo. J’onn’s unit is mostly made of Daximites soldiers and a hundred of Cat’s well-trained archers, and they go in a seemingly amiss direction. They’ll have to take a wide turn to get to the westside gate.

Is late noon, she croons her neck to stare at the blue sky. In a couple of hours the sun will die and who knows if she’ll get to see it again.

Sam comes to her, long hair gathered in a simple braid Lois had worked on before they left Metropolis.

“I found this, though you could wear it”

Alex glimpses the object in her hands “Sam-“

“It’s not heavy, you can wear it under your clothes” her talk is soft but adamant.

She sighs and reaches for it. The thing barely passes as a chest plate, sturdy but not thick enough to offer much protection. Sam’s right, it barely weighs a pound, maybe less.

It’s possible it’ll withstand some light grazes but a sword will go right through it. Still, when brown eyes stare at her imploringly she caves in.

Sam drags her away from the group, behind the wide trunk of a tree, and sits her down on a big root sticking out. Alex groans a little at the stiffness of her leg, head bowing to see if there’s any blood that might signal its reopening.

It looks fine. Careful fingers run through her short hair and Rao is she weak, and broken and afraid. She lets her forehead rest against the firmness of Sam’s thigh. 

“Breathe”

“It’s going to be alright”

And she obeys, deep in and outs. She breathes humid earth, sweet flower buds, and Sam. It calms her down, so much she might drift into a slumber. Right there against warm trousers, under a willow tree.

Eventually, Sam coaxes her out of her layered leather and straps the chest plate into position, flushed tight against the plain-woven linen of her shirt.

It encases her heart and lungs in an iron cage meant to protect her. Her chin is pulled upwards, the face above is reflected a type of yearning she’s never had directed her way.

“Alex”

She doesn’t mean her mouth to gape but looking up at her that’s all she can do. Her hands grab onto the back of Sam’s legs and tug, the compliance is immediate, and soon the woman bows down to meet her.

Sam kisses her slow, almost fearfully but Alex doesn’t want more fear. She tilts her head and cups her face, draws her in, almost too forcefully. Sam responds to her eagerness with sweet licks that make her breathless.

_Rao why did it take us this long?_

…

The sun is half-buried in the horizon when they finally spot land, but it’s far from a celebration. There, between them and the bay, there’s a fleet awaiting, keeping them from reaching port.

“Shit” James had uttered before enrolling in an uninterrupted stream of orders. 

Shouts were heard everywhere as orders where relied form ship to ship, trying to prepare franticly for the unexpected combat.

Nia saw the proud orange of the banners and almost smacked herself. Saturn, her dreams should’ve warned her about this or…had she interpreted wrong? Had she missed something? How could she overlook such thing?

Her head swirled like she was going to be sick, except she has spent her entire life in the ocean. She can’t be seasick. A woman rushes past her, bumps her shoulder roughly. A man roars instructions to ready the rowers and set the Ballistaes for shooting.

“Nia! Nia!” James grabs her by the wrist “are you alright?”

“I didn’t think…” she drifts off and James crouches to look at her.

“Come on, you can stay in the captain’s courters while-“

She shakes her head “No, I’m fine. Saturn?”

“Yes, it seems Lex has more allies than we thought”

“How many do you think?” she tries to count the cluster “two hundred?”

“Nearing that, maybe a couple more. We’ve had the numbers at least” James sound relived “We’ll round them up, pin them to the coastline if they have any common sense they’ll surrender”

“If they don’t-“she prompted

“We make the water red.” he said simply.

She gave no argument, instead retrieved her weapons in a haste and tied her hair. When she stepped back into the deck the grappling hooks and the ladders were already drawn, at hand for them to board the galleys and find either death or glory.

Ahead the Saturnian fleet had started maneuvers but Nia knew they had taken too long. The wind was in their favor, swelling the sails and sending a heavy sprinkling of saltwater overboard.

She found James on the prow, staring at the incoming line of ships.

“They’re going to try to hit us” he tightens his hold on the sword’s hilt.

Nia rested her ax on her shoulder, felt the rear spike pocked her in the back while the front edge ghosted her ear. She could almost hear the song of clashing metal already.

“Sink us? Not in this life”

The Nura was a warship at top speed with a hard built hull. The closer they got the more apparent it became that most of Saturn’s fleet was made up of slow cogs, good vessels for trading but not to fight.

Merchants in a war, what promises had Lex made to convince them?

It didn’t matter. Nia cleared her head, all she had to focus on was the battle.

The clashing was brutal, the wood creaked loud as a strike of thunder. The Nura was stirred right and the Saturnian ship brushed with an awful scraping sound along the side.

Some of the men jumped decks, only half made it. They were decided, Nia would give them that.

She had a moment to send word to her mother, somewhere in a green pasture waiting for her to come. _Not today_ , _but one day._

After that, she made herself one with the iron, weld it to her hands, and followed James into the main deck. There was already more ship climbing happening from both sides and so her ax lifted to stop an angry sword.

The girl was young, perhaps the same age as her. In any other situation, they might have even liked each other.

But not now.

Nia had to backtrack and duck, receiving a quick series of attacks but then she swung her own weapon. The back spike hit heavy, pushed the blade away. She delivered a second hit.

She lamented it before it happened. The head of the ax plunged into the girl’s neck horribly and the blood slipped out in a gush.

The girl had wide eyes filled with fear rolling back as she died. Nia drew back, felt the bitter taste of liquid rising up her throat. But then she had another one to kill, a man with flared nostrils and angry snarls.

So she continued. If she lived, she’d have time to remember the faces that she took today, time to feel remorse. But not now.

…

Clark found the gates of the city unfamiliar, the wall was tall but he could see how the fire had engulfed some of the structures behind it. The gate itself had been marked where a battering ram was used to force it open. A commodity they sadly don’t have.

Speed had been prioritized, which meant no trebuchets, catapults, battering rams, or ladders. What they did have was a vast supply of oil, meant to light the torches.

It had been Cat’s suggestion to burn down the massive wooden door. In theory, it was a good idea, the fire and smoke would coerce a retreat from the gate or a great effort to save it. Both options gave them the chance to burst through.

Of course, they had to make it to the gate first. He had seven thousand men to make it work. Plus the Daximities, that would hopefully make the ultimate difference, standing their ground to avoid the forces to return to the castle, a much more fortified spot they could hold for months.

“Kal-El”

The name took a second to register. He had been Clark Kent for three years and it had almost made him forget that there was another part of him. The last son of an old line… apart from his boy, but he wasn’t sure about Jonathan’s involvement in that legacy yet.

He walked away for a reason, for a simpler life and a family that wasn’t under threat. Now he was regretting it. Leaving his own kin, leaving Kara, the last daughter.

Cat watched him, with that air of impatience she always held. She didn’t like wasted time.

Kal-El snapped back from her wandering thoughts “Your Grace?”

“We’re ready”

Behind him, the formation was arranged tightly. Foot soldiers, archers, and cavalry, dutifully waiting to charge. Krypton’s red and blue banner was darkening as the sun fled, The Grant’s white looked vivacious in comparison.

“Seems they are too” He turned his profile to the battlements, where Umbra’s men observed them, like ugly gargoyles. Waiting for their approach.

And approach them they shall. Kal-El adjusted his gauntlet, fists now covered in well-forged steel. He was about to put his helmet on when the gate opened, and he almost hopped in his horse in a hurry.

Then he realized it wasn’t an attack, only the figure of a solitary person heading out. The distance made him squint but he didn’t recognize him.

“It’s not Lex” he pointed out.

Cat scoffed “He wouldn’t expose his bald head, no matter how confident he is”

Yet, she was wrong. The men walking up wasn’t Lex, but two other figures now stood at the gate and there was no mistaking them.

Kal-El climbed his horse, didn’t gave her time to argue.

“If they kill me, carry on”

He pulled the reigns and galloped straight as the pressure started to build on his temple. _She can’t be here, she’s supposed to be in the castle. It can’t be._

Nonetheless, despite his wishes, Kara was right there. Which meant their perfect plan was already unraveling. Alex was going to lose it.

…

Lena watched the sunset from the balcony of the room and as the night took over she felt a rising wave of dread. Kara prefers sunrises, adores the wonder of cold giving way to warmth. 

She begs to both their gods that they let her _zhao_ to see another one. A thousand more.

It has started, even from the secluded space she had heard the rush, as people prepared for battle. She’d heard chainmail, parading boots, and restless shouts. It had stretched along for hours and now the silence pierced her ears. 

_They’re gone. Most of them anyway._ She hadn’t seen Lex a single time today, if he had no time to toy her around it meant he was to whatever extent worried. That also explained why Lockwood wasn’t guarding her, because he is guarding him.

Lena knew him –as thoroughly as anyone had ever been allowed to– he hid his fear behind sharp smiles but it prevailed. Lionel had left them many things, many they had tried to leave behind. of the fear they never got rid of.

The door opens shortly after she knocks it and Adrik has a half-smile on his face when to opens. Turns out he’s the fifth son of some minor lord of Saturn, he had told her so very proudly over a game of chess. 

Lena felt bad for deceiving him but it was crucial to get out.

“Your Highness” he greeted happily.

“I thought someone might have relieved you”

She waited as he scratched his neck in a fidgety motion.

“No, there’s nobody to relieve me. The others are very busy”

“God, you must be tired. You’ve been here all day, I couldn’t think of anything more boring”

His hands lifted in an appeasing gesture “oh no, it- I haven’t been bored. You’re good and let me play chess” his accent thickened with the eagerness to explain.

“I’m happy to hear that” She puts on a sweet smile and hopes is convincing “Adrik, I was just wondering if you could take me to the library. I finished this one a long time ago”

He stares at the heavy book on her hands “uh- I’m sorry, I’m not supposed to let you outside”

Lena keeps a tight hold of her distress and drops her hands in resign “I had to try, they help when I can’t sleep. The other guards don’t even open the door when I knock but I thought-“she shakes her head and looks up at him.

She lets a heavy pause run before touching his arm lightly “Thank you. I’m sorry to have bothered you with such silly things”

Adrik’s mouth opens and closes, voice lost. Lena turns around and starts to push the door closed, internally screaming, _please, please, please_.

“Wait” there’s a thud when he slaps his hand onto the door. She lifts her chin and paints on childlike anticipation, he flusters “I want to take you. To the library! take you to the library”

A chuckle escapes her, his words sound a little like Kara’s.

He gets lost twice and so Lena ends up being the one taking him to the library. They don’t run into anyone in the way but when they pass the ajar door of the great hall she sees them, drinking and laughing, thrilled of being unsupervised.

The library is dark, although the moon shines and pours a pale glow over the bookcases. Lena runs her hand over some of the ridges and pulls out one of substantial size, hefty, and with a hard spine.

“So, what will you read now?”

She translates roughly the Kryptonian “The life and rule of Prym-El the second”

“Oh, sounds-“he hesitated “interesting?”

“Yes” she walks to stand in front of him and he swallows nervously “thank you for this”

The smile she received was so bright she wished they had assigned another person to guard her.

“You’re a very sweet boy” she meant that “I’m sorry”

Lena hit as hard as she could with the edge of the book, it startled him enough for her to push him.

Adrik fell to the ground with a smack and gasped, his eyes searched hers, filled with confusion. She kicked him in the face and his head hit the hard floor. The body stayed still, unconscious.

She spared him one last pitiful glance before running out.

...

Kal-El dismounted graciously, even with the many pounds of steel protecting his body. The stallion he was riding stumped as he left to meet the man with the black chainmail.

Kara saw him looking beyond, to where she was standing some feet behind. She took a step forward instinctively, Lex pulled her back brusquely. It wouldn’t take much to knock him down but she was aware of the archers lined up atop the wall.

“His Majesty, the King, demands the immediate surrender of your army and that you freely lay yourself and your officials responsible for your actions, for him to give a just punishment” Ben Lockwood delivered neutrally. 

“This is how you greet an old friend, Lex? You send some other men to discuss terms?”

He barely had to raise his voice. Kara felt the grip Lex had on her arm tighten, otherwise he seemed unaffected.

“There’s no discussion to be had” Lex advanced with measured steps “you’ll do as I say”

“Why?”

The King let out frustrated growl “Why? Because I’ll kill you all if you don’t”

Kal-El didn’t express a single ounce of fright “That you’ll do regardless. I have no intention of attaining to an empty offer”

“But” He continued “if _you_ surrendered and freed my family, I might let you live”

That made Lex furious “I could end you right here” he put a hand in the back of Kara’s neck and squeezed “I could put your lovely cousin on her knees and cut off her head. Make you watch”

The blue of Kal-El’s eyes evoked frostbite, his hand went to perch over the pommel of his sword. Lockwood stood taller and reached as well with unease. 

“I can cut you both down before any of your men get a good hit” his voice was the low rumble of a predator “you won’t be alive to see us fall” 

Lex clenched his teeth, Kara rejoiced in his outrage.

 _Run back into your castle, gutless fucker._ The words danced on her tongue, precariously held back.

Suddenly the King of Shadows smiled, talk slow and venomous “oh, I’ll see it. Right, Kara?” his hard hold made her neck tilt uncomfortably “we will make sure he has a seat at the table for another feast. He’ll be more than welcome, tell him”

“Tell him!” he shouted in her ear.

She caught the sight of her cousin, his heavy breathing showing how close he was to losing it.

“Kal, don’t” she told him, surprised at her own restraint.

He stared at her, apprehension written on his face, but listened.

Lex cackled and shook his head “Fine, I’ll let you fight. Put up a nice spectacle for me” Kara received a pat in the back “your cousin and I will be watching”

After that he hurled her around, pushing her back to the gate. Kal-El jumped on his horse, galloping back to the army outside the city.

Kara was impressed at the number of people he’d managed to gather, had expected far less, and it gave her a spark of hope. When Lex set them up on the watchtower she could see it affecting him too.

“Send them out” He ordered, gaze lost on the mass of soldiers “I don’t want anybody alive besides Kal-El”

Within the distance she could make out the figure of her cousin, he had stayed on his horse, ready to lead the rest into battle.

“Have you ever fought in an open field, Kara?”

 _Have you?_ She almost spat but chose silence instead.

“Uneven terrain can be used strategically to fight off large forces but in an open field…your cousin is dumb or desperate. Both surely”

“And yet you’re afraid”

Lex’s eyes had gotten even colder, harshly contrasting with the orange glow coming from the torches.

“You keep playing brave” his words came a hiss “alas, it won’t do any good. Not when I sit you in front of my sister and gauge your eyes out. She’ll weep, of course, but it’ll instill her some discipline”

Kara pulled her wrist apart, the iron clasps digging into her flesh uncomfortably. They were so close to the edge she could push him, he’d fly out of the tower and squash his head with the collision.

She could.

“That would come much later though after you have watched your mother and cousin die. Feel joyful, you’ll live the longest”

She wanted to. Her reason persuaded her not to, barely. Lex smiled at her silence, at having recovered control.

The sound of heavy gates opening reached them. With no preamble the Umbranian horde spews out of the city, aggressively charging forward in an arc formation. Thousands of people made into a brute force.

Krypton had advanced as well, banners high and chants of glory. It was only a couple of minutes, both sides in the perfect arrangement and a picture of courage. The splendor of armor shining in the shifting firelight, a stomp of feet and hoofs so loud it shook the ground.

The clash happened almost unexpectedly and the lines broke into an ugly mass. Kara felt herself recoil, her eyes squinting in the search for Kal-El. She couldn’t see him, among the multitude of fighting knights, all far too similar.

Until a rain of arrows descended suddenly, leaving behind some gaps as the soldiers tried to disperse and avoid being shot down. Kara saw him, tall above his horse delivering hits with a spear. But she quickly lost him again. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had to split chapter 12, so here's the rest of that

Alex heard it in the distance, the loud commotion of sounds mixing in together as it all began. It was their time to move in.

They swept through the grass, with the perimeter unwatched but still moving carefully, twenty figures in the dark.

The entrance to the tunnels hid on a decline, not much different in appearance to a normal ditch. Most people would think it part of the sewers.

She has to duck to pass through, but once inside there’s enough room to stand. For her anyway, because Sam still has to keep her neck down.

With her palm against the wall, she leads the line down the small conduct , fingers tracing the smooth stone. It was like sliding down a creature’s throat, disorienting and interminable, but then her hand stumbled with two large ridges.

“Here”

She praised herself for having covered the hole before chasing Astra, otherwise the Umbranians would have notice it. Except now she couldn’t move the heavy barrel out of the way and trying made her pale in pain.

Sam pushed her back gently and moved the barrel out of the way. Alex would’ve been embarrassed but a hand was already soothing her with a snug hold on her waist.

“I’ll help you up” her offer came in a whisper.

Everybody knew she was hurt but she didn’t like displaying it. Still, time was of the essence and it was dark enough for only one or two people to see her.

She hummed in agreement and shuffled for guidance. Sam lifted her far too easily and Alex hardly had to pull her body over with her arms.

Soon they were all inside the small room, Alex stuck her head out but there was nobody in sight. The dungeons weren’t too far off, all they had to do was take two lefts and a right, go downstairs and they’ll be at the cells.

Their advance was quiet, furtive, like thieves. Her arrow was drawn, waiting for the first man who crossed them. Nobody did, the halls where desolated. It made sense, they were expecting enemies from the outside.

Alex nearly rolled head first down the stairs when they were visible but Sam stopped her with a firm hand over her chest.

“You can’t do stairs” it left no room for argument “wait here, make sure no one comes this way. I’ll bring them up”

In order to nod she had to bite down on the inside of her cheek. Going down and up again would’ve at least taken her ten minutes, maybe less if she just ripped her wound open with disregard.

So she waited with half of the company, dutifully watching both sides of the corridor. She flexed her fingers around the bowstring nervously.

It was weird to be so uneasy in the place she had called home, standing in the same hallways she used to run by when chasing a giggling Kara when they were kids. A home they might have to leave behind.

 _No_ , she rebuked, _family. That’s home. And she's getting her girls out alive._

She turned at the sound of steps but as soon as Sam's face appeared, Alex knew something was wrong.

“it’s empty” 

Alex’s insides twisted and pulled like they’re being removed. It had been a possibility, but Alex had believed it was a slim chance, just fucking unlikely.

“one of the cells was definitely used” Sam spoke calmly in response to her rising panic “they took them out recently”

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

“Where could they be?”

Her brain searched for ideas. There are a thousand rooms in the castle where to look, she thought of the obvious place, the rooms on the Queen’s tower. No, he wouldn’t put them somewhere that familiar to them.

Alex tightened the hold that had slackened on her bow, she’ll search the whole castle if she had to.

“We cover the ground levels, then move up” she looks at her soldiers, at least half of them she trained herself in the last five years “Let’s try to keep it quiet for as long as we can, but if it goes south we still move forward. If we get split up you still move forward. If you are alone you move forward”

She knows she’s asking too much, can see it on their faces “and once you get to them, you get them out. Even if it’s just you” 

They stay on light feet, advancing in an organized squadron. This part of the castle has mostly storage rooms but Alex checks them regardless before moving on, she starts to wonder when they’ll cross someone.

Most likely the Umbranians have rallied at the heart of the castle, on the Great Hall or the Throne Room. Perhaps outside, on the courtyard, trying to catch some of the action going on at the gate.

She starts to think that maybe they won’t run into anyone, that getting her sister is going to be –by Rao’s will– effortless. That is until she hears a chorus of laughter ahead, just in the next turn.

“Why are you acting all stuck-up?” a deep voice asks.

Alex takes a peek, finds a group of four men forming a semicircle. She can only see the lower half of the person they have backed against the wall, the blue dress floating above the tiptoeing shoes.

“Don’t you want us to keep your secret? or we tell him you were sneaking out?” he extends an arm forward, Alex sees a small hand slaps it away. A round of hoots follows the action.

“Come on, it’ll happen sooner or later. Lockwood told us that he fucked your mother and that once this is over after he hands The King the head of the Kryptonian prince, he’ll have you too” his speech comes akin to nasty gunge “with all the trouble you’ve been causing I doubt Lex will care”

Alex decides she has heard enough, so she steps out and lines her shot.

“Ben isn’t above sharing and we’re all sworn brothers, Lena”

The breath catches in her throat at the name, making her stop. Sure enough the man moves to crush the short figure against the wall, Lena’s face ends up sticking over her shoulder as she strains to push him off.

Alex gets furious and releases the arrow, gets him in the back of the knee. Sam is already heading there, with the others on her toes. The men don’t even get a heads up, as the Kryptonians storm them. Only one of them has a knife, it doesn’t take more than fifteen seconds.

“Vazquez, wait” the woman stops mid-strike at the command.

The man is on the floor, panting as he holds himself against the wall. Alex twists the arrow, he screams in pain. 

“Quiet,” his eyes are unfocused, going from her to his dead friends on the floor “look at me, you fucking pig” Alex pulls the arrow out and puts it in again on his thigh. He whimpers, eyes watering. 

“Where are they?” she demands “where did you take them?”

At the lack of response she starts to pull again, fingers sticky with blood “This is going through your cock next if you don’t talk”

“I don’t know!”

Wrong answer. The flesh rips as the broad head of iron is drawn, she presses it against the front of his breeches.

“The kitchens! The servant’s room beside the kitchens!” he shouts.

“I appreciate the cooperation” she says with a stony face and then trusts the arrow in. He slumps down, hands coming to his crotch, and starts crying.

“Go ahead, Vazquez” She turns, but hears him beg until death silences him.

Lena is standing next to Sam, looking less discomposed by the violence than Alex expected. She puts a hand on her shoulder, the one that is not stained red.

“Are you alright?”

The girl skips over the question, her eyes fearful “I was coming for them, I thought they’d be there”

Alex nods “they're not. Come on, we have to find them”

They pick up the pace and their footsteps become more audible but Alex is running out of patience. Her attempts to push Lena to the back of the formation fail, she insists on being beside her and Sam.

“Most of them are in the Hall” the girl informs “we have to get past them to get to-“

The snap is thunderous and Alex feels like somebody just slapped her in the ear, her body moves out of the way instinctually but she’s not thankful about it when she remembers who’s with her.

Lena gasps when Sam pushes her out of the way and receives the hit with a grunt. Alex recovers enough to shoot the attacker while he reloads but that’s just the start of it, the corridor starts to flood with more of them.

“ _mizrhosh!_ ” Alex roars and the line of defense forms quickly to contain the incoming wave.

She keeps hitting targets as fast as possible “Sam?!” it’s a struggle to keep her eyes forward “Sam?!”

“I’m fine, it’s just my shoulder”

“Stay with Lena” she orders before refocusing on holding the blockade.

Her eyes search rapidly for archers but there’s not one in sight and the crossbowmen are slow, so she gets them quickly. The collision course is unavoidable and so they meet in a blaze of swords, the first line is almost run over but they push back.

They’re packed together, fighting so close that she has no room to pull the string anymore so she drops the bow to unsheathe her sword. She swings without deliberation and aims for exposed flesh, not too gracious but effective with the lack of space.

She goes from one body to the next, chopping and blocking in a frenzy that’s consuming. All she can think of is pushing forward and not giving up ground. Her feet continue to kick bodies and she knows that if she looks down some of them are her people.

At some point, she’d shouldered with Vazquez but now she couldn’t see her anymore and as the minutes went on, the river of Umbranians continuing to flow unrelentingly, Alex felt alone. How many of her friends were left? She couldn’t look back.

If she turned she was dead.

The blood made the corridor slippery and her leg was cramping, the pain just on the edge of unbearable. Her guard was getting sloppy, Astra would be appealed at the slouch of her stance.

A bulk of a man barreled into her and she was too slow to stop him. She took a tumble and landed over one of the dead, her enemy lifted and then dropped the sword. Alex rolled out of the way and her leg felt almost light as she sprung up.

There was no recovery, a sword flew laterally and scrapped her chest. The leather got sliced but the chest plate held on and she decided Sam was going to get everything she ever wanted for the rest of their lives.

He swung once more with such force Alex’s shoulders felt like popping out when she stopped the blow. A knee connected with her stomach and sent her backward, she tried to respond the strike only to get her nose bashed by a pommel.

A stream of blood ran down and filled her mouth, coppery, and warm. Through her watering tears, she saw him step heavily to deliver a death blow.

“Ah!” there was a clank as his weapon fell, his hands traveled to his belly and gripped the object that had suddenly punctured it. When the sword was pulled out some of his fingers got sliced and reached the ground, with him following a second later.

Sam stepped over him quickly “Alex!”

Alex spit out the mouthful of blood “yes?” she asked, a little scattered.

Finally she got to look around, she counted ten of her Kryptonians still holding up against several dozens of Umbranians. Sam was already on her, supporting most of her weight. Alex saw the big stain around her left shoulder, meaning she had pulled the bolt out and started fighting at some point.

“It hurts” She admitted, because now with the rush fading she felt it. Her leg was on fire. 

Sam dragged her away from the fight “I know, beautiful. I know”

She took a sharp breath in and stepped on it regardless, grunting. It was awfully stiff like a fucking wooden pole had replaced her muscle.

“You’re going with Lena, through the cellars”

Alex’s eyes widened and she clung to Sam, but she had already been passed down to Lena.

“Sam, no,” she fisted her clothing “no, come with me”

The woman smiled sadly and pried her fingers open “Go find them” Sam squeezed her hand before letting go “I’ll keep them off you”

“No, wait”

Sam kissed her, in a rush. With one last blaze of warmth “Go, Alex”

“but-“

Too late. Sam was already running back, swinging her weapon. Right arm firm and left arm shaky, blood dripping down the elbow. They were losing, backtracking as they tried to defend against the swarm.

Lena tugged her in a different direction but when she realized she couldn’t without cooperation she begged “Alex, please, we have to go. Kara needs our help”

Her eyes were burning like somebody had pressed red iron over them.

“Alex, please. If we don’t get them Lex will kill them”

 _If you are alone you move forward_ , had been her order. She hadn’t expected it to be her having to obey.

Alex forced herself to look away from Sam’s figure. Lena secured the arm over her shoulder and started walking, she let her lead.

Lena hurried them down to the cellars, crossing the dark humid plain and then resurfacing near the temple. Rao’s permanent light was gone, somebody had smashed the painted glass of the adorned lanterns and shredded the tapestries to ribbons.

They reentered the castle by sneaking into the buttery, the place looked raided, with most of the stock of beer now gone. The pantry seemed better managed but still in unideal condition.

“Almost there,” Lena said in a relieved tone “after we find them, where are we going?”

Alex nearly froze. Their plan had gone to shit and it wasn’t likely they would manage to return to where they had come from.

The best bet was to take the set of tunnels under the kitchen but those led to west, intended for an escape towards the bay. Their escape route had been set by the east, to Krym forest and then Argo, that’s where they'll be awaited.

They’ll have to go behind and around the whole city. It would take them too long.

“We’ll see” she responded. At least with Astra and Kara, they could stand a chance if some soldiers survived. Maybe they could turn back and help Sam.

Alex felt a spark of hope, she walked a little faster and the pain of her leg dulled. Of course, Astra could take on the remanding Umbranians easily.

There were several rooms in this section of the castle but one was already open, a guard drooped on a chair. A cup of brownish liquid spilled on the floor.

She untangled from Lena and approached with his sword raised. Someone came out of the room, Alex prepared to swing but promptly froze.

“Mom?”

Eliza had her in crushing hug before she knew it, crying in her ear and mumbling. Alex rubbed her back.

“I’m fine mom” she reassured “I’m fine”

Alura came out next, her eyes were also teary. Alex extended a hand over her mom’s shoulder, Alura grabbed it and squeezed. 

She stared at the door again, waited. Nothing.

Her heart sunk to the bottom of the fucking sea.

“Alex…” Alura started and her tone was devastating.

She let go of her mother and speed past Alura. The room was empty and Alex felt hollow at the sight, her heat a carcass.

Alura put her hands on her and Alex realized she had almost fallen. The Queen straighten her up, the sorrow expelling from every one of her features as she spoke.

“She’s at the gate”

…

Kara had spent her teens wishing to be on a battlefield. Thinking about the way she’d rush in and be unstoppable, how much honor it would bring to her house and kingdom. She’d been an idiot.

At first, she thought her cousin had managed to gain some ground over their enemies. That he was getting closer to the gate and to victory. Lex had read it in her face and snarled.

She understood soon enough, being close to the gate meant they were in better reach of the archers atop the battlements. They were being shot like pigeons for pie.

The screaming never stopped but kept on going like a delirious hymn, a reverberation of death. The terrain had been covered by a carpet of corpses and agonizing creatures that didn’t even looked like people anymore.

Kal-El was a clear figure now. He was one of the last still on a horse, probably because no one was to touch him. Lex’s orders.

Kara wonders how he must be feeling, forced to kill men who weren’t allowed to attack him or fight back. She can see him as he gallops, spinning his sword between the horse's flanks, giving brutal blows and leaving a trail of maimed men behind him.

It doesn’t look glorious, it’s just chaos and fear and blood-soaked grass.

Lex was leaning over the edge, lured by the conflict happening before them, enjoying the sight of lives extinguishing. All in his name.

He takes a break to glare her way contemplatively “what happened exactly that made my sister so _attached_ to you? What did you do?”

“Love, the thing your wretched family denied her”

“Love?” Lex shakes his head, lips curved “Well, of course, Lena was always so sentimental”

“You mean she isn’t a monster like you? 

The quip goes unattended “She is governed by emotion, even as she pretends otherwise, but this is the most adamant she’s ever been” he sounded thoroughly disappointed “and now her temper is getting out of hand. Perhaps I should let her have you”

Kara’s mouth went bitter at the suggestion.

“What harm would it do? You can warm her bed until I find her a husband”

The thought of Lena marrying someone of her brother’s choosing was a nightmare, Kara found the idea so repulsive and twisted she couldn’t contain her anger, hazarding forward in an attempt to get to him.

Lockwood caught her by the hair and Kara felt the cold edge of a blade on her neck.

The King inclined his head in contemplation “or maybe I’ll just kill you, as it is I can’t wait to-“

The screams had been loud since the start, a pounding sound that threatened to drive her mad. But it had come from one direction, the other side of the wall. Now it appeared that it had jumped over.

“What-“ Lex was equally confused at the unexplained eruption of noise.

A man arrived, sweating profusely and winded after climbing the stair “My King, they’ve breached the gate”

Lockwood pushed her off and stared at the soldier with anger “The gate stands, quiet your men”

“No, the gate on the west side of the city. They’ve broken in”

A pause was made, as the information settled in.

“How close are they?” The King’s breathing had picked up to a quick pace, his eyes akin to a prey in pursuit “how many?”

“I- close, we don’t know how many, the one giving the alarm said a lot”

Lex’s mouth remained open for a long moment before he could talk, for maybe the first time Kara heard him desperate. Afraid.

“Call them back” he choked up.

“What?”

“Call them back!” he screamed, every vein on his neck strained “Call them all back inside, now!”

The man stumbled out to carry out the order. Lex looked outside, making sense of the situation. Kara knew he had arrived at the same conclusion as her, if he stayed here he’d be stuck between two lines of fire.

“Get me out of here!” he screamed and Lockwood finally moved. He had to pivot back to grab her, having forgotten of her presence.

They descended from the watchtower, below the scenery was a clutter of panic with men struggling into armor or climbing up onto the wall walks. Everybody was running somewhere and screaming something, except the ones that stood frozen in shock.

Liberty dragged her by the chains as he searched for their horses, along the way her pulled another five men.

“With me, protect The King” she shoved Kara in the direction of a brawny boy “take her, she stays alive or I kill you”

He screamed into the face of a sixth “You, tell everyone that comes through that gate to get to the castle and fucking secure it!”

Kara kept her eyes on Lex, enjoying the way he looked absolutely horrified in the face of this sudden turning of events. They scurried away atop the horses, the rhythmic galloping their trail.

She looked behind her, over the shoulder of her captor. The gate was opening, the heavy wood slowly jaunting like jaws. The deep one note of a horn filled the air and a chorus of voices spread over the wall, as the men shouted their throats to shreds.

“Fall back!”

…

Clark doesn’t breathe for a long time, at least it doesn’t feel like he is.

His stallion has been lost courtesy of the hail of arrows. The armor had kept him alive, metal denting in the places flesh would be impaled otherwise. He was missing the sword as well, hidden somewhere along the bodies surely.

In an instant, they had tried to take him. A man had hit him across the face with a mailed fist and Clark had stayed conscious by some miracle, fought him into the ground before turning his face into mush.

His comrades had hurried and between three men managed do drag him several feet. Clark had twisted, whole body wrenching until one of them had slipped and dropped his weapon. The poleax had a broad head, when he swung it chopped midway through a neck before stopping. And then an arm, a leg, a face.

He stood once it was over, helmet gone, and only then did the air rushed into his lungs. There’s an uncomfortable sting on his eyes, as the sweat dripped inside and urges him to shut them. He can’t, he won’t.

Lois had said to him that if he died she’d make sure to slap him back to life and tell him how stupid he was. But she’d said it with tears while fisting his hair, Jonathan perched on her hip between them.

Rolling his shoulders he grips the handle of the ax. No dying tonight or his wife will be furious.

Clark hears something at his back, turns with the weapon ready.

The woman looked imposing despite how petite her frame had always been, the white horse huffed as he stopped beside him.

“Get on” Cat demanded.

He realized then that there was a loud ring, a horn being blown. Ahead the gate had split open and the Umbranian army was already abandoning the field. He leaped behind Cat, chasing after them, his warriors followed with an adamant surge.

Maybe they wouldn’t need to burn down the door. Not when Lex was letting them in.

…

Their advance echoed through the streets as they sped amidst the shifty shadows, buildings passing and converted into vague shapes. Under the moonlight, the horses seemed to be galloping among a mantel of stars.

Kara would’ve thought it pretty in different circumstances. The beauty of it was robbed as the man behind her breathing in her ear. Lex’s hairless head bobbed stupidly, turning to glance behind him in clear fear of being caught.

Next to him Lockwood led them with apparent composure, she suspected without him Lex would be in hysterics already. The castle was still a distant figure but nearing, as they reached Argo’s heart and it’s desolated market.

She knew she needed to stop Lex’s return to the castle, immediately. The rider that she had been entrusted to, was keeping a grip on her shackles, directing the horse with the other. He didn’t carry a sword but Kara had noticed a dagger on his waist.

If she reached for it, she could try to stab him. With a little luck, it wouldn’t bring down the horse. It’d be difficult with how crammed she was and with the few inches the chain allowed to work for her hands.

Still, Kara wasn’t going easy, the submission had worn out inside her. Her fingers flexed as she prepared to make her move, she took a deep stealing breath.

“Shit!”

The shout distracted her, called her attention to whatever had provoked such reaction. Lockwood had quickly changed the direction of their formation and Kara almost missed it.

But as they turned left into a narrow alley she spotted them. Mounted men. There was no chance to count them but more than just a few. It was dark but the moonlit enough to tell they weren’t Umbranians.

Kara lost sight of them as they headed down the new path. They weren’t gone though, she could hear them behind them. Lex looked over his shoulder with eyes wide, flicked the reigns in a desperate attempt to get away.

A guttural scream erupted with a high-pitched neigh, glancing back Kara confirmed the source. The last men of their column had fallen, or more accurately, cut down. The culprit’s sword was high and stained, headed for the next.

Recognition struck her, for a moment she questioned whether her mind was playing tricks on her. It wasn’t. Mon-El of Daxam was riding forward, teeth bared, and stare determined. He was gaining on them and within a few seconds, he killed another solider with a brutal slash.

“Liberty!” Lex sputtered, wrathfully.

He switched streets once more at the King’s hindrance and Kara noticed they were a few blocks away from the castle, where Lex had at least a hundred men.

Her body moved on impulse, fighting the man’s grip to pull on the reigns. Their horse relented, even as its rider spurred him to continue, confused. Kara pulled harder even as a fist hammer the side of her face.

Kara went sideways, almost fell off. Her hand gripped the horse’s mane, the rider tried to make the animal advance but it proved impossible. They had managed to spook it enough to kick its hind, sending them down. 

She landed on the hard stone, scrapped her forearms in favor of keeping her skull in one piece.

Mon-El had come to a halt next to her “Kara, are you alright”

She lifted herself and looked at the retreating figures “what are you doing! Follow them!” she shouted at him, running to the rattled stallion.

The soldier had been less fortunate, his feet were still caught on the stirrup but his head had bounced and cracked. Kara pulled him off and kicked up into the saddle, rushing to catch up.

It didn’t take long, the pursuit had slowed down as they made the stairs to the public square. They only had to cross that and the draw bridge to be safely inside. Kara dug her heels to hurry the sprint and by some miracle squeezed past Mon-El and his men.

She was close, just a few feet off from being able to get him. But she’d be dammed, there was still an obstacle in her way. 

Lockwood cut her off by the left, crashed into her and her leg was unprepared for the force of the impact as her leg got trapped between their horses. Kara groaned but kept herself in place, unwilling to facilitate their escape.

Then he drew his sword smoothly and Kara felt every single hair on her body rise. She was barehanded, nothing to defend herself with. The attack came fast, a lashing of silver in the dark.

Kara had all but an instant, so she raised her arms without thought. The edge stopped with a clank, mere inches from her nose, and the links of her chains strained to contain the blow. Bless the fucking shackles.

Lockwood plunged with the point regardless and the steel shrieked, she had to duck to avoid the trajectory.

He was outstretched, so Kara slid the chain downwards until it rested atop his wrist. When she pulled down there was an ugly popping sound as the bone got ruined. 

The pain made him drop the weapon and she slammed her elbow over his face, threw him off, and saw his figure thump and roll on the hard stone.

Kara set her view ahead, to her dread Lex was almost out of the square. She wasn’t sure she’d get to him before entering the castle, where his soldiers would be waiting. Driven, she quickened the pace. She’d stop him, even if it was the last thing she ever did. She had to.

Abruptly, Lex stopped his advance and shouted “Move!”

Kara was near enough to hear the reply “No!” 

The King didn’t seem to care, he commanded his horse to move. Kara’s mouth fell open, he was going to trample the girl.

“Lena!” She leaned forward as if that’d make her faster.

At the last moment Lena moved, Kara saw her tumble to the right. To her surprise, another person appeared on the left as if materialized out of thin air or more likely standing beside Lena. It only took her a short beat to recognize her sister.

Alex stabbed through the leg of the horse with a low grunt. The poor creature failed to keep itself up, instead collapsed miserably as it let out a cry.

Kara finally reached them and jumped down in a hurry, behind her Mon-El ordered his man to stay vigilant. Alex was bent over, as she came close it was clear that standing was costing her and there was a shin of cold sweat feathering her face.

Still, when she gazed at Kara her face light up.

“You look awful” Alex said, “I knew-“

She couldn’t finish the sentence because Kara crashed into her “I can’t believe you came here”

“Somebody had to save your ass” Her sister backed up “what the fuck?”

Alex stared at her shacked hands with indignation, then proceeded to break them with two strikes of her sword. After that, she slumped into Kara’s crushing hug.

“Alura and Eliza are safe, guards are dead” 

The information almost made her cry and she held the back of auburn hair “I thought- that you might’ ve- Rao, I was scared”

“I’m fine” Alex let go of her and cocked her head in a gesture for her to turn “someone has missed you”

Normally Kara wouldn’t have let go of her sister for a long while. They could’ve stayed like that, comforting each other after whatever had happened, although it had never been under such circumstances.

In a way, she felt like it was a betrayal because family came first. It had always come first. However, the desire to go to _her_ was undeniable and selfish and all-consuming. There was a kindness over Alex’s expression that told her she understood.

Lena had been waiting, anxiously twisting her fingers with her eyes tearful. The sight froze her for a second but when Alex pushed her in the right direction, she bolted.

Strangely, the girl felt smaller in her arms, like the stress of everything going on had shrunk her. Kara held her and cursed the world, for hurting her like this.

“oh god, oh my g-god” Lena sobbed warmly on her ear, nails clawing at her back.

It broke her and it fixed her, all at the same time.

“I’m here. I’m with you” she promised “it’s alright, I got you”

Kara’s arms locked over the girl’s middle, returning the same unashamed craving to feel her.

“I feared I wouldn't see you again” Lena confessed, fighting the closing of her throat.

“No, I came back. I’ll always come back to you, no matter what”

A dry laugh interfered with their reunion “How endearing” Lex Luthor clearly never knew when to shut up. Kara backed the slightest bit form Lena to watch him slowly rising to stand, a spewing gash on his forehead.

She took notice of her surroundings for the first time. The horse had stopped wailing, somebody had put it out of its misery. Ben Lockwood had been dragged back from where he’d fallen, now squirming against the hold of the Daximites.

“You fucking traitors!” he growled and a bunch of follow up insults. She didn’t hear them, sight focused on Lex.

“Lena…” he spoke low and rabid “you dare to want this filthy Kryptonian? Over your family. Over me!”

The girl tensed at the accusation didn’t say anything in return. But Kara did, facing him with coiled up fists.

“Shut up”

“Is this how you repay me? All of these years of taking care of you. Making sure you weren’t touched, appeasing mother to let you stay instead of throwing you out, going out of my way to ensure you weren’t passed around just like a whore. Like your mother”

“If you don’t shut up-“

“You’re alive because of me! You owe me everything you have! And yet you dare to defy me, to betray me. I should’ve let Lillian take you to the slums, if not a Luthor, you should live like the rat that- “

“Enough!”

It came from her gut and boomed out, like the sound of a whip cracking. It made him stop and she didn’t need to look around to know she’d had all eyes on her. The anger built inside her, spreading over her in flames that left her skin scorching.

Lex licked his lips, viper teeth uncovered “You think you’re above me, child? While you pair yourself with a low breed?”

“If you say one more word about her…” she couldn’t finish. There was no means to express the ways in which she would hurt him, Kara didn’t even know exactly what, just that it was getting harder to contain it.

“You two are certainly a match, the common product of a slut and you, Kara Zor-El, the soiling of your lineage”

She clenched her jaw hard and tasted copper where she’d just given herself a new open a wound. Somehow it tasted sweet and comforting, an iron coat, she wanted more.

“When I came for you, you ran like a coward and left your people–” He motioned around and made her realize her citizens had slithered out of their houses, forming a circle around them.

Lex put a hand on his chest, flashed a smile “–to me. And at my mercy, they lived, even when you abandoned them. but you couldn’t hide from me, so you had to wait for your big cousin to come save you. So go on, make me you prisoner but know that you stood pathetically and without action while i took your city-”

“You aren’t even a smidgen of the warrior your father was, or Astra”

Kara felt something inside her crack open to let out a thing foul and sour and dark. She stole the sword from Alex, the one she always mocked for being hardly the length of her forearm.

“Kara?” her sister called, but the blonde had already turned.

Everything about her was bristled and austere, as she walked up to Lex. 

“You’re going to kill a man unarmed?” Ben Lockwood intervened, again.

She made the detour, unable to stand the sound of his voice any longer. He didn’t budge when Kara stared at him, only mirrored her cold eyes as the Daximites restrained him. 

“Yes, Liberty” she answered and pushed the blade through his chest and then upwards, heading the tearing flesh and cracking bone. He coughed up blood violently, and dusted Kara’s cheek with ruby droplets.

Lex Luthor’s poise is gone, terrified of his fate as she slowly comes for him. Shaky hands and hard breaths.

“I have surrendered,” he says, faking authority “I have the right to a fair trial”

Kara stops before the King of Shadows, trying to hold on to his dignity. To his life.

 _A trial_ , she thinks, _he wants a fucking trial_. After what he’s done, what he has taken.

The ghost memory of Astra beside her, laughing as her little niece tries to count the stars and keeps starting over. Astra carrying her up the stairs after her first training when her legs were too sore.

Astra with a beaten face and a hollow chest.

“Guilty” She sentences and there’s not a cry of objection. Only silence. 

“no, you can’t-“

She swings at him and the knuckles on her already injured hand leave his mouth bloody. Lex stumbles for a second before recovering, he circles her as one does with a dangerous animal.

“Umbra will rebel, you can’t” he shakes his head “you won’t”

The second hit she delivers with her right hand, the hard steel behind it forces Lex to spit three teeth that clatter like marbles on the floor. It seems enough to make him switch the strategy, or abandon the pretense of having one.

He tackles her and tries to choke her, Kara still has a sword. She’s careful, plunges it into his side without making it fatal and Lex flops sideways with a scream. He’s crawling now, hand holding the wound.

Kara kicks him there, repeatedly. Hit after hit it goes on, she can’t determine how long, could’ve been minutes or decades.

All it does is make her rage deeper, it doesn’t feel like enough.

He only resists at first, his hands smearing her face and neck with tick red, bucking hips trying to get her off. It's no use. Her knuckles ache, they'll be black for days to come but she doesn't care. Eventually, it’s like she might as well be hitting a straw dummy. 

When he speaks Kara almost misses it but it makes her reel her fist. He rolls his head to look somewhere behind her and tries to raise a hand. She thinks he might be crying under all of the blood.

“Lena” all but a croaky plea “Lena…”

It maddens her further, that he’d have the guts to ask for clemency from the person he's tormented for so long. So she lifts from where she’d been straddling him and lifts the near limp body, hardly manages to get him into a kneeling position.

“Look at me” when he doesn’t Kara makes him, brusquely tipping his chin “Look at me!”

And he does, with swollen blue eyes. He’s clearly out of himself because he grins. Laughs at her, insane as a doomed man can be.

Kara cranes his neck even more and puts the blade atop the jerking muscle of his throat. Lex stares at her the whole time, mocking her even now. A shake overtakes her hands. 

Astra smiling in the flurry of a winter night, gentle melting away stern.

Astra somewhere in a ditch where they probably left her to rot.

She goes slow, overruling her tremors, pushing inches at a time, and watching the metal disappear into the flesh. The blood spurs out, black like a starless sky, pouring down to wet her boots. He gurgles, twitches, probably darkens his breeches. 

Finally, she comes to the other end, Lex is still staring at her with unseeing eyes when it's done. With the wider blade of her actual sword, Lex's head would have severed. But even when Alex's goes through his spine, it stays in place, held together by remaining skin and tendons. Flopping unnaturally. 

The blade slips out when he falls. She backs away from the dead man, boots scraping stone with her trembling steps. Kara looks up, at the crowd of people, a hundred statues observing her.

She locks her eyes on one. Lena with her expression made of disbelief and…fear?

Kara can’t stand it “Get them all inside the castle,” he says to Mon-El, who regards her with the same amount of shock.

Her legs take her to the first available horse. She leaves and if someone calls for her it’s lost to the deafening pounding of her heart.

…

Alex took in a mouthful of cold air once it ended. Slowly she recounted for the facts of the last hour: she’d found Kara, they’d stopped Lex Luthor, and then Kara had killed him and ran off.

Beside her Lena gazed absently in the direction her sister had taken, the girl’s expression was downright staggered. Around them the people were already moving, having heard the message delivered by Mon-El.

“Princess Zor-El has decreed that you all take refuge on the castle tonight”

The grateful murmurs flew from mouth to mouth, as the frightened citizens gathered their families.

Alex wrapped Lena’s slack wrist and it seemed to bring her back, as she spun to convey her worries.

“Kara”

“We can’t go with her. Come on”

She met far less opposition than expected, as they trailed behind the crowd, Lena walked passively and only gave signs of responsiveness when one of the Daximites passed them. Lex’s body had been tied from the feet, dragged along by a grey steed.

Alex grabbed her hand and brought her closer, the girl fixed her sight to the floor and didn’t lift them until they reached the castle doors.

She left Lena with Alura and ignored her mother’s imploration to lay down.

Once she was alone she dropped all pretenses and slowed down, leaning against the walls to continue her advance. It took her a long time to reach her destination, pace weakened by her reopened wound, and the fear of what she’d find.

The hallway was a horror, a carnage.

Making her way around was difficult with the clutter of corpses. She tripped and fell over repeatedly, hands sinking down in puddles as she fought to stand. Most of her people were on the farther end, and Alex shivered as she encountered them. Almost turned around.

The bodies got more spread out and Alex doubled over when she came across Vazquez. Her stomach started to turn and for a second she thought she might faint right there.

The little strength she had left disappeared once she found what she was looking for.

Sam had managed to drag herself away from the remains of the combat. Her figure rested against the wall as if she’d sat for a while, but she was slumped to the right, on her lap she still held Alex’s bow.

“Sam?”

Alex had known as she walked away from Sam’s sad smile that their goodbye was permanent.

Her knees buckled.

She had chosen Kara and Sam had let her, welcomed death with only the solace of a single hurried kissed.

It filled her with guilt and hurt.

So she screamed, sobbed, and raged a little. Lost some skin as she punched the blood-streaked marble. Until she was reduced to a quiet whimpering and she finally went to her. Alex cradled her, pecked her closed eyelids, and sniffled against her brown hair.

Sam was gone and her face didn’t reflect anything at all, but Alex still punished herself by imagining her grin, the one that was part coy and part shameless flirtation.

…

Lena’s wait ran long and nerve-wracking, no matter how many assurances she was given. Alura had made her sit down after the first hour had gone by, making efforts to soothe her with motherly gestures.

She suspected the Queen’s affections were meant for someone else who had yet to return, Lena was merely a distraction. It all stopped abruptly once Mon-El narrated the standoff with Lex in full detail, then Alura had been bounded to a stern silence.

Eliza had come to offer Lena some tea but spared her of much attention, busy with the arrival of injured Kryptonians being carried from the battlefield.

From the update relied on them, the fight was won, only a few small hostile groups were still battling but the rest had surrendered. Still, they had to wait another three hours to get that information corroborated.

Kal-El had walked in coated in mud and blood, the woman accompanying him looking comically pristine in comparison. Alura had patted his cheeks and whispered some Kryptonian Lena couldn’t decipher, and later given the woman clad in white a short hug.

“Thank you, Cat”

The woman waved it off and Alura returned to her nephew “Was Kara with you?”

“For a moment, yes. I tried to make her come with me but she’s still out there”

“Stubborn child”

“She should be here shortly, few people left to fight” His eyes searched, fleetingly going over Lena “where’s Alex?”

Alura shook her head “She took off as soon as we got here, must be somewhere in the castle”

“And Astra?” he chuckled a little “she never leaves your side, don’t tell me you’ve been arguing”

The mood turned somber in a second and Lena watched as the Queen told them with quivering words about her twin’s demise. It was a private familial moment that she shouldn’t be a part of, so she left.

Perhaps she could search for Alex, who knows in what state she was now. Lena knew where she was and it wasn’t her right to disturb her mourning. Not when that loss was a result of her family’s actions.

She roamed a bit instead, head swirling with the images of what had happened.

Nobody told her where they had taken Lex’s body and she didn’t demand to know.

He was dead, Lena had seen it and heard it. The almost unintelligible murmur that had been her name, as he asked for help. The awful gurgle as the blood rose up to his mouth. It all continued to echo in her ears.

For years she had carried both love and hate for him, the first slowly giving away to the second. Now, their time together had ended and she didn’t know how to feel about it. Mostly relieved, she supposed. 

Lena hadn’t helped him or defended him. Lex didn’t deserve that and she had felt little obligation to do so, but inside of her something still ached.

Furthermore, her fears hadn’t died with her brother. Lillian was still alive, as soon as she knows her dear son has been murdered she’ll be plotting revenge. Another war created by a Luthor, maybe in five or ten years, but steadily on creation.

Lena would not let it happen. Not here, after all the El family had already lost. They deserve peace and Kara deserves happiness.

She had to uproot Lillian from Umbra, burn the palace to ashes if needed, without a doubt.

The grave thoughts continued filling her mind and as time went on it was blatantly obvious that despite the demon that had been slain, the nightmare was not over.

Hands laying on her hands, Lena sat on a set of stairs with a loud exhale.

It must’ve been a while before somebody found her there and brought her back from that stasis.

“She’s back”

“Where?”

She ran up the stairs of the Keep with a burst of energy and barely managed to avoid crashing into a very disheartened Alura. The Queen patted her in the shoulder as she passed her down the stairs.

Lena climbed the last steps feeling hesitant. 

During her stay, she’d never been to the floor above the Queen’s quarters and she was certainly taken back. The ceiling was a vault of iridescent crystal that was starting to color with the early light of sunrise. Her nose filled with the smell of sweet flowers that adorned the space. 

Kara stood there looking at the horizon, untidy, amidst this hidden piece of heaven.

Lena approached her with care, unwilling to alarm her, and settled beside her. She went unregarded for a long moment before Kara decided to utter a word.

“Nara-El had it built for her beloved over a thousand moons ago” Kara spaced the words, like the speech fatigued her “ _A place for my Mai-Ra to wonder at the beauty of the sun, as in turn, I wonder at the beauty of her soul,_ she wrote”

“It’s beautiful”

Kara lifted her chin, eyes hooded as the sun rays grew brighter.

In so many other occasions before this one, Lena had marveled at the fleckless around her nose and the soft glint of delight in her eyes. But now those features were tarnished by the dried blood, the blue orbs dulled into foggy dark water.

She reached with her right hand but Kara flinched away.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her lashes had gone wet in a second “I’m dirty”

Lena let her hand hang in the air, as the blonde tried to blink her tears away.

She could’ve said she didn’t mind, that it was alright and press to touch her. But the girl had scurried with intent discomfort. So she clasps her hands together below her belly.

She made her words tender “you should wash off and let Eliza see you”

“I will”

Her windpipe closed painfully. They had been fine just hours ago, Kara had held her with profound love and then Lex had used his last minutes to ruin it. God, they had been fine.

Now Kara didn’t even want Lena to touch her.

“Forgive me, you must be tired. I’ll let you be”

“No, wait- sorry, I’m just…I don’t know,” Kara said, truly uncertain.

She was still coming to terms with what Lena had already been suspecting through the night. They were beyond mending, shattered pottery with no hope of being put back together.

“It’s alright”

It wasn’t, nothing about it was alright. Her body hurt like she’d was being held under frozen water, the ice purpling her limbs and getting into frail bones.

“I’m sorry” Kara parroted.

Lena didn’t have the bravery to look at her in the face. She shook her head, a poor attempt to pretend it didn’t matter. That she wasn’t crumbling.

“No, I didn’t-“ _I didn’t expect you to want me after this._ But that’d be a lie because she had hoped with every bit of herself that Kara would.

“I’m going to go” she said instead.

Without adding ‘downstairs’ or ‘for now’ or ‘until you want to talk’. They both understood the implicit significance of it. Every bit of sweet comfort was eviscerated, and Lena couldn’t help but blame it on her pile of faults.

Why would she of all people be granted such insuperable happiness, unless it was momentary? Even more, how could she have allowed herself to chase it at the expense of Kara’s later disillusion?

It had been foolish and selfish of her, and there was no place in the blonde's life for either of those.

Kara Zor-El was meant for greater things and Lena loved her. So much so that despite her departure, her beating heart will stay here, in Kara’s hands.

She wants to reach out for something, yet she fears Kara will just flinch again.

Thus, all Lena does is look at her and smile brokenly.

“Thank you”

She will go on and try to somehow amend for the evils of her family and the endeavor will be steep and torturous, but it is what she owes to the world. She’ll always have the memories of them, of the precious gift of all things Kara, and that shall be enough to keep her going. 

Her tears spill as soon as she turns, and for a second she thinks Kara had just raised a hand. But perhaps that’s just her imagination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know if it's the influence of the cursed year but i hate this a lot. Just one chapter left tho


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...remember when I said there was only one chapter left? i gave my brain a precise limit for this story beat but it obviously didn't work

Orflaith was good at his job. In his thirty years of service, not a single coin had gone missing. That said sometimes he’d get over his head about things and made himself deaf to any sign of disagreement.

“We are not raising the taxes”

“But the fleet-“

Kara quieted him with a look. Stubborn as he was, it took only the threat of displeasure from her to remind him of his place.

“The fleet will be replenished to its original greatness, but I will not inflict that responsibility on my citizens. They already pay what they ought to”

He smiled tightly, clearly unwilling to back down “yes, but if I may-“

“You may not,” Kara said, unwavering “this matter is out of discussion. The crown will deal with naval reparations on its own” 

The room went still at the impassivity of her declination. All of them were adjusting to her newfound sternness, including herself.

Suddenly she wanted to be anywhere but in this room.

“Is there something else I have yet to address?” a collective shaking of heads and murmured no’s were the answer. Kara stood “In that case, thank you all”

The council members exited with short courtesies. J’onn showed her the slight hint of a supportive smile and Kara nodded at him with gratitude before taking her own path. 

James slowed his step to walk beside her “You’re scary”

“You’re exaggerating” she retorted “I merely spoke my mind”

“Yes, and it made him shit his pants. For a second I thought you’d tell him to go build the ships himself”

Kara looked up at his towering figure, her brows rose “maybe I should have you built them, given you sank them”

He lifted a finger “The Saturnians sank them. Also, it wasn't that many ” 

“Right”

“Maybe Mon-El and Imra could be convinced of offering a bit more help” James suggested.

Her pace staggered momentarily “They have already paid their penalty”

Kara had only met Imra once, as she answered for her people’s participation in the crimes against Krypton. Apparently her father had died at the despair of their defeat and left his only daughter with a broken Kingdom.

The money had been a respectable sum, especially if paired with that received from Daxam. But the expenses to cover were even larger, between structural damage and remunerations to the families of dead soldiers.

Not to mention winter had caught them that year with limited rations after Lex’s army had raided the land.

“I meant as friends,” James said.

Kara wasn’t sure she could be friends with the people that had conspired against her family.

Not in just a few years at least.

“I’ll think about it,” she said, if only to make him stop talking.

“Alright, I’m sure you have important business to attend” his bow was barely a bend, with his voice teasing “May your day be filled with only joyous encounters, my Queen”

Kara rolled her eyes at the jab, they were alone anyway. She smacked his shoulder without malice and let him trail off.

As she marched to the privacy of her room she took off the crown, letting it dangle from her index finger.

The garment had been made as plain and unpretentious as her parent's matching halos, just a band of gold with a row of fitted small sapphires, the size of orange seeds.

She could’ve honestly settled for a ring of wood atop her head. However, that wouldn’t fit with her status and responsibilities according to tradition. So gold it is.

At the stairs she almost tripped, unmindful of her gown. She’d been wearing more of those lately, now that her adventuring had dwindled and morphed into meetings and public hearings, most of her time spent in the council room or the throne hall.

She’d known, of course, that this would be her life eventually although twenty-five had always seemed like a far off future. Amid the chaos, her coronation had come a year late.

In her childhood, it had been an exciting though. To walk tall with the El crest on her chest, with her parents smiling at her proudly and Astra looking at her with quiet affection.

Alura had still been proud and happy, but Kara couldn’t scrub the absences in their lives. It had been lonely in a way she never expected it to be.

She heard boots and lifted her head to see the person approaching.

Lucy stopped on her tacks, a foot suspended above the descending stairway “Damn”

“What?”

“I almost didn’t recognize you”

Kara groaned “Shut up” it was really ludicrous that the jokes kept coming even after a year of wearing the crown. 

Lucy trotted down, lips splitting to grin “it’s true, you look pretty. I was about to say something positively inappropriate”

“Was I not pretty before?” she said, resisting her blush.

“Oh, you’ve always been pretty”

Kara clicked her tongue disapprovingly “your boy is not going to like this, Luce”

“James would agree with me” the woman leaned in a bit, the scarring she earned on Tal-ash stark on her neck, trailing up to the severed ear covered by her hair. Horrific yet oddly attractive, not that Kara had given it much thought or anything.

“Sure”

“You don’t believe me? If I recall correctly we have both kissed you”

Her cheeks got hot “That was years ago!”

Lucy barked out a laugh and Kara couldn't help but join, finding it funny despite her mortification. 

“you do know we can keep you company if you want to”

Kara’s jaw dropped “Lucy!”

The woman lifted her hands “I’m joking” but then she narrowed her eyes “or am I?” 

“Lucy!”

“Just putting it out there, no pressure” the short woman said, running down the stairs with a wink.

She climbed the remaining steps murmuring in disbelief. Before she opens her door, her view travels down the hallway to see another room open.

Sighing Kara walked towards it and pushed the ajar door with her foot. Alex is sitting on the bed with a deep frown, like every other time Kara has found her here or, to her heart's distress, standing in that hallway on the first floor.

“Hi”

Alex lifted her head “Hi”

Her sister has been doing a lot better this year but, occasionally, she’ll steer dangerously in the wrong direction.

Kara hadn’t noticed the change at first, too focused on her own grief. Until her brain caught up on the fact she hadn’t seen Sam in over a week after the fight. 

Alex had refused to talk about it and acted as if nothing had happened. But as the months went on things had gotten increasingly worse and she saw her sister turn into a ghost. A drunk one, most of the time.

She’d been mean and aggressive, to the point where holding a conversation with her was nearly impossible. Kara hadn’t blame her because she understands grief and anger, hers might be quieter but it never left.

It was only after one night when Alex stumbled into her room and sobbed her heart out, that she even spoke of Sam out loud. Kara heard it all, offered her arms as a warm blanket, and shushed her to sleep.

Alex started to improve but this last year Kara had, after such cursed a wait, seen her genuinely happy. It had little to do with her and a lot with her sister falling in love with Kelly Olsen. Understandably so, that woman could brighten up a graveyard if needed.

“I was waiting for you but-“Alex shrugged “I ended up here”

Kara nodded, she could relate to that. Some nights she still sneaked in and spent hours with her fingers burrowed in old robes, the scent she was searching faded long ago.

“I’m free now” she offered.

They closed the door of Astra’s room behind them.

“So, you wanted to talk about…?” Kara asks once they’re sited.

Alex shook a pile of papers in her right hand, that she had completely missed, puts them on the desk.

“Letters?” Kara said with confusion. She’s never had Alex deliver her letters unless is something to do with their military “why are _you_ bringing me letters?”

“I just offered. The errand boy couldn’t find you” 

It sounds like an excuse abut she grabs the first one, only to find it already open. Alex doesn’t even seem affronted by the glare she gives her.

“Really?”

“I was bored”

Kara put the paper down “why don’t you tell me what they say then, at least your snooping will save me time. This one”

Alex looked at the envelope “That one’s from your mom, she says Jonathan is fat. Well not fat, but she said ‘big boy’. Says Clark wants you to visit and that she’ll be back next month”

She saves that one for reading later and lifts the next. Quirking a brow to convey her questioning. 

“Nia Nal is incredibly grateful for your help after their failed harvests, says if there’s any way to repay you to let her know”

“This?"

“Mon-El has proudly announced Imra is carrying a child likely to be born on autumn”

Kara raised both her brows at that “well, good for them. Last one?”

“Maybe you should actually read that one,” Alex said, her posture stiffening.

She flipped the envelope to find a broken seal, one of theirs. The first lines tell her is from one of their informants inside Umbra and that by itself makes her jaw tighten. 

Kara reads it through and then restarts. Her fingers crinkling the paper as they tense, just like the rest of her body. When she gets to the bottom, she's quite winded.

“I-“she might as well have sand in her mouth with how croaky it is “she’s getting married?”

Alex put a hand out in a calming gesture “Betrothed, but wait-” her face going kind and careful, Kara can already feel her tears coming “it’s a contractual thing. If this was…something else, we would’ve heard of it in advance. This sounds very rushed so I don’t think- Kara, _don’t_ ” 

But she’s already put the letter back with the others, stacking them neatly “I’ll make sure to have replied by tomorrow”

“Kara, please don’t do this to yourself”

“I’m not doing anything” she lied “thank you for delivering these. I did hear Kelly saying you’d be going to the market with her, better hurry before all the good stuff is gone”

Alex stares at her with concern and it makes her want to scratch her skin raw. She doesn’t like the pity that’s fueling her sister’s attempts to give her hope, no matter how benevolent her intentions are.

“and I’m a little tired. Probably going to be in bed early” she adds.

The redhead looks at her lap for a moment, then stands up with a long exhale that screams disappointment to her.

“It doesn’t have to be over”

“Alex!”

She shouts in a burst and immediately after rubs her hands over her face because _fuck this_.

It’d been months before Alex talked to her about her issues. Kara had let her throw things at her, let her be cruel and stupid. In return, all she wants is space and silence. Is that too high a demand?

Alex’s lips thin severely and Kara thinks they’re about to get into a heavy fight, but her sister just nods and goes for the door.

She waited a few minutes for the quiet to settle into every corner of the room. Except there are some sounds that can’t be erased.

Like a raspy laugh followed by a whisper of loving words, the drag of dark hair over the sheets, and the tiny slick sound noise that prefaces a sleepy smile.

It’s Lena and all the tidbits she left behind. The crumbs of that blissful short time where they had been free, and it hurts. Because when she wakes up Kara can almost swear she’s there, laid beside her with nothing but glee on her face.

Now Lena has promised herself to some stranger that will have the absolute luxury of waking up beside her, somebody that probably doesn’t even truly know her.

The ringing in the back of her head it's a reminder that she doesn’t either.

Kara lost her in one night, lost every right to have her. The three years in between then and today haven’t weakened the way she feels about Lena, not in the slightest. 

But she also can’t forget the way she’d been looked at that night. The way Lena hadn’t been able to say a word after seeing what she’d done, when she stood above the proof of her crime. 

In her nightmares, it happens all over again and Kara can feel it still once she wakes. Feels filthy and heinous, her hands still sticky and red. With Lena’s face showing the expression that can only be repulsion.

...

Lena doesn’t care much for Oliver Queen, but at least she does not hate him. To be fair, he’s handsome enough despite the overwhelming broodiness of his character. They’ll be a somber couple that’s for sure.

Oliver doesn’t care much for her either. He’s respectful and doesn’t treat her like an inferior, which makes him by far the best suitor she’s had since claiming the throne.

But he doesn’t bother to pretend there’s love behind it and Lena is very much grateful for it. There’s no hiding his love for the girl he’s brought along with the rest of his company.

Felicity might be a simple scribe to anyone else but it’s clear that to him the stars are dull beside the sigh of her.

Lena pays no mind to it, even as it reminds her of something else that hurts. It's fine by her, someone might as well please her future husband because she has no desire to. Surely making an heir will be as impersonal as every other interaction between them.

The idea makes her feel a little sick regardless. She can’t help but to picture herself in other arms, stared at by sky blue eyes. It successfully makes nausea recede, but it leaves her sad. Longing.

Her moment of wallowing gets cut short by a knock.

“Adrik?”

“Yes, Your Grace. We’re ready”

After fastening the modest grey cloak to her shoulders Lena opened the door. Adrik was waiting casually leaning against the door’s outer frame, she frowned at him.

“I still hate it”

He remained chipper “Well, Jordan likes it”

“He’s too busy looking at other parts of you to realize how ridiculous that mustache is”

“Half of that sentence I like”

Lena huffed out a laugh and locked the room, Adrik followed her dutifully.

When she stomped on his nose three years ago, she’d never imagined he’d end up being the first member of her guard.

He’d been spared on the premise of his nobility and the fact that he hadn’t killed anyone. Surprisingly he had chosen to follow her instead of going home to Saturn, arguing he owed her for inadvertently saving his life.

In the years to follow he had saved her more times than she could remember. His little infatuation with her had luckily only lasted a little while, then he’d met and married Jordan.

“Is he still coming?” the question was full of dismay.

Lena tried to stay serious but ended up smiling “Oliver is not that bad”

“But he’s boring and quiet. All the time he’s just:” He crossed his arms and frowned exuberantly.

She laughed and didn’t refute, it was pretty accurate.

The sky was a bit grey still when they made it outside, the chilliness of the air made her shiver a little and sneeze. The squire in charge of keeping the horses steady did a double-take, like it was inconceivable that she’d do that. Lena supposed it wasn’t very regal of her.

Oliver was waiting for them, his posture statuesque as he greeted her. It was awkward but she smiled politely.

“If you want to remain in the palace, you can” 

He shook his head “I want to come, as long as that pleases you”

“Your company is always welcomed” she spoke the well-rehearsed words flatly.

Thankfully the man didn’t seem to care, the unspoken resignation shared by both.

Avoiding further delay, Lena pulled the hood over her head and gave the order to start the advance. Adrik remained beside her, whilst Oliver trailed behind with that sulking manner that characterized him.

The streets where still quiet enough that she can hear the singing birds. Within an hour that tranquility would give way to the common loudness of a city, the merchants will open their shops and the people will resume their busy lives.

When she’d first marched through the city it hadn’t been this calm. Her arrival had been followed the entire time by the folk, watching with their collective untrusting gaze.

Alura had given her as many able men as she could offer. Lena had told them to turn back just a few miles out of the city. They had just fought an unwarranted battle, all of them -tired and already homesick- had left with little trepidation.

Adrik had caught up to her a few days later, with a group of Saturnians and Umbranians. Most of them were younglings under eighteen that had been dragged there by their rulers. Krypton had let them go, a grace she was sure Lex wouldn’t have had.

So she walked into the Shadowlands with farmer boys and sailor’s daughters that had learned how to fight by mere necessity. Lena wasn’t sure if they liked her or if they needed a purpose, but they kept her safe.

In the way there she came across people who wanted to kill her, people who wanted to spit on the ground she stood on, and people who didn’t bother to look her way. Yet, to her amazement, she got a following of people who thought she was worth something.

Lena had expected Lillian to fight them viciously but her mother had seemingly lost her confidence, disappeared in a similar fashion to a cloud of vapor. Although Lena was sure somewhere in the shadows she was planning her daughter’s murder. 

Thus she’d gotten the throne, despite the reluctance of most of Umbra’s aristocracy. With a few good allies and chess game of politics, she’d managed.

“Looks like nobody told Eoin you were going to be around” Adrik said, as they passed the large white doors of the church.

Lena received the statement with a half chuckle “Maybe the Lord told him I’ve met my penance already”

Just with his general demeanor, it is obvious that the priest doesn’t like her. To further make known that opinion he has taken to do an early sermon every time she goes down that street about how insidious adultery is, how the children born of it are creatures of sin.

Lena finds it more amusing than offensive. She also suspects beyond the clerical position, there’s a hidden resentment she awoke by decreasing the church's hold over land and other privileges.

She has no regrets about it, especially as she comes around the corner to find her destination. The old orphanage had been little more than moldy walls and rotting wood loosely held together by the whimpers of starved children.

After getting the church to _kindly_ offer up one of their many unused buildings, having it furnished and staffed, Lena had personally walked the orphans inside. She’d never witness expressions of such undivided happiness from simple commodities like blankets and beds.

The palace provided them directly but Lena still liked to go down there to make sure things were good. Every time she brought something to give: toys, clothes, and other things. Today however she had decided to have the cooks make a wide variety of baked sweets.

“Go, we’ll get everything inside” Adrik said.

It was still early so most of the children were still asleep, although not for long since breakfast was being prepared by the matrons to get the day started.

“You have been very gracious to them” Oliver startled her slightly as he came up behind her.

She’d forgotten of his presence “They shouldn’t have ever been neglected, the shame of it rests on the crown. I’m not being gracious, I'm being fair" 

“I think you’re both”

Lena let the statement float for a moment “Just trying to restore what my family took”

“A very noble cause, Your Grace”

“Lena” she raised a brow “If I’m to be your wife you can call me by my name, Oliver”

He nodded courteously but she saw him unsettling at the reminder of their compromise.

“Why don’t you marry her? Felicity, I mean”

She’d had enough of tiptoeing around the subject.

His upper lipped twitched “I can’t”

“Surely people wouldn’t be so scandalized if you married a scribe, not more than wedding a bastard Queen”

“It was my father’s wish that I married well, for the sake of our family,” Oliver said “as it is my mother’s”

His voice had gotten darker and Lena decided to back away from the upsetting conversation, switching the attention to herself.

“It is strange being here for me, or it was at first. I hadn’t spent much time around children” that admission softened Oliver greatly, making her curious “I take it you have”

“My sister Thea”

The fondness put on the name reminded her of the way Kara always smiled when speaking of Alex. So many things around her brought back her time in Krypton, where she’d left her heart.

“Younger?” she wondered

“Yes,” One of Oliver’s rare smiles appeared “she was a handful….well, still is” 

Before she could put out a response the sounds of a loud upheaval started to slip downstairs and Lena braced for the upcoming rousing whilst her betrothed looked around confused.

She’d grown used to it by now but sometimes her toes still flexed with the instinct to run, because watching a mob speed your way it’s scary, even if that mob is composed of little children with rosy cheeks.

“Oh my god” Oliver whispers, looking like he wants to flee.

Too late.

There are already dozens of grabby hands poking him and holding onto his legs as the children unload their curiosity on the stranger.

Lena is only slightly luckier since the novelty of her has mostly passed, still, she spends the next few minutes delivering hugs and kisses to the demanding crowd. It’s an incredibly tactical task to divide her attention equally to avoid fighting.

Eventually, with the help of the matrons, the children all settle for breakfast. Happy squeals fill the dining hall once they discover the treats awaiting them. Lena sits down with Oliver by her side and watches with satisfaction.

“This is...a lot more than I expected,” Oliver said with a flabbergasted expression.

Lena gave him a nod “I think I’ll have to expand the building soon or it will start to get crammed”

Something tugged at the bottom of her dress, Lena looked down to find a cute little boy that she hadn’t seen before.

“That’s Jack, he got here last week” an older girl informed her in between bites.

“Hi, Jack” she said sweetly.

The boy extended his hand and offered her a little lemon tart, with a small nibble on the side that she doesn’t mention. Lena accepts the food and Jack smiles before wiggling into her lap like it’s something he’s done a hundred times.

Her surprise is muted once the boy starts to play with the ends of her embroidered sleeve, it’s so adorable she can’t suppress her cooing. Some minutes later Jack gets taken away to finish his finished breakfast, but he waves at her with his tiny fingers before going.

Once their bellies are all full, they are allowed to play on the large inner garden. Lena dodges the stampede of excited children and waits a bit to follow, spotting a familiar ginger by the door.

Lilly took her hand as soon as it’s within reach, dragging her into the garden “I thought you weren’t coming”

“I always come”

The girl steps are stumpy “but you’re late, three days”

Lena smiles “I can’t always come the same day, Lilly”

She doesn’t get a response but the girl doesn’t seem legitimately angry, just makes her sit on their usual bench.

“Who is he?” Lilly points to Oliver, who is now being subjected to a servitude of infinite piggybacks. 

“That’s Oliver Queen”

“He’s a Queen?”

“No, it’s his last name” Lena explains with a chuckle.

Lilly purses her lips thoughtfully before addressing her again “Are you going to make babies with him?”

The question makes her lift both brows, but she doesn’t lie “Probably someday”

A flecked nose scrunches “Ew. Julie said you have to spit in someone’s mouth to make babies”

Lena thinks about it “I suppose that’s more or less a part of it”

Though she doubts very much that they will be kissing at all, regardless of the circumstances.

Lilly glares at her with her head tilted in curiosity “My mommy told me that babies have to be made special, with love and lots of kisses" inquisitive eyes stare with expectation "Is that how you’ll make them?”

Her chest gets ten tons heavier because the matter is so complicated she herself doesn't have a straight answer.

Will she love them and care for them with her entire soul? Absolutely.

She also can’t stop thinking about how different it would be if she had a marriage that’s not based on convenience and politics. The way none of it would feel forced or like a fraud.

It’s not what she wants, not how she wants it, and her head never ceases to send her memories of what she truly wishes. It’s Kara, all the time, in the back of her eyelids like a haunting portrait. 

Kara who hadn’t even want to say goodbye or to look at her.

In her darkest nights, Lena would stand in front of the mirror, and she would understand.

Kara couldn’t look at her because all she’d see is hurt and grief. She’ll see darkness and the man that took so much from her.

But she can’t say that to Lilly.

“Yes, that’s how I’ll make them”

…

“I heard Moira Queen is setting up a tournament in honor of her son’s engagement”

The pumpkin soup, that had been sweet just a moment ago, turned sour in Kara’s mouth.

They’d been having a nice supper until then.

Her appetite had flaked significantly in the aftermath of the battle against Lex. She had lost a few pounds between her reluctance to eat and the excessive hours of training that had been meant to keep her busy, mind blank beyond the strain of her muscles.

Alura had almost bitten her nails to the root with worry and exasperation. It had been a long month before she could start to regain her appreciation for food, and despite that, she never quite returned to the stomach capacity of her younger self.

It was made clear to her that she wouldn’t have another bite of anything for the remainder of the night. So she put her spoon down, reached for her cup of wine, letting the dryness of it mark the end of her meal.

Kara saw Kelly’s hand sneak under the table, likely to lay on Alex’s thigh. The attempt was futile, her sister was stubborn, and not even the unique calmness of Kelly’s presence would make her back down. At least not regarding this matter.

“Perhaps it would be advisable that Krypton presented some _attending representative_ for the event, given the likelihood of other prestigious guests from neighbor Kingdoms”

She considered ignoring the allusion and simply walk out of the room. After all, she was Queen, her desires were law. But Alex didn’t care about her power, which was obvious. 

Frankly, her sister could put a knife to her throat and walk off with little consequence.

“If you want to go as a delegate, you can” Kara finally spoke up “although diplomacy isn’t precisely your forte” 

Alex jaw jutted out at the masked insult inside the evasive answer “Our relations with Umbra have yet to be reinforced. Your attendance will be crucial”

“I doubt my arrival would serve for anything else than to awoke resentment. Truly I don’t think any El should ever step inside that land again but if you want to, go.”

It was an unfair jab, she knew it. For years Alex had bared the family crest, she’d been as much an El as she was a Danvers. Kara felt a shiver of guilt washing over her.

The silence only made more poignant the subsequent outburst.

“What the fuck are you doing, Kara?” the blonde opened her mouth “no, shut up. I don’t know what is going on inside that thick skull of yours but you’re being so dumb right now”

“Are _you_ calling _me_ dumb? That is funny, how many cups have you had already” it was overly aggressive, she swung the last of her wine mockingly. It was wrong, so dam wrong.

Alex took the blow and her body pushed back as if Kara had somehow punched her. Her brown eyes glowed amber with anger. Beside her, Kelly looked with the disbelief of someone stood in the way of a twenty-foot wave about to crash.

“Yes, me. Your fucked up sister is calling _you_ dumb, I don’t have to be pissing drunk to tell you that. I’m trying to spare you suffering, stupid” Alex pushed the chair back to stand “and I’m sorry you had to take care of me while I got rid of my shit, that it was such an inconvenience to you, but you know what Kara? At least I dealt with it and got better”

A finger pointed her way, accusingly.

“What have you done? Hide from your bad decisions and act all tormented instead of fixing it”

“Fixing what, Alex? Do you think I want things to be like this? I can’t undo anything of what happened”

The redhead flapped her arms, irritated “There’s no undoing anything. You just have to move on”

“That’s what I’m doing”

“No, you’re pretending that you can go your whole life without having to face her and be alright” Alex glared into her soul “you’re making yourself miserable when you could be happy. When you could be with Lena”

“She doesn’t want me”

“Did she told you that?”

“She didn’t have to”

“So you don’t know if-“

“I don’t deserve her, Alex!”

The scream echoed and Kara winced at the loudness she’d caused. A pressure built in her chest and she knew she’d be crying soon.

After that night at the square, her head had been pushed underwater. Kara’s lungs filled with it, swelled to the point of bursting, and now it finally feels like they’re going to pop.

“Kara…” Alex’s face screams pity and she can’t take it.

“Pardon me”

She strides out of the room quickly, decided to get a head start from Alex, who will inevitably follow her.

Instead of going to her room, she roams a little through the castle, trying to escape her thoughts. Ultimately Kara goes outside and basks in the cold air, trailing along the tiled path of the garden.

She stops, in the cool evening, to stare at the spot where she’d sat with Lena. Among the daises under the fading sunlight talking idly, just before things started to go wrong.

Rao, it had been years ago and Kara still could see her right there, with the widest of smiles.

_“You want to marry me already, Princess?”_

Kara huffed at the irony. Lena was a thousand miles away about to get married to someone else.

She hoped that Lena could be happy, more than anything. But the idea scorched her regardless.

It shouldn’t, Lena wasn’t hers and Kara wasn’t Lena’s. That promise had died, she had killed it.

“Kara?”

She turned to find Kelly hovering with unsteadiness, as she gauged the blonde’s reaction.

“Where did you leave her?” she spoke neutrally.

“Cooling off” the sympathetic grimace made Kara drop her guard a little “I wanted to intervene but it wasn’t my place”

“I’m sorry you saw that”

Kelly moved forward and smiled. She was a strange being, Kara though, somehow always expelling a soothing warmth.

“It’s alright,” she said kindly.

Kara hummed, usually, they would have a pleasant conversation but right now she didn’t felt like talking. The woman seemed to sense it and aimed for something more blatant, her voice was quiet yet firm.

“You deserve to be happy, Kara”

She shook her head as soon as the words were out, eyes cast down.

Kelly insisted “You do. Why would you think otherwise?”

The question swirled in her head. It’s not like she didn’t know why, but it was still difficult to articulate into something that wasn’t the tangled mess of guilt inside her chest. Kelly was looking at her encouragingly though and holly Rao was she compelling.

“Do you know what they called me? After…what happened”

Kelly had been here for over a year, it was impossible she wouldn’t have. Even in other places, the rumor had spread. The woman gave the smallest of nods, reluctant to actually say it. Kara did it for her.

“Krypton’s Red Daughter” her hands turned to fist at her sides “You know why?”

“Not from your account” she said, unassuming.

Her account was vastly different from the pride most people in Argo held for it, the same way they had chanted for Zor-El back in the day. Kara had as well, held his acts with reverence. Her father had killed an evil man and that had to make him honorable.

Now she wasn’t so sure.

“Because I was covered with his blood. Face, hands, clothes” it had been so warm over her skin “it was dark but they could see it, and when the sun came up…”

She had been crimson.

Alura had gasped at the sight of her. Kal-El had been hesitant to touch her. Lena was simply gone.

When the brunette finally arrived at the Queen’s tower, a weird tension had taken over. Lena had stretched out for her, still looking at her lovingly, as if nothing had happened. But there was something in her eyes that told a different story.

“You feel guilty about Lex?”

“No” that at least was clear “not about killing him, just- the way it happened” 

She’d acted high on rage and hate, playing it as justice. Worst of all, Lena was there to watch it.

“Is that why you don’t want to see her? You think because of what you did, you’re not worthy?”

Kara liked that Kelly’s questions never felt forceful.

She nodded “Lena spent her whole life tormented by cruel people” the rest she left unsaid but Kelly was perceptive beyond measure.

“You’re the farthest thing from cruel, Kara” a palm rose to squeeze her shoulder “you make mistakes but that applies to all of us. I can’t say that what you did was either right or wrong, I won’t try to,

“But I will say that you’re kind and brave and you try your hardest to do good. If I think that, I can’t even begin to imagine what Lena thinks of you. So perhaps, you shouldn’t assume that she doesn’t find you worthy. Perhaps you should let her tell you”

 _Oh_. That made sense. She blinked a couple of times as her brain digested the notion.

“Think it over, I’m always around if you need me”

Kara was confused at the abrupt words of departure. Then she noticed the person standing a few feet away.

“Thank you” she told Kelly.

The woman smiled before trailing off, only pausing a second to plant a kiss on her lover’s cheek.

Alex opened her mouth first but Kara interposed quickly.

“No, wait, just let me talk first” she tried to keep her voice steady “I’m so sorry about what I said”

Another attempt to speak was made, Kara lifted a hand to prevent it.

“It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t true. You have never been a burden or an inconvenience to me” She saw her sister throw her left shoulder back in a familiar gesture of insecurity.

“I love you, and I’m so thankful for you, Alex. Because I don’t think- Rao, I don’t think I could’ve survived any of this without you. So, I’m sorry that I was a terrible sister tonight but I want you to know I will never stop trying to be better for you”

Then Alex exhaled slowly and went to hug her, Kara met her halfway with her own sigh of relief.

“I’m sorry too” she whispered.

Kara squeezed her tighter “don’t be, you were right”

Silence descended for a minute. Cocooned inside the comfortable hold her fears receded enough for her to finally take a leap.

“Can you come with me?”

Alex snorted “of course I will”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next one is actually the last one, even if it gets too long, pinky swear


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, I'm full of shit, ain't I? Sooooo, I've been having some hellish weeks and haven't had much time to write. I thought it be best if I gave you what little i could string together.

There are too many jewels. Shiny silver and gold molded to house emeralds and zircons big enough for her to choke on them.

They’re pretty, that’s undeniable. Beautiful pieces stolen from the earth and put on her hands.

The aqueous green of Moira’s gaze is laid on her expectantly, huge self-satisfied smile on her face. Lena wondered if the woman scrapped the halls of her family home in order to impress her.

She hoped her nervousness would pass as enthusiasm “This is far too much, there really was no need”

“Nonsense, my darling. How else could I receive you into our family if not by giving you the best the Queens have to offer?”

“The gift of your company would’ve been enough”

Oliver had a glint of amusement in his eye and Lena wanted to swat him, but that would have given her away to her future mother-in-law.

Still, she could see how it’s funny to watch her struggle under the unending flattery that she’s being showered with. The whole tournament ordeal was already so unnecessary. It’s not like Lena is going to bail based on how much wealth and lauding they could squeeze out for her.

Her profit was all about public affairs and diplomatic influence, not gems. But Moira was in no urge to stop with the oversized gestures and she didn’t want to be seen as despondent.

Lena had to remind herself that, as the woman looped their arms and strode forward.

“I’ve also brought an artist to have you both painted, he’s truly masterful, you’ll be enchanted by his work” Moira said as she patted the back of her hand.

She summoned all of her good manners to suppress any whining.

Her restraint slipped hours later, fortunately, Moira had disappeared momentarily when preparations for the tourney called for her attention.

The painter seemed too enraptured in his task to hear her. Only Oliver did.

“You could deny her. My mother wouldn’t risk making you angry”

Her head snapped up to look at him “I don’t want there to be any animosity with your mother”

Oliver’s square jaw sifted, he found it humorous “She’ll do whatever you tell her to. Believe me”

Lena turned back on the cushioned chair posture pristine “Well, a portrait is not a bad idea. It’s what spouses do” 

They weren’t married yet but it appeared like such an inevitability she’d just taken to avow it. Oliver sighed but laid a hand on her shoulder, so light it was barely there.

Lena swallowed, spoke quietly, just for the two of them “Do you think we’ll be happy?”

For a moment all she heard was the slow trace of the brush against the canvas and her own breathing. Then his voice came, the hand on her resting more fully.

“You’ve brought light to this place, Lena. I don’t think you realize how much things have changed thanks to you. I admire you, truly” the tone was gentle, a contrast to his usual stoicism “I know we aren’t…I know it’s not perfect”

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to shoo away any thoughts of what perfect meant to her. Of Kara with her golden hair splayed over sunlit grass.

Oliver’s hair wasn’t the same shade and his eyes were the wrong kind of blue. But he spoke to her softly and didn’t let her feel too downhearted. 

“We can try to find our own way to happiness. Whatever that might be”

Lena reached for his hand tentatively. Despite it all, knowing he wasn’t as harrowed about their marriage as she’d originally thought gave her relief.

At the very least they wouldn’t hate each other. Perhaps they could even be friends.

The painter hummed lowly at the change of their hand placement and asked them to remain that way.

So they did, as they talked about trivialities.

By the time their session was over she was astounded at how much awkwardness they had just shed. Oliver smiled when they parted, really smiled, without a hint of obligation.

“I shall say, this is one of the oddest things I’ve witnessed in my life,” Adrik told her a day later, after catching sight of her dueling Felicity on the chessboard, Oliver looking over them with fondness “I mean is it going to be like-“ he made a mangled gesture “-the three of you?”

Lena groaned “why must you be like this?”

“I’m curious, can I join? Can Jordan? Because- fine, I’ll stop talking” He said apologetically once she threw him a murky scowl. 

However, Adrik kept looking at her with insistence.

She gave in with a shrug “They’re nice”

“So are you warming up to the idea of having him around?”

“I guess so”

“And her? Isn’t that a problem?”

Lena scoffed a little “This is far from being the biggest problem I’ve faced. I don’t even think is a problem at all”

“You won’t get jealous then?” Adrik said teasingly.

God, was she jealous, enormously at that.

She was bitter to the bone at the fact that Oliver had Felicity. That he could be around her, that he could look at her and touch her.

Meanwhile, Lena had to go around carrying the notion that she’d never set her eyes on Kara again. Her envy was there every time she watched them have what she couldn’t.

She swallowed it all down, as always “Why would I? If anything I won’t have to be his sole entertainment”

Adrik decided to let it be and instead started to fill her in on the busy events in and out of the palace.

“The host outside the city walls keeps growing. There’s too many fucking banners, I don’t even know half of them”

“isn’t that your job?”

“I’m Saturnian, alright? We don’t have that many titular nobles” He clicked his tongue in annoyance “anyway, I send Rose out to get us a full list of who’s here”

“Was there anyone you did recognize?”

He grinned “There might be someone waiting for you in the throne room”

A short walk later she eyed the dark blue hue of their visitor Lena and shared Adrik’s delight.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you’d be coming”

Nia’s smile was so very bright “I couldn’t ruin the surprise, could I?” 

“Very well then. I take it” she dives forward for a hug and gets received warmly.

She owes Nia a great deal. Holding Umbra hadn’t exactly been easy and she’d had more than a few enemies on her way.

Morgan Edge had waited more than Lena expected but he’d finally made a move, supported by every Lord and Lady that despised the new Queen. Naltor had been a savior to her dire situation and Nia was now dear to her heart.

“Rumor has it, you’re said to be the most beautiful woman to wed in this land in over a hundred years”

Lena was taken back “Did you made that up?”

“Most rumors are made up by someone, doesn’t mean there’s not truth within them” Nia said.

It made her laugh and shake her head “come on, let’s get you seated”

They went to private quarters. Nia took off her boots and gratefully took the heavily poured glass of wine she offered.

“So, Oliver Queen”

Lena nodded, one of the only people she’d announced her engagement directly had been Nia. The rest of the world had heard the basics by word of mouth.

“Blonde, blue eyes, good with a sword” Nia drank a slow sip “it sort of rings a bell for me”

“Stop that”

“Have you told her?”

Lena rubbed her temple “No. You know we do not speak”

“A foul mistake if you ask me. But she must’ve heard by now”

“Yes and what of it? Can’t we talk of something else?”

Nia leaned forward, oozing kindness “You never talk about her and it does your mind no favors, Lena”

“There’s not much I can say. Our lives are separate, no matter how much I wish it to be otherwise”

“So you’re unwilling to risk trying to change that”

Lena felt her lips frisk without her permission “Dreams are one thing, Nia. Life doesn’t solve itself to fit our desires. What was between Kara and me is over”

Nia smiled against the rim of her glass. Holding her gaze with an abstruse meaning on her expression.

“Perhaps, but there’s no harm in dreaming”

…

The pork sausage was decent, with a smoky flavor to balance the fat. The dark ale to wash it down was also not horrible.

Considering the atrocities she’d found in the way, this establishment was by far the most respectable. Which made sense, they weren’t too far off from the palace.

To her left a big group of men bursts into laughs, drunk before midday. She heard their loud chatter even from the corner table.

“I’ll earn me a hundred pieces of gold, wait and see,” a boy said arrogantly.

His buddy doesn’t seem convinced “A lance up your ass, that’s what you’ll earn”

“What he wants is to impress the Queen. Right, Finn?” A woman with a squeaky voice said “She makes you tight in the breeches and you want to show her you’re big and strong”

Another round of wheezing followed and the one called Finn reddened.

“Sorry, my boy. The Queen already has a man to bed”

Kara didn’t mean to but she winced, nearly gagged. Alex bit her lip to suppress her own laughter, while Kelly had the kindness to look appalled.

“People are certainly lining up for these games huh?” the woman spoke, under the soft candlelight her skin shined copper. Her sister kept staring unashamedly and Kelly didn’t even seem to notice.

Kara found them endearing. It cheered her up substantially.

“Lionel was the last one to organize one. This is the first one in twenty years”

Alex appeared surprised by the fact that she knew that. Kara shoved bread into her mouth to avoid being questioned. Lena had told her many things and even the most irrelevant ones had implanted in her memory.

“No wonder they’re going over the top,” Kelly said, thinking back to the crowded outskirts of the cities. They had been forced to zigzag among interminable caravans.

“Maybe Lena has garnered a taste for eccentricities,” Alex said, putting her arm around Kelly, who scooted closer contently.

Kara shook her head. Lena wasn’t one to call for attention. There was no need either, anyone with clear eyesight would have no choice but to be entranced by her. 

“This is the Queen family, Lena wouldn’t do something so careless”

Alex nodded in agreement but Kelly frowned, confused “careless?”

She was reminded of her own innocence and of her mother trying to keep her from going to Kandor’s tourney so long ago. But even back then, Kara wasn’t risking her neck as much as Lena was right now.

“If we snuck in without being questioned or stopped, who knows how many others did” the thought made her fearful. Lena’s reign hadn’t gone unchallenged, Kara had kept her ears open and there were still shadows waiting for the right time to strike.

“Well, lets go tell her that,” Alex said, head tilted toward the door.

Kara shrunk slightly, suddenly wishing she’d left her hood up “I’d like more time to walk the city”

“I’m sure you could do that after”

“Not once everyone knows who I am” she whispered.

Alex wasn’t disturbed by that “Lena wouldn’t tell, not if you don’t want it”

“It’s not her I worry about”

As if on cue the tavern innkeeper came to refill their jugs, as she poured steadily her gaze flew curiously over them “Not from around here, are ya?”

“Easy to tell?” her sister said coolly and the young girl flustered. Kelly ran a palm over the redhead's arm and Kara almost snickered.

“Will you be competing?” the girl asked, leaning over in a coquettish display, her bosom leveled to Alex's face. 

“I don’t think- uh?”

Alex only startled for a moment when her chin was pulled down. Then she threw her undivided care to match the pace of Kelly’s lips.

Kara snorted as she watched the girl shuffle uncomfortably, the heavy pitcher on her hand almost dropping as the two strangers ignored her.

As if to relieve her embarrassment she turned to the blonde “So will you compete?”

She didn’t have time to craft a lie, as Kelly interrupted her.

“That one is also taken, darling” the nipping of Alex’s lips only paused long enough for final words to be said “run along”

The girl scurried away with a stumpy step at being turned down. Kelly looked satisfied and Alex’s eyes were aflame.

Kara shot up at the display “alright, let’s go. You two need a room, I can’t keep watching this”

So they stepped out, into the hectic streets of Umbra. If she were to somehow travel back in time and tell grief-struck child Kara that this is where she’d end up, she’d surely get her shins kicked.

The city looks fairly normal, the lines of the buildings here are sharper and the people’s gaze carries distrust like it’s natural. But apart from that is not too different from other places she’s been to.

It’s really crowded though, so much she thinks if somebody snuck a hand in her pocket they’d get away with it. Instinctively she pats the hidden pouch trapped on her belt line, under the cloak.

Reassured of its presence Kara pushes through the sea of people, Alex and Kelly closely behind. At last, they make it to their lodging and get some blessed space in the quieter street.

They gather their belongings and pay the tab of their one night stay. It had been a nightmare to find a place with a vacancy, and quite expensive, but they needed rest.

Not that Kara had done anything other than roll around in her minuscule bed, thinking about how Lena was hill up, just a few minutes away.

She lifted her head to find the towering palace, where they’re headed. There was no way to delay the advance anymore, Alex had already teased her enough about waking up this morning and rummaging through various merchant stalls for hours.

To be fair, she did want to show up in clothes that weren’t sweated through and dusty from the travel.

“What if she doesn’t want to see me?” She voiced out, even though it’d been an inner query.

Alex squashed Kara’s cheeks with her hands “She will, she’s in love with you”

“But what if that’s changed?”

“Kara,” Alex spoke keenly “ _shahr khuhp”_

She blinked her terror away, her sister had known since forever how to say exactly what she needed. _Trust me._ That she could do, it was as easy as breathing.

They mounted and rode slowly in a straight line. Kara pulled the hood up but the people that parted for her still took notice. They didn’t know who she was but they knew she was someone of importance.

Kara wished she’d carried herself more meekly, that her sword was not the best steel or her horse the finest stud. Aoife twitched his ears like he could read her mind, made her smile.

Eventually, the crowd thinned out and she saw the purple of Umbra’s soldiers more. Her eyes climbed up the huge gate, painted black and embossed with steel circles that shined like moons.

At last, somebody stopped them.

“Where are you going? There are no public hearings today”

Kara dropped the hood “I come to see the Queen”

The man shifted, exasperated “who should I announce is here to see her?” he asked, mockingly.

“Kara Zor-El”

His face went from confusion to mistrust, then –when none of them faltered– it landed in shock.

“Krypton’s Queen considers her time to be extremely valuable” Alex said, impatiently.

The guard waddled away with both shame and urgency and if she were not so nervous it would’ve been funny. Behind her Alex was, in fact, letting out sounds of amusement.

A low rumble preceded the unlocking of the door, the dark wood moved lethargically to allow them passage. Aoife strode straight at her command and she kept her sight set ahead, aware of the eyes following her.

The grey stone of the palace stretched tall and Kara found herself stopping at the bottom of wide stairs.

From the top two bearded statues of accusing faces watched her, tall as trees and flanking the entrance. As if ready to cut her down with their dull pale swords.

“Your Grace,” the guard said with badly disguised reluctance “may we take care of your horses?”

Once on land Kara unfastened the dark cloak, left it slung over her saddlebag. Out of the leather compartment, she fished her mother’s necklace and her father’s ring.

Astra’s daggers were there too but she decided against carrying them with her. Kara had wanted to melt them at first, but her aunt had always told her one day she’d pass them down to her. 

“You can’t bring weapons inside”

She stared at him.

“Your Grace,” he said, as an afterthought “It’s not allowed”

Once unarmed she was led up the stairs and entered the thick walls of the place that had riddled her with nightmares as a kid.

The Luthor’s stronghold felt cold, the grey stone dimming the sun’s warmth. Everything looked oddly rectangular and stiff, whilst on Krypton it was all curved shapes and soft circles.

“You’ll have to wait for us to announce your arrival, once Queen Lena is done-“

Their path was cut by the apparition of a pair. A mature blonde woman with her arm firmly attached to a young’s man bicep.

“-And Thea bakes wonderfully, yes, she can be hardheaded but she’d a good girl. I bet you two will get along well”

“I’m actually ma-“

“Your father handles a merchant fleet, you said? My husband had a ship, just the one, the Queen’s Gambit it was called”

“mhm, a marvelous vessel surely, I- Roy!”

He stopped abruptly and tugged his arm free, took quick steps, and mouthed ‘help’

“Adrik, aren’t you supposed to be…uh” Roy couldn’t fashion a lie.

“Escorting them” he pointed at them “yes, Roy, thank you for-“

His body froze and the arch of his brows overextended. Kara kept a steady gaze on him, putting his features together. Eyes like honey, wavy brown hair, and an ample nose.

“Adrik Cossel” the name came from a recondite part of her brain, she had only the slimmest recollection of his trial.

His tanned lips rubbed together, mouth dry “Princess Kara”

“A little more than that now”

His eyes widened “Forgive me, Your Grace. I didn’t mean to offend you but why…”

“I’m here to see Lena,” she said, trying to appear composed.

“She’s-“

The interruption came as the blonde woman reinserted herself into the conversation, her smile too taunt for Kara’s liking.

“Your Majesty, it is such an honor to have you here. I’m Moira Queen”

Kara nodded politely “Pleased to meet you”

“We’ve met before, of course, you were only a child in your mother’s lap back them, but look at you now in your prime”

The comment bugged her so she pulled the attention elsewhere “This is my sister Alex and her beloved, Kelly”

“Soon to marry, I hope” was all she said before coming back to Kara “if we knew of your attendance, we could’ve cleared the gates for you in advance. Must’ve been a nightmare to get up here”

“We inclined for a discrete entrance”

Moira waved her hand dismissively “yes, yes, now you said you wanted to see Lena? Come on, she wouldn’t want you waiting”

Adrik spoke with a screechy voice “Hold on, I don’t-“

Kara felt the woman’s nails through her shirt as she was dragged away “Make sure they get good accommodations, Adrik”

He was left standing with a panicked look as they moved along.

As they strode the hallways, Kara’s heartbeat accelerated. Moira was talking, but she couldn’t focus on that, all she had on her mind was looping images of the face she’d missed most.

Any moment now, inside one of the many rooms they went pass. Moira turned them left. She was terrified and excited. Wanting to run straight for her but also away.

She’d convinced herself that Lena couldn’t want her anymore. It had been an abhorrent punishment, a crushing burden. Yet that seemed small now, compared to the fear of hearing it. Of it being a reality and not a fabrication.

Moira turned right this time and Kara saw a set of double doors, light ochre oak at the end of a one-way corridor.

“Kara” Alex came to her side, laid a hand on her back “We’re going to wait out here for you, alright?”

“Yes,” she said, without really thinking.

“We’ll be right here”

She nodded and felt her sister backtrack with one last squeeze to her shoulder.

The first thing Kara saw once the door opened were three pairs of identical blue eyes. From their big frames, the crowned kings judged her harshly, making her feel like an insect worth stomping. 

She followed the line of stern portraits down the hall, cranking her neck until she reached the end of the large room.

Against the backdrop of a window, she found two figures.

Lena was resting on a red cushioned seat, body aligned deliberately to look every bit the goddess she was. However, her profile was sharp, head tilted upwards, and smile prominent.

Her heart speeds up in her chest, bumping against her sternum hard. It’s the same smile Kara imagines before her at dawn, when she stretched her hand in a half-awake state only to touch air.

Oliver Queen's laugh was a low grumble that made her aware of his existence. Getting her nose pummeled would be less painful, than seeing their hands resting together over Lena’s right shoulder.

“Lena, dearie, we’ve got a visitor”

The pair turned their sight ahead at the eager call.

Lena’s smile died slowly, leaving her lips lightly agape as her view sets on Kara.

…

Alex kept pacing. Six steps till reaching the wall and then back to the other side.

At the current rate, Kelly was sure she’d manage to dig a trench before Kara came out of the room again. That was of course if she didn’t bolt right in, with how gravely her eyes were falling over the door.

“She’s fine, Alex”

Her comment was only received with a short hum of meager acceptance.

“You told her to trust you. Care to trust yourself now?”

Alex stopped in the middle of the hallway to look at her. A long sigh left her mouth, arms jarring at her hips. “If I am wrong about this…” she shook her head, sentence unfinished.

“Given everything you’ve told me it is impossible. They love each other too much to be apart”

“Maybe something’s got to her head? You saw how hard it was for Kara. What if Lena just, I don’t know, can’t”

“Come here” she beaconed with a soft hand gesture. Alex dragged her feet until they were slotting between hers and Kelly worked those calloused hands that could be so deadly into her own.

She’d seen plenty of Alex’s insecurities by now. That is not to say that Alex has ever been anything near weak, she is after all a warrior, a protector, ready to do whatever it takes for her family.

But when it comes to herself, the redhead continuously doubts, especially in her relations with other people.

Alex is deeply afraid to fail. To disappoint. Kelly knows that after Astra’s death, and her guilt over what happened to Sam, that weight had almost sunk her.

“I worry as well. And I understand you made a promise to Kara, but it’s not up to you” she cupped Alex’s cheek, stroking with her thumb “perhaps it is time we trust them. To choose what happens next”

The way Alex leaned into her hand warmed her chest, yet the frown was not gone “But if-“

“Lexie, no. Let’s just wait”

“Fine”

“Good” she said, giving her girl a quick peck.

Alex smiled shyly and Kelly taped her cheek, happy to have won.

“Aren’t you guys adorable?”

Both their heads snapped back to the newcomer. Nia watched them with a tilted head and crossed arms. 

Kelly remembers riding from her little village after the news of James had reached her. He had broken his leg during combat and the only thing that had kept him alive had been Nia Nal and her sea-soaked ax. 

When she’d professed her gratitude the girl had shaken her head sadly and told her he’d only gotten hurt after saving her in the first place. But James was a bid guy, and he’d laughed it off while asking his sister to scratch his back.

“You’re here too?” Kelly asked, giving her a quick hug.

Nia perched a hand in Alex’s shoulder “Of course, I didn’t want to miss the fun”

“Maybe you could’ve given us a heads up about the whole marriage thing” Alex said.

“I felt it was a bit unnecessary. I knew you’d be here”

“Right, you have premonitions” Alex tone dripped sarcasm.

Kelly smacked her in the chest and spoke to Nia “How long have you been here?”

“I anchored the Nura in Adamere. Got here last week”

“So you’ve kept an eye on things?” Alex perked at the revelation “spill, right now”

Nia smiled at the lack of tact and Kelly offered her a sympathetic glance.

“Well, as you’ve probably deduced already, this arrangement with the Queen family is merely dictated by circumstance”

“But it was mutually bestowed. By both parties, right?” she wondered.

“Lena did not demand to marry Oliver if that’s what you’re asking. Moira raised the proposition, their allegiance has proven very beneficial to Lena’s reign and some of the nobles were getting quite concerned by her indifference to courting”

Alex’s face brightened “So Oliver didn’t request this either. They are both uninterested?”

“Their hearts are elsewhere, yes” Nia nodded “they get along well but they’re far from enthusiastic about being wed”

“Oh, thank Rao”

She rubbed Alex’s back in shared joy “Indeed. So, that’s it? They can call it off?”

Nia looked a little hesitant “it’ll be challenging. Lena keeps a very delicate balance here”

“What do you mean challenging? They don’t want to, end of story” the redhead rebutted.

“Moira has called to every noble on Umbra, to the Queens and Kings of the continent. This tournament is a declaration for everyone. Oliver is a high born Umbranian, while Kara is a Kryptonian whose family has taken down two of their Kings”

Kelly’s optimism wavered “You think this is going to be an issue? 

“I do not know. My dreams only go so far”

…

Lena considered herself to be a decently sane individual. Yes, her father had been a maniac that had fiddled with her existence merely because he was bored.

Sure, her mother was cruel, oftentimes delusional, and had never offered her anything beyond disdain and bruises.

And of course, her brother was one of the maddest men to ever walk on earth.

On occasion, she thought maybe one day she’d be like them too, that her mind would slowly rot away until her brain was nothing but evil delirium and maggots.

But she’d lasted this long without –in her opinion anyway– going absolutely crazy.

At this moment she questioned whether that deduction had been wrong. If she had started wondering too far into her torment that it had broken her.

Kara looked the same and yet different. A little bit older, her eyes a little sadder than when they first met. But she was beautiful, every bit the gallant Princess that had twirled her around in a gentle dance.

Except that couldn’t be, she had to have lost her mind for it to feel so vivid. Too lifelike.

But then Moira spoke again and Oliver untangled their hands.

“Come on, you can finish the portrait later” she advanced, dragging a silent Kara with her “You can go” the painter bowed and rushed to obey.

Lena couldn’t believe it, she blinked repeatedly as if that would take away the illusion. It didn’t. Kara was still there.

Oliver extended a hand to help her up and she took it, unsure if her feet would hold her.

“This is my son, Oliver” Moira presented proudly.

Lena saw Kara eye him up briefly with disinterest, before returning to her.

“And of course, our beloved Queen. Though you’ve already met” Moira finished with a short laugh.

There were no sounds to follow it. Lena’s mouth was sewed by bewilderment and Kara did not seem eager to talk, digging into her eyes instead.

“It is an honor to have you here, Your Grace. Umbra owes you a great deal” Oliver said, awkwardly.

Moira smiled widely “My boy is right. We have a debt to you, Umbra has flourished under Lena’s tender hand and you were the one to help her end Lex’s foul rule. This land would still be in darkness if it weren’t for your mightiness, Red Daughter”

The woman said it all reverentially and yet, Kara’s brows twitched with displeasure. The blonde removed the hand that had been clenching her arm far too long. Lena saw Moira’s humor swiftly plummeting at the action.

It amazed her that she could still read Kara so clearly. The name had traveled the miles between them and Lena had heard it uttered in both ovation and scorn. By the reaction, the Kryptonian seem to lean toward the second.

She found her voice again, facing Moira “Please excuse us, I must speak in privacy with her Majesty”

The woman opened her mouth only to be cut off by her son “Come, mother”

Lena gave Oliver a grateful look as he guided his mother out and closed the door behind them.

Now it’s just them, inside this long hall of Luthor faces. Kara let her eyes drift for the first time, going left to where the canvas is laying abandoned.

Lena watched her, the smooth lines of her ear and the stiffness of her jaw. The blonde stared blankly at the picture that has been carefully created, with many hours of work to make it perfect.

Ludwig had asked if he should paint the rings in advance and she’d say yes. Kara is stone cold, but some part of Lena perceives the ire, knows she wants to turn it into ashes.

Lena stepped closer and reached, then feared, stopping altogether. Regardless of how much time had passed, she still thought back to her touch being rejected up in the El’s secret terrace.

Yet Kara was here now. She’d come to find her. It prompted her eyes to fill with tears suddenly.

Kara was there just as fast and Lena fisted the front of her burgundy vest, ruining the immaculate gold leafing on it.

The blonde pushed and Lena allowed her arm to bend, sending it to rest between their chests. That close, they’re that close.

Kara cupped her face, like holding on to fragile glass and leaned in. Lena let her, stared into blue eyes holding the same throbbing pain she had.

“I’ve thought about holding you every day since you left” is the first thing Kara says to her after three years.

She felt her skin rise to bumps, the words leaving her open-mouthed. The scent was the same, leather, salt, and ripe citrus. Sharp and sweet traveling from her nose to her mouth.

“Tell me,” Lena said, the tone too desperate. If this is a dream it would be the cruelest one yet. But she begs anyway “say it”

A shade of objection raised on Kara’s face. Lena’s hand let’s go of the fabric, crawling up until she could feel the strong thrum of a pulse underneath the peach soft skin.

“We will talk, say everything that needs to be said. I will hear you and you will hear me, and it will all be fine” she says firmly but still caring “just tell me what you want, please”

Kara went pliant for her, letting her know she’d said the right thing. The palms pressing against her cheek wondrously seemed to get warmer and long fingers brushed the back of her ears.

She held her breath, swore Kara did the same. Until she spoke again, crystal droplets just threatening to fall at the edge of her lids.

“Do not marry him” the manner in which her voice strained was heart-rending “I don’t think I could bear it if-“Kara shook her head slowly then tugged her even closer until she could slot their noses together to speak the rest “if you were not mine, and I was not only yours”

Lena smiled. Felt her heart –her once beaten woe heart– go blissful and whole.

“I’ve always been yours, even when I was without you”

“I’m sorry, I should’ve never let you go” Kara says, regretfully scrunching up her face.

“Good thing you are not, right? Because I’m definitely going to be marrying _someone_ ”

Blue eyes glint as she nods “yes, yes, that’s right”

Lena smiles, endeared beyond measure “Then kiss me, you fool” 

And Kara does, hands traveling down to encase Lena’s waist tightly. It feels like she’d going semi-liquid, when their lips come together, threatening to melt with the warmth of hands and breath.

Through it, Kara still managed to hold her, and just when it seems she might retreat Lena pulls her back with a whimper. Fingers going to dig into the tenderness of her nape in a demanding gesture.

It’s distinctively less hurried than she’d imagine, although still adamant and eager. She’s flooded with the same feel of those lazy moments spent on her borrowed bed back on Krypton, kissing like there was nothing else worthy of attention.

Stopping is a struggle for them both yet they do. Lena is rather satisfied with the way Kara’s breathing has shortened, considering she’d seen her swing a sword without breaking a sweat.

“I missed that”

“Me too,” she said, toying with the silver chain of the blonde’s necklace and stroking the golden skin under it “I missed your coronation”

Kara's thumbs applied delicious pressure where they’re hooked beneath her ribs “I missed yours”

“It was more of usurpation in my case”

“Nonsense” Kara kissed her again briefly “and your birthdays, I never got to be there for any of them”

“We have lots of them still” She promised.

“What were you wearing?” Kara asked after a while of them simply taking each other silently.

“Uh?”

“For your coronation?”

“Blue” Lena remembered rejecting the bright shin of purple, the color of Umbra's banner. The deep blue gown she’d stumbled upon in the seamstress’s brackets had called for her, the same way Kara’s eyes did “you?”

“Red”

“How come?”

Kara laughed at the faux surprise in her inflection “I let Alex pick actually”

“Wise choice, you wear it well. How is she?” Lena asked, suddenly realizing she’d never said goodbye.

“Good. Outside, probably glued to Kelly’s mouth” Kara put a hand to her forehead at her confused expression “oh! You haven’t met, come, you’ll like her”

Lena let herself be guided to the door by the excited blonde but reeled last second “Wait, Kara. About the betrothal- we don’t want this, Oliver and I don’t want to get married”

The Kryptonian nodded with relief but still tentative, waiting for the rest.

“But Moira has been…insistent”

“Lena, is this going to put you in any danger?” Kara frowned, worry building up in her tensing neck.

She reached to soothe it “No, I just thought you needed to know. The Queens have stood by me, they were one of the first nobles that didn’t want me dead. They are loyal”

“Sure but will this be changing that? If you rejected Oliver? What would she do?”

“Love, she won’t do anything”

Kara didn’t seem convinced by it “What about the rest of Umbra? All the city talks about is your marriage”

“I don’t concern myself with opinions about my personal affairs”

“But this is political, that’s the sole reason it’s even happening. And I’m an El”

Lena shook her head "Kara, I care about my people but I will not let them have control over this”

Kara sighed at the finality of her words but then blinked, quirked her lips.

“What?” Lena asked.

“Perhaps not on their control”

…

As soon as they step into the hallway Kara can tell they’ve taken too long. Alex looks near imploding, only kept in check by the delicate touch of Kelly’s hand and her kind smile.

Nia and Oliver are trading tired looks as if they’d rather jump from the tower than spend another minute there. At the far back is Adrik, his intense glaring stuck to the bricked wall.

All of them turn their heads at the light click of the lock. It cuts Moira’s sentence in half, but the woman easily accommodates to regain the words.

“Lena, Kara, I hope you managed to catch up. certainly gave us time to get acquaintanced”

“I’m glad you did,” Lena said, “Alex”

The redhead gave her a sharp nod before putting a secure hand on her companions back “This is Kelly Olsen”

“Your Grace” the woman bowed shortly “I believed you've met my brother”

Lena smiled at her easy-going demeanor “Yes, very briefly I’m afraid”

Moira cleared her throat “I was just telling Lady Alex how wonderful it would be if she were to partake in the archer’s competition. I had set the prize at twenty thousand gold pieces but we could make it more appropriate”

“I think getting her in is a bit cruel to the other competitors” Lena said teasingly, saw Alex grin with pride.

“No, no, she ought to, please. To have you in the games will be such a grace to our Kingdom and the uttermost blessing to this marriage”

Everyone’s discomfort spiked at that. Lena almost groaned, watching Kara’s burn like blue flames.

“Moira-“

“And you, Your Majesty. What a joy would it be if you could grant this union your approval as well, Umbra will watch in wonder as you rise victorious”

Kara waited a long second before responding “I will be fighting”

“Splendorous,” Moira said, clapping her hands.

Then she said the rest “That is if your son accepts my challenge for the Queen’s hand”

All sets of eyes widened with astonishment.

Kara turned to Lena and spoke respectfully “and if her Majesty agrees, of course”

“Wait-“Moira tried but Lena had already nodded her permission.

Kara stared down the man she’d spent the whole journey despising, only to feel solidarity in the hint of a smile “I do hope that he doesn’t find me too poor a match”

Oliver’s tone stayed neutral “Not in the least. I accept”

“Then may one of our gods decide whose deserving, in front of the eyes of the realm”

In the back, Adrik whispered and if it hadn’t been so quiet it might’ve gone unheard, but even the sound of a needle falling would’ve been deafening.

“Holly shit”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never thought I'd be so sad about my toxic relationship with supergirl ending, like I hate you but don't leave me


	16. I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about how long it's been, I've been generally unmotivated but here it is. I blew past the word count I had for the "final chapter", so I broke it down into three. I'm posting the first two parts today and the last one tomorrow.

Dinner was the most awkward affair Lena had ever attended, and coming from someone with her life experience that was a considerable feat.

The forks and knives did their dance, letting the clicking platter fill the space. Moira had been left in a stupor for a while, and even now her eyes seemed a little aimless.

Still every couple of minutes the lady of Starling appeared to remember who had birth that gloomy mood and she’d snap her look towards Kara, with a hostility that only lasted a second but that was obvious to everybody.

Lena had hoped for an outburst. This was somehow worst, it made her feel a guilty, to be breaking her word out of selfishness. But she wouldn’t let Kara go, she never really had. 

The blonde was impervious to the looks, or at the very less unaffected. In fact, she was quite chipper, smiling once or twice to herself in such an adorable gesture that Lena wanted to go kiss her.

She sipped her Saturnian wine instead, letting her mind imagine how its zesty flavor would be present afterward on Kara’s sweet tongue.

Nia was the one to break the silence, unsurprisingly “So, Kara, how’s Alura?”

“My mother is visiting her nephew. Though her interest in my cousin's wellbeing is more of an excuse to go spoil Jonny”

“ah, Kal-El’s boy, how old is he now?”

Kara’s face flooded with fondness “four”

“The kid is a storm, I don’t know how Lois and Kal do it” Alex said, leaning back on her chair. Lena noticed she’d barely touched the wine.

“Maybe the same way you did with Kara” Kelly points out.

Alex grined “A bunch of smacking, you mean?”

Lena couldn’t help but laugh, luckily she was not the only one. Even Oliver let out a quick chuckle, although his mother remained quiet beside him.

“I gave as good as I got,” Kara said, shrugging.

“And Eliza?” she wondered, recalling how kind the healer had been with her.

“Doing well. She sent some herbs for you, in case you still have your headaches. She wanted us to ask if your health has been alright” Alex told her.

It warmed her heart that after so long they would remember “She took good care of me, I’ve yet to be unwell” all that was left from the ingestion of the poison was bad memories and occasional headaches. 

“Good.” Kara said, watching Lena with wildly loving eyes.

Moira snapped up from her table, her cheeks red with what Lena guessed to be anger “May I be excused, your Majesty?”

“Yes,” she almost added an apology but Moira rushed out before she could really commit to it. Instead, she turned to Oliver “I’m sorry”

He sighed “She’ll get over it”

“It isn’t our intention to angry her” Kelly offered, ever the conciliator. Alex and Kara nodded their agreement.

“I suspect she’s more humiliated than anything else”

Lena squirmed in her seat, feeling bad “I respect your family, I do, but…” her eyes drifted to Kara.

Oliver smiled “I know. Don’t worry, this will be a temporary discontentment”

Dinner unfolded less sordidly after that as they got a good amount of small talk going. When the food is all gone, and Kelly’s slumping a bit into Alex with tiredness, they call it a night.

They make their way to the rooms silently, the Queen's ward desolated apart from a few guards that bow their heads as they pass.

“It has been a pleasure to meet you, Your Grace” Kelly said, whilst pulling Alex gently her past the threshold of their room.

“It has been my pleasure too”

“Hey, wait a bit” Alex said, holding out her finger before she ducked into the room.

So Lena stood in the hallway, with Kara only a few steps away, staring at her with unyielding warmth. Alex only takes a few seconds, but Lena is already blushing when she comes out from the attention.

“Here, Eliza said a tea of this will help” a box is placed on her hands.

“Thank you” Lena tapped the smooth wood with a finger.

“Of course,” the redhead said, already backtracking.

“Alex” She called, tentatively shuffling forward “I never got the chance to thank you, for saving me that night and… I didn't get to say sorry either, about Sam”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Kara shifting, no doubt preparing for her sister’s reaction. Alex drops her gaze to the floor, breathing slowly.

Lena feared to have said the wrong thing. After all, Sam had been lost by her family’s hand. The same as Astra and Zor-El. And although she thought too highly of Alex to believe she’d be overly hateful about it, it was undeniable it caused her unrepairable pain.

“I'm sorry, if only I could’ve done something to-“

Alex moved quickly and Lena almost dropped the box when she was enveloped in a tight hug.

“It wasn’t your fault,” the woman said simply, in a whisper, then struggled a bit with the rest “nor, uh, nor mine”

Lena freed one of her hands, put it over Alex’s back. “She was amazing” she said, even if the word didn’t quite could honor the woman. A woman that had taken an arrow in her stead when she could've stepped back and let her die. 

Sam had protected her, saved the life of someone she hardly knew. She'd stayed in that doomed hallway with a deterring injury at the cost of Lena's wellbeing and done so without a trace of regret. Lena hadn't even gotten to thank her or mourn her, but she's had three years to guilt herself over it.

Alex made a small sniffling noise, between a chuckle and a whine “She was”

Another pair of arms joined them, Kara pressed a kiss to Alex’s hair and then Lena’s, holding them both. A minute went by before they untangled, Lena already missed the warmth.

“Forgive me, the years seem to have turned me emotional” Alex said, clearing her throat.

“Yes, you’re practically a sentimental grandma” Kara teased, but wiped a runaway tear at the same time from her sister’s cheeks.

“You’re not getting younger, dumbass” Then Alex straightened up, the picture of composure again “and I have a pretty girl in bed awaiting, so guess what? You’ve got less charm than this grandma”

Kara laughed but flushed “Sure, go now. I don’t want to hear about your bed affairs”

Alex gave a lazy wave “Good night, children. Do try to behave and get some rest”

Lena’s face heated but her chest felt lighter than ever, cheeks stiff with the continuous smile she’d been sporting.

“You’re beautiful” Kara said abruptly and although Lena didn’t think she could fall deeper in love with her, somehow, she did.

Her brain failed her, unable to craft an answer, weirdly speechless by two words. Because nobody had ever considered her beautiful, certainly not in the way Kara did. As if every bit of her was a treasure, when she’d thought herself nothing but rusty shrapnel.

The blonde tilted her head, smiled bright enough to light up the Shadowlands from Laiche to Brisa.

“Do you want to come to my room?” Lena blurted out “I mean, if you’re not too tired. It must have been a long journey”

“I think I can hold myself up a bit longer”

“I don’t wish to discomfort you”

“Lena, I’m never too tired for you” Kara said, simply. As if it wasn’t absolutely disarming.

She grabbed the blonde’s hand, wondering why she was so nervous now. Her quarters laid at the keep's heart, her bed the center of the maze that was the palace.

Everything that had belonged to Lex had been stripped away. The furniture, the paintings, and those god-awful hunt prizes with dead eyes. Lena had left it bare, only walls and floor tiles, before refiling it to her liking.

Jess had left the fire burning so it was warm and placid. Kara roamed with slow steps, fingers running over her private library, palms sliding over cushioned seats and knuckles running down the bed’s cream-colored sheets. 

The Kryptonian glared at her once more when her curiosity was sated “Have you been wearing that all day?”

Lena looked at her attire, suddenly self-conscious “yes?”

Kara’s throat produced a sound of soft disapproval, then her legs took unhurried steps and left her standing before Lena “I am truly concerned about your ribs right now”

The comment ripped a laugh out of her, an action that did nothing but prove Kara’s point, as her body fought to expand against the bodice. Lillian had always said there was no better way to hold back boorish laugher than to wear a corset.

A hand landed on her hip, Lena found it with her own, and the adoring expression she got back made her stomach flutter.

“How indecent would it if be if I asked to undress you?”

Lena smirked, trying very hard not to jitter on the spot “Very. Were I a proper lady, I’d slap you”

Kara hummed, then spoke more seriously “Just want you to be comfortable. I could wait outside”

“No” the idea of any distance horrified her “I don’t mind. Actually, I'd prefer it. this attire is quite restrictive”

She needn’t even say please. The blonde worked efficiently, undoing ties and freeing her of layers of silk.

They’ve done this before, it's not precisely foreign but she’s still a little dumbfounded. The last time to undress her all Kara had to do was lift up her thin shift. Now her fingers remove lacing with a practiced confidence she did not expect from a woman that prefers the comfort of trousers. 

Her inner inquisitiveness seems to be loud enough to be answered.

“Alura likes to dress herself but on occasion, I help,” Kara said, midway done with the corset “before, she let my father do it”

Lena found the sentence odd, trying to picture her own parents doing such a thing.

“And i can wear them too, if the occasion merits it” the blonde added, pulling the bodice off and leaving her in her undergarments “all done”

“Thank you” she said and dared to lay a short kiss on Kara’s lips, before walking off to set her clothing. Putting away the fluffy petticoats and slipping on a light green robe.

Then she returned to tug on Kara’s collar “May I?”

After a whispered ‘yes’ from her, Lena undid the buttons of the patterned vest, lifted the silky ivory top of ruffled sleeves, and slid down the dark pants.

Her Kara was left with a grey arm-corded shirt and linen drawers that were ungodlily tailored for her strong thighs. She eyed her figure, found it slimmer than how it had been three years ago, even as she was sure the blonde could still chuck her over her head.

It brought up new worries to her, of what burden the blonde had been carrying. It awoke a deep urgency to be soft with her, so much that her hurt was mended and she could be happy once more.

But she couldn’t try to mend what she only knew partially.

“Perhaps we could talk now?”

Kara clenched her teeth but nodded, acknowledging both the dread and the necessity of the matter. At her initiative they sat at the ample longue before the fire, bodies aligned to regard each other.

For a long moment, Kara’s face remained turned, watching the flames. Lena stared at her, marveling at the shimmering of her skin under the dancing orange shade.

Even below the shirt, she glowed, so beautiful in all of her parts. Many times she had dreamed of having this sight. Kara taking in slow breaths, her solid yet soft flesh rippling to accommodate, the pale flush of her chest where Lena wished to burrow.

“Kara. Maybe we could wait until tomorrow”

The blonde turned to her “No, we waited far too long already”

“We have” she responded, sorrowful.

Kara moved to touch her face gently “Ask me whatever you need to know. I won’t shut you out this time, I promise”

She took in a deep steadying breath. They could do this, without losing the other, without recoiling to separate Kingdoms.

“Before I left…” she trailed off, finding it hard to say despite how much it had haunted her “when we saw each other last, did you wanted me to go?”

At the question, Kara swung an arm over the seat's spine. Not in a simile of relaxation, as her nails dug into the fabric, expression torn.

“I’m not sure. I wanted you to stay but…I also didn’t”

“Why?”

“Because I was afraid, I suppose. That you wouldn’t want me after what I had done”

Lena frowned “I wanted you, Kara. We both know that’s not something to even doubt”

“That you _shouldn’t_ want me, then” Kara swallowed harshly “I felt like– maybe, I felt like I was not someone that deserved to have you anymore”

Her lips parted to refute immediately but something about Kara’s wounded appearance stopped her. So she just let herself watch patiently, as the Kryptonian collected her thoughts.

“I know that you won’t blame me. Nobody has. All I’ve heard is that Lex deserved what i did to him” Kara looked down, at her own hand and the raised scar where a blade had gone through “and when I think of what he took from me. From my mom and Alex. I believe that, but still...”

The speech became more fluent, injected with emotion. It made it apparent to her that the blonde hadn’t spoken out loud about this fear in detail with anyone. Kara leveled her gaze, eyes dark, anguished.

“Lena, I killed your brother”

“Lex was a monster” she said, much too loudly over the quiet crackling of the fire.

It only made Kara more dismayed “He was. I don’t regret killing him, for his deeds or what he could have done next. And I wanted to hurt him, I wanted him to cry and scream and be in so much pain that he could not bear it. When he asked for mercy I denied him”

That forced a shiver down her spine. Lex had cried for her, hoping she could save him. Lena had loathed him and wanted him gone, but it had still chilled her over to see him that broken.

Some nights she dreamt of it. Of a younger boy with brown hair that shushed her nightmares, but then became a bloody mess, the teeth of his proud smile scattered over granite as he called her in terror.

“That night…” the disappointment on her tone of voice was stark “it was like we traded places. Suddenly I was doing what he’d wanted to do to me, what he did to Astra. When I finished it didn’t make me feel better, it made me sick at myself. And I saw you, you looked so frightened”

 _Did i?_ Lena wondered. Truthfully she hadn’t felt in control of her body at the moment. Moreover, Alex had had to haul her to the castle after, when her feet had felt so heavy.

She remembered, of course. Having seen Kara in the middle of the square, surrounded by people. Colored rose red and black rage. A creature that Lena had never seen before.

“I wasn’t scared of you”

“Don’t lie”

Lena reached to clasp Kara’s balled up hand, pried it open, and held on to it. She conveys as much honesty as she can muster, pouring it out with a look.

“The only thing that scares me about you is the idea of ever losing you. That’s what I was thinking that night” She spilled her own burden, hoping Kara could understand “I wasn’t sure that you could ever see me outside of what Lex did to you, to your family”

“Lena-“the blonde tried to interject.

“I know, you don’t think that. Just like I don’t think you’re anything close to the monster he was” against her will, her lip trembled “what you did never changed how I felt for you. But then you couldn’t look at me or let me touch you and-

Before her Kara was close to crying, squeezing her hand like she was worried Lena could disappear.

-I thought I had lost you, so I left. It wasn’t because I was afraid of you, what scared me was that I reminded you too much of Lex to have me in your life. That if I stayed, you would never be happy”

“You are nothing like him” Kara defended, fiercely.

“You aren’t either. Not to me, and if anyone ever tried to say so I would not let them”

Lena saw the slow softening of Kara’s features, finally realizing she’d been wrong. They both were and it had cost them so much precious time.

“I’m sorry” Kara never dropped her gaze as she said it “that I let you think I didn’t want you”

“Doesn’t matter now” She excused, forgetting how to breathe under the blue blizzard of Kara’s eyes “Right? If it isn’t true, if…”

Lena hesitated in her speech. Kara had returned, confessed that she wanted what they once had, and challenged Oliver for her hand. Yet the Kryptonian had something left to say.

A supplication almost slipped from her. It was foolish to think so, but perhaps if she heard it, every single one of her wounds would heal.

The blonde scooted closer and borrowed Lena’s hand, pressing it to her chest. Again, after so long, she felt the steady thud of what had been promised solely to her.

“It was never true” Kara told her, with the uttermost conviction “Lena, I love you”

Her heart skipped a beat, and she could swear Kara’s had too. The longing for those words had kept her awake for years. Waiting, hoping, and wishing to forget when it hurt too much.

Two hands slithered over her gown, gripped her thighs with clear intent. Lena went happily, steadying herself on strong shoulders and sinking in. There wasn't a safest place in the world than Kara’s lap to her. By choice she’d never leave it.

Kara gazed at her, unwavering “I love you now. I’ll love you tomorrow and the day after that. I’ll love you until there’s nothing left of me. But until then I’ll give you everything I have to give” 

At another time Lena wouldn’t have believed such words from anyone. What love had meant to her back then was deceit or fairytale. A delicate flower that could not thrive inside these hideous grey halls.

Her eyes had rolled far too many times at the notion of a feeling so elusive, so unpredictable. Then she’d met her love, in a foreign land with strangely kind people. And yes, it had hurt, but it had also filled her cynical soul with a hope she’d never dreamed to have.

It had told her that she could be safe and happy and loved.

Undyingly loved.

Kara’s eyes shined, two ponds of stars. Too deep to ever find a way out. Lena could only kiss her, taste her, forget everything and everyone that wasn’t the woman before her.

She whispered her love back, over and over, into Kara’s lips with all the dedication held within her. The blonde had the grace to let her, holding on to her hips but otherwise slack among the cushions, letting Lena tilt her head back and take her mouth.

“I love you” she repeated, having lost count “I have never loved anybody else”

Kara expelled a low sound at that, Lena felt it vibrate through the fingers she resting to her love’s throat. The sound was so sweet her heart speed up, egging her to make it surface again.

“or want to marry anyone that is not you”

To her joy, the deep rumble came again and she was drawn further into Kara’s lap. The talking stopped after that and only came back when Lena had been kissed thoroughly, left in a blissed floaty state.

“Stay” she managed to say despite her drowsiness, suddenly tired.

Kara carried her to bed and Lena clung to her quickly, fearsome of being the victim of another cruel dream. 

“Sleep” she was told, a soft hand played with her hair “I’ll be here in the morning. I won't leave you. Never again, I swear”

And so Lena did.

…

Kara wasn’t sure if she had slept or not.

Lena had drifted quickly into a deep slumber and did not wake along the night. Apart from the moments where she’d try to burrow herself closer, she'd been still. 

Kara instead felt like she was compelled to remain conscious, even long after the fire had died, making the room dark. She’d close her eyes but she’d stay.

Every few minutes she would open them again and peek at whatever piece of Lena that she could make out. Hours, starring at the soft curve of ample hips, the peeping shape of her breasts under the gown, or the hollow budding of her clavicles.

How could she ever sleep and lose this precious sight? Rao hadn’t made her strong enough for a feat like that, she decided, carting her fingers over the soft mantel of raven hair.

Lena’s lips turned a bit poutier and Kara almost surged to kiss her little beloved. Perhaps the woman wouldn’t mind, but to disturb her now would be such wrongdoing.

Their talk had left Kara raw and a thousand times more in love. Nearly pushing her to ask the one question stuck inside her throat. But she had to win first. Had to make sure Lena understood she’d fight for the privilege, do anything to prove herself deserving.

Dawn was, for the first time in a while, not torturous. Her bed wasn’t empty and her dreams did not trickle away like sand. Instead, Lena remained real, warm in her arms, revealing her upcoming awareness with a slight twitch of the pale toes that remained hidden amidst Kara's calves.

The green of her eyes was radiant, if ever a little bleary with sleep. A lazy smiled swept up her lips.

“Morning” Kara greeted, unable to keep her own smile hidden.

“hmm, indeed. I haven’t had sleep like that in a long time” Lena leaned in to peck her sweetly “you?”

“The best night I’ve had”

“Best one yet. I’m sure we can improve when we finally marry” despite her boldness, Lena blushed at her own innuendo. 

It made Kara smirk “Making plans, already?”

“Perhaps” The silky eyelashes fluttered, full and flirtatious “being honest I have allowed myself those thoughts for a while”

Kara swallowed hard, as Lena threaded a path with her dainty hand up her side “ oh, have you now?”

“I have. At night’s middle, wishing you were there…” the thumb rubbed, made her skin tingle, and compelled her to kiss Lena’s fingertip.

It was embarrassing, how the brunette could disarm her with some words. Make her surrender faster than anyone with a sword could ever have.

“Me too” Kara confessed, thinking precisely of those moments of loneliness. Moments that could only be quelled, and very little, by imagining this closeness.

“Then we have an awful lot of things to catch up to” Lena said, husky and pretty and-

A gasp came to alert them of a new presence, neither of them having heard the door being opened.

“Dear Lord! Oh, forgive me. I did not meant to intrude, Your grace” the woman recently arrived cast her eyes to the floor.

Lena lifted an apologetic hand “No, you must forgive me Jess. I didn’t have the forethought to tell you of our visitors” with a small gesture she alluded to the Kryptonian “This is Kara. Kara, this is lady Jess”

The blonde waved but Jess, courtly just a second ago, was now staring at her with aggravation. 

“ _The_ Kara Zor-El?”

“Jess…” Lena climbed out of bed, speaking with measured calmness.

Suddenly Kara had an accusing finger pointed her way, the woman slowly stepped forward “You just come back like that?”

“Pardon me?” she asked dumbly.

Jess scoffed, unimpressed “After this long? You let her cross a whole country by herself, you know that? She was in danger, so many times”

Kara felt like she’d been smacked in the face. Her eyes searched Lena, finding her wincing with her fingers over her mouth, quietly watching.

“I didn’t-“

Jess stopped her “Now that she’s expected to marry, how wonderfully convenient. Well, let me say this: I don’t like you and I think she deserves better than someone so cowardly obtuse”

The room was subjected to an uncomfortable silence. Kara mulled the statement over, aware that to her left Lena was looking at her with worry.

She was devoid of argument since Jess had not lied, or at the very least, said anything Kara could disagree with. It made her consider how close she’d had to be with Lena, to get that kind of sympathetic resentment.

So Kara said the only true thing that could redeem her character “I love her”

Jess stared in an air of ridicule, so she twisted out of the sheets and sat at the edge of the mattress. It had to be a sight surely, with unruly bed hair in her underpants, trying to be taken seriously.

“And you’re right. I was a coward and stupid, but I love her so much. And she loves me too” Kara’s voice got slightly faint.

It shouldn’t be so hard to admit something so true. But Lena did love her, despite everything she ruined. Despite the strange hurt beast Kara knew now existed within her.

Lena loved her the same, somehow, and she was never going to be neglectful with that gift.

“She does deserve better, and that’s what I’ll try to be. For her. I intent nothing but to make her happy, Jess”

Whether it was the earnestness of her speech or the usage of the name, the woman showed a hint of recognition then, after having thrown Lena a look to confirm.

“She’s insufferable” Jess declared and Lena only smiled in response. Turning to Kara once more she said “I suggest you make good on what you’ve said, unless you have no regard for your safety”

Kara nodded “Understood”

Jess sighed, went for the door “I will prepare you a bath, though I suppose you won’t need my help”

Lena struggled to hold down her laugh “Not today”

Thus they’re left alone and immediately Kara groaned. Lena does laugh then, walking to her and soothingly rubbing her back.

“I take it she’s your esteemed friend?”

“Very much so”

“She’s terrifying. Forget maid, she should be your guard” she said, enjoying the hands now squeezing out the tension on her shoulders. 

“Darling, Jess hasn’t been my maid since I came back. She runs the Crown's Justice, though sometimes she still helps me”

Kara’s eyes went wide “Jess is your executioner?” 

“Legislator, but just to be safe don’t piss her off” Lena said, kissing her cheek.

“Understood”

So, with that rocky start the day takes off. Unfortunately that implies separating from Lena, sneaking out of the room before the maids can whisper about the Queen’s nocturnal company.

Alex was inside her room at her return and before she even speaks, Kara is already blushing. 

“Slept good?”

“Shut up”

Her sister lifted a brow “well, I was just being polite but, please, continue being an ass”

“Sorry” she mumbled back.

Alex waited a beat, then proceeded to be annoying “How much sleeping are we talking about? Because you look a little restless, rolled in the sheets much?”

“Alex that’s not- I mean, I didn’t sleep…but not because of- ugh, forget it. Why are you here anyway?”

“To tell you a very crucial thing” She stood oddly close to Kara, ominously even “Remember that whole ‘she doesn’t want me’ nonsense”

Kara shook her head, felt her forhead being tappedby a finger.

“I told you so” Alex said smugly.

After chasing her sister out, begrudgingly recognizing Alex had been right, Kara gets out of her old clothing. They’ve brought a tub for her, not too long ago going by the warm water, provided scented soap and drying cloths. There’s a light sheen on the water, some kind of oil she supposes. 

She hates it a little, even if there’s a decent amount of space, it still feels crammed and makes her miss her own bathing methods. Regardless, it gets her clean and that is definitely enough to be grateful.

All of her belonging have been taken to her, even her sword and daggers, more than likely under Lena’s approval. So she puts on her clothing, that has clearly been washed by someone with the extreme care.

As she’s sliding on her boots a knock comes. Kelly has taken to braid her hair occasionally. It’s nice, if ever a little awkward when it first happened.

“How did it go?” Kelly asks, delicately starting to gather the roots of her hair.

“It was…honestly, the best night I've had in three years” She says, finding it easy to run her mouth around the woman’s caring manner “We talked and, it was like you said. I had assumed a lot of things. Wrongly”

“Yes, you and Alex aren’t very good at healthy communication” Kelly tucked some hair behind her ears, she was soft-spoken in a way that meant even when she pointed out flaws it was never hurtful “but you’re getting better already”

Kara hummed at the reassurance “I really like you, you know? Alex better not screw things up”

The comment gave life to a light chuckle “I like you too, dear”

Kelly pinned down her work, a loose link going around the back held down with a silver pin and the rest free to drop down her back. Kara always had the impression her hair was left fluffier after Kelly had touched it, prettier. But maybe it was just her feeling cared for.

Moira avoided them again for breakfast and although a part of her felt bad about her, Kara was still relieved with how dreadful supper had been the night before. 

Lena arrived a little late, sighed before even sitting“Did she left?”

“Only temporarily, she was feeling somewhat pious today” Oliver informed.

“Well, if she opts for the confession both, Eoin will have plenty of things to announce later” Lena’s frown spoke of a tired worry.

Kara felt curios “Eoin?”

“The town’s priest, he finds me truly distasteful, would hang me given the chance” there was a semblance of a joke behind it. Kara does not like it.

Alex whistled, poorly sat on her chair “What a shithead. Could use a bit of reprimand”

“That wouldn’t sit very well with the people, I’m afraid” Lena said.

Oliver raised both of his stocky brows “His holiness has far less control of the public opinion than you think. They remember what he was allowed to do under Lex's rule”

“Should I speak with this _priest_?” Kara dragged the word, already angered.

Lena gave the warmest of looks “As much as I would enjoy that, there’s no need, my love”

Kara has the urge to flop belly up like a spoiled kitty at the tenderness in Lena’s tone. If they were alone maybe she would. Instead, she nods and puts an elbow on the table, ducking behind her hand to hide her smile.

The talk comes idly over the sounds of the platter. Alex gives herself free reign to be noisy and pokes around to find the missing pieces of Lena’s life since they last saw each other. Unsurprisingly, much of it is composed of grim tales and even though the recount of events sounds honest, Kara can tell Lena decided to skip over many things.

“So that’s when you met then?” Alex asks, between bites of her buttered bread.

Oliver shakes her head “No, my mother was the one she found in Starling. I was away at the time. We met later, under rather unpleasant circumstances really”

“How so?” Kelly intended a harmless inquire, but when Lena went tense it became apparent she’d stepped on an unsavory memory.

“The blackened winter,” Kara said by some dumb compulsion of curiosity.

She knew more than most, had made sure to. Krypton had enough ears in the south to have it be detailed and yet, as Lena met her eye, Kara realized she was plagued by ignorance.

“Though days” Oliver’s stern demeanor served the words perfectly “Moran Edge was never a man to admire but to think he’d turn to such cruelty”

Lena spoke then, with astounding coldness “There was nothing but evil in his heart since the beginning”

The remorse consumed her for a moment. By the time the knowledge had reached Argo the damage was done, she couldn’t do anything against what had already happened.

That didn’t mean she was guiltless. She should have been there all along. Not miles away while Lena received charred bones of her people from a depraved barbarian.

Before she could muster the right way of expressing that, the doors glided open with a new arrival. Adrik stepped forward with ease, confident about his place in Lena’s inner circle. He ought to be in his early twenty by now, but he retained the cockiness of a rowdy teenager.

At the very least he bowed in greeting, but only a second, and then he leaned over Lena’s chair. The woman didn’t seem bothered by it at all, craning her neck to regard him.

“Rose is back. Well, she’s been back since yesterday but you were…busy”

Lena cleared her throat “Give her my apologies”

“She understands. Anyway, she gathered a full list of the attending nobles. Two hundred rounded, not counting all their hirelings”

“Great” the answer lacked any enthusiasm “make sure they accommodate properly, please”

“Got it”

“Thank you, Adrik” 

He winked and stole an apple from the table “Of course, Your Grace”

Kara might’ve felt a bit of jealousy about his strangely flirty demeanor, but that would’ve been silly of her. Also, Adrik carried the shiny gold band on his finger that meant marriage in this land.

He apparently sensed her staring and turned, biting a chunk of apple “Ready for that fight you promised? Because I for one, I’m dying to see how that goes”

“Maybe you could help me warm up. I do believe we never got to cross swords, you weren’t in the front”

Her words weren’t necessarily hard, could be played off as banter but still, the boy squared up perceptibly. However before they could talk any further the door busted open a second time, which seemed to be a rather normal occurrence.

For a moment, Kara felt frightened that they had an armed intruder. But the woman that walked in dropped the bow she carried on the table like a toddler displeased with a toy and crossed her arms.

“Were you even going to tell me?” Despite her slim built the girl expelled a menacing air.

“Thea…” Oliver stood, drawing his hands up in appeasement.

An intention that the girl refused, shaking her head, the short brown hair a courting that stopped at the jaw.

“A public fight? Ollie, mom is going to- God, I don’t even know”

“I thought you'd back me up” the man said, looking as insecure as he’d allow being seen in the open.

“I know you were dreading having to go through with this marriage. No offense, Lena” the girl spared the Queen a look of apology

Lena shrugged “None taken”

Thea turned again to Oliver “And I am glad you’re finally taking a stance about it but couldn’t you have made it a quiet affair? The whole city has gone mad”

“What?” Lena and Oliver said in tune.

“They’re talking about it all over, about her and _you_ ” she pointed to Kara and then poked her brother in the chest “of your forsaken duel for the Queen’s hand. Honestly, brother, I would have liked a warning at least”

Kara saw Lena paling, lifting her body off the chair with a certain shakiness “Who have you heard this from?”

Thea scoffed “Everyone with a mouth”


	17. II

Everyone meant, as they discovered rather rudely, the whole city. From the Palace to the city gate and even the field of tents outside of it. Like a disease, the news had spread from mouth to mouth and taken over the streets, the ins, and the whorehouses. Not one place left unknowing.

Lena brought a hand to her forehead at her own stupidity. She’d wanted to make it an announcement. Something nearing theatrical, with Kara and Oliver making it seem more spontaneous than it had been. Something that appeared as unmanipulated, out of her control.

Nevertheless, that plan was ruined now. Instead, people knew that Kara had come in secret, spent a good amount of time speaking with the Queen in private, and then propositioned a challenge to dispute her hand in marriage.

Fucking superb.

She had never been someone to display emotions carelessly, that much had been installed in her from a young age. Most of the time she took punishment unflinchingly unless it was something dear to her on the line. This was so very close to crossing that threshold that it hurt to hold it down. Still, she tried to speak calmly, rationally, or at least not entirely in hysterics.

“Why?”

Moira perched her hands together above her knee, her neck was a long line ending in a lifted chin that spoke of magnified prided “I don’t know what you mean”

Lena took in a sharp breath, a failed attempt at cooling down the fire inside her “You are the only one who knew that left the palace. Nobody else could be responsible”

“Perhaps one of your guards, your maids, the cooks” the woman pursed her lips in mockery “you did, after all, parade your lover around quite uncaringly last night”

“Moira. I don’t do well with lies so be forthright”

The blonde brows of the woman inched up “You don’t? I thought it was the opposite” her tone darkened then, abandoning politeness “given you’ve decided to lie to everyone just so that you can have your way and make a joke out of my family”

“That is not-“ Lena tried to explain, what little she could, but was cut off swiftly.

“You want to ruin my son’s honor by having him fight this woman, whom I presume you won’t allow to be defeated, in front of the eyes of Umbra. That is an injustice, and you won’t see me sit and let it be”

“Oliver has agreed to this. You know this marriage is a nightmare for him. For us both. We wouldn’t be happy” Lena said, begging for a reprieve.

“You lie yet again. I’ve seen you together, you could be” Moira spoke and under the bitterness, Lena heard a bit of plea “You could be happy someday. Most marriages are like that”

It was true of every couple she’d met. You married and then later you decided if you could enjoy each other. Happiness was an afterthought, a gamble, and more often than not, all you could hope for was some sense of plain normalcy.

“And I wouldn’t be opposed to it” true as well, that if she ought to marry a stranger, Oliver Queen was a lucky match “I could grow to care for him. Show him affection, maybe. If my heart was empty. But it isn’t”

Her heart was full already, every single corner belonged to Kara, and were she to live a century then that’s how long it would remain that way. There was no changing it, attempting to would be similar to try to drink a sea dry. An endless, impossible, painful task.

“Oliver’s isn’t either. You know that”

Moira glanced at her, disbelieving “Lady Smoak lacks the stature to be my son’s bride. The heir of my house will not have a baseborn bride”

“He loves her. She’s a fine woman. Shouldn’t that matter more?”

The woman considered it, a shade of doubt crossing her face. Then Moira slowly came to her feet, looking down on her harshly.

“My family has risked a lot to have you where you are. Don’t be mistaken, Lena, we let you keep that crown when we could’ve surrendered you to Edge and see you burn with the rest. Disrespecting us is unwise”

Lena stared at her, teeth biting down on the inside of her cheek with unreleased fury.

“Call off this charade and I will hold nothing against you. Continue and you may find your authority questioned once more” 

With that Moira Queen turned on her heel and left, without a consequence. Lena, on the other hand, felt a crushing weight unloading on her shoulders.

Why was it that life had this unrelenting desire to have her joy stolen just as she’d manage to reclaim the damn thing? Maybe Eoin was right and their God hated her, and the innate sin within her.

She let her forehead rest on top of her hand. Willing herself not to scratch her ear bloody like she’d done other times when confronted with less than ideal situations.

That’s how Kara found her, in a pit of her worries. Lena had known it was her, because the few people that came to see her rarely knocked. Adrik in particular, loved a dramatic entrance, something Lena wouldn’t have guessed from the shy boy he’d been when they met.

But Kara wasn’t like him, so when Lena gave a gesture of permission the blonde shuffled in and closed the door behind her carefully. Then she remained hovering for a bit, merely taking in the sight of Lena.

“Hi” Kara said in a quiet voice, as if trying not to disturb some important occurrence.

Lena, despite all of her perils, smiled. How could she not?

“Did you waited long?”

“I expect it to be longer actually”

That made Lena sigh “She had little to say. Apart from the obvious”

Kara walked her way, until she could be precariously perched on the dark mahogany of Lena’s writing table, making some paper scrunch beneath her “Which was?”

“That I’m an ungrateful liar plotting against her family, apparently”

“Well, seems to me she know owes you an apology” it was an attempt at reassurance yet she said it so somberly Lena’s brows furrowed. Kara realized it and slid right over the wood, until she could reach to softly touch her cheek “I’m sorry”

“Oh no, it’s alright. I’m quite used to being regarded as a scourge” it was supposed to be funny, except Kara had never shared her habit of being the subject of those quips.

“You are not or will ever be anything of the sort, and I will remind anyone who dares to insinuate otherwise of their error”

Lena afforded a little smug grin and rose to stand, warm with the prospect “My knight in shining armor. You want to protect me, my love?”

Kara blinked as if surprised “Of course I do” two hands slid around her waist to bring her close “I would die before I let anything happen to you”

“Hmm, so very brave of you” Lena kissed her then, slow and steady before drawing back “though I don’t fancy myself damsel in distress anymore”

A wide smile took over Kara’s face “When were you ever?”

“I can think of a few times” she said and ran her hands up Kara’s hard stomach, swirling her thumbs until she had the blonde biting her lip “always liked the way you looked wielding a sword. So strong”

“Lena…” Kara said, going raspy when Lena decided to cant her hips, stuck between warning and encouragement.

“So powerful” She felt Kara’s touch lingering low on her back, exquisitely near to her bottom "so solid"

“So gross”

Lena keened at the interruption, Kara screamed.

“Alex!”

The redhead gestured to their bodies “five inches apart, please”

“You do know I’ve walked in on some disturbing scenes of you and-“ Kara started, visibly annoyed.

“Shh, that never happened. Now, I went down there and the Queen girl was not lying. I couldn’t walk two steps without hearing about the duel” Alex said, throwing her arm out in exasperation “but as a silver lining, I saw no torches or pitchforks”

“Did you hear anything…concerning?”

“I’m not sure. There were some detractors, then again we've been trying to rip off each other's heads for a while and you are favoring a Kryptonian over a highborn Umbrenian” Alex stepped forward and heavily leaned on the chair Moira had left vacant before adding more “though, a big majority is quite taken with the spectacle”

Lena looked at her in confusion “are they?” and she must’ve sounded fatigued because Kara kissed her temple with care.

Alex regarded her more softly as well “Lads are placing bets and ladies are envying you. And even though is not a popular choice you've made, nobody is rioting”

It should’ve been a relief to hear that and yet it didn’t ease her worry in any way. Umbra was a place of shadows and hate was spoken, more often than not, out of daylight.

Not even Lex had understood the extent of what people said behind his back. Lena chose, for the sake of her sanity, not to search those dark places where her name was an injury. She was certain that what Eoin said in ceremony was all but a mite of the whispers underneath.

“Alex, can we please have the room?” Kara asked, sensible as ever.

“If you need me, send the word”

“Thank you,” Lena told her.

Left alone, they fell into an anxious silence, one that felt so awfully reminiscent of when they had drifted apart three years ago. It scared her, to think they would be separated again. How many years this time? 

“Do you…” Kara swallowed with difficulty, bounced her knee “not want to go through with this?”

Lena’s heart halted “What?”

“I mean, I would understand if-“

Lena ended the thought quickly “No. We’re not doing this again”

“but…” the rest never comes and it made her think that Kara doesn’t have any arguments. 

“I don’t care, about any of it” She didn’t. Not enough to choose over Kara, to let go of her while they were still alive “Simply about you, alright?”

Kara stilled and exhaled “Yes, me too” and then Lena was wrapped in a hug, sinking in gladly into the blonde again.

It could all go poorly, that was nearly a given. But they talked to Oliver and he wasn’t backtracking either. So the duel stood firmly in place, only now they’d have to rush it. Make sure they allowed little time to the displeased, before their complaints turned into a full-fledged mutiny. 

Needless to say, Lena spent the remaining day hours riddled with concern that swiftly brought on a throbbing headache. In contrast, Kara maintained a security that could’ve been unnerving, if Lena were unable to distinguish when the blonde was acting tough in her behalf.

“I know I can’t change your mind but…please, change your mind” Adrik begged, his golden eyes piercing.

"You were the one pushing me not to settle for a loveless marrige. Reminding me of her at every chance"

"I never thought you'd do it. And like this!? After what it took forus to get here alive, why would you risk it?"

“Wouldn't you? If it was Jordan” She countered.

He gasped “Don’t drag my husband into this insanity. Do you know how many people have come here? It’s not a mob, it’s a fucking army”

“You’ll keep us safe”

“I will, but that doesn’t mean- fuck, can’t you two just run off? Sail into the sunset and forget all of this. My father had not disowned me yet, Saturn will offer you refuge”

Lena shook her head “You know I can’t. Just do as I’ve told you”

Adrik narrowed his eyes “Lena, I’d do anything for you. But don’t make me complicit in your downfall. I will not let you risk your life for this”

“There is no world in which you’d be able to tell me what to do”

For as long as she’d know him, Adrik had been the kind of person to smile even in the face of death. Wherever they were, inside the comforts of the palace or somewhere in a muddy field with their guts cramping in hunger.

Lena hadn’t seen him falter. Now, as Adrik gave her that same look of betrayal of his teen self had after being put butt-first on the floor of the library, it felt like she was the one pushing him towards sorrow.

“I have to” was all she could tell him, and it had every bit the effect she expected.

“As you wish, Your Grace” he said, lip-tight and cold “by the way, the guests have settled in the left-wing. I’ve convinced them you’re busy, but you’ll have to see them tonight”

Thus, the headache only got worse.

…

Fear was not a notion Kara found strange. In fact, life had been abundant in its delivery. Yet most of the people that knew her called her brave, stubbornly so.

Tonight she didn’t fit into either. The fear would come tomorrow, the bravery would too. Tonight, her mind was light and her heart was full as she gazed down at the woman she loved.

Lena was the calm before the storm. For a moment, Kara was scorched with a love so big it hurt.

They could ride out the cyclone, and no matter if their ship was struck with lighting or torn by waves, she’d keep it together with her bare hands. For Lena, she would.

It had been an awful day and an even worse night. She’d been forced to sit back as Lena dealt with a flock of nobles who reeked of treachery. Kara had had the impulse to put them in place, a volatile mood that Lena had quelled with a firm look.

She had obeyed, but that couldn’t be said for the rest. They had asked about her, questioned everything about the new development in the marriage arrangement of their Queen. For as diplomatic as Lena had been, the frustration on her was evident.

And now Kara could see that it had tired her out. The room was cold and Lena’s body cowered from it as she curled into herself. With her finger Kara removed the hair that had draped over and admired how peaceful the woman seemed now.

The twenty-one year old version she’d met for the first time had owned slightly sharper features. A slenderness that Kara had never paid mind to until Lena had quietly told her about her mother's particular punishments. Lillian had done herself a favor by vanishing before Kara could find her. Older Lena had softened, delicate but iron-willed and perfect as ever.

When she ran a thumb over the feathery black of a brow, her Lena woke with a lazy blink.

“Where you dreaming?”

Lena licked her lips, breathing still irregularly “I think I was”

“About what things, my love?” she questioned, lovingly petting dark hair.

“I never remember much but…woods and screams. Someone called my name and-“with a dismissive hand flop the matter was pushed aside “you were gone longer than I expected”

“I had to speak with Alex” It had been a discussion she’d envisioned short and yet, it had dragged along for over an hour “she’ll sit with you”

They had guards of course, but Kara needed someone she trusted. Kara would be below, in the sand, too far away if things went south.

“And you?” Lena said, accommodating her body and sneaking a hand around Kara’s legs to rest her chin over a sharp hipbone.

Kara stared down at her with a tiny smile “You know where I’ll be, _zhao_ ”

“We could leave” tears tethered to the bottom of Lena's dark lashes.

The blonde made sure to wipe the single rogue one softly “My Queen does not run” she said, even as she was tempted. They both knew regardless that fleeing wasn’t a solution but a delay.

At least that made Lena smile “Sometimes she wants to”

“Perhaps a bit of good sleep would help then. Come on”

She let the woman half rise before lifting her up. Lena held on to her without complains, the bed was near and it was unneeded but Kara spared her the few steps with joy.

“Sleep this time” Lena commanded when they were set under the thick covers.

“I will”

Kara did as promised, enveloped in the pleasant scent and heat of her bed companion. A dreamless night that had her wakened with heavy limbs and Lena’s head on her chest. A good rest that she hadn’t had in years.

Lena spent half an hour kissing her between the sheets, a desperate indulgence to see them through the day. Kara relished in it and let herself be made into a happy and flustered woman.

Just like she expected the fear sprung to life inside her once she was up. As she readied to leave the palace, spreading slowly like the blooming of a flower.

Absently her hand came to grip the necklace resting on her chest. She thought of her parents and the bond they’d shared, how they’d made a daughter to embody that infinite love.

Seeing them lose each other had broken her heart, pushed her to believe that loving merely ended in hurt. But Kara wanted it now, despite the sting.

“Are you alright?”

Kara turned and tried to unstiffen her face “Of course” it was only a partial lie.

Nia was offering her a sympathetic smile, not easily fooled “Sure?”

“I mean, it would be wonderful to have some foretelling about how it’s all going to be”

“That’s not how the dreaming works, unfortunately”

She nodded along “James told me that you had seen something about us”

Her heart had been too chewed up to ask after they’d fallen apart. But now it seemed massively important to have a gaze into their future.

“The gift is…far from legible sometimes. I dreamed that you joined and defeated the darkness, and you did. I’ve seen other things, fire sweltering blood right here just a winter ago”

“Edge.” Kara guessed “is that how you knew to come?”

“Yes. Saw you coming too, a black stallion crossing the gates” Nia said “but since then, nothing else”

“I figured as much. You have your’ ax ready?” the change of subject was meant to dissipate tension and Nia was gracious enough to let it be.

“Sharpened it last night”

“Good” Kara sighed and waited a second. Just one, before moving on “we better get going”

They made the march in silence, as they turned a corner Alex joined them with firm steps.

“We’re set” Her sister said solemnly and Kara could only bring herself to mutter recognition.

A couple of hallways later they found they came across the main door and she had the span of three feet to fix her demeanor. Not only must she fight the need to go to Lena but also, the displeasure of their obligatory company.

Bothering to learn the names of pompous lords was a waste of her time, and she wasn’t willing to acknowledge them individually. Better to keep their status reduced to a pack of displeased eyes.

Alex skipped the stairs first as if to guard her against their judgment and Kara went behind her at a slower pace. Moira Queen in particular followed her with a inflexible glance the whole way to her horse. 

“Hello, _b ysh_” She hushed, petting Aoife’s neck. He looked rested and in a good mood, she sincerely envied him.

“Ready for this?” Alex asked, tugging on the reigns of her own animal.

“No” Kara admitted confidentially, and as if on cue the Queen made her arrival.

Lena’s attire would have been deemed simple if worn by another woman on the standard of nobility. That was entirely the opposite effect she gave wearing the gown of lavender satin. She looked unearthly, untouchable.

And yet, her arm was cradled by Oliver’s squarish hand. Kara perceived it for the act that it was but it arose her heed regardless.

The Queen acted polite, thanking everyone for their patience, and didn’t detach from her betrothed until it was her time to mount. Kara shunned her eyes to the side the entire time. With everyone ready, the gate slowly creaked open.

Adrik led the advance, she didn’t know him well but it was clear his behavior was uncharacteristically dejected. Lena and Oliver rode side by side, flanked by guardians with stone-cold faces, perhaps the youngest looking royal guard Umbra had ever seen.

Kara trailed behind them, between Nia and Alex, her sword ready for draw. At first, the streets were empty, no doubt the result of a strict clearing of the vicinities of the palace. As they headed down through the main road though, faces started to pop out of the windows.

Lena had placed as many of her soldiers in the city as she’d dare, whilst trying to avoid making her presence tyrannical. But when their route reached its middle point, the purple and silver of their attire became barely a thin line against the background of the trailing crowd.

“Kara…” Nia called suddenly.

It was an unnecessary warning because Kara had seen it immediately. it was impossible not to.

Over a hundred men stood in the road, they had closed the street, blocking the road using their tightly packed bodies. With a single order, Lena could have them swept like leaves if she wanted to.

But she wasn’t cruel or stupid. Blood meant chaos, and chaos was known to spark wars.

“Eoin, I take it your church was too small for this particular gathering?” Lena spoke calmly, bringing them to a halt.

For some reason, Kara had envisioned the priest as an old man with extravagant robes. The one that stood here, however, did not pass fifty and dressed simply in full black, except for the golden cross strung to his neck.

He ignored the Queen’s chance for dismissal altogether “We are the Lord’s acolytes, here to cast you out for you have broken his law”

When the sentence was finished the priest pulled forward the hand he’d clutched behind him, lifting a slim but sharp dagger. A chorus of sharp whistling sounded as the swords of the royal guard were set free, Lena held her soldiers back with a raised fist.

Kara had to commend the restrain she mustered to not gallop forward and make the man submit.

“What is your accusation this time?”

“Your infringements were already beyond aberrant but now, you decline sacred marriage to unite yourself with pagans”

Heads turned to stare her way and Kara swore she was bathing in hot wax. Instinctively, she slid her palm closer to the hilt of her weapon.

“Krypton is an ally of the crown and their Queen-”

“She’s a filthy Kryptonian. A murderer!” he shouted, looking at the bystanders in search of support “that took our last true King and instead of bringing justice, you’ll sell out Umbra and push us out of our land”

Lena frowned, voice growing louder to combat the rising chatter of the people around them “I have never plotted anything of the sort. Under my protection, nobody will ever take what belongs to you“

“Slavery, you mean, not protection. That is all you will ever give us” The priest started to redden with ire, he sidestepped and regarded the further end of their line “Good lords, you must come at our aid. She is not one of you. She doesn’t deserve the crown, unlike the rest of you”

There was no need to turn, Kara needn’t guess. Half of them had already considered it and the other half were doing so just now.

“Chose your words wisely now” Adrik warned severely.

“Do not speak to me of wisdom, Saturnian. You don’t belong here”

That seemed to upset the Queen more than what had been said of her “Step off the streets. The church is unauthorized to obstruct public domain” Lena offered more mercy, despite the fact that insurrection was regularly punished with execution.

“It is God’s domain I am stepping on and he sends me to purify it of festering depravity, like yourself” he widened his stance and spread his arms out, those he had gathered inched forward with their weapons.

The expectant crowd brew with restlessness and loudened, Lena’s soldiers held back the shifting mass. In the back, the ladies of the court whimpered in fear and the lords whispered disloyalties. The spark had kindled and if the wind picked up, a fire would soon follow.

Kara rejected that prospect, two wars had been enough to live through and she refused to breed another before even turning thirty.

“I’m stopping this” 

Alex didn’t enjoy improvisation but she didn’t argue at her sudden choice. Kara made her advance with measured slowness, still she was noticed the instant Aoife abandoned the formation.

A jarring silence overtook the street but Kara kept on going and none of the Royal escort stopped her. It took her less than a minute to reach the front, although it seemed eternal.

Lena stared at her with an immutable expression but Kara could see behind that veil, to the dread clustering tight in her chest.

 _Idiot, do not._ She could almost hear her say. This once she ignored it.

“Alex, _thronivzhed_ ” She told her sister. Needlessly, the redhead had already taken place beside Adrik, and Nia had sneaked in with them. Now the three of them stood like a wall safekeeping Lena.

With that covered, Kara halted her black stallion and climbed down to the pebbled ground. She walked only a bit further until she was within equal distance of both sides. Friends and foes.

Eoin watched her murkily but remained quiet with maddened incredulity.

“I assume you know my name”

“Kara Zor-El” he spat, like pronouncing it had left his mouth sour “do you mean to frighten me, child? The Red Daughter! Finally here to conquer what her father couldn’t?”

The snarky tone of the priest was plentiful motive to have her wrathful. However, her intent was not to prove the rumors that held her as a butcher. Most importantly, she had to avoid conflict.

She looked past Eoin and instead sought the eye of his fellowship. The Umbrenians stared back with wariness, clutching their welding hammers, farmers' sickles, and despaired blades.

Kara spoke to them “I have not come here to conquer. Krypton has never had any interest in taking your land or harming your people. That was Lionel’s wish, and although my father stopped him, another Luthor took his place. His son wanted to exert the same evil”

The priest took a furious step her way, with the knife jolting in his hand “You dare speak of a man you murdered unjustly, whilst your status was not one of Queen. Your judgment held no ground”

A flicker of shame stretched over her skin. But Lena had told her she was not a monster. Whatever this minuscule man thought didn’t matter.

“Is that any different than what you hope to achieve today? To cast a sentence that doesn’t belong to you” Kara saw the brief shadow of fear in his eye, recognizing the mistake in his wording “Lex Luthor invaded my kingdom and killed my kin, and for that, I raised my sword against him. What has Lena Luthor done for you to seek the same?”

He gaped and his snake-like tongue prepared to sprout more lies. Kara didn’t allow him the chance, rather speaking to the crowd around them. Stone-faced kids, cautious mothers, and fathers with fisted hands.

“Has she committed evil acts against you? Has she raided your homes? Punished your disapproving calumnies of her reign? Let you starve in winter?” the hostility dissipated with each question she let out “has she plucked out your boys and girls from their homes and sent them to die in a senseless war?”

Kara had told Lena once, laying on green pasture, that she’d held Umbra with such contempt as a child that she’d wished to slaughter everyone within it. But now she spotted the same devastating hurt on these faces as she had on Krypton. The pain of remembering somebody that’s gone.

“I do not expect you to trust me, but I believe that you can rest your faith on the person that has protected you. The person facing you all right here, unwilling to harm you despite your aggressions, because you’re her people”

The invitation rested over the packed street for the consideration of the folk. Kara had the urge to look back at Lena but she couldn’t, so she stood still and tried not to asphyxiate with the dense expectation developing inside her.

At last, it was Eoin who spoke first “You have a wicked tongue, but we won’t submit to you! We-“

The first clank startled them both, though she managed to avoid a bigger reaction than the surprise on her face. He, on the other hand, jumped like a spooked cat and hurled his body around. The first acolyte was already kneeling, but his figure didn’t remain lonely for long, quickly the rest followed suit.

The off-key song of more weapons clattering against the stone road was beautiful and Kara exhaled in a rush of relief. Vastly different was the response of the priest, as he turned red with shame.

“Cowards, God will punish you for this, it is unforgivable” He shouted in a choleric outburst. His former allies remained silent and on their knees, only one of them spoke.

“The forgiveness we seek out is that of our Queen”

Lena did not hesitate “So you shall have it”

Eoin turned again, gaping at her with a deep scowl “You! You blasted woman!” in his ire he strode forward, dagger in hand.

Kara had little trouble stopping him, merely dodging the blade to cease the affronting hand and maneuver the offending object away. She swung her fist and watched him fall uncontrollably to the ground.

A few years back Kara would’ve done more, now she stepped back to let Lena’s guards take him away. He growled at her rabidly, nose twisted in an ungraceful angle and stained red, as they pulled him back.

"To the dungeons for now. We’ll see what Jess thinks of this later” Lena dismissed.

Soon the men had risen from the ground and moved out of the way, whilst the soldiers gathered the discarded weapons. Kara realized she was still standing there, so she turned and made her way to the Queen.

“Your Grace” She lifted the dagger by the cold steel edge to offer the grip, Lena received it gladly, her green eyes sparkly with gratitude. Kara almost blushed, before clearing her throat and bowing courtly, returning to her horse.

It didn’t go unnoticed, not to the crowd who started with a variety of emotions afloat, and not to Alex, who gave her the sneakiest of teasing smirks as they resumed their route. Nia on her part, snorted with a total disregard for subtlety.

“What?” Kara asked.

“I think you just earned yourselves a couple of admirers back there”

“Oh shut it”

“I’m serious, I saw a few girls ready to drop their knickers” Nia said with a faux gasp at the end.

Alex’s nose wrinkled “Could you not, thank you”

They crossed the city with ease, almost as if nothing had interfered in the first place. Kara felt the slightest lifting of the weight on her shoulders, but as soon as she came to realize she slid it back up. The deed was not done, in fact, she could win today and still have it all lost in a few months or years.

“ _Kao kulahn vrreiahv, ie?”_ it was dumb to ask now, they had it all planned already. If things got unpleasant Alex had a duty, and that duty was aided by the bow stashed on the royal platform, as well as Kelly on an inconspicuous wagon to grant them a concealed flee.

It was all set, but her spine grew cold the more they advanced.

“ _Veun, Lena voi krep rregrhahs_ ” Alex reassured. It was fine, the Queen would be safe with the measures they had taken, even if the people didn’t enjoy the outcome of the duel.

Nobody would touch a single hair on her head. Alex wouldn’t let it happen, and certainly, Kara herself would bring misery to whoever tried. 

With an hour delay, they marched past the city gate and unto the large open land that had been repurposed as an arena for the games. Moira Queen had put an impressive amount of effort into it.

The bounteous watch boxes for the nobles dressed with silky banners, stood grandly but empty. Far different was the surrounding area for the common citizens, those here gathered by the hundreds and waited for the spectacle with far more interest than the Lords and Ladies of the court.

To her surprise, their arrival was met with what appeared as genuine enthusiasm. She heard Lena’s name echo within the people and for every doubtful face, ten others were cheery.

Nia said with a tiny scoff of amusement “the traditionalist are the ones out to get her. Lena’s too humble to admit how respected she actually is”

“How about me?” Kara hoped to hear some prophetic confirmation that they’d be alright, even now.

“We will see” was all she got.

The unease crept up all over her and she could not smack it off. It stayed once they were hidden inside their tent, with Alex’s dexterous fingers working on attaching her armor. Across the room Oliver Queen’s sister did the same for him, the steel was enameled opaque green and embellished with an indented arrowhead on the breastplate.

Kara would’ve liked the comfort of her own suit armor, the last gift from Astra secretly held for her coronation, one she’d barely gotten to use. The polished cobalt of it neared black and had been adorned with golden lining, branded on the shoulder pieces with the vibrant red El crest, and regrettably left back on Argo.

But it was unlikely that she could’ve traveled across Umbra with it and remained unnoticed. When leaving she hadn’t intended to get herself into a duel with Lena’s reluctant husband-to-be.

Therefore the polished steel Alex strapped her into was a borrowed ensemble provided by one of Umbra’s captains. Rose had a laugh that proved contagious and trusting brown eyes, but most importantly, a similar enough built to her.

When Lena entered the tent with Adrik at her back, Kara felt most of her wallowing die at the sight of her. She hadn’t been able to touch her since morning, nor look at her in the way she desired to. Although that had only meant a few hours, her heart still skipped a beat.

The Queen headed straight for her and put her arms around Kara despite the hard metal between them. She planted her heavy gauntlet-clad hand on the small of the woman’s back and allowed herself the comfort of burrowing in the scent of black hair, warm from the sun and soft as a feather.

“Hello, my love” she said and felt Lena sigh contently before drawing back.

“Hello there, my _zygai_ ” it was tender and humorous, and Kara barely resisted the urge of lifting her off the ground and taking her elsewhere.

Yes, I'm your warrior, Kara almost said proudly. 

“Hi. I am also here, but feel free to ignore me” Alex spoke, still busy attaching the left pauldron.

Lena laughed at the same time Kara groaned, and touched the redhead’s back affectionately. Then, with that same hand, cupped the blonde’s cheek.

“Thank you, for what you said”

Kara responded in a hush “I spoke only the truth”

Lena rewarded her sincerity with a swift touch of puckered lips, left her craving for more. But their time was running out and if Kara wanted more, she must earn it all back.

“Are you sure you still want to do this?”

She snatched her arm from a protesting Alex, holding the back of Lena’s neck with the last inches of bareness of her hand, and held her gaze steady “I’d fight a thousand battles for you if I had to. I’m never letting go of you again, I learned my lesson. The hard way”

“Alright,” Lena said with both relief and worry renewed “Kara, whatever happens, I’ve chosen you already. No matter if they don’t agree. I chose you, always”

The admission led to a moment of content silence and Kara smiled her whole way through it. Quickly that sliver of peace was lost, as a dozen trumpeters cried out to poke at them with impatience.

“Your Majesty” Adrik called in an unneeded remainder.

Kara dropped her hand and her sister raced to cover it with steel. Alex admired her work and tapped the metal with a smile.

“Don’t lose”

“I won’t” Kara promised and then embraced her as closely as she could.

Alex whispered in her ear “I’ll keep her safe”

Her nod was full of gratitude but she expressed it out loud anyway “Thank you, sister” 

When Alex released her, Lena took her place in a flash. It made her chuckle a little, but she was quieted fast by the hungry kiss immediately delivered. Lena made it a clash of harsh teeth and wet sliding tongue. Absolutely improper. And yet Kara answered with as much intention, despite the eyes on them. 

“I love you” Lena said after, with slick lips and glassy eyes.

“I love you too, _zhao_ ” Kara said in turn, with her whole chest.

With that said, they reluctantly detached from each other. Lena exited the tent with one last longing glance, Alex and Adrik flanked her protectively on the way out and Kara felt better.

Thea Queen passed her a moment later and when she turned her head Oliver was beside her. The light golden fuzz dusting his jaw managed to soften him a little, but he still exuded the air of an unruly lion.

“I’ve never fought a Kryptonian before. Maybe you can give me a chance to do it right, later” his voice was unresentful, calm.

Kara disrupted it “You have your chance today”

He turned “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I don’t need you to squish your pride and let me win. We’re doing this the way is supposed to be done”

“Are you sure?”

“Unless you’re afraid” She stared up at him, raised a brow.

Olive Queen smiled with incredulity and mirth. “If you will it so, Your Grace”

…

The hooting was incessant, a maddening roar that clustered her ears as soon as she set foot on the grey sand. Oliver walked ahead, his stride much more confident. Kara was sure that if it came to it, he’d lose regardless of what she had told him. That she could not allow.

Once they stood in the middle ground the trumpets blew again and the crowd complied into silence. Ten yards away the nobles sat with blank faces, all resolute in their decision to display their discontentment.

Kara fixed her eyes on the taller center platform. There Lena rested on her chair, the crown on her head shimmered even in the pale sun and her spine was awfully stiff. To her left Moira and Thea had taken their places, the green banner of their house laid over the box. In the right, Nia had settled with the celeste banner of Naltor to commemorate her presence as well.

Alex had been granted the closest seat to the Lena, even now her body was slightly aligned in preparation to protect her. It came as a surprise to Kara that another silk flag had been added in the few minutes since she’d last ran through them. Krypton’s scarlet sun was stark over the deep blue, the red eye of Rao watching over her. Most likely the work of a sleepless costumier at the request of a certain someone with great influence.

Adrik Cossel spoke on the behest of the Queen, his voice thunderous and severe “We gather here to serve as witnesses of a dispute between two whom have agreed at a challenge. Kara Zor-El, Queen of Krypton has propositioned a duel for the right of courtship of Her Majesty, Lena Luthor, legitimate heir to the ancient blood of Umbra. Oliver Queen, Heir of the Starling, has by his own volition accepted to the rite”

A string of whistling followed the announcement and clarified the heavy favoritism of the people.

“If the Crown believes that one of them is unfit to partake the motive may be expressed now”

Kara guessed that any other Royal could’ve posed an objection, but given Lena was the only member of her family that remained alive and not absented, her say was all that mattered.

“The Crown remains unopposed” Lena confirmed.

“Then let the divine hand guide their chosen’s sword” the subtly undefined religious approach brought the smallest of smirks to her lips. Adrik was devoted to the Truzhe flame and, in Umbra’s eyes, a pagan. No different than Kara’s avow to Rao or Nia’s faith in her sea-gods “you may arm yourselves”

They walked into different directions, fifteen yards from each other. Rose awaited her with a supporting demeanor, more content than Kara felt.

“It fits you” 

“That it does,” she said and reached for the helmet, with Y-shaped slit wide enough to exposed her from the eyes to the chin, a perfect spot for a blade to target. With a quick glance, she confirmed that Oliver was wearing a full helm, covering his entire face.

Kara had chosen to compromise her protection in favor of her vision. Her shield was lighter as well, a preference that could hopefully be advantageous enough to balance out the risk.

Rose lifted the scabbard in a quiet offering. She gripped the hilt and closed her eyes, took a few seconds to ask Rao for strength. Wisdom, from her father, somewhere among the stars. Then she pulled by the hilt and the steel came out with a low hiss.

“Fight to yield or disarm. May the best champion win” Were Adrik’s last words, and then a single trumpet sang a lonely note.

The fifteen yard shortened fast once they bulled forward. Kara dared to swing first that he shoved aside with the surface of his shield, then returned the attack with a jab of his sword. It sent her scurrying to the left.

He followed her with large diagonal slash that skimmed her in the chest. Kara backtracked a few steps, around them the folk chanted for the green knight. It brought up an irritation that she couldn’t afford to feel.

Oliver came for her next, trusting ahead with his blade, Kara let it slide ineffectively over her shield and closed in to deliver a hit. She cached him on the side, with enough force to make the metal clank and scratch off some of the green tint.

It evoked a swift response, coming in the form of a brusque push that pushed her adrift on her heels. Three stuttering steps back with Oliver in chase and Kara felt her heart pounding. When he slashed at her brutally from above, Kara interposed it with her own and in the brief moment of the binding, sent her foot forward.

The kick to his shin was enough of a distraction for her to sidestep and send another hit, that laid inoffensively over his shoulder. Then she aimed high for the back of his head, hoping a good shot to the head would stagger him.

But Oliver hurled around with his shield on the lead, it bumped into her wrist hard enough to make it tingle painfully. He didn’t stop and although she tried to step away from the danger, his reach was far greater.

Kara tried to redirect the blow with her sword but it only worked partially. Although not fully, the blade still got it’s cut. She lounged back and then felt it, the scorching heat on the side of her neck and the wet dribble that swept into the crevice of the armor and wet the mail and clothe underlying.

There was a collective gasp from their audience.

Her pained groaning was unavoidable but she remained firm, she’d had a dagger through her hand before. This was all but a scratch. Oliver had paused, vexed by the injury.

“Is that all you’ve got, Queen?” she taunted.

…

Lena’s knuckles were white with the strain, her fingers a set of claws that held her to the chair. If she let go she’d be on her feet and running. Naively she had forgotten what watching Kara bleed was like. The agony of it. The absolute desperation to stop it.

Alex had shot to her feet when it had happened, uncaring about appearances. Not that anyone was looking anywhere else than ahead. “She’s alright” The Kryptonian assured her in a low voice “it’s just a cut”

Her head moved up and down absently. Kara had not stopped more than a second, she was light on her feet still and her face contorted more in effort than pain.

That didn’t mean Lena was not worried. She could see very little apart from the smear of red, just atop the mail, where a full helm would’ve guarded her. “I don’t get it, this- they shouldn’t”

“My sister has never faked a fight in her life, Lena”

She bit her tongue in irritation to cut out her crass response, but thought it anyway. _Maybe she should._ Kara had never promised such a thing, but Lena had expected it.

Oliver had come once more to loom over the blonde. She had never been particularly intimidated by him, but right then he was a hull of wretched metal. The spades collided over and over, Lena wanted to flinch every time.

Kara lifted her shield to block an enraged blow and the hollow wood cracked. Lena trembled in her seat and Alex moved closer to her in a show of support. It provided little help, as the Kryptonian below shook the useless shield away and brought her second hand to the sword.

The adversary stood still at the sight and the crowd screamed its displeasure. Kara said something that never made it to Lena’s ears, but that broke Oliver’s hesitation. There was barely a chance to blink before they began striking again.

Lena could hardly keep up with the attacks, despite her lack of defensive gear Kara marked the pace, faster now that she’d dropped some weight. The blonde advanced with a merciless string of slashes and thrusts, from her seat she could practically taste the angry defiance.

The heir of Starling didn’t look as tall anymore, as Kara banged his shield to splinters. Umbra had sensed the shift as well, murmuring with incredibility as they watched him backtrack.

“ _ile kehp zhehd_ ” Alex murmured beside her.

Yes, Lena thought wishfully, she has him. “Come on, _zhao_ ”

As if she had heard, Kara deflected Oliver’s next attack and in a blur of movement brought her longsword down onto his left forearm, producing a high screech. The impact was no doubt enough to sever an arm, but thanks to the armor Oliver only lost his grip on the shield.

Kara gave him no respite, pushing away the blade that aimed for her chest and kicking him in the thigh. He took a tumble and landed on his knee and Kara raised the sword over her head.

“Lena, stop this” Moira pleaded from her chair “Stop it now”

The woman’s eyes were beseeching and yet, Lena had little to say. She opened her mouth only to shut it again when a loud roar came from the yard. Her head snapped back just in time to watch Oliver spring up, picking up Kara by the thighs and setting a steady course for them both to the ground.

…

Kara only had a fraction of a second to avoid being slammed on her back. She sifted as much of her weight whilst pulling on Oliver. They landed on their sides, the plates of metal ranged like a thunderstorm.

Her shoulder ached painfully at the landing but fortunately, the bones remained whole. Without a thought she sought the sword she was now missing, Oliver stopped her, unarmed as well. She swung a rogue fist at him and soon they were tied in a scuffle, spinning around over the sand.

She felt the pummeling on her ribs, her face, and her chest. Blood pooled on her tongue and still she struck in turn, until her knuckles went numb. But he was bigger and soon climbing over her, Kara reached blindly to dig her hand into the soft ground and found nothing.

Oliver launched a fist down and she eluded him, letting it land beside her head. Kara rolled against the outstretched limb and had him lose his support. Unbalanced he flung onto his back, she elbowed him in the face for good measure before rising up.

Kara scoffed once she spotted her damned weapon not over a feet away. She picked it up and watched Oliver still on the ground, he’d taken the helm off and his nose was dripping red.

 _He’s going to yeild_ , she reasoned.

“Get up, Queen” She could tell he wasn’t done. They were both beyond exhausted and battered, but not done. Kara clawed off the molded metal off her head, setting her sword on guard again “you gave me a scar. Don’t back out now”

Only a grumble later he was up again, six feet of bulk, three feet of sharpened blade, and eyes made frosty pits. Most of the bets in town had him pick as the winner and she could see why.

But Kara had kept up with Astra In-Ze in her best fighting days. Kara had stopped three dozen men before Argo had discovered her bloody mid-town. Kara had Lena’s love still fresh on her ear. There was no defeating her now.

Oliver charged at her with a renewed resolution, barreled her with three looping cuts that she deflected as they rounded the yard. The chanting reassumed inebriated, a thousand unintelligible shouts.

When Oliver leaped forward in a bold attempt to mangle her, Kara moved just an inch, and the metal around her shoulder shirked with the amiss shot. Her retaliation was a short arch that resulting from a light wrist flick, despite his dodging, he received to the face.

The skin split under the point of her blade, a trajectory that left an ugly cut just over the left brow and trailed in a diagonal up to his hairline. He winced, more in anger than hurt and drop on her a blow so violent the bones inside her arms vibrated to stop it.

When Oliver tried to twist the pommel into her face she had to wrench her head back, the gash on her neck burned and she could only groan. Another second and a big swirl of the blade pushed her back, too close to her nose.

Then, at last, Kara found a crack. Oliver swung down and Kara let it zip past her, into the brittle sand. She laid all her momentum onto a cut to his hand and watched his fingers writhe, giving in with the impact and let go of the weapon.

She put the tip of her blade at his throat and waited. Oliver stared, impassive apart from the heavy breathing.

“I yield” he said, bitter and yet knowingly solaced.

 _Thank Rao,_ Kara thought as she let her arm fall. _A few more minutes and we’d kill each other out of contest_.

Vaguely she came to the realization that they hadn’t been swarmed by an angry mob. She found herself gawked at by everyone, eyes that roamed her like a full anthill over her body.

Oliver extended a hand and Kara went awkwardly for a shake, only to have him fling her arm up towards the sky. It took a moment, to shake out the bafflement, but then there was a wave of cheering and clapping if ever so reluctant. 

When the roaring ceased suddenly, Kara was forced to look back at the platform. Lena had stood up from her seat, hands neatly joined at her front.

Adrik spoke, “Has this victor proved deserving in the eyes of the Crown, Your Grace?”

“Yes, she has” Lena’s lips curled up for a second. Just for her. “I hereby accept Kara Zor-El’s proposal”

...

In the end, there had been no trampling or stoning of any kind. Lena had spoken with an unyielding will and not a single soul had it questioned. Oliver clapped her in the back in a celebratory gesture, and perhaps that sign of amicability was convincing enough to inspire some acceptance.

Kara’s dumbfounded state broke and after a court bow, she retreated with Oliver beside her. Along the way she grappled with the surprise of hearing her name in passing, she managed to nod her recognition once or twice at the fuzzy wall of faces. It was not a chant, but it was a greeting of sorts and enough for now.

When they entered the tent again, Kara let out a deep sigh. In a moment though, that action was reversed into a sharp exhale when a figure launched themselves in their direction. Before she could ready for defense, Oliver slipped past her and intercepted the heavy tackle.

Kara moved aside and stared until recognition struck her. She relaxed and stepped back from the embracing couple. Felicity looked amusingly small pressed against the hunky built of her armored beloved, yet she held onto him with a ferocity Kara found familiar.

Furthermore, he smiled. Not in the mildly obligated cordiality usual to him, but with a softness that almost seemed unbecoming for his severity. Evidently, despite the outcome of their fight, Oliver Queen hadn’t lost.

With a hushed chuckle, she drifted to the right and let them have their moment. Her chest rattled a bit, as she undid the hold of her gauntlets, with the wish of having Lena come to her as well. But the Queen could not just walk away from a tourney made in her honor.

“Well, that was indeed an exquisite spectacle” Nia Nal’s voice startled her only slightly “not that I expected you to be any less dramatic”

“What are you doing here?” Kara dogged the attempt at lightheartedness “is Lena…”

“She’s fine, calm down. There’s very little chance of a rebellion now, hear that?” a roar of increasing excitement broke out “You can always count on a good jousting match to merry out people”

Kara didn’t let that offer her much shelter, it was entirely plausible that some other difficulty would rise up.

“I’m here to escort you back to the palace”

“I’m not leaving”

Nia scoffed “Kara, you’re bleeding. We have to take you to a healer”

“It’s nothing” she argued, even as the wound throbbed in disagreement.

“Tough luck, Lena ordered me to take you back”

That statement derailed her just a little, but she pressed “She’s not your Queen”

“You really want to defy her? She’s already pretty pissed that you got hurt on an arranged duel” 

That took her back, she wasn’t quite sure that Lena had ever been mad at her. Not really, anyway. There was no eagerness within her to figure out how that would go.

“Alex and Adrik will stay with her. It’ll just be a few hours”

Kara went as instructed by a force far greater than her, that meaning her _zhao_. But Rao had conceived her a stubborn woman and so, much to Nia’s irritation, she urged the healing with every intention to get back to the tourney.

She strutted down the hallways, haphazardly dressed and with a bandaged neck. Then she turned a corner and made her boots squeak with an abrupt stop.

“Where are you going?” Lena gave her the most severe of looks.

Kara gaped “I’m… going back for you?”

“It’s going to be hard to spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn’t listen” there was bemuse there and still it made her coward a little.

“I’m sorry”

No dueling took root anyway, as Lena guided her back inside with a gentle hold of her hand.

“Did you even let them clean that?” Lena asked once she’d closed the door of her quarters and carefully edged her fingers over the dressings.

Kara nodded “I did. Nia held me down”

“Very good” the Queen took a hold of her chin “why must you scare me like that, huh?” A sentence that somber had no right to carry so much affection as well, nor to render her speechless “You can’t leave me now, Kara”

“I wouldn’t. I won’t” She swore. It had been a harmless fight, one with the certainty of survival, but she promised it regardless.

Lena’s green eyes speared her in the chest when she talked “Tell your God he can’t have you, that he can’t take you from me” 

“I’ll tell him” and she would, every day she’d challenge an immortal just for Lena “I belong with you. And you with me. Your pinned God can’t take you either”

“oh, I’d like to see him try” the darkness on her voice was the loveliest forswearing Kara had heard.

It was enough for her to seek Lena’s mouth, despite the iron taste on her lips and the complaint of her neck as she angled it down. It was a thousand times worth it.

“The rest of your life, then?” Kara panted, echoing the brunette’s recent words, and dragged a hand to the hidden thing on the folds of her pants.

Lena was still preoccupied with kissing her and cooed sadly when she found no compliance. Until Kara pushed forward her open palm to offer up everything she had to give. Her house, her family, her body and soul. Herself.

“Kara” Lena said and visibly shuddered at the sight of the golden bracelet. She’d known, both of them had known what came next. It didn’t make the actual act any less wondrous.

She was compelled to kneel. A sweet surrender for the gazing muse above her.

“I wish to pledge myself to you, Lena. In the eyes of gods and mortals, I shall be yours if you’ll have me. For whatever may come, I chose to be by your side” She made no effort to obscure the tremor of her hands, for Lena there were no lies “You’ve been half my heart since I met you. So I am asking you now to unite yours with mine, forever”

Kara had thought herself a ruin for so long it had managed to push her into a refusal of this very aspiration. Here, under an emerald gaze, she realized she was not that.

Sure, her foundation might be eroded and her stones askew but she was a temple. Sturdy enough, worthy enough, to become Lena’s home.

“Lena Luthor, will you take me as your wife?”

There wasn’t a long wait, merely a teary response as Lena pulled her up “Yes, Kara. of course, I will, : _dho”_

Once, before being torn apart, she’d tried to raise her father’s sword. Had Alura been present the reprimands would’ve extended eternally.

But they were alone then, unsupervised and giggling. She’d haphazardly held the hilt and felt a hero, even with the tip still resting on the floor. At that moment, she’d told him that she’d find adventure and glory. He had laughed at the young innocence and cradled her.

Kara had known very little of the world then. Her notions were those of an untainted childhood, with the hardships yet to come. Many suns had passed and although she wasn’t half as wise as she wished yet, her understanding had broadened.

Glory was not filed down steel. True glory was Lena, with a smile prettier than diamonds and a wrist clad in gold. It was the promise of their life together.

“I’m going to have to get you one too” Lena said, overjoyed and teary “and a ring as well”

“We’ve got time” Kara replied “plenty” 


	18. III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A happy ending for my sweet gay babies. Beware, there's a bit of smut in this and I've always been bad at it, so you can always skip over it.

She had walked for miles down the same barely-there dusty road. The afternoon had been inundated with heavy heat that left her thirsting, forced her to drink her scarce supply of water dry. Now the sun was setting and she had no idea how distant her destination was, it could be a few hours or a few days.

Perhaps it was the hunger, the exhaustion, and that godawful pressure over her eyes that made her stop. In the middle of nowhere, she leaned over with her hands on her knees and felt like crying. A stupid act that could get her killed. There was no stopping or resting, there was only looking over her shoulder while pushing ahead.

But she was so tired of it all. In her head, there was a shouting match between survival and surrender. Endure hell to maybe come out somewhat whole, or lay under the nearest tree and die. As part of some sort of divine signal, her mouth filled with spit and her stomach lurched.

 _So death then, got it_. She thought, with her body trying to heave out a non-existent meal. It hurt, bad enough that she was distracted from her one fundamental task. Only a minute had she left her guard down for what felt like an instant and now she was flanked by mounted figures.

She stayed hunched over with her sight fixed on the ground, a conversation happened above her, beyond her understanding, ears only catching the melodic rhythm of its recital. With a sigh she crumbled into the dirt. At least this would be faster than slowly starving out in the hot sun.

“Are you alright, girl?” someone crouched in front of her.

The question was kind and unreserved, it dared her to look. The man before her was not whom she had feared to come across. His nose was larger and his eyes, instead of two dead stones, were clear blue.

She could not devise a lie, just drop her chin to her chest. Her lack of response didn’t phase him in the least. When a waterskin was shoved suggestively in her line of sight her throat throbbed.

“Take it, we have more than enough” the man offered.

Necessity beat her wariness and the wonderful sensation of fresh liquid down her gullet was reward enough to afford the weakness of her concession.

“Forgive any assumptions but I think our paths are the same. Maybe you’d consider joining us. Between you and me, my current company has been atrociously boring” The comment ensued some faux complaints from the others.

She went, because what other choice was there?

Their party is made up of four. The kind man leading them, another two young men that maintain a witty banter and a woman that makes room for her on the saddle of her mottled animal. All armed and clearly wealthy.

The woman is, out of all of them, the most vexing. A maroon hood is draped over her head and although it doesn’t obscure most of her features, it makes her look ominous.

Yet, she is not hostile. When she slots behind her on the horse with practiced ease, a strong hand trips over her belly in search for the reigns. The touch of the stranger frightens her, but after shaking the surprise, all the woman does is rest her hand warmly there a moment with empathetic understanding.

They ride until the sun sets and the dark takes over the road. Her distrust is sufficiently pacified by the time the offer of setting camp for the night comes. Since abandoning the capital she has spent her fair share of evenings without a roof. Cold, hungry, and lonely.

That experience vastly differs from this one, sitting around the fire and nibbling down still fresh bread, fat mushrooms, and salt-curated pork.

“How long have you been afoot?” one of the strangers asked. He looked the youngest, not over fifteen. Although already showing the shape of an adult.

“Two days”

Over a month, should’ve been the honest answer. Though it seemed just like yesterday when she was banging on that red door.

Any sympathy Irene had towards for her disappeared once the cat was out of the bag, nails ready to scratch. She couldn’t work at the house with what she carried now. She hadn’t either on the many towns crossed, even if a coin or two would’ve fed them.

“Heading to Old River?” She nodded. Another lie, her errant legs had no destiny planned. The boy smiled “They have a great lamb pie. We stayed there a few weeks ago”

The kind man, whom she assumed now to be the boy’s father spoke “Does your family wait there for your arrival?”

“Yes” another fallacy. But she couldn’t say the alternative _. No, noble sir,_ _my father was a drunken twat and my mother hang herself in our barn, and after the orphanage took me they sold me to the highest bidder so I wish they both burn in hell_. She couldn’t say any of that “My sister and her family”

“A blessing. Roaming these parts alone is dangerous” He said, pulling a knife out of his belt. That and the wording made her tremble until he showed another item out. A wooden carving of a horse. “it's for my daughter. She’s just turned one a couple months ago and is in love with horses, squeals every time she sees one”

“Maybe too young to start riding” She said.

He chuckled, trimming away the dark wood “Yes, my wife says the same. But one has to find ways to satisfy the children” His voice was tender with affection.

The sentence strucked her in the face and she almost pressed her hands to her middle. “Have you many?”

“Just my girl and not for lack of trying. But she’s mighty already, maybe i have been given as much as I can handle” His pride and devotion was evident.

She wasn’t sure she’d met a man that committed to their family. Then again, men didn’t didn’t come looking for her to honor their wives.

They slept, except for the hooded woman, who offered to take watch. When she woke again the fire had dwindled to orange embers. The foggy cold air of the morning hurt to breathe, even under the covers given to her.

Hearing a slight rustling of leaves she sat up. The woman was already glaring at her, her hood was finally down. Her features were sharp with sternness and some white shined among a brown main, though she was not old.

“How far along?”

She was honest this time “Two months. Maybe more”

“The father?” The woman tilted her head to find her gaze.

“Dead” back to the lies she went.

There was an awkward pause before the woman voiced another inquiry “Have you thought of a name?”

She bit her lip. It didn’t really matter if she said anything, her decision would probably change in the future “Samuel for a boy, maybe. And if it's a girl…Elena”

Another pause. Albeit a shorter one.

“You’re young to be a mother”

“I’ve met younger” it was true, fourteen-year-olds breastfeeding creatures already.

The woman circled her then and sat beside her, watching the smoke lifting from the charred spot on the ground. “My sister tried very hard to become a mother, she’d wanted it since we were little. Her first was a boy. But the baby didn’t survive more than a few hours”

A huge knot formed in her throat at the thought, made out of fear and torturing grief that wasn’t hers. But she could imagine it and she could see it on this stranger’s face.

“My niece came to this world four years later and she wouldn’t leave her side. Even now my sister loves her with fear of it being taken away” 

“Good mothers often do” _I should know, mine didn’t give a horse’s ass about me._

The woman pursed her lips in thought, then looked at her “You fear for your child, I can see it. But you said you’re going home to your sister. Why are you scared then?”

It all rested on the tip of her tongue, every tragic detail that had led her here. But she swallowed down. By now there was probably a ransom on her head and whatever she said could get her caught or killed.

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand” she spat, angry at the world “what could you nobles know of fear, while we starve you feast”

She said it high enough for the bodies around them to stir. One long scowl later and the woman was up and moving on, indifferent once again. 

Old River turned out to be only a few hours away, they reached it by mid-day without obstacles. At the insistence of the young boy, she was dragged along to the supposedly renowned tavern with the delectable lamb pie.

It was indeed a miracle that such a meal would be found in a musky place with moldy floors. The men talked away while she chewed down her food.

“When we get back your mother is going to be mad beyond reason”

“Not if you don’t tell her. I’m old enough to drink anyway and Lex said his father didn’t care if we took a bottle”

“Just because you’ve fallen in love with Alexander in a matter of days, doesn’t mean everything he says is true, Clark”

Her spine went rigid at the name. She knew plenty of Alexanders, but only one Lex. Only one that this fancy people could be referring to.

“Uncle! I’m not in love with him, we’re friends! You said we should try to get along”

“I didn’t mean you should be stealing wine from his father, it doesn’t help our trading if you’re disrespecting him”

Fuck, for all she knew these people were friends with the very man that wanted her dead. Merely being seated with them was a great way to see herself beheaded.

From across the table, the tall woman frowned, aware of the sudden change in her mood. Mustering all her courage she forced to stay calm and not bolt out the door. The pie revolted her now, so she set it aside and waited.

Fortunately, their travel together had come to an end.

“So you won’t allow us to see you home?” The kind man asked as he righted his mount.

Her blood chilled at the idea “No, good sir, I owe you enough as it is”

When he moved closer to her she fought the instinct to recoil “Nonsense. Here” a satchel was put on hands “some food and coin”

“Sir, I can’t- I really can’t” she stuttered, dismayed at the gesture.

“Consider it payment for the good company”

“But-“

He put a hand on her shoulder and spoke lower “This is the least I can do. I would ask you to come with us but I figured you wouldn’t take my offer”

“Thank you” She said, after a span of disbelieving silence.

“Perhaps, if we see each other again you can return the favor. My Kara needs friends her age and a two-year difference is no hindrance between children”

He knows. What a fool has she been, he knew all along. The kind man patted her in a fatherly manner and it was so unfamiliar to her that her hairs raised. With that, he returned to his animal and climbed into the saddle like the others.

One of the company's members remained on the ground. The woman had put the hood back over her head and with her stature she looked like death itself, as she came to her.

A pair of mittens was shoved into her palms. Tiny ones, of beautifully stitched up silk that were softer than bunny fur “My niece has a dozen already, I’ll find her another gift from this travel. Keep them or sell them, whatever suits you best”

The woman sighed contemplatively before shedding her coat and handing it over as well. It was heavy and stuffed with more objects, the most distinguishable by touch a knife. Stormy eyes stared at her deeply with a sentiment that she mirrored but was unable to put into words.

“Astra” The kind man hurried, amused “Don’t suffocate the girl, please”

"Take care of yourself...and your little one" with that last sentence the woman turned away from her.

She was given little time to think of a response, whether to protest or not, as the stranger stepped away and into her stirrups. One goodbye later and the party marched away from Old River. Astra’s head turned slightly, her profile a picture of solemnity, but her blue eyes a blaze, like she wanted to turn around.

She didn’t. But Kieran, for some strange reason, wished she had.

“Alone again” She muttered. Absently, she brought a hand to her belly “Just you and me” for now, it was a must. But she couldn’t help but think about how nice it had been to have someone around. 

_Go after them_ , a part of her said. Asking her to go chase the woman with the white streak and tell her she was right, that she's afraid but not so much around her. _Tell her you wish to meet her niece and have her teach your baby how to laugh._

It was a ridiculous thought, one that she shook off quickly as her legs took her elsewhere.

…

Lena knew the sea only as described in books or painted on a canvas. There had never been time or opportunity for her to explore anything outside of Umbra.

It’s was an unending field of jade wriggling water that looks like a living creature. She half expected the sleeping blue giant to wake as they ride above its skin.

Being amidst it she rapidly gains a better understanding of Nia’s worship. It’s beautiful and strange and dizzying. Very dizzying, in fact.

“How are you not- Oh God” a consecutive wave of nausea made her babble against Kara’s clavicle.

“You’ll get used to it”

“In how long” she whined childishly, something she only allowed around her betrothed.

“It…depends,” Kara said, carefully stroking her hair “But this is the fastest ship I’ve ever been on, we’ll reach land before you know it”

“This whole thing sucks” the complaint was met with a snort. Lena felt the warm body trying to separate and she clung harder.

“Does it? Are you changing your mind?” Kara said it low and teasing.

“No” She ran her nose over Kara’s soft flesh “no, never”

She truly didn’t, despite her incessant nausea. Which, although horrendous, vanished by the second day. The solution provided by Kara’s constant touch and Nia’s magical remedies of old.

Once her stomach settled the rest of the trip was more or less a joy. The days she spent watching Kelly and Alex banter, speaking of nothing and everything with Alura and scolding Nia for jumping overboard when dared by James and Lucy.

Better yet were the nights, dining to candlelight and hearing Kara and Alex sing over the crash of the water. And walking into bed late, letting Kara’s breathing lure her to sleep with the aid of the ocean's lullaby.

When they anchored at the port nostalgia brewed inside her at the peaceof it. Though there was no need to miss a voyage they’d have to repeat, so it left her fast. 

“Welcome to the Beak, my friends,” Nia said as they lowered to land “Otherwise known as the pearl of The Meridiem Sea” 

The name was fitting, Naltor’s capital was a city of whitewashed structures, blinding under the unforgiving sun. Eagle’s Beak was its crown, a steep climb that lifted the great fortress of the Nal family to the skies. There it sat, a shining white agate adorned with the blue of the Kingdom’s banner.

Its grandeur was just as perceptible inside. She had read about the long halls erected from salt rock so old and strong it could shatter steel, but the sigh of it was much more impressive.

King Paul was as amicable as his daughter and treated them to wash off the salt of their skin and lay their tired spines on fluffy seats. Then after the proper rest to a filling dinner of crab, oysters, and fragrant wine.

They talked about The Concordant. Despite it being more of a pretext for their travel, and its hidden motive, the confederacy of the Kingdoms was very much in the forge.

Six seats of power on alliance of law was ambitious, dangerous even. They had already flipped the world on its axis by bridging Krypton and Umbra. So why stop? She had proposed and Kara, sweet brave Kara, had told her there were enough history books written of wars and that they would be the ones to write of union.

Sooner than Lena realized night had fallen and when she gazed out of her balcony it stretched out silky over the sea. Kara kissed her shoulder more softly than the briny breeze ruffling her hair. Her heart was so full and warm she feared it could burst at any moment.

“Stay” She begged.

“I cannot” Kara denied her, still bringing her closer "though I'm tempted"

Lena searched blindly behind her until she could fill her hand with golden locks at the base of her skull “You’re Kara Zor-El, you can’t be commanded”

“It is tradition”

“We’ve slept in the same bed a hundred nights already. What does it matter if we do tonight?” Without Kara the bed was cold and lonesome, she had every intention of avoiding it for as long as she lived.

“It will matter tomorrow when you’re my wife. I promise” Kara insisted with her lips on the shell of her ear.

Lena’s knees went weak at the idea but strong arms had her secure “will I ever hear my name from you again, hmm? Once we’re married, or am I to be the wife of Krypton’s darling?” she poked if only to diverge her surfacing wants. If only to hide how good that title fit in her mind.

“Yes. My Lena, my _zhao_ , my wife. My day and night” Kara said “I will call you all of those. You’re everything and so much more”

That made her giggle, years ago those words wouldn’t have made sense. Not as anything other than feverish delusions. Yet they did now. Lena could be loved, against all probabilities. And good god could she could love back, with an all-consuming troth that would never dull.

“Remember when we first met?” She asked, pulling on Kara’s arms to be held tighter.

“ _Zhi_ , my sun. I remember” Krypton’s Queen set her hips aflame with her palms as she squeezed their bodies impossibly together.

“I knew I loved you then, when you dragged me out to dance”

“Did you? So soon?” there was disbelief there that Lena ached to quell.

“I couldn’t take my eyes off you. I was going east to die, but you made me feel so alive with only a look”

“Lena” Kara rasped and it was dangerous. They had waited years but this shorter wait was going to be tormenting anyway. Lena wanted to throw it all to hell honestly, her restraint fragile like glass with Kara so close.

The knocking on her door prevented her from doing so. Alex poked her head in once the lock gave, smirking at them both.

“Come on, sister. Back to your chambers”

“Why must I follow this rule when you don’t” Kara argued, even with the desire she’d shown to keep the Kryptonian custom.

“I am not the Queen of a long lineage and Kelly does not follow the faith. It’ll be a bad omen if _you_ don’t follow the _chahvia enai_ ”

Kara accepted defeat and Lena kissed her thrice before letting go. Within minutes she missed her company and in few hours she found herself sleepless. So she got to reading to ride out the night, like she’d done most her life.

When she finally drifted off, her dreams were plagued with the same creation that had haunted her since infancy. The cabin, the woods, and the screams. Kara had kept it at bay for the last month but she wasn’t there to hold that door now.

So Lena woke bathed in cold fright, her chest hollow and brittle with a tragedy that escaped her memory. She dislodged from the bed with little enthusiasm and even less rest.

Alura’s arrival at her door with an invitation for early tea was somewhat of a savior to her mood. The woman could easily draw smiles from her, a trait her daughter clearly had inherited.

“Rough night?”

Lena sagged in her chair “is it that apparent?”

“No, honey. I merely know firsthand what is like” Alura said “though not as profoundly. Zor-El and I married younger and yet loved each other later than you and Kara do”

She swallowed a mouthful of warm tea before daring to ask “How is she?”

Alura smiled “Impatient, she barely got through her first prayers”

The information doted her with endearment “I suppose we’re alike that way”

“Oh not in the least. How could you ever put up with my daughter if you were short-tempered?” the woman joked.

They laughed and drained their cups in a comforting quiet. Until Alura spoke again, setting down the porcelain to stand.

“Come”

Lena obeyed promptly and startled only minimally when Alura framed her cheeks with careful hands.

“I know I gave you my blessing long ago but there’s no harm in reiterating” Lena felt her emotions rising as she was offered this rare motherly affection “I am so happy to have you as family, Lena. You'll never be alone again because we are stronger together. And know there is nobody more deserving of my Kara’s heart”

As intelligent as she might be this strange phenomenon of Alura being kind to her is confusing. A woman who has lost a husband and a sister to Lena’s bloodline, still embraced her as one of her own children.

“Thank you” it’s the small answer she can give, with her throat made a knot.

The interaction makes her morning take a turn for the better. Even then, when Nia drags her out for a go round the castle Lena glances down the hall to the closed door with longing and nervousness alike.

…

To be far from Lena was, to put it mildly, a grievous experience.

“You’ll have years to be together, Kara” Alex said, bugged by the bouncing of her knee.

Yes, that much she knew. But it did not seem like nearly enough time. “It’s just…strange. I don’t like it”

Alex laughed at her “Look at you, smitten at last. I thought for the longest time your marriage would've to be arranged”

“I could say the same about you” Kara said. She could recall a younger Alex that cycled between total disinterest and brazen bed-hopping. Until Sam and Kelly.

Kara wondered what it must be like, to have two loves of that size inside a ribcage, since she only had one.

“It catches up to us eventually, I guess” Alex murmured, sad in distinctive remembrance. Then she returned to a regular tone “be thankful I decided not to steal your thunder”

That made her smile “I always thought it would be you first”

“I’ll let you get ahead this time”

Alex accompanied her next round of quiet meditation. Easier this time than it had been last night, perhaps due to the tingling warmth of the sun pouring down on them.

At noon Alura brought them food and conversation “Lena is playing chess with King Paul as we speak” her mother informed at her request “quite the match may I add”

“He’s doomed then” Kara chirped “Queens control the board, even I know that” 

Her stress decreased significantly thanks to the food and the knowledge that Lena was enjoying her day. Feeling less on the brink of an outburst she finally pitied her sister.

“Go. Take Kelly out to the city. Lena too, if she’ll let you”

Alex frowned “You want me to leave you alone?”

“Well, is kind of the point of this whole thing right? Me alone with my thoughts and Rao” Kara said, rubbing her tender knees.

Her sister’s hesitation was all but a thin veil that couldn’t hide her hope to see something different than white walls “Are you sure? I don’t mind staying”

“I’m sure”

The reassurance served its purpose and soon her sister departed, although not without a hug.

Abandonment had been a looming creature in the back of her mind with pointy teeth for a long time. But now she could only think of the people waiting for her seclusion in that room to be over. The woman many feet below willing to promise her an eternity together.

She sat on the bed with a happy chuckle at the prospect and the wait suddenly felt appropriate. What was a day compared to the many years to come? Or the infinite stretch of eons once they joined the stars? It was simply a blink.

The realization inspired a calmness inside her that held till the sun fell to slumber and her room was less a prison. At a late hour, she received a gift that relieved her further. The paper was not sealed, merely folded and she recognized the writing instantly.

_My dear beloved, we’ve been apart so long I ought to have accustomed to it by now. But i haven't and I miss you. It escapes me whether this breaks the rules of your tradition and if so, forgive me. But I must tell you that although the white city is a splendor, it’s not comparable to your smile. Know that my thoughts lay with you tonight and that tomorrow cannot come soon enough to have you close again. I love you beyond describing, Kara._

_Yours always, Lena._

She went over the words several times aware that her face was that of a lovefool, but she could not care. With one last read, she set it aside and flopped into bed, unable to contain her gleeful laughter.

The hours sped by with the grace of unconsciousness and when she stirred Alura was watching over her “It’s time, my sweet child”

By mid-day, she was clean and clad in blue velvets trimmed with golden threads, a necklace around her hanging with the El crest over her chest. Alura brushed her hair until it fell soft and shiny on her shoulders.

“Are you nervous?”

Kara looked at Alura’s reflection behind hers in the mirror “I don’t know” there was a funny feeling in her gut she couldn’t name “Were you?”

“Entirely. I didn’t know what kind of man my husband would turn out to be”

That predicament was unfamiliar to her but she smiled “but you were destined. He said it many times over”

“Neither of us knew that the day we were wed” Alura reached to rub the blonde’s shoulder lovingly “I’m glad that you do”

When her rite of solitude concluded, Kara finally stepped out of her chambers. Alex whistled her arrival at the great hall, the palace was quiet as a tomb and it made the sound of their steps all the more robust. As their assigned guide Alex made took them to an adjacent area of the great hall. There they came to an iron gate that exposed the stairs of stone-built eons ago.

Eagle’s Beak was a high rise that dangled the castle over the sea, the carved steps under it a direct path deep down the rock. It allowed for a decent to the beach below, a piece of the isle that remained for the royal family only.

Kara went with firm legs but a thundering heart. At last nervous, for no real reason.

Once at the bottom Alura comforted her with a long embrace and whispered encouragement. Alex looked at her with misty eyes and kissed her on the forehead.

Then, she was alone. For the last time that day. The last time in her life maybe. Taking a big inhale she tried to gather her bearings, feeling a little scattered with the overwhelming anticipation.

Blessedly, she got no time to develop any distracting musings. A loud rumbling sound calls for her, Kara’s chest turned to a war drum in matching melody. She waited for the second tune before heading out the cool shadow and into the sunlit sand.

There was nowhere to look but ahead. Not at the small collection of her family and friends, not at the sea roaring to the left. Ahead, towards the single figure mirroring Kara’s own advance.

Lena walks the shore just as steadfast. She shines under the sun, her dress pure ivory embossed with a rain of woven silver. The black hair picked up elegantly using silk bestowed with diamonds. 

She’s blindingly beautiful and Kara shivers despite the rising heat. The brackish preacher blows the seashell in a dragged out note when they finally met before him. It's so loud that it justifies a startle but Kara was too lost in Lena’s eyes.

Without wait, she reaches out and Lena is there just as fast to hold her hands. The fingers of the woman she loves were cold with nerves, which would scare her if the smile pointed her way was any less bright.

Kara lifted to kiss her knuckles and Lena returns the affection by wiping away a tear she hadn’t even felt dropping.

“All of us here,” the preacher started “have come together today to celebrate the union of two souls. It's a bond that has endured hardships like no other. One that time and distance could not taint or break…”

It’s not a Kryptonian ceremony nor an Umbranian one, that’s what they had agreed upon. In a few months, they will have to do both, for a multitude of smallfolk and nobleman. With their crowns and Kingdom banners. But this, a quiet beach with a handful of people they love, is all they wanted.

Vaguely she heard the recital of words, and they were beautiful but not nearly as much as Lena. The mere effort that took not to seek out more contact was straining, she wished the man would hurry his speech.

Lena apparently had thoughts equally as troublesome but less restrained. The bride reached to rearrange some windswept hair but lingered, cradling her left cheek. Kara indulged in the touch until their attention was required to pronounce the vows.

“Look upon each other and speak the words”

They did so, with their voices overlapped, peering into one another’s eyes with the same love they had held for years.

“I offer myself to you. Without hesitation, to uphold the promise of marriage. I pledge faithfully to love, honor, and cherish you, so long as we shall both live”

“And after still” Lena said in a hush and Kara came dangerously close to shorten the whole thing and bring her into her arms.

“Now you may offer a token to be the embodiment of such promise,” The preacher said humored. Alex stepped ahead to extend their rings and bracelets “Will you, Lena Luthor and Kara Zor-El, take these symbols of love and loyalty and wear them as a representation of this lawful wedlock?”

“I will” Lena said first.

Kara begged to Rao for a firm hand, and it was heard. She slid the ring on Lena’s finger and the bracelet on her wrist, the gold stark on immaculate skin. It was distracting and her beloved had to poke her to get her attention back.

“I will” Kara rushed and heard the giggles of their company. When Lena fixed the bands on her Kara could’ve sworn her whole arm tingled.

“Then, under the sigth of God’s and mortals, you’re committed from this day forth to the bonds of matrimony” The old man finished with a smile. His encouraging gesture was wasted, they were aheadof him.

The words had barely any room to be uttered before Kara leaned to kiss her wife. _Her wife_ , who responded in kind with matching keenness. Cheers and claps are heard, but it took them a fair while to acknowledge anything other than each other.

Kara rests her forehead against Lena, breathlessly happy at the fingers running over her neck idly.

“Was it worth the wait, my darling?” Lena asks, her pretty lashes damp.

“For you? I would wait until the oceans hollowed”

She kissed her again, selfishly keeping her away a moment longer. Then she pulled back and jostled Lena gently into the embrace of her new in-laws to be coddled and adored in all the ways she deserved.

…

Lena’s wedding was fated to be a black day, or so she had thought all her life. She was to be handed off to some man of her family’s approval and there on out obey his every will. Her expectations included to be paraded like an animal and scuffled into surrendering of her own free will. 

This was not even remotely close to the things she’d dreaded. No, this was a greater gift than she believed to have earned. This was tangy mead, bright laugher, and Kara holding her hand. It was the world’s biggest twist of events and Lena savored it with the same manner a child would when given an unexpected but ardently desired treat.

She spent the noon as a greedy creature, using every single excuse available to insert herself in Kara’s personal space. Far too handsy, throwing away the coyness of a newlywed bride ought to perform. An act she surely would have to abide by on their public ceremony.

Nobody seemed to mind, less of all her wife. Kara had no qualms about displaying her affection, intent on keeping at least a hand on her back or waist the whole time.

To encompass it all she settled on a word: mad. Wonderfully mad.

“Am I doing alright so far?” Kara asked against the lace covering her shoulder "would you say I'm a good catch?"

Lena bit her lip to muffle a chuckle “oh, yes. I can almost hear the jealous shrieking of a thousand Kryptonian girls because I’ve stolen their spot”

“Poor things” Kara said.

She turned from her place plopped between the blonde’s legs, forgetting the pink sunset in order to stare into blue eyes “Tough luck for them. You’re mine”

Kara blushed and swallowed thickly “That I am” she greatly enjoyed the remainder.

A smirk bloomed at the sight “mm-hmm my gorgeous wife” she remarked delivering short kisses to parted lips “you make me so happy” Kara closed her eyes, fingers dug in the sand “I’ve never been this happy before”

Her words weren’t meant as a challenge and yet Kara believed it so, pressing her into the sand to prove she could make her the happiest woman on earth.

Lena succumbed to her for a good while, only separating at the rapid descent of the sun “We should get back” despite how stuffed she felt from their earlier feast, they were probably expected for supper.

“Actually, I have something to show you” Kara said as she helped her up.

They walked down the shore with a lazy step and Lena was surprised to find a rowing boat ducked into the sand and tow strong Naltorians to steer it.

“See that?” Kara asked and pointed to a ship anchored close.

She mistook it for Nia’s Nura for a moment, but it was not the same vessel “Yes?”

Kara’s hands fell on her hips from behind as she leaned over Lena’s shoulder to speak “It’s yours”

“What?” Lena turned to look at her.

“Well, I guess is ours,” The blonde said, tapping the ring on her finger “but what I mean is that this is your wedding present”

Lena frowned “Kara, we weren’t supposed to-“

“I know, I know. I just couldn’t resist. You told me so many times that you wanted to see the world. What better way?”

She had definitely said it, so often. But they had duties and worries awaiting them. It could be years before they could even-

Kara’s dimming eyes, the growing doubt in them, had her shutting down the inconvenient train of thought.

“Thank you” Lena brushed golden hair to the side to caress the place below Kara’s ear “You really shouldn’t have” she sighed, thinking of how inadequate her own gift seemed now, perhaos I'd be better to let it roat on the bottom of her trunk.

“I wanted to. Also, is an old tradition here” Kara clears her throat before continuing “for couples to spend their first night at sea. The Nals have been doing it for centuries”

Lena lifts her brow “is it now? We won’t sleep in the castle tonight?”

“No? Of course if you wanted to we can. I- this was just an idea. We don’t have to, there’s no need really and i know you got seasick before but-“

“Shh” she quiets the ramble with her index finger “would you mind if I bathed first?”

She’s coated in a layer of sand and sweat that she’d rather wash off before… well, _before_.

Kara agreed, nervously laughing before holding out her hand and taking them back to the castle's halls of salt.

Lena scrubs herself clean in steamy scented water provided to her, all the while thinking of Kara doing the same down the hallway. She’d very much rather they did it together, but there’s a timid spirit to this night that she wishes not to ruin.

She opts for a rich emerald gown, enjoying the brazen way in which Kara’s eyes roam her figure when she sees it. Lena is guilty of it as well, admiring how the Kryptonian looks. Gone was the blue dress, the one that had perfectly corroborated her belief that Kara was Rao’s finest craft to date.

Her wife wore trousers now and Lena had never quite found anything that quickened her pulse as much as the view of Kara’s sculpted thighs. 

“What’s that?” Kara wondered once she noticed the leather-bound book on her grasp.

It’s a slimmer read but none other volume was as valuable to her “Your wedding gift. A poor one I admit” she laughed at herself.

It’s a mistake, Kara has never liked that type of mocking and she reprimands it with a frown.

“I meant that it is little compared to what you’ve given me” She tried but Kara’s face showed her contrarian beliefs. Rapidly she trusts the object into bigger hands “Well, you tell me if it’s any good”

Kara stared at the inconspicuous cover before flipping the book open. There was a twinge of confusion in her face in the beginning, then recognition at what she's holding. Her fingers trace over the first couple of pages before glancing back at Lena.

“Are these…how long have you been…” Kara stumbles in curiosity.

Poetry had fascinated her since childhood. Lillian had chastised such a frivolous entertainment, but Kara had revived it.

“Since Argo” her first writings had been scribbled on the back of books, about how iridescent Kara’s eyes could look against the sun “and after I left, whenever I thought of you”

What she has collected for Kara is merely a quarter of the large amass of writings made to alleviate the longing. Some are light pieces filled with the wishful dreaming of their time as youthful lovers.

But there’s also the brokenness of their years apart, the tales of freezing nights in deserted roads where Kara’s ghost was the warmest thing in miles.

And there are words of reverence put on paper while Kara lays on the bed, bruised violet and red by Oliver’s mangling, mumbling for Lena to drop whatever task she's up to and return to her.

“Lena…” Kara croaked, giving her no warning as she’s ripped from the ground by a firm embrace.

The speechlessness lasts and Lena casted aside all her worries “Like it?”

Kara lowers her with a scoff “You’re unbelievable. It was no contest but this is, it’s-” she struggled for a word “I love it, I love you. Thank you. You'll read me some?”

"Whatever you want, darling. Though I think is best I do so later this evening. Is so early, there’s much to do” Her playfulness is bold, maybe borderline obtrusive. Yet Kara complies without question. 

There’s not a soul around when they redo their path back to the beach, a considerate effort from everyone to allow some privacy likely. Still, Lena expects the bawdy comments to come tomorrow from Nia and her new sister-in-law.

Outside the wind became chilling and Lena huddled against Kara, her little fire, to chase the cold. The ship’s white sails were stark under the moonlight, the ochre-painted hull perched over the black water. 

Kara let her stroll around once boarded, following behind her with satisfaction. She can only imagine how much gold left the El’s treasury for the fine work.

“It’s beautiful” Lena said, back stretched over the main mast.

“It had to be worthy of its captain”

“And who would that fellow be?”

The blonde shook her head to oppose the assumption “Not a fellow, a Queen. The most marvelous, fierce empress of the sea”

Lena snorted “Fierce?”

“Abundantly. But I do think those traits are not required past twilight” Kara said, her eyes just a little darker than usual “is nice to yield to more delicate inclinations”

“Is delicate really the word you want to use?” She quipped, happy to hear Kara’s sharp inhale.

“Yes” the admission is accompanied by pulling on her arm, gentle but insistent, to ensure she’s promptly a hair away from the blonde “one of many”

“Does-“ Lena licked her lips “the captain have private quarters?”

Quitting any appearance of patience Kara took her to the very rear of the ship and into the candle-light room just below the deck. There are a few appliances, accommodated in nature to not cram the place. Yet the biggest misuse of space is a four-poster bed, one that likely had to be ensemble aboard.

She threw a knowing look to Kara, who despite the casual stance leaned on the door frame to avoid her eyes, slightly embarrassed. Lena didn’t laugh, she couldn’t really, sight set on the hand-carved headboard and the plush bedding, feeling too warm all over.

Kara must mistake her expression for something other than nervous excitement “We could go outside, watch the stars. I know a really good song about the stars”

The offer is wonderful, to hear Kara’s lovely voice with the glimmering lights above them. It's ideal and innocent, but there’s a much more pressing desire that needs appeasing first. So Lena dragged the blonde in and sensibly shut the door, even though they’re alone on the galley. 

When they were set by the bed it becomes clear the Kryptonian’s chivalry is fraying, not something Lena minded. She teased the buckles of Kara’s jerking, saw her hand grabbing onto one of the bedposts, knuckles white. 

“Did you not say you thought of me, when we’re apart?” she asked.

“Of course I did” Kara assured with a slight frown.

“But not like this?” she knew the answer already, she knew by the way Kara would hold onto her hips whilst sleeping or the manner in which she’d put Lena on her lap in private to kiss her long and hard “As your wife, in our bed. Did you not imagine what it would be like, Kara?”

The provocation served its purpose. Thus, Kara proceeded to lap into her mouth, wrinkling her gown with roaming hands. An urgency distilled from atrocious of waiting, she’s surprised they even managed to repress it as long as they did.

“Nothing else was on my mind” the clarification, plus the squeeze of unruly hands on her waist robbed her of a gasp “I want you so much, Lena”

With those words, Kara set in motion the chain of events that led them to bed. The undressing was done in a clumsy haste, laces and buttons overlooked and maltreated until all fabric laid discarded in a pile.

It’s not the first time that she’s seen Kara naked and despite the passage of time she’d still describe in the same way. Kara is, to put it simply, a work of art. No matter that she’s slimmer now, less bulk, and more tight muscles. No matter that there are scars where there was none before.

No matter, Lena’s chest lit on fire at the sight. Kara looked just as enchanted in return, watching her avidly to perceive the changes of Lena’s body as well.

“You’re so pretty,” Kara said and though Lena never aimed to be anyone’s pretty wife she’s pulsing at the praise “So beautiful”

“Says the progeny of the sun itself” Lena replied, letting her hand wander over taut muscles and shifting ribs. Kara was about to retort, she felt it coming “love, no more talking, please? I need you”

The pleading brought forth a heavy blush, yet she didn’t regret it once Kara nestled them into the soft sheets. However, the blonde didn’t stood by the request of silence, far from it, she lavished her with praise whilst hiking Lena’s leg over her hips to get them utterly pressed together.

Kara made a trail below her jaw, down her neck until she was nosing into her chest. Lena whined desperately, died a little, as Kara took her pink buds to suck them hot and stiff. She succumbed to the single-focused Kryptonian above her, let her do as she pleased. Never once had she asked if Kara had any experience with this kind of intimacy, she didn’t care to be informed of it.

Yet she liked the knowledge now acquired. Liked the sturdiness of Kara slotted between her legs, the maddening pace of her tongue over the skin, and the shin of sweat on her chest as they rock together. 

It’s not too long before Lena crashes into a force unknown, one that sweeps her off her feet while she moans far louder than she intends. She trembled, and trashed, and pulled at Kara’s forearm buried down the nook of their bellies, wanting it to stop but never to stop.

Kara relented and slowed down to let her become somewhat human again “You look so perfect like this, _Zhao_ ” She coos, hunched to distribute wet kisses under heaving breasts and it has Lena whimpering shamefully “hmm more?”

“Yes, more” Lena begged, pupils blown. Kara moved to comply in a misreading of her intentions. So Lena twisted them and pushed on Kara’s shoulder to signify what she had meant “let me”

“Oh” Kara said weakly on her back, heating under the deep green of Lena’s gaze.

Lena had grown prideful in her capabilities with time, once free of her family’s constant belittling. She’s intelligent, good at tinkering with things until they work and she does so now, paying attention to every detail.

How Kara’s hips buck when Lena runs her nails down her sides, and her breathing turns shallow when her nipples are caught by teeth. How her eyes widen and then shrink to slits as soon as Lena makes use of her mouth, to find that past wispy curls she tastes like honey and smoke.

The reward of her diligence is the sweet call of her name on Kara’s lips as she rises and rises and falls, with her heels digging into the bed and her hands-on Lena’s hair.

“Great Rao” Kara muttered, lightly shuddering “Lena, _fuck_ ”

It made her hush a laugh against her wife’s lax thigh “Good?”

Kara gnawed her lip “Come up here so I can tell you exactly how much”

Lena went gladly, suspecting that there would be little talk if any.

…

The murmur of slushing water was the first thing she perceived when she woke. The gentle twining of a hand on her hair the second.

“I feel asleep” she groaned against Lena’s shoulder.

“Just for a while”

Most of the candles had burned out already, turning the room dark. Inside the bed it was cozy, the warmth maintained by the two bodies huddled together.

Kara propped up on an elbow and kissed her wife a little more, lips deliciously puffy with use. She felt heavy and content, tired in a pleasant way. Lena let out a tiny nasal sound and for a moment she considered taking her again. Lena pulled on the back of her neck, perhaps thinking the same.

But it was unwise, excess led to hurt. Lena’s last sobbed high had been proof enough, despite her lust-filled gaze Kara had seen her limit approaching. She herself was aching below the hips, a feeling that would be uncomfortable if it hadn’t been provided by Lena's lovemaking.

“You’re proving more effective than any training I’ve ever done” she joked, pecking the mole at the base of a dainty throat.

“Why, darling, I have to keep you in shape,” Lena said “though I should tell your General that she should sharpen up her regime”

“My sister does not need to know such things” her voice broke at the end of the sentence, dry as a desert. When she tried to leave the bed Lena secured her arms around her midriff, with her soft breath tickling her back.

“No” She said meekly.

“Yes, I would like to ensure we don’t die of thirst on our wedding night” Kara reasoned. After being reluctantly freed she went to find the pitcher and gulped down a full cup.

“It’s almost morning,” Lena remarked absently, now seated at the edge of the bed. Eyes fixed on Kara’s chiseled shape as she strolled back to her.

“True” she stood between Lena’s legs, passing the cup “I suppose time goes faster when you’re well entertained”

Lena drank the cup empty and discarded it recklessly in order to sneak her hands onto Kara’s butt to pull her closer “Well, I’m quite happy to keep on occupying you time, Your Grace” she said, sprinkling kisses dangerously low on her pelvis.

Kara hummed in agreement tipping Lena’s chin up “You’ll be the death of me, Lena Luthor”

“That’s not actually my intention”

“No? Then what is it?”

Lena gazed up, her face earnest “To love you. In every way, I can”

“That’s more than I could ever ask for” Kara said, leaning down to kiss her for the thousandth time.

“There’s no need to ask for what has belonged to you since the beginning” Lena assured and intertwines the fingers of their left hands, making the golden bands tick in meeting.

“Can I ask for something else then?”

Lena gave in to her wish with no protests and they dress mildly to step into the deck. The morning is still grey and cold, so Kara wraps over her beloved to shield her and receives a gleaming smile for the trouble.

They settle on the quarterdeck and look out at the horizon as the sun starts to sprout and bring out the vibrant blue of the water.

It’s their first sunrise as one and Kara greets it with delight. With Lena’s weight bearing down on her front and the absolute certainty that the storm was behind them at last. Whether that peace was something she deserved was unclear, but she’d hold on to it. She’d protect it.

“So, I may have gotten you another wedding present” Lena drops casually. 

“Another one?” Kara acts surprised. As if she doesn’t have an army of builders across the sea making a new home for them both, sat at the edge of Umbra and Krypton.

“Yes, but it’s a really small one. For now, I’m hoping it will grow”

Kara’s eyes bulged at the words, her mind defaulting to the obvious conjecture that fitted the description.

Lena chuckled, shaking her head “Not that, love, not yet. I meant this”

In the middle of Lena’s milky palm rested an acorn, young and still speckled green, fallen from an oak not too long ago. Kara picked it to put carefully and looks at it with wonder.

“ The night we ran from Lex...” Lena hesitates, gauging her reaction to such a bitter memory. Kara nods for her to continue.

“I shouldn’t have been prying. In truth, I wanted to comfort you but I didn’t know what I could say or do”

She remembered the silent crying she’d allowed to slip thinking everyone was asleep. Kara had thought it her lowest moment then. In retrospect, it had been all but the start of an inconceivable pain.

“Astra came to talk to you, under the oak”

“I was so angry at her” Kara said, heavy with regret. The things she could’ve told her aunt, the things that really matter and not the spiteful retaliatory ones she’d let out. The way Astra had gazed at her with hurting eyes while sitting on those curling roots haunted her still.

“But you loved her regardless. And she loved you too, so much” Lena ran a hand up Kara’s chest to soothe her “with all her heart. I saw it”

“I still love her” Every time she thought of her that love rattled and scratched, seeking a recipient that was gone from the earth.

“I’m sure she does too,” her wife said, so firmly for someone detached from divine belief “and until you can be with her again, I think we could pour that love into something that guards her memory”

Kara stared at the caring yet tentative expression of her most important person, with a heart so light it could’ve flown out of her ribcage. She cradled Lena’s face tenderly, blinking in amazement at the mere fact of her existence “Sometimes I doubt if you’re real or just in my head”

It confused Lena slightly “why?”

“Because I never thought love could last. You've proved me wrong. You're my forever”

Lena's smile was blinding, a rival to the all the stars combined "Forever. I love you, Kara. Forever, if that's even close to enough"

"i love you too, my sun" Kara said. It wasn’t enough, but she’d find better words. She would whisper them into Lena’s ears throughout the years and love her more each morning like a dutiful shoulder or Queen’s knight. Or simply a wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it ends. I can't believe I actually finished this, it's the longest thing I've ever written in my fucking life. Thank you for how nice and patient you've all been with me, and with this story full of mistakes and incoherence. I really hope that I've given you a mildly okay ending worth your time, feel free to share your thoughts and complains, i love reading them. You've all been really nice and it makes me happy to know there are awesome people like you out there. Anyway, I love you all, stay safe, and be as kind to yourselves as you've been to me. Peace out ✌🏼

**Author's Note:**

> this idea is a mess but I might continue. Happy holidays.


End file.
